Of Sex and Chocolate
Chapter 5a Susan
The next few weeks were a blur of more and more exercise and less and less appetite. The results were modest losses of eleven, nine and seven pounds for the past three weeks.
Aaron continued to be supportive, telling me that I was still greatly exceeding his expectations. Last week, I was down to a hundred and sixty eight pounds and I could tell Aaron was enjoying watching me turn and pirouette my leaner body when I walked into the office.
We also began to call each other at home. Just to check to see how we were doing. I’ve learned a lot about Aaron over the past few weeks. His divorced had left him lonely and lacking confidence in his own attractiveness (something I would fix in a couple months or so). Like me, he didn’t have a lot of friends; just his college roommate, a classmate from grad school (who were both long distance) and Toni and her husband. Like me he lost most of his friends in the divorce (though in his case it was because of his introverted nature, while in mine it was because I wasn’t filthy rich anymore). How such a wonderful, caring man who was only a couple years older than me, could fly beneath everybody’s radar was a puzzle.
Jana and I kept hanging out; sometimes eating dinner after my appointment or going to a movie. Last week, I introduced her to Beverly and the three of us formed a “Doctor Hershey’s Patients Club” (as I coined it). Both Bev and Jana had noticed his reaction when they mentioned my name to him. While he tried to seem composed, they reported that he blushed and awkwardly smiled while trying to change the subject.
My workouts with my trainer have been going really well. He was definitely, to quote Michael Jackson, a “PYT, Pretty Young Thing” and was the kind of guy that I used to drool over. Not that I would throw him out of bed (because he would never deign to enter it), but I had a new type, I liked to refer to as… I guess for lack of a better word, “Aaron” Anyway, last week, my back stopped hurting as much, so I was able to stop wearing the back brace. This allowed me much greater flexibility and I felt the freedom to increase my reps for crunches and bench pressing. I was reluctant to get the trainer at first, but Aaron saw to it that the voice of Aaron… I mean reason, allowed me to see the benefit (for the purpose of safety and guidance).
Monday night I came back from my after work workout and collapsed on my bed. While I was tired, I felt wonderful. I was tempted to weigh myself, figuring that I may have lost even a little more weight, but knew I should wait until the morning. That night I called Aaron and I decided to do something naughty. I took off all my clothes and lay back down on my bed.
“Hey Aaron,” I said sexily.
“How is my beautiful patient feeling tonight?” he responded.
“I feel quite good. In fact, dare I say wonderful,” I smiled as I let my other hand wander to my clitoris as I began to rub it gently.
“How was the workout today?”
“Great! I feel like a new woman!” I said as my voice took on a breathy quality.
“I like the sound of that, not that I didn’t like the old you any less,” he said as his voice took on an earnest quality.
“You know how to make a girl feel good…” I sighed as I felt my passion begin to rise.
“Don’t you mean ‘good about yourself?” he asked quizzically.
“mmmm… no…just good… you make me feel so good…” I almost moaned.
“Susan… you’re not…” he started.
“I ammmm…” I slurred as I began to stick my index finger in my pussy after it had pressed the speaker button “You don’t… mind that… I put…you on speaker?” I asked as I began to pound that finger and then immediately, its adjacent neighbor in and out of my drenched pussy.
“Susan… you shouldn’t…”
“You… have nobody else… to blame but yourself” I interrupted with a grunt as I was hotter than Death Valley in August, at noon.
“Oh Susan…” he moaned.
“Oh Aaron!” I cried out as I climaxed as hard as I ever had in my life.
There were a few moments of silence as I hunted for my marbles and for Aaron who was probably in shock.
Then I heard his voice. “Susan, I have to go,” he said abruptly as he hung up.
I was devastated. I knew that it was my fault. Aaron and I had found a nice personal rapport that if I had been patient might have gone somewhere. But I couldn’t help myself. I needed him then. I needed him now. While I had just had the largest orgasm of my life, now I was crying.
A few minutes later my phone rang. When I saw the number on Caller ID, I quickly picked it up. “Oh, Aaron… I’m so sorry!” I sobbed.
“It’s OK honey. I think I was caught a little off guard” said Aaron.
“But I just want…did you just call me ‘honey’?” I said with a strange mixture of hope and confusion.
“I guess I did” sighed Aaron. “Susan, we have to dial this down. I shouldn’t say this, but since you know already, I’m just going to come out and say it anyway. I’m in love with you!”
Chapter 5b Aaron
The day after my disastrous appointment with Jana, she had called me up and cancelled the extra appointment. When I asked her why and why she seemed so happy, she told me that Susan had helped her sort out her feelings over dinner, the previous night after Susan’s appointment. When I hung up the phone, I laughed to myself. Susan was amazing. “She really is trying to take over my practice” I laughed out loud thinking back to our first session. I didn’t have a big ego. The important thing is Jana was feeling better. I owed Susan a debt of gratitude for doing what I couldn’t, so I called her up at home to tell her so when I got back to my place. While I was telling myself that was the reason, I knew that somewhere deep inside of me, there was an ulterior motive. Upon reflection, just seeing Susan at appointments was not good enough. I needed her in my life more than just an hour a week (not counting evening “play time”).
It did not end there. Soon we were calling each other all the time. Before I met Susan, I didn’t realize how lonely I really was. Now I lived to hear Susan’s voice. It became like beautiful music to me. We began to talk about our lives and as I suspected, she was just as lonely as I was. While I found my job quite fulfilling, she hated hers. I joked about her going back to school and getting her PHD in psychology (after helping Jana, I thought that she was a natural), she admitted that the idea did intrigue her.
Over the next few weeks there were more phone calls and more “play time” At our weekly sessions, Susan was dropping fat and even adding a little muscle tone. He face was becoming more and more lovely. The puffiness in her face was only slightly present. Her beautiful blue eyes, mouth and lips were now quite clear and no longer required a smile to look beautiful. When she did smile, my heart did back flips. Our sessions were no longer flirty. They were downright suggestive. She took every opportunity to flaunt her improved body to me and I didn’t make her stop. I just drank it in and at the end of every session I hoped to hear the magic words “I’m happy where I am and I don’t need you as my therapist anymore.” Sadly, those words never came. I wanted Susan now. I knew I could have her at any moment, but what few ethics I had left, were clinging to me, telling me I had to wait until it was over.
Now was the eve of the eighth appointment and I thought back to last night. Last night was the first night that I did not see twenty year old Susan in my fantasy. I saw her the way she was last Tuesday when she floated around my office. Her breasts when I first met her were easily a large “E cup”. Now they were in the “D” range and as she willingly pointed out to me how they had firmed up some. Her formerly fat belly, while not flat, was looking a lot trimmer. Her large ass was still generous, but not huge. Her face was still a little puffy, but it did not detract much at all from her gorgeous countenance. I thought that it would be unrealistic for Susan to get back to 115 pounds, but 130 pounds would still have been reasonable. She admitted to me that she was about 125 pounds when she got married, as she had filled out a little in her early twenties (as at 115 she was very skinny). Now at 168 pounds, she was still a vision to me. Last night my real “fantasy Susan” rode us both to orgasm and I came harder than any real sex I’ve ever had.
Susan called me tonight and she finally crossed the line. She “jilled off” with me on the phone with her. God help me I loved it! I was so hard that I could cut diamonds with my cock. When she came, my jeans were already around my ankles and my hands were in my boxers. I had to hang up. When I was done, I cried for a few moments (and I was not a man prone to crying). I knew that I was losing myself in Susan. This had to end now, or we had to get this under control. As much as I loved her, a lot of who I was, was being sacrificed on the altar of my overwhelming feelings for her. Every day that I got closer to her, I felt like I was losing a little part of myself. The man who I was, would never had allowed me to compromise my values, but in some ways, I had. I knew that when it was over, I could be able to look in the mirror again, but for now the price for my love was the loss of who I was. Even though Susan did not understand, I knew for both of our sakes that the price was too steep. I called her back.
“Oh, Aaron… I’m so sorry!” she sobbed.
“It’s OK honey. I think I was caught off guard a little,” I said carelessly.
“But I just want…did you just call me ‘honey’?”
“I guess I did,” I said before a quick pause. “Susan, we have to dial this down. I shouldn’t say this, but since you know already, I’m just going to come out and say it any way. I’m in love with you!”
There was a pause at the other end of the line.
After what seemed like an eternity Susan said “You know I love you too.”
After a sigh of relief on my part I continued. “Then you have to understand, what is happening has to stop. As long as I am your therapist we can’t be together.”
“But we aren’t together!” she complained.
“As long as we are talking to each other while we get off, we are,” I said.
“You mean…”
“Why do you think I had to hang up?” I interrupted with a nervous chuckle. “It’s one thing to fantasize about one another, but phone sex is crossing the line.”
“Oh…” she said thoughtfully.
“When you decide that you don’t want me to be your therapist, just let me know, OK? Until then we need to wait. You understand?” I said hoping that she would just fire me on the spot, so I could drive over.
Instead I heard her say: “OK.”
As I disconnected, I was disappointed in some ways, but relieved in others. I hoped that maybe my “second and third C’s” would be able to return from their exile to help me with Susan. There was also part of me that was telling me that I was on the verge of totally losing them.
Chapter 5c Susan
It was hard to hear Aaron say what he did, but I understood. He seemed to have fallen as hard for me as I did for him. When he said the part about me telling him that I didn’t need him as a therapist anymore, I was greatly tempted, but part of me felt I wasn’t good enough for him yet. Perhaps it was the feeling of being unattractive for so long that I had lost confidence. Another part of me was worried that if I didn’t become that twenty year old hottie again, he would get tired of me the way Richard had. Still I couldn’t help myself tonight. I had violated the trust of the man I loved. It was almost as if I had raped him with the unwitting phone sex and while I knew part of him wanted it too, it did not excuse what I had done.
That night after supper, I went to bed. I was resolute that I wouldn’t masturbate, but “magic time” arrived (damn that post-hypnotic suggestion!) and I knew my body would not give me a choice. Then I felt that familiar warm wetness in between my legs.
As I closed my eyes I saw my lithe twenty year old body and then I looked up at Aaron. Suddenly I heard my phone ring, which disrupted my fantasy. I half smiled and half cursed and picked it up.
A moment later, I hung up not remembering what had happened. I no longer felt horny. I felt relaxed, calm and happy. I also knew that Aaron wasn’t angry with me. I knew that he still loved me and I still loved him. When I looked at the clock it was as if I had just lost five minutes. I looked at my Caller ID and saw that it was Aaron who called. I laughed. The bastard tranced me over the phone. He knew what I must have been feeling, so he triggered me to take away my discomfort. He did love me, was the happy thought I fell to sleep with.
When I woke up in the morning, Dream Aaron and I did the fast and dirty and then I stepped on the scale. Nine more pounds shed! With the extra exercise, I figured I might have lost more, but it was still better than last week (and according to Aaron, far more than typical for this stage. After work, I hurried over to Aaron’s office.
“Hey chicky,” greeted Toni.
“Hey yourself,” I smiled. “Toni, I know its short notice, but I was wondering if you want to join Jana, Bev and I for supper tonight?” The girls and I really liked Toni a lot and decided to ask her to join us.
“Sorry. I already have plans. I’m going out with you, Jana and Bev.”
“What?”
“Jana just asked,” she grinned.
“Why, you minx!” I laughed.
“That’s what Brian calls me” she laughed referring to her hubby. “I’ll let him worry about the kids tonight. I need a girl’s night out.”
Then Jana came out and gave me a hug. We agreed to wait for Toni after my appointment and meet Bev at the restaurant. I then walked into appointment eight.
Chapter 5d Aaron
Well my last session with Jana went quite well. She seemed to have completely recovered from the date fiasco of a few weeks ago. She even indicated that there may be a new guy on the horizon, but she was going to put her cards on the table early with the lad, should it ever get that far. I wish I could have taken credit, but it seemed that Susan and Beverly have made a huge difference in her life. She really did not have many close friends, but she finally took my advice to reach out to people. Still, I wasn’t counting on her reaching out to my other patients. Now apparently they are including Toni in their dinner plans. If only I could be a fly in the wall of that restaurant, I laughed to myself. They probably wouldn’t be talking about me anyway.
Susan walked in and she was a vision. She clearly lost around another ten pounds. She also seemed quite toned considering she was probably still a good thirty pounds or so from where she would end up. After last night, I wanted to make sure that this appointment wouldn’t be as awkward for her as it would be for me. I made sure when I triggered her that she knew that I still loved her, but tried to encourage her to slow down a little for both our sakes. As it turned out, her attitude made things less awkward for both of us. It seemed to be working.
We managed to add another suggestion to up her cardio workouts, which meant more treadmill. After careful thought, I removed the restriction to replace an extra meal with a strawberry shake at her discretion (I knew it was self-gratifying but I couldn’t resist). Just before I woke her, I couldn’t help but indulge my need to see her hypnotized eyes (as had become my routine). God, she looked sexy. I wanted her. I wanted her now! Why couldn’t she just get this over with? At a 159 pounds on her slight 5′7 frame, she was a bit heavy, but still beautiful. Her Hellenic face could have launched a thousand ships. Though her body was still a little chunky, she was curvy in a good way and beginning to firm up nicely. I was tempted to hypnotically influence her to be OK with her current weight, but then my remaining “C” reminded me that I loved her and it would be unfair to manipulate her that way.
When I woke her up, she smiled at me. As always, I made her wake up feeling warm and relaxed. She kind of yawned and stretched out in feline fashion.
“How do you feel?” I smiled.
“Like a woman in love,” she smiled, stood up and approached me.
I was scared as I felt her wrap her arms around my neck and lean in to kiss me. I felt her hot breath on my neck as she pulled my head down. My heart was beating 100 miles per hour. I felt helpless as her lips came closer to my face. When our lips were so close that they were almost touching, hers veered to the left and she kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear. “We’re almost there, darling… just a little longer… can you wait?” she husked, as she pulled her face back to look into mine for an answer.
I kind of nodded spastically not really sure what to do or if my nod really meant anything.
Then she then pulled me to her, hugging me tightly before breaking the clinch. She took her hands in mine (as had become our routine) and beamed into my eyes. I knew it was only about a half a minute, but it seemed like a lifetime. Those beautiful blue orbs stood out from her face in a way that they probably hadn’t in a couple of years. I knew that Susan really loved me and my love for her began to overwhelm me. It took every ounce of strength in my body not to capture her lips with mine, but I managed to hold on to my convictions as I cursed them in my heart. After our hands came apart, she picked up her pocketbook, opened the door, blew me a kiss and walked out of my life for another week.