Walkthrough
Chapter One
Empty Koors cans rattles in the bottom of the trash bag.
Who does she think she’s fooling? I’m so fucking glad Aldo is gone. Fuck Aldo, but he left her with a broken heart. And he left me, taking care of her during a three month drunk, to be followed by years of co-dependent bullshit.
I could leave her too, but then I’d be just like everyone else. Wade, that shit heel, he demanded grandma and grandpa stopped visiting, and now they’re both gone. Then there were Charlie and James, and now Aldo. Each one has left her a peg lower than the last. I wonder who the fuck she’ll find next?
“Hello, are you Mr. Todd Dearborn?”
A mother fucking Arab! How could she? I’m going to fucking kill her! “Look man, if this is about you dating my mom? All I can tell you is, I’m not interested in anything you have to say.”
“Mr. Dearborn, my name is Ali. I tell a joke to everyone that my mother named me after the American boxing champion. That usually breaks the ice, but you are not everyone. So, I will be brief. In the Gulf War, I was an interpreter for America and a scientist for Iraq. Your father, Major Daniel Dearborn, gave his life, saving my research.”
“I don’t know what you want from me, but—”
“No, no, my friend, please, I have come a long way to give you my gratitude and a gift.”
“Hey, um, don’t sweat it. That was a long time ago, and really I’ve moved on. So don’t worry about it.”
“Yes, please forgive me. You are right. It was a long time ago, but I had to wait until now,” said the older man, holding up his phone.
“What, you had to wait so you could show me your new eFone22?”
“No, Mr. Dearborn, this is an app that allows me to predict the best outcome for an interaction. Your father felt this research was worth dying for, but sadly after a decade of failure. I must concede it was not.”
“Then why waste my time just to tell me my dad died for nothing?”
“Mr. Dearborn, I beg you, do not be angry, um, the software predicted that this is the first time since your father’s passing that you would listen to me. I’m sorry. It is hard for a scientist to communicate well in their own language, and almost impossible in another. What I’m trying to tell you is the research promised world peace. If world leaders made the best decision at the best time to get the best result, then peace agreements would last longer. And when broken, peace agreements would be easier to fix.”
“Well, good luck with that, Mr. Ali, but really, I need to be going.”
“Please, hear me out. The science works… one on one, but it does not scale. For example, do you hate me? Be honest.”
“No… not really.”
“What about Muslims? Do you hate them? Again, speak your mind.”
“To tell the truth, I’m tired of carrying that grudge.”
“Exactly! The program foretold this very change in heart, in fact, Mr. Dearborn, for the past 10 years, you have hated the Muslim people with all your might, and yet, after only a few minutes of talking to me, you no longer hate them or me. I call that a miracle. My son calls it a walkthrough. Does that make sense to you?”
“Not really, sir. Please keep your app. I’ll get along fine without it.”
“No, you will not, and sadly, even with it, you are more likely to fail than succeed. There is so much anger in you, but this is the best I can do to repay you for the sacrifice your father made for me. It is already on your phone, Mr. Dearborn. What you do with it from here on is up to you,” said the large man, leaving the restaurant as quietly as he entered it.
How the hell did he do that? If my phone is toast, I’m going to lose my shit, so help me! “Delete app, no delete app, mmm, let’s try this, okay, now delete app. Well fuck, how the hell do I get rid of this thing?”
request denied
“Fuck eFone and their eavesdropping software.”
possibility of failure 79%
“Wow, I’ve a 21% chance to fuck over eFone. Who knew?”
Agnon 2K
“Agnon? Hey, can I call you—”
Yes, I will respond to Aggie
“Whoa, how did you guess? I mean, even the most sophisticated AI out there needs an x-amount of interactions to predict an outcome... Is mom going on a drinking binge?”
98% chance of binge drinking
“Two lousy percent. That is the story of my life. Oh great, what two percent will save me from another Koors Light summer of misery?”
full spread
98% chance of binge drinking for 137 days
1% chance of finding love
1% chance of finding lust
“Aggie, chances of mom finding a boyfriend?”
0% chance of finding a boyfriend
“Aggie, chances of mom finding a lover?”
0% chance of finding a lover
“No wonder you couldn’t fix world peace. I get off work in an hour. If I’m lucky, mom will be asleep by the time we get home.”
After parking in the alley, I still had to go around to the front. Mom had passed out against the backdoor.
“Rita, Aggie, Aggie, Rita. What do you say Aggie? Should we get her tucked into bed?”
tuck into bed 99% chance of drinking binge
“So to keep mom from ruining another summer with Koors induced drama, all I have to do is let her sleep on the floor?”
removing panties raises the probability of finding lust by 3%
“Actually, that would serve her right. Good call Aggie. You know, I think me and you will get along great.”
“Ugh! Did the guy that invented pantyhose do it just to annoy women? These things suck. Damn it! I put a hole in the leg. Now they’re ruined.”
“Oh, geez us! You know Aggie, when I was little and going to school at the Army base in Korea, the officer’s wives would put on their white hats and gloves for bake sales. My mom could have been Jackie O’s sister. Now I’m looking at her skid marks while she’s passed out on the kitchen floor. I’ll tell you there are some things a son should never see. I’m calling it. The hose and the panties are going in the garbage with the, um, nine, ten, twelve empty beer cans.”
“Mom, you’re alive. How are you feeling?”
“We need to talk, mister. I woke up on the floor with no hose and no panties. What do you have to say for yourself?”
“You mean the hose that had a hole through the leg? And the panties that looked like you shit all over yourself? They’re in the garbage with two six packs of empty Koors. You want me to fish them out for you?”
“Why the hell did you take my clothes off?”
“Did you miss the; you shit all over yourself, bit? The proof’s in the garbage,” I said, pointing to the backdoor.
“Why did you leave me on the floor?”
raise trust level 2 points by mentioning cleaning her
raise lust level 3 points by mentioning seeing her naked sex
“Because, after I saw how filthy your coochie was, I figured you could stay on the floor until you had a shower. Next time, I’ll call the royal wipers to handle cleaning your ladyship’s butt-crack.”
“You looked at me?”
“Oh, come on, mom, it’s a little hard to wash someone’s ass and not look at them. Besides, you have seen me plenty of times. But now that we’re talking about it, get the razor out. Your shave is getting a little shaggy.”
Mom growled at me, but stopped when she noticed me eyeing the three empty beer cans on the kitchen counter. “Don’t start.”
“Why should I? It won’t do me any good,” I said, before going to my room.
Rita Cella corruption level with Todd Dearborn raised 1%
“Corruption level, are you saying that by leaving mom on the floor all night I corrupted her?”
Rita Cella’s current corruption level with Todd Dearborn 1%
“With Todd Dearborn? Does mom have a different corruption level with everyone else?”
Rita Cella corruption levels full spread
Wade Smith 67%
Charlie Briggs 24%
Aldo Cella 19%
James Jackson 9%
Daniel Dearborn 5%
Todd Dearborn 1%
“Wait a minute, dad only corrupted mom 5 measly percent? What the fuck good is that? I mean, what did he get for 5 percent?”
oral sex
“Oral? A blow job, Dad got mom to give him a blowjob, with just 5 percent? Would mom give me a blow job with 5 percent?”
no
“Fuck it figures! That’s how my luck always goes! Everything is twice as hard on Todd!”
3%
“No way! Aggie, you mean if I corrupt my mom just two more percent, she’ll suck my dick?”
yes
“Oh my god Aggie, what do I need to do?”
wait 3 days
“No really, I need to know what to do now.”
wait 3 days
“Great, my app won’t talk to me. Dear Abby, I just got into a fight with my app and she hasn’t talked to me for 3 days. What should I do?”
no one knows who Dear Abby was
“Gotcha, you knew who Dear Abby was,” I said, laughing at my phone.
wait 3 days
“If I ever meet Ali again, I’m going to ask him to program you with a sense of humor.”
Three days later.
“Mr. Todd Dearborn, this is Ft Harden base police. We have your mother at the station.”
“Is she alright?”
“We picked her up for drunk and disorderly. The other party has asked us to not make anything of the situation. If you could, we’d like to turn her over to you. If you can’t, she can stay with us overnight.”
I looked at the Aggie app.
pick up Rita Cella and make her repeat raises lust 5 points
“I can pick her up after I get off work. Do you know what happened?”
“Well kid, you didn’t hear this from me, but to keep her from being 86’d. She needs to learn her boundaries. Specifically, that General Whatcom’s crotch is a no groping zone; especially when Mrs. Whatcom is sitting at the same table. This matter is off the record, as the general doesn’t want a war widow to be embarrassed.”
“Okay Aggie, now what?”
make her repeat
“… repeat? Oh, I get to pull her panties off!”
you lose
“What? What do you mean I lose?”
full Spread
100% chance of being evicted
“You said repeat. I took her panties off the first time, right? So I get to take them off again, no? Oh well, I’ll pull them back up. Say, did you notice mom shaved? I’ve gotten to look at her pussy twice this week. Too bad she’s my mom.”
“You know what Aggie? I just got a hard-on stroking my mom’s twat. I really need to get a girlfriend. Aggie, on second thought, I don’t want to know the odds of that happening.”
make her repeat raises lust 5 points
“Repeat?” I said a little too loud.
“Do your balls hang low, do they swing to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?” said mom, singing in a loud, drunken mumble, murmuring along, and grabbing at my crotch. “Oh my, General Whatcom, you’ve grown!”
“Mom, mom, do you want to let go?”
“Todd? How did you get a seat at the general’s table?” she said, still kneading my junk.
“I didn’t. We’re home. If you’re done playing with my dick, I think it’s time for bed.”
“Oh no, Todd, we can’t sleep together… can we?”
raise trust 5 points by sleeping alone
I didn’t need that last piece of advice. But chances are good that she won’t remember this, anyway.
Rita woke up at the kitchen table with a stiff back, still wearing her clothes from the day before. She was both embarrassed and disappointed. “I need to apologize to Todd. It must be awkward enough dealing with a drunk for a mother, especially when she turns his kindness against him.”
Her apology would have to wait. Todd had already left for work. As the day wore on, Rita fixated on her shortcomings and medicated them with beer. By the time Todd returned from his shift at Crabby Jack’s Sea Shack, she needed help to stand up straight.
“Todd, Todd, oh Todd, honey come here, here, what I’m, hm, trying to tell you. Todd, sweetie, are you listening to your momma?”
“Mom, I’m tired and you’re a mess. Let’s just call it a night. Okay?”
“Is alright, ssssss won’t take long, tee-hee. Maybe it’ll get longer, but we’ll have to see, tee-hee. I wasss a bad momma tuh jump your sssshit fur helping me. I just wanted to tell you it’s okay to undress me. It’s not like you haven’t seen it already. I know, I know, I know hung boys, um young boys like peeking. It is something they do it is jest innnnooooncent inno? Innocence killed the cat. You know what I’m talking about?”
“Go to bed, mom.”
“No, this is important. I want you to undress me… Damn it! Get over here and undress your mother.”
undress her raises chance of being evicted 84%
make her undress herself raises corruption with Todd Dearborn 2%
“Oh, no, I’m not falling for another one of your head games. You want to get naked? Fine, get naked, but don’t blame me.”
Mom stood in the center of the room in a drunken daze. She had lost her train of thought. She knew she had a point to make, but damned if she could remember what.
“You heard me. Get naked,” I said, more than a little curious if she’d even do it.
“Oh, yeah!”
Mom removed her bathrobe.
“See, it’s okay to look at me naked, sweetheart.”
“I’m going to bed, mom.”
“Don’t you want to look at me?”
“What I don’t want is you turning this back on me the way you always do. I’m the one taking care of the house. I’m the one fixing whatever disaster you cause. And I—”
mention shaved pubic hair raises Rita’s lust for Todd Dearborn 1%
“And I noticed you shaved your pussy. Good job, mom,” I said, before walking off to my bedroom and locking the door.
“Now what?” I asked Aggie.
buy a bottle of wine and a bottle of grain alcohol at package store
buy a hypodermic basting needle at the kitchen supply store
buy a party wine cup and long straw at the party supply store
use the corkscrew from the kitchen
“Damn, you are like a little walkthrough,” I said, getting into bed and stroking my hard dick.
Eager to get started, I got up early and threw away all the beer in the house. Then I waited in town for four hours until the businesses opened.
At the package store: “One bottle of Merlot and one-half pint of Pure Grain, may I see your ID please,” said the clerk.
“I forgot it at home.”
“That’s okay. We’ll wait for you to go get it.”
Reluctantly, I left for the kitchen supply shop to continue my scavenger hunt while I thought about how to get the booze.
“One turkey baster,” said the mustachioed salesman, returning with a device that resembled a bicycle horn.
“Do you have a small one? Like a needle?”
“Oh, you want the Flavor-Injector,” he said, returning with a sturdy built hypodermic needle. “You can take the Flavor-Injector and directly inject your marinade into the meat.”
“That’s more like it, thank you.”
At the party supply store: I bought a plastic margarita glass that read, “TORO LOCO!!!” I didn’t want to consult with Aggie in the middle of the store, but the cup seemed to fit her description as I understood it.
Inspiration struck when I saw a smelly old hippie outside, holding a sign on the corner.
“Every little bit helps. Living in my van, man,” he said.
“Hey there, my name is Todd. Would you buy booze for me?”
“Hell yeah! I’ll buy booze for both of us!”
crafting table
push injector needle through cork
push air into wine bottle
turn upside down and draw off wine
repeat until you draw off 8 oz of wine
reverse process to inject alcohol into the bottle
careful not to suck the cork into the bottle
serve in full party cup offer straw for drinking
When I got home, mom was sober for the first time in weeks, and not happy about it.
“Where’s my beer? Mister!” mom yelled as soon as I walked through the door.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I bought you a Bimbo Merlot,” I said, holding up the tainted bottle.
“Todd, honey, I can’t afford to drink Bimbo Merlot. Let’s save it for a special occasion. Where did you put momma’s beer?”
“This is a special occasion,” I said as I put the Toro Loco party cup in front of her face.
I smiled, watching mom furrow her brow at the cartoon bull balls that made up the “Toro Loco” graphic. Undeterred, I continued with my well-rehearsed spiel.
“Did you ever notice that people buy these huge wine glasses and only drink a splash of wine in them?” I said, pouring a small amount into the bottom of the massive cup.
Mom frowned at the meager amount. She hadn’t had a drink all day, and she really hoped for a little more.
“I don’t know why? Everyone knows that once you open it, you’re going to drink it all. Am I right?” I said, adding more wine to the cup. Mom licked her lips and moved as if to pick up the cup.
“Stop, this is a special occasion, and you’ve got a party cup. You need a party amount,” I said, emptying the bottle of spiked wine into the cup, filling it to the brim.
“Toooodd,” said mom in a whiny complaint.
“Don’t be ungrateful. I’m saving you from another night of drinking Koors Light. Everyone says Koors tastes like piss. I wouldn’t know… but you would. Don’t deny it. Do you remember the white-wicker clothes hamper?”
Mom’s eyes went wide at the remark.
“We both know what happened in the bathroom.”
Mom recoiled in disbelief, but I was prepared for it and put the super-sized plastic straw in her face.
“You’ll need this,” I said, slowly lowering the straw from her nose to her lips. I couldn’t help but smile at how silly she looked with her eyes crossed.
“Say it!”
“Say what?”
“Oh, you know what to say. You said it to him. Now say it for me!”
Mom shook her head, focusing her eyes on the big straw.
“Alright, I will give you a clue. Over the lips…” I said, and all the color in mom’s face drained away.
She trembled as she said in the meekest of voices, “and past the gums look out stomach, here it comes.”
“Like I said, considering your beer selection, you must love the taste of piss. Well, you’ve earned your drink.”
When mom reached for the straw, I pulled it away. “Wade wouldn’t let you use your hands, and I will not let you use them either. One hand here and one there,” I said, pointing to the table to the right and left of the party cup. Mom realized she was too low to sit and drink from the cup. “Looks like you’re going to have to stand. And I can look at your cute little rump while you do it.”
“Todd, I’m your mother,” said mom. I think she was relieved that the conversation had turned away from her being a human urinal.
“You can be a mother and have a cute little rump. Now suck,” I said, plunging the straw into the large cup. “That’s a good girl. Suck it. You like to suck, don’t you?”
Mom wasn’t having any of it until she felt the slight tug when I pulled on the straw. Then she nodded as she greedily slurped down the warm wine before I took the straw away.
“Did I tell you to move?” I said when she stood up. “The only booze in the place is in this cup, so get back into position.”
“I’m playing along with your sick little game,” said mom, bowing down to suck on the straw in my hand.
“Good, I want you to play along. Now say, I love to suck.”
Mom looked up at me as mad as I had ever seen her. Following Aggie’s instructions had been risky. I mean, I didn’t know mom had drunk Wade’s piss. I couldn’t even fit into her clothes hamper, and if Wade caught me spying on them. He would have beaten the holy shit out of me. But when I mentioned knowing mom’s little secret, she had wilted. Life’s pretty interesting when you have a walkthrough.
“I love to suck,” said mom.
I shoved the straw back into her mouth and prepared myself for the next part.
Having a walkthrough is one thing, but in video games there’re also extra lives. I don’t have that luxury if I mess up. It’s game over, and I have to guess when mom has had enough to drink. Too soon, and it is game over. Too late, and she’s out like a light.
“Did I mention you have a cute rump?” I said, hoping to lighten the mood. To my amazement, mom wiggled her ass while she focused on drinking as much wine as she could. Aggie predicted mom would need a break about halfway through the drink. The higher alcohol content, the weird drinking position, and of course, the straw, worked together to make mom get drunk much faster than she expected.
“Whew, mommy needs a bit of a breather Todd,” Mom said, falling back into the dining chair. She hit it close enough to the center to keep from falling onto the floor, but only by throwing an arm wildly in the air to maintain her balance.
“Easy Rita,” I said, hoping that Aggie was right about using mom’s first name.
“Todd, I’m your mother.”
“Did you really want me to call you mom, when I pull out my cock?” Fingers, toes, and eyes crossed that this works and she doesn’t totally freak the fuck out. I pulled out my already hard dick and hoped for the best.
“Todd! What the Hell? Put that away!”
“Hey you got naked in front of me, first. I’m just returning the favor.”
“But I don’t want to look at you. Now put that away right this instant.”
“Fine, if you want it put away, you do it. I’m okay with it hanging out. We are both full grown taxpayers, in the privacy of our own home, and I want my dick on display.”
Mom tried to stand up but decided she was too tipsy, and a better course of action would be to crawl over to my crotch, lower center of gravity, and all that.
“Mother fucker!” she said, slapping my thigh. “If you won’t put that away… I will stuff it in your… eeewwh it’s all slimy!”
“That’s edible lube, cinnamon flavor. They also had a pina colada flavor, but I didn’t think it would pair with the wine.”
“What?”
“You said you love to suck, now suck?”
“Todd! I’m your mother”
“And you’re on your knees.”
“Well yeah, but”
“You love to suck. You said so yourself, and lucky girl, there’s a hard dick in your face… cinnamon flavored.”
“I, I… I’ll kiss it since you made it special for me and only because I love you, Todd.”
Rita gave the head of my throbbing rod a sloppy drunken kiss, accompanied by the obligatory “mmWaa” sound of an over-the-top theatrical smooch.
“Thass pretty good,” she said, licking her lips. Obviously, the booze was kicking in hard.
One last line, only a handful of words separated me from my first fucking blowjob… as long as I don’t fuck up. “It’s supposed to get sweeter the closer you get to my balls.”
“What?”
“Oh yeah, the sales lady swore that’s the way this lube works. Something about the sugar being heavier than oil, I think it settles closer to the ball-sack than on the tip of a hard dick.”
“Oh my god, what a load of hooey,” said mom staring at me in the eyes.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, that’s not what supposed to happen. She’s supposed to be sucking my knob, not twisting her face into that weird, drunken mom expression. What am I going to do now? Aggie’s on the table. As I grabbed my phone, fumbling to turn on Aggie and find out what to do next, I felt a sharp pain in my groin.
“Oh, no you don’t, I don’t do dick suck pics!” said mom, squeezing my nuts.
Aggie popped up a photo of mom slurping on James’ cock. “Then what’s this?” I said, shoving the phone in her face.
“That son of a bitch!!!! He was supposed to erase all those!!! What else do you have? You little pervert!”
blackmail blowjob increases corruption with Todd Dearborn 10%
“Enough to make sure you’ll never be able to show your face at the officer’s club again,” I said, sitting the phone back down. “Now suck it, you know you want to, don’t cha Rita. Don’t cha Rita, don’t cha Rita, you wanna suck it, you wanna suck it.”
“You’re a nut. I’ve got a screwball for a son.”
“Suck him Rita, he’s your buddy, he’s your friend and you know you’ll suck him in the end. You would really hate for Mrs. Whatcom to get one of these photos in her Christmas stocking.”
Rita could just imagine Connie Whatcom saying, ‘So tell me darling, did yer boy take the picture of you suckin’ that big Black cock?’
“Lord forgive me,” was all Rita said before sliding my hard shaft into her mouth.
Oh fuck, I can’t believe she’s doing it. This is so much better than I thought it could be. I wonder if she’s better at it drunk or sober? Never mind, this is fucking awesome!
I can feel the head of my cock pop from her mouth into her throat and she doesn’t gag… at all. How the fuck can she do that? She’s just popping it, in and out, from her mouth to her throat. Oh this is heaven, oh, oh, oh my god, oh shit!
Mom’s a fucking slut! Oh no! My mom’s a fucking slut! Somehow, that thought was enough to put me over the edge. For the briefest of moments, I lost control and pulled her head against my crotch by her dirty blond hair. I started thrusting into her face while I shot my wad down her throat. I could feel my balls spasm against the teeth of my zipper and mom smacking my hands.
“Oh sorry, sorry,” I said, pulling out quickly.
“It’s all right. (gasp) I just needed to breathe. Did you get what you wanted?”
“More than what I could ever hope for, mom.”
“Was that… no. No don’t tell me Todd. That wasn’t that your first blowjob was it?”
Aggie started flashing on the table.
GO NOW
“I’ve got to take this! So, um, enjoy your wine. I’ve got to go!” I said, running out of the room with my wet dick swinging and dripping as I went.
The moment I locked the door behind me, “Aggie, you’re a genius. That worked perfectly!”
Rita Cella corruption with Todd Dearborn 33%
“Thirty-three percent? Yahoo! I thought she was only up to 12, 15 tops.”
guilt multiplier increased corruption by a factor of 2
“So, I can fuck her now, right?”
no
“Oh come on Aggie, how corrupt do I have to get her? I mean, the only person to corrupt mom more than me was that fucktard Wade. And who knows what he made her do?”
Agnon 2K knows