“Judas Goat”
Jay Inkwell
Chapter 2 — Following the leader
The second meeting was essentially the same. Every girl arrived early. No girl wanted to risk losing $100,000 because of a traffic jam. Good food was eaten. Good wine flowed.
Sammi got to know Katina a little. Katina had velvety light chocolate skin. Her black hair of tight curls ran down to below her shoulders. Katina was wearing a gray business skirt suit, with an above-the-knee skirt. She had paired it with a pink blouse. Medium black heels completed her look. Katina hadn’t had any boyfriends yet. She had known too many playas. She did not want to be played. Katina was saving her virginity for marriage. She was unapologetically waiting for “Mr. Right.” Once Katina found him, and became Mrs. Right, Katina planned to give all of herself to him. Katina thought that gaining leadership roles might make it easier for Mr. Right to find her and realize Katina was what he needed. Sammi was dubious about Katina’s plan for husband-finding, but she seemed like a nice girl.
Sammi also talked with Denise. Denise had been born in America but her ancestry was pure Japanese. Her long black hair went halfway down her back. Denise was wearing a yellow midi skirt and white halter top. Her skirt had decorative buttons down its front and a tied white ribbon as its belt. White flats completed her outfit. Like Sammi, Denise was shy. Denise was especially eager to stay out of the limelight. Denise hoped to rise to high positions in business, living a quiet and productive life. Sammi liked Denise. Both Sammi and Denise were struggling to learn how to lead while being both shy and a girl. Sammi suspected they could become good friends. Denise and Sammi seemed to approach life in similar ways.
Judith turned on the screen at precisely 7:30pm. A massive “2” filled the screen. Every girl stared at it. Judith gave her presentation. Every girl watched and listened, simultaneously bored and mesmerized.
Sammi again felt uncomfortable about the presentation. She couldn’t explain what she objected to, though. She couldn’t think of a single point she disagreed with. Yet somehow she wanted to reject everything about the presentation.
Everyone socialized for 30 minutes afterwards.
Sammi discreetly asked the other girls over time what they thought about the presentation. Every girl she asked mentioned it was a little tedious. Each mentioned Judith had warned them it would be tedious. None of the other girls suggested anything about feeling mysterious objections. Sammi decided her feelings were unfounded.
Sammi learned, while socializing, that her instincts had been right about the wine. The wine was expensive. Each bottle cost over $1,000. Sammi had never seen a life like this. She’d always scraped together pennies to make it through college. Sammi deeply wanted to be able to buy such amazing wines, someday, for her guests. She was surprised to discover how much she wanted it. Judith had somehow succeeded. Sammi committed herself to learn all she could from Judith.
Sammi chatted a while with Cindy. Cindy was a beautiful brunette with brown eyes and slightly tanned skin. Cindy wore a long-sleeve button-down white shirt with vertical pinstripes. She had tucked the shirt into a pair of dark jeans. Nearly-flat red pumps completed her outfit. Sammi vaguely remembered Cindy wearing a similar outfit last week. Cindy, like Sarah, was in a long-term relationship. Cindy and her boyfriend had had a rocky relationship for their first few years. They almost broke up a year ago. Cindy admitted that the basic problem was that they had both been stubborn. Instead of breaking up, they’d worked hard to talk through their issues.
The storms of the relationship between Cindy and her boyfriend had tempered it like steel. They had now built an unbreakable relationship. For the last full year they’d been deliriously happy. They were happier together now than either of them could have ever imagined. They now fiercely defended each other and helped each other. Cindy said she thought the secret to her long-term relationship with her boyfriend was being loyal and honest to each other. Cindy said she didn’t want to judge others harshly, but she thought easy girls were foolish and hurting themselves. “Pick one good man and stick with him” was her parting thought.
The girls also learned more about Judith’s personal life. Judith and her boyfriend had been together for five years. The girls quizzed Judith in detail. Every girl needed to know everything about Judith’s boyfriend and their relationship. The discussion turned salacious. The girls felt the electric feeling of learning juicy secrets from a gossip motherlode.
Judith described her boyfriend as successful, handsome, and sexy. Judith made it clear that her sex life with her boyfriend was frequent, adventurous, vigorous, and fantastic. The couple had hundreds of sex toys and enjoyed them thoroughly. They lived together in their co-owned mansion. They had a game where every quarter they tried to eventually fuck at least once in each room. Their front living room, with its extraordinary fine art and massive windows, was an especially naughty place for their trysts. When they fucked there, they made a point of doing it in the nude in the middle of the day. They both felt the delicious excitement of risking getting caught. Judith made it clear she lived a confident life full of wealth and sex. Every girl became even more envious of Judith. Every girl wanted to live like Judith did.
Judith also shared her philosophy. She said, “You need to figure out what you want, how to get it or keep it, and completely dedicate yourself to it. Almost everyone fails, because almost everyone takes half-hearted steps or plays it safe. Playing it safe is playing to lose. One you know what you want, figure out the costly steps to make it happen, and make it happen.”
All the girls nodded. Judith said it with passion. Yet it sounded like another boring platitude. Her autobiography had said the same. They’d all read her autobiography. This was the advice they expected.
Judith continued, “You aren’t getting it. I’ll give you a practical example. Let’s say you have a boyfriend. Let’s say you want to keep him. You need to think about his desires if you want to keep him. It’s no secret what men want. They want sex. If you haven’t figured this out by now, I don’t know how I can help you. If he’s a valuable man, many beautiful women will be offering sex to him. Often. Society likes to say a good man would never be tempted, but really, that’s a stupid passive approach to life. If you don’t think he’ll be tempted, you’re kidding yourself. The best men always have temptations dangled in front of them. If he’s tempted enough, he might cheat or move on. Shouldn’t you be taking initiative if you want to keep what you want? Don’t be passive about the things you care about.”
The girls quizzically looked at each other.
Judith explained, “Let me spell it out for you. Do you want to keep your boyfriend? Make it clear to him that he can ask for sex any time he wants. Make sure he’ll enthusiastically get sex from you every time he asks. Nature gave you three holes, so tell him he can pick the holes he wants to use each time. Focus on maximizing his pleasure. If you focus on making him happy, trust me, you’ll be happy too.”
All the girls except Kathy were embarrassed.
Katina, the virgin, never wanted to talk about sex in a group she didn’t know well. Katina wanted to talk about sex privately with her future Mr. Right, not here with other girls she was still getting to know. Katina did a little social distancing, while staying in the room. Katina hoped the conversation would soon switch to a different topic.
Sammi and Denise were instinctively shy when talking about such private matters. They were a little caught off guard when Judith talked so brazenly about offering sex to boyfriends.
Sarah and Cindy were the girls with boyfriends. They were especially embarrassed. This conversation suddenly seemed to be focused on them. They didn’t prefer this unexpected group spotlight focusing on and judging their sex lives. Especially a conversation that suggested they might not be doing what they should be doing as girlfriends.
Kathy thought this conversion, and the other girls’ embarrassment from it, was hilarious. She gleefully replied, “Yeah, I’d figured that out about men a long time ago. I decided years ago I’m not going to make the compromises necessary to keep a man. I’m not a dyke, either, so that’s out. Mr. Vibrator and I spend frequent times together. He makes me feel awesome every time. He never stops before I’m ready. He never cheats. He never moves on. He never demands anything from me except a recharge. I recommend every girl find herself a Mr. Vibrator! Give up on the men.”
The other girls were even more embarrassed. They turned towards Kathy and collectively rolled their eyes at her.
Sarah turned back to Judith. Sarah felt there something wrong about this. She felt she had to defend herself. She haltingly said, “isn’t that kind of... transactional?”
Judith laughed. “See, this is exactly the kind of nonsense society feeds you. Feminism is about female empowerment. You have to use that power or it’s wasted on you. Don’t passively hope that what you want is going to appear or stay. If you want to get or keep something, doing nothing special is the worst thing you can do. Unicorns don’t walk into your house and stay there for you, girl. Be active. Commit to what you care about. Make it happen. Passive girls throw away their lives.”
The girls looked at each other. Each wondered. Wasn’t this going too far? Wouldn’t giving their bodies to boyfriends, in trade for being their boyfriends, make them whores? Wouldn’t it make them sluts? If they were giving their bodies in exchange for love, was it love? The girls felt confused and uncertain. Judith pressed her point.
“You need to figure out what you want, how to get it or keep it, and completely dedicate yourself to it. You think halfway measures are safe, because society says so. Society is wrong. Halfway measures are easier, not safer. Halfway measures are riskier. Decide what you want to get. Commit. Decide what you want to keep. Commit. Take action. Do this in all of your life. For example, I make sure my boyfriend’s happy. Whenever he wants sex, he always gets sex from me, immediately. In any way he wants it, in every hole he wants it. As a result, he’s happy with me! Doesn’t that make sense? If you want to keep a boyfriend, take serious actions to keep him. Let him know your body is his to take. You’ll light an awesome fire, I promise you.”
Sammi was embarrassed by this line of thinking. She didn’t like it. She wanted to object. Sammi couldn’t see any flaw in Judith’s logic, though. Judith was experienced. She had a history of demonstrated success. She had kept a boyfriend for years. This was more than Sammi could say. In their short time together all the girls had come to really like and trust Judith. The girls were uncomfortable with this line of reasoning. They’d never heard someone they trusted forcefully express ideas like these.
The girls, especially Sarah and Cindy, found themselves with a lot to think about.