Good Idea
Chapter 2: Mall Mayhem
We arrived at the mall, and I looked for an opportunity to test things. If I was wrong or crazy, things could go very sideways, and I didn’t want to end up in prison or worse. We entered an upscale clothing store, and I saw a middle-aged, conservatively-dressed woman looking for a sweatshirt. I took a deep breath to psych myself up.
“Hey, lady,” I said, tapping her on the shoulder. “You’re a fucking whore.”
She seemed angry at first, spinning around to tell me off...but then she saw me. And she smiled. “Oh. Heh, I suppose I should dress a bit nicer.” She turned back to her sweatshirts.
Observation 1: She didn’t say “good idea”. That must just be one of Kelsey’s personal quirks.
Observation 2: She seemed to think it was a good idea for me to tell her that, because she agreed, even though we all knew she was anything but a whore.
Observation 3: She didn’t think it was a good idea until she saw me. I didn’t know if that meant people had to see me for this to work, or if they just had to know it was my idea. I’d test that later.
For now, I was emboldened by the first test. If I could get away with my friend deep-throating me, and with calling a random preppy grandma a whore, could I get away with anything? The only way to know for sure would be to push the boundaries, which meant getting into some tests that were both illegal and morally ambiguous.
Kelsey and I walked into a video game shop. I grabbed a $50 game without checking the title and brandished it towards the sales clerk on my way out the door. “I think I’ll just take this one today. On the house.”
The clerk smiled at me. “Okay, sir. Have a nice day!”
“So it’s true,” I mumbled to myself as we left the store and I tossed the game into the nearest trash can.
“What’s true?” Kelsey asked. I jumped a bit; I was so lost in thought and experiment, and she’d been so quiet, I had forgotten she was there for a moment.
“I think...I’m pretty sure I can do anything I want.”
“Well, sure you can, buckaroo, and if you try your best, you might get a gold star, too!” She giggled at her mockery.
“No, I mean it. Like...anything. Whatever I want, even if someone else would get in shit-loads of trouble for it, I can do it without repercussions.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“I’ll prove it to you.” I reached down and pulled off her baby tee so that she was standing there in the middle of the mall in her bra. She just kept her eyebrow raised, but didn’t react otherwise.
“And you’re not even upset. Not trying to get the shirt back. Nothing; no repercussions.”
“Well, duh, you idiot. Why would there be repercussions? I know you hate when I say it, but it was a good idea.”
“Why was it a good idea for me to take your shirt off in public?” I challenged. I really wanted to know what was going on in everyone’s minds to justify this.
“Because...I mean, it’s...I don’t know. It just is! Not everything needs a reason, you dork.”
And that was all I needed to hear. She didn’t have a reason, but she didn’t need one. I assumed that’s what was going through everyone’s mind. The sweatshirt lady probably thought, “I don’t know why I’m a whore, but it’s a good thing he told me!” The game shop cashier probably thought, “I don’t know why it’s okay for him to steal that game, but it’s a good thing he is!” They didn’t need reasons, as long as they knew I was right. About everything.
As one final test, I walked up to a random twenty-something sitting at a table in the food court and, without warning, shoved my tongue down her throat while grabbing one breast in each hand. I wasn’t even into the sex of it at that point, I was just thinking about the science. She leaned into the kiss and didn’t resist, even when I squeezed a bit too hard and she shrieked. When I broke the tongue wrestling, she smiled and continued eating her burger like nothing unusual had happened.
I could have continued testing boundaries and using Kelsey as a sexual object, but the hormones were lower now, and I was able to see a much more empathetic use of this gift. I turned back to her. “Come on, Kelsey. Put your shirt back on; I’m taking you out to eat at La Pantalla!”
“Ooh, dinner and a movie! That sounds great! How can you afford that place, though?” She asked me the question without once slowing her step as she followed the guidance of my hand on hers, replacing her pink top with the other hand.
“I can afford anything now,” I mumbled to myself. I don’t think she heard.