This story is true. Only the facts have been changed to protect the easily bored.
First Time
CHAPTER FIVE
I found myself in a place I didn’t know. The hallways led me down into the dark.
A door opened in front of me, and I entered a small room with dim grey walls. At first I was sure I was alone, but then out of nowhere stepped ... someone else.
I didn’t recognise him at first. He seemed very solid, very ‘real’. Inside, I suddenly had the conviction that it was Bill, but what I saw was completely wrong.
What stood in front of me was a large, muscled man. He was barechested and had dragons tattooed on both forearms. His head was shaved at the sides, with a strip of very short hair down the centre. He was wearing trousers and boots that somehow looked military.
He moved toward me, and I was frozen. I was scared and excited at the same time.
He reached out his arms and placed his hands on my shoulders. His face was leaning in toward me, and I knew he was going to kiss me. From the corner of my eye, I could see his tattoos writhing, and what I thought were dragons became snakes, and were crawling off his arms.
I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t. His lips were getting closer, and I wanted the kiss. The snakes were rearing up and preparing to bite me.
I don’t know which came first, the kiss or the penetration of the snakes, but just at that moment I woke up.
I was covered in sweat, and there was cum on the sheets.
It took me a while to catch my breath.
What the hell was that about? Was that really Bill in the dream? Then why did he look so different? Was my subconscious trying to tell me something? Why was he the one in control instead of me?
I sort of recognised the image of the guy from a movie I had seen where I thought the Russian soldier looked incredibly sexy.
For the first time I realised that I wasn’t just playing a fun teenage game, but that I was dealing with something a lot more important.
My first impulse was to call Bill and cancel the meeting, but I couldn’t have, even if I wanted to. He was at the game and I couldn’t reach him. Over the morning I swung between hyper-excitement and absolute dread. I felt I had chosen a path that was going to lead me to somewhere amazing. But I was really, really scared.
One o’clock finally came ‘round, and Bill was there. Any resolutions I had made to back off or quit disappeared, as I saw him in the doorway, showered and fresh from the playing field.
“Hiya. Got here as fast as I could.” Bill smiled at me as we moved up to my bedroom.
“That’s okay. I was just doing hanging around anyway.”
We got to my room, and, to my amazement, he started pulling off his shirt. He sat there on the bed, half-naked, and started stroking his cock through his jeans.
For a second, the image of the dream Bill was superimposed over this real boy. Although there were major differences, I was hit by the realisation that I could change this boy in front of me. I could turn him into anything I wanted.
Did I want some big strong soldier-like guy who was going to make love to me? Or did I want a slave, someone whom I could control and force to do my bidding? Did I want him to be gay? Could I make him gay?
I was lost in thought as he chattered about his performance in that morning’s game. Finally he could wait no longer as the hypnotic compulsion overrode his sense of what was ‘right’ for teenage boys to talk about.
“I did what you said,” he started. “Last night I jerked off using my left hand. It took bloody ages, though, and felt awkward.”
“How long did it take?” I asked.
“’Bout three quarters of an hour. My cock felt sore, but it felt good when I came.”
“And what about this morning?”
“That was the hard part. I had to stay in bed until I finished, but it took me ages. I finally came and had to run to get to the game in time. Are you sure I have to do it with my left hand?”
“Yeah, it’s important. I’ve been doing some research, and there are things you’ve gotta do with your right.”
“Like what?”
“Like yanking your balls,” I said.
“What? Sounds weird to me.”
“Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”
“Okay.” He gave me a good smile and settled back on the bed. He was still stroking himself, and the outline of his hardening cock pushed against the denim.
“Do you want to show me what you were doing so I can see if you got it right.”
“Sure,” he said, and squirmed out of his jeans. He started stroking his now free shaft, and I could see he was having trouble with getting the same rhythm with his other hand. Although I made him change hands on a whim, I decided to keep it in place, merely to maintain my control.
“Now, just start playing with your balls with your right hand.”
Bill’s eyes almost fluttered open as he moved from his fantasy to moving his hand. Again, he was obviously awkward at first, like patting your head and rubbing your stomach.
But he did settle down to a rhythm, and soon was groaning slightly as he picked up the pace.
Although it was great seeing him jerking off on the bed, I needed more control. I put him under.
His hands stopped moving, and his cock started drooping as he sank into his trance.
“Bill, can you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“You were doing really well there. I think you’re doing real good.”
He smiled, obviously happy to recieve any praise.
“From now on, you always use your left hand for stroking your dick, and your right hand for tugging on your balls. I know it’ll be difficult at first, but this is what you must do. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“Now, in a minute you’ll wake up and continue jerking off. However, I want you to keep your eyes open and watching me. You need to see my face so you’ll know if you’re doing everything right.”
“Mmmph.”
You need to watch me, because I’m your coach. Watching me will be easy. You might feel embarrassed at first, but it is really important. Do you understand?”
“Yeah. Must watch you.”
“That’s right. And while you’re watching me, I’ll be talking to you, and you’ll like that. I’ll tell you to slow down or speed up, and you must do exactly what I say.”
“Yeah.”
“And when I tell you to come, you’ll feel your balls swelling and you’ll feel the pressure, and you will come. You won’t be able to stop or control it. When I tell you to come, you will come.”
“I will come.”
“And when you come on my command, it will feel ten times better than anything else you’ve ever felt. Coming when I tell you to will always feel better than doing it on your own.”
“...better...”
“The sound of my voice will make jerking off feel better. When I tell you to come, you will, and it will feel absolutely fantastic. Do you understand exactly what you will do?”
“Yes.”
“Then, as I count to three, you’ll be more and more awake ...” I brought him slowly out of the trance, and his hands started pumping his cock again.
Instead of closing his eyes and fantasising, he now flicked between watching his dick and looking at me. He renewed his efforts at tugging his balls and stroking his cock.
“That’s it, but just slow down some.” He obligingly eased up on his rubbing.I was loving the way he was looking at me for approval.
“Now, speed up. And start rubbing those balls around.” He really started working on his dick. He was breathing hard now. I figured I could keep him going for a long while, but I was eager to see if he would follow the last command.
“You’re doing great, Bill. Now, get ready to come!” He kept trying to close his eyes as he felt the pressure build up, but was forced to keep them open to look at me.
“Come!”
With this command, he really exploded. The cum shot out in a long stream that landed on his chest. It kept pumping until it was a puddle on his pubic hair. He let out a big sigh.
“Wow! That was bloody great!” He just lay there, naked and spattered. I needed some release, so I put him under again.
CHAPTER SIX
“Bill, did you enjoy that?”
“Yeah.”
“It was the best jerk-off session you’ve ever had, isn’t it?”
“Hell, yeah!”
“And it was all because of me. Because I was with you, because I was helping you, it was great. It will never be as good when you’re alone or with somebody else. Only I can make you feel this good. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“Why was it so good?”
“Because you helped me. You made it good.”
“That’s right,” I said. “I know it was hard for you to look at me while you were doing it, but that helped make it good. Looking at me will make you feel even hornier than you normally do. Looking at me, or even thinking of me while you jerk off only makes it feel better. Understand?”
“Yes.” He lay there naked with his cum drying on his chest, his hands loosely draped around his cock and balls.
“Now, to be really good at something, you have to work a lot, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You need to practice to get better. That is true, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“And you want to get better at jerking yourself off, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Then it is important to practice. But since you’ve just come, you can’t practice on yourself. So you are going to beg me to let you jerk me off, so you can get better. Understand?”
“Yeah ...”
“Listen carefully, Bill. You need to practice to get better, so that you can be the best. I want you to be the best, so that’s why I’m helping you, right?”
“Right.”
“You like me. We’re very best friends. You like me more than anyone else you’ve ever met. You are grateful to me for coaching you and helping you get better. Right?”
“Right.”
“So, you are going to offer to jerk me off, so you can get better, and also to thank me for helping you. I’m going to resist a bit, so you’ll have to really beg me to let you do it. Can you do that?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Even in trance, he still had his social conditioning to overcome.
“You will do it. It doesn’t mean you’re gay, or I’m gay. It’s just like helping any guy out. You know, rubbing their leg if they get a cramp, or helping them practice their game. This is just two friends helping each other out. Okay?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s better. Now, I’m going to wake you up. You’ve just had the best jerk off session ever, and now you want to do it again with me. Three ... you are waking up ... two ... you are coming back into the room ...”
I watched him as his eyes slowly focused. He had a huge grin on his face as he remembered what he had just done. Being naked in front of me didn’t bother him, but he was asking for something to wipe off the cum.
As he cleaned himself up, he couldn’t help but talk about what just happened.
“Jeez, that was bloody brilliant! I thought my balls were going to explode. I’ve never had one like that before in my life!”
I agreed and said it looked good from where I was sitting.
“Let me do you now,” he said, reaching for my groin. Even though I wanted it (hell, I set it up) my knee-jerk reaction was to pull away.
“C’mon. It’ll be great. I need to practice, and I won’t be able to touch my dick for an hour.” He started wheedling and drew his naked body closer. I was still on the chair as he sidled along the bed.
“Look, I’m not gay or anything. I just want to practice using my left hand, and you’ve got the only other dick in the room.”
I stood up.
“Okay, but you’ve got to be careful, alright?”
“Sure!”
I lowered my jeans and briefs, and my dick started stiffening. He hesitantly reached out for it and started fondling it gently. He soon picked up a rhythm, and once again his eyes flicked from my cock to my face to see how I was reacting.
I moved to sit on the bed next to him, and we rearranged ourselves so he could get the best grip.
I gave him a few directions, but he seemed to get the hang of it. It was so amazing to have another guy’s hands on my dick, it made it absolutely clear that I was gay. It just felt so natural.Every now and then Bill would look at me and smile, as if he knew the pleasure that I was feeling.
When I did come, it was with the same explosion that Bill had just experienced. I ended up spraying in an arc, as Bill was still pumping and moving my dick back and forth. Some of it landed on his face and hair, as well as on my shirt and pillow.
“Aw, jeez, what a mess!” Although he had been opened up to jerking me off, I hadn’t made any provision for the aftermath. He stood up and looked down at the cum on his body, reluctant to touch another guy’s cum, but needing to clean it off.
That’s when I realised that his own dick was soft.
Throughout that whole session, he really had seen it as a friend helping another friend. There had been nothing sexual about it at all. After the joy of ejaculation, I suddenly felt more than empty.
“I’ve gotta go and clean this off! Jeez!”
I dropped him back into trance and had him stand there as my cum dripped down his cheek and chest while I thought about what had happened, and what I was going to do.
Did I want to make him gay? As turned on by me as I was by him? Or did I want him straight, a stud that I could control?
What if he was gay? I didn’t have enough self esteem to think that he would stay with me without the hypnosis. He would probably seek out some great muscled guy like himself.
I tried to imagine him as my ‘boyfriend’, holding me tight and kissing me and telling me he loved me.
Then I imagined him in his team uniform, kneeling before me and licking my cock while he jerked himself off.
I didn’t know what I wanted.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I couldn’t leave him standing there.
“Bill, can you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“That was really good. You enjoyed jerking me off. It was good to practice, and you enjoyed making me happy. You like making your best friend happy.”
“Yeah.”
You know you have my cum all over you?”
“Yeah,” he grimaced.
“Listen carefully, Bill. My cum is great. It smells really sexy, it feels really sexy on your body, and it tastes better than anything else.”
He didn’t respond.
“Bill, my cum is great, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“I want you to get some on your finger and smell it for me.”
He wiped his finger through a gob on his chest and brought it to his nose.
“It smells great. It smells sexy and strong. You love the smell, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” He breathed in deeply, focusing on the scent.
“Now put it in your mouth. It tastes fantastic as well. It tastes like sex, and you love it, don’t you?”
“Yeah!” He licked his finger.
“You love my cum. You can try yours later, and it tastes okay, but mine is terrific. You’d love to rub it all over your body. You’d love to drink a gallon of it. You’d love to soak your pillow in it so you can smell it all night. Understand?”
“Yeah.”
I then woke him up.
“Jeez, look what you did to me!” It took a few seconds for the new instructions to kick in, but then Bill started changing his attitude.
At first he touched it, then took some between his fingers and rubbed it around. Then he tentatively brought it to his nose and smelled it. Finally, he flicked out his tongue and tasted it.
“Hey, man, that’s gross,” I said, feigning horror.
“Actually, it’s not that bad.” He licked his fingers clean then scooped up some more. “You know, you should bottle this! The chicks would be lining up for miles!”
Well, that was about it for that Sunday afternoon. He eventually got dressed and after a bit more teenage talk, he left. I told him to keep working with his left hand on his dick and his right hand on his cock, and I’d see him around school. He reminded me that our friendship was a secret, so if he ignored me it was to keep up appearances.
I arranged to meet him on Tuesday afternoon behind the library again, and then he left.
I lay down on the bed (after changing the pillow case) and thought of what happened.
What was I doing, and why was I doing it. I now knew for certain I was gay, but was this control thing part of being gay, or something different.
I reached under the bed and pulled out my most precious possession.
I had found it by the side of the river one afternoon. It was a magazine that had been dropped there and was stained by the weather. Normally I don’t pick up trash while I’m walking, but this time was different.
This was a gay magazine!
Now, I was too young to go into an adult bookstore, and back then there was nothing on the newsagent’s shelves. I’d probably be too shit scared to buy it anyway.
But fate had dropped this in my path, and I had run home and slowly set to work.
Some of the pages were stuck together after being wet, and there was dirt on the covers. But with the infinite patience of an archeologist, I cleaned and scraped and got it back to as near perfect as I could.
Some pages were ruined, but the rest was amazing. Everything I knew about ‘gayness’ came from this cheap, out-of-date pornography.
There were two things that interested me now, though.
One was a full page picture. The rest of the article was missing, but this picture was clear. It showed a young, teenage boy, dressed in the top half of an American Football players uniform—you know, the big shoulder pads and the number on the front. He had some white elastic around his groin, but it did nothing to hid his long, hard dick.
He was kneeling down and looking up at some guy you couldn’t see, because the camera was behind him. The young boy had a look of expectation in his eyes, and you knew he was just waiting to get a look at the other guy’s cock. Maybe in the next photo you saw the cock and the boy start to lick it—I don’t know.
Anyway, the look of submissiveness on the boy’s face was arousing, as he stared up at what might have been the coach or another player. Because it was an old magazine, the boy had longish hair, parted down the middle and brushed back—very seventies.
I could now imagine myself in that picture, with Bill kneeling and me standing powerfully above him. I could even imagine getting Bill to grow his hair like that, and we could rig up a uniform somehow.
This was turning me on, but I skipped to the back pages.
This part of the magazine was a lot more intact, and there was a complete story, in both photos and text. It was all about this young guy from the country (some place in America) who comes to the city and is seduced by the boss. I didn’t like the story, but I loved the photos. It showed this clean cut young guy, white shirt, black tie, brylcreemed hair, slowly being hit on by his boss until the boss gets him naked and straddled across the desk.
The last picture showed the boy, now dressed again and looking respectable, meeting his girlfriend at the office door with a kiss on the cheek while the evil boss looked on.
Once again, I could see me forcing Bill to obey me, while to the rest of the world he was an ordinary, straight guy.
I dozed off with these images in my head, and I think I dreamed again of the Russian soldier, but this time he looked more like Bill.
I think I read somewhere about two roads diverging, and the guy took the one less travelled. I sleepily thought that that was the best choice after all.