New Phone
by Pan
“Damn it,” Jennifer muttered, her brow creased. “Whatever happened to ‘it just works’?”
She’d used Apple products for more than a decade, but ever since upgrading to the newest iPhone, it was as though they’d banded together and decided to rebel. She’d never had so many technical problems as in the past few weeks; it felt like every time she loaded up a device, it found a new way to crap out on her.
“Tyler!”
Her son appeared from behind his bedroom door, wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. At eighteen, he was her de facto tech support. “It happened again,” the middle-aged woman scowled.
Tilting his head to the side, Tyler glanced at the small device in her hand.
“Have you tried turning it off and on again?” he asked, and Jennifer wrinkled up her nose.
“Yes,” she lied. At her son’s glare, she immediately folded. “Fine—no. But that never does anything.”
“Except fix the problem, half the time.”
“Fine,” Jennifer sighed. Holding the button on the side of the phone, she swiped her finger across the bottom to turn it off. At her son’s nod, she went to turn it back on...but the device didn’t respond.
“Oh come on,” she groaned. “I need to make a call!”
“Pass it here,” Tyler instructed, and Jennifer obeyed with a sigh.
After fiddling with it for a few minutes, Tyler moved closer, and gestured for his mother to take it back. As her hand wrapped around her phone, Jennifer couldn’t help but feel like something was different. The device in her hand felt different somehow. Rounder, slightly softer.
“What’s wrong with it?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. Tyler sighed.
“I told you, you need to turn it on.”
“Oh. Right.”
Leaning forward, Jennifer gave the phone a shake. It remained limp in her hand, and her son shook his head.
“You’ll have to try harder than that,” he said gently, and Jennifer sighed. At this rate, she definitely wasn’t going to get to her call in time.
“Fine...”
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and took another tentative grip on the device. She gently ran her hand up and down, hoping to hit the power button—she must have had some luck, because before long she could feel the phone starting to turn on.
For several minute, Jennifer carefully manipulated the Apple product. As she did, she was reminded why she was so loyal to the company—their design. The phone fit so perfectly in her hand, it was like she was built to handle it. She wrapped her fingers around it, enjoying the smooth sensation, and ran her finger across the top of the screen. There was a clear residue; she must’ve been using it while eating.
“You should clean that off,” Tyler said, looking down at her with a smile. “Use your tongue.”
Her eyes widening, Jennifer stared at her son with a confused expression on her face. He shrugged. “Or you can leave it sticky. Up to you.”
“No,” she sighed. “I’d hate for something else to go wrong with this damn thing.”
Tentatively poking out her tongue, Jennifer swept it across her the clear liquid. She couldn’t quite work out what the taste reminded her of, but it wasn’t unpleasant.
“I don’t think you got it all,” Tyler groaned, and his mother was surprised to realize that he was right. She could’ve sworn she’d cleaned every last bit, but there was another small globule, exactly where the first had been.
Leaning forward, Jennifer licked it again. And again. And again. For several minutes, she licked the top of the phone, but as soon as the liquid was cleared, more seemed to appear.
She was so distracted by her task, Tyler had to inform her twice that the phone was turned on before she noticed.
“Thank you!” she smiled up at him. “Do you mind staying here while I make my call? Just in case anything else goes wrong?”
“Not at all,” Tyler replied, gently resting one hand on his mother’s head. “Take as long as you need.”
Jennifer had expected the phonecall to be a quick one, but as she moved her lips to the mouthpiece of the device, she quickly realized that she’d underestimated it. She was on the call for almost fifteen minutes, occasionally swapping the phone from hand to hand.
By the time she could feel it starting to wrap up, her mouth was sore. It was weird; she’d never had a mouth sore just from talking before.
“Almost...done...” Tyler grunted, and she looked up at him, trying to smile with her eyes. He’d been so patient, standing there with his hand on her head, occasionally giving her an encouraging nudge.
Though it hadn’t been a question. Or a demand—her son wasn’t really the demanding type. It had sounded more like warning…perhaps he was telling her that the phone was about to stop working.
She’d have to end things quickly.
Leaning backwards, Jennifer opened her mouth wide and stuck out her tongue, both hands on the phone. This, she knew, would end the call. Tyler began twitching and shaking, and Jennifer’s face suddenly grew warm.
“Sorry that took so long,” she gasped, her eyes closed.
“Not at all,” her son said, panting slightly.
Jennifer wiped her eyes—when she reopened them, sure enough, the phone was no longer turned on. Good thing Tyler had warned her. As she opened her mouth to complain about the unreliable tech, her son surprised her, making a beeline down the hall.
He returned a few moments later, a smile on his face as he offered her a towel. Jennifer cleaned herself up, then noticed her phone sitting beside her on the couch, the screen glowing, notifications alerting her of three missed calls.
“What’s wrong with this thing?” she muttered. It hadn’t alerted her of any of the calls while she’d been using it. With a sigh, she slipped it into her pocket.
“You shouldn’t do that,” her son grimaced.
“What?”
“Keep your phone in your pocket. The radiation, you know.”
Jennifer hesitated. She’d heard about that, but not been sure how seriously to take it. If her son was warning her, however...
“So where do I, um...”
“C’mere,” Tyler said, and Jennifer stepped forward, not objecting as he unbuckled her ‘Mom jeans’ and slid them down her legs.
“Oh!” she gasped, as her son demonstrated an alternative location to carry a device. “I hadn’t thought…I didn’t realize…”
“Fits nicely, doesn’t it?” Tyler grunted, and Jennifer was forced to agree. It may have been buggy as hell, but the phone slotted in so perfectly, felt so good…
“You can take it out and put it back in as many times as you like,” her son showed her. Perhaps he was worried she didn’t understand, because he continued showing her how it worked for several minutes; before long, she was sweating with exertion.
“Do you like that?” Tyler asked with a grin, and Jennifer nodded, not trusting herself to speak. But in response to her silence, he asked the question again, his voice rough and breathy.
“Yessss,” she moaned, as her son inserted the phone again and again. “Oh god, yes. Yes, I love it. I love it, Tyler. Mama loves it…”
At her confession, a shockwave of pleasure hit her body; it was as though every part of her tensed at once, and then all relaxed.
“Oh god,” she panted. “God, yes. I…I love it.”
Her son pulled it out with a smile, and she slithered to the ground like a wet noodle. To her delight, she saw that the phone was still turned on, and her son was looking at her expectantly.
“Are you having any other problems with it?” Tyler prompted, and his mother shook her head.
“Really, Mom? Nothing?”
Jennifer bit her lip. She felt like her body was made of jelly, and her mind was nothing but mush. She’d been having so much trouble with the damn thing lately, but on the spot she couldn’t recall a single issue.
“I know some people are struggling to plug it in,” Tyler suggested, and Jennifer’s eyes lit up.
“Oh, yes!” she said breathily. “Yeah, that’s been a real bear.”
“Let me show you,” Tyler smiled, picking his mother up and turning her to face the wall.
Jennifer shuddered at the way he possessively manhandled her, resting her hands on the wall as Tyler positioned himself behind her.
“You can’t just plug it in,” he explained. “It’s such a tight fit, you’re going to need some lube.”
“What?” she asked. “That doesn’t sound…oh!”
As he’d been speaking, Tyler had coated the phone with lube. Before she could object, he’d pushed forward, gently inserting the cable into the gap at the bottom of the phone.
Jennifer let out a long, loud groan as it slowly, firmly entered. Her son pushed forward slowly, making sure the cable fit just right.
All too often, she’d tried a cable one way, then remove it and try again the other way.
Feeling it slide in perfectly the first time...it was heavenly. She couldn’t remember a more perfect fit.
“How’s that?” he smiled.
“Amazing,” she sighed. “God, Tyler, that feels so good.”
“I can show you again, if you like.”
Jennifer’s toes curled at the thought. A few months earlier, she’d gotten addicted to Reddit—if it wasn’t for the fact that her phone was in use, she’d take a photo of this moment to submit to /r/PerfectFit.
Although, of course it fit. It had been manufactured to. But despite that—or perhaps because Jennifer knew this sensation was the result of careful engineering—it was one of the most satisfying experiences of her life.
“Again,” she begged. “Please.”
Tyler pulled the cable backwards, and Jennifer gasped as he pushed it all the way back in. The first time he’d been so slow, letting her enjoy every moment of the perfect fit; this time, it had been a harsh thrust...but for some reason, it was just as satisfying.
Perhaps more-so.
“Again,” Jennifer gasped, and her son obliged.
The woman’s body shook as she stood, hands against the wall, as her son showed her how to make better use out of the tech she always carried with her. Over and over, he thrust the cable into the charging socket. Each and every time, Jennifer let out a long moan of satisfaction.
“That’s it, Mom. You’re almost done. Just one more push…”
Jennifer nodded, and Tyler inserted the cable again. The phone’s battery must have been close to full—it was almost vibrating with energy.
“Almost there!” he panted, after pushing the cable for what had to be the hundredth time. “Can you feel it?”
Jennifer nodded, lost for words. She could feel the electricity surging through the cable, getting ready to fill the phone with power. The phone was so hungry for it, so desperate to be charged—the middle-aged woman felt a strange empathy for the device as it began to thrum in anticipation.
“Coming!” Tyler repeated, and Jennifer let out a long, primal groan as the charge pulsed into the device, filling it up in a burst of power.
“Oh, god...” she said, her knees buckling at the feeling of electricity filling the phone. She’d never felt anything like it; it was like she herself was the phone, plugged directly into the wall. “Oh, baby, yes! Yes!!”
Tyler’s mother shuddered as he pulled the cable from the socket. She threw him a grateful smile as he stepped away, and she tried not to collapse on the floor once more. It was almost as though the phone being charged had somehow drained her of energy.
“Thank you, Tyler. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem,” he replied with a smile. “Let me know if you have any other problems with it.”
“Just one,” she joked, glancing around. “I seem to have lost it.”
It didn’t make any sense. She’d just finished charging it.
With Tyler’s help, it wasn’t long before the device turned up again—against all logic or reason, it was across the room, sitting on the couch. And despite the fact that Jennifer had just felt it charging up, the icon in the corner indicated it was only at fifteen percent power.
She blinked at the display, bewildered. Technology escaped her.
Good thing she had her son to help.
* * *