The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

December 13th, 2020

They were wheels up a little after five, just around sunset, so they got a gorgeous view of the city sprawling out beneath them, Oakland and the Bay itself just behind them as they started their 2500+ mile flight. Andy had never flown in something so small before, and it felt even stranger to think of it as his plane, even if it was. He was starting to wonder if he should have Rook painted on the side of it, or maybe just a chesspiece of a rook. That might be a bit too supervillain-y, though, he decided. He’d voice the idea to his partners and was sure they’d have a consensus almost immediately about if it was a good idea or not.

But it was his first flight on his plane.

The flight path would take them across twelve states and three time zones, and they wouldn’t be landing until the early hours of the next day, the trip five and half hours, plus the three-hour time differential meaning they would be arriving close to two in the morning local time. Niko and Lexi had been a little worried about that at first, but the first book signing wasn’t until 4 pm, so they’d have plenty of time to sleep and recuperate, so they’d agree they’d find a way to make it work.

The first signing was going to be at one of the landmarks of New York City, the famous Strand Book Store in Greenwich Village. The store had been having some rough times with the pandemic keeping them closed, but they’d made a point to open as soon as their staff was vaccinated, and when Andy’s agent had called to see if they could handle a last-minute book signing, they couldn’t trip over themselves fast enough to say yes.

He was glad they’d gotten the Strand to agree. It was one of the first places he’d gone to visit when he’d made his first trip to New York City oh so many years ago, with their signs that said “Shop Local! Buy Early! Think Indie!” and Andy’s personal favorite, “18 Miles Of Books!” There were plenty of other places he could’ve gone and signed, but the Strand held personal affection for him. He’d never signed there before, but it had been on his bucket list of places he wanted to sign, and the fact that they weren’t just accepting of his presence but eager made it all the better. They’d immediately started calling the radio and television stations, publicizing the event, and they were hoping for a good turnout.

The plane was somewhere over the Nevada desert when Fiona and Piper came over to stand next to him. He’d brought his laptop along for the trip and had been trying to get some writing done, but some thirty minutes into the air, it seemed like a portion of the RFC had plans for him. “Hey Andy, whatcha doin’?” Fiona said in a playful singsong voice that made him suspiciously look up at them.

Most of the girls had dressed very casually for travel, with both Fi and Piper in yoga pants and a big baggy T-shirt they’d stolen from his closet. The ladies of the RFC had figured out extremely early on that Andy loved seeing them in his shirts, and so they were always stealing from his seemingly endless collection of band t-shirts. The only condition was that they needed to be able to name a song from any band whose shirt they stole, which was a great excuse to expand the girls’ musical repertoire as well. Piper had on his only Jesus Jones t-shirt, while Fi was dressed in one of his many Fury In The Slaughterhouse t-shirts. Fi had her hair swept back and tucked behind her ears with a barrette, and Piper had a lazy ponytail that was off to one side like she was an 80s aerobics fitness instructor.

“Trying to get started on the next Gunslinger book,” he said, a smirk on his lips. He could already sense where this was heading based on the look on Fiona’s face. “Drew the high card, did you, love?”

“I did,” Fi said with her trademark charm. “But we were all talking back in the back half of the plane about how we wanted to do this, and we’ve decided it’s going to be a trio experience each time, with one of us joining the Mile High Club and another assisting, essentially ‘who’s got next,’ so we all get a little bit more comfortable playing together as a team.”

Andy’s face tried to go as blank as it could. “You’re suggesting turning the Mile High Club into, what, a team building exercise? Like trust falls and shit?”

“Exactly! We all need to get used to splitting our time, not only with you but also with each other, and that means we all need to get out of our comfort zones a bit. We’re gonna work you over in pairs, and we drew cards to determine the order,” Fi said with a smirk as she held up her card. “Queen of Hearts, if you can believe it. I swear, Ash would’ve accused me of stacking the deck if I’d been holding it, but I drew from the deck blind like everyone else.”

“So you’re second on deck then, Piper? Jack of Diamonds turned out to be strong enough to get you on deck? No aces?”

“Nary an ace to be seen,” Piper giggled. “Fi’s first, then me, then Niko with a Jack of Clubs, Ash with a Seven of Hearts, Sarah with a Five of Hearts, Moira with a Four of Diamonds and Em’s last in line with Two of Diamonds. But it means everyone’s mixing it up, getting a little fun and freaky with someone they haven’t really spent all that much time with.”

“Fun and freaky?”

“We need to all be willing to adapt to each other, and that means being comfortable with each other in any state, especially naked and intimate,” Fiona said.

“I thought you said you weren’t sure about dabbling with other women, Piper,” Andy said to her. “You don’t have to do an—”

Piper reached over and slipped her hand on the back of Fiona’s neck, pulling her lips to her own, a surprised blip of noise from Fiona before she sort of melted into the kiss, the two tangling tongues for a long moment. Fiona seemed caught off guard but was clearly getting into the groove of it, sliding her own hand up and into Piper’s hair before the two finally broke from their kiss, as Piper looked at Andy like the cat that had eaten the canary. “I think we need to tell Phil there’s pretty solid evidence that their serum will open women’s minds wide to the idea of bisexuality, because I can’t even begin to tell you how fucking hot that just made me,” Piper purred. “I can’t wait to devour her from head to toe, to feel her squirming under my touch.”

Fiona feigned waving her hand in front of her face to fan her. “Oh, now that had a lot more spice on it than it did in rehearsal,” she said with an almost youthful giggle. “Anyway, all the ladies of the RFC want to play doubles with you, so we decided this would be a great way to start.”

“Mmmm. Well, Niko and Ash are more than a little familiar with getting intimate with each other, but I think the rest of the pairings’ll be pretty new,” Andy admitted. “And you’re comfortable with getting frisky with Niko as well, Piper?”

The tall athlete blushed a little bit and nodded shyly. “She’s like a little fireplug of sexuality, Andy, with an ass that just. Will. Not. Quit. I can’t wait to just go buck wild and embrace this new side of me. I need to crack me off a piece of all the other girls I’m gonna be sharing my life with.”

“Hey, I’m not one to tell any of you ladies no when it comes to stuff like this. How do you want me?”

“The three of us are going to go to the back of the plane while everyone else comes to the front, so we can have a bit of privacy,” Fiona told him. “We really should look into having a divider set up, just so that if some of us want to sleep on a flight, we’ve got the room and space to do it without forcing the rest of the plane into dead silent mode.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Andy chuckled. “I didn’t really much think about it, but I guess since it’s our plane, we can do what we want to with it.”

“Well, what we want to do with it now is have some fucking fun, Andy,” Piper giggled, pulling him up out of his chair.

Andy put his laptop snugly into its case and set the case on the table before Piper kept tugging him towards the back of the plane, Fiona behind him pushing one hand against his shoulders. Once they got to the rear section, the women who were sitting there—Em, Sarah and Ash—got up and let Piper tug Andy to sit down on the center of the couch.

“You got this Piper?” Ash said with a sly smile. “Thought I heard Fi whimper a little upfr—”

Piper suddenly reached over and pulled Ash’s face to hers, locking lips with the diminutive redhead who gasped a moment at first before dripping into the kiss, her hands sliding along the tall athlete’s waist. They broke the kiss a moment or so later as Piper grinned almost challengingly to Ash. “I decided I’m all in, so I’m gonna be all in, Ash.” Piper reached down and goosed the Irish woman’s ass, which only made Aisling giggle, rolling her eyes a little.

“Great, just bloody great,” Aisling teased. “She’s gone from shy wallflower to full charge fun-time slut.”

Piper leaned down and nibbled on Aisling’s ear while whispering loud enough for everyone in the back of the plane to hear, “You know you fucking love it, don’t you?”

Andy was surprised to see Aisling blush as much as she did when she was pulling from Piper’s grasp, but he still caught her nodding with a wry smile that he suspected only he and Piper saw. “Okay, ladies,” Ash said, wrangling the rest of them. “Everyone not involved in the funtime, up to the front of the plane.”

“I don’t suppose I could linger a smidge and watch?” Emily asked.

Piper reached over and swatted Em on the ass with a solid spank, as the tiny actress giggled furtively and scurried forward toward the fore section, followed by Ash and Sarah, although Sarah lingered just long enough to say, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t fucking do, although I don’t really know what that would be, because I’ll—” She was still talking when Em and Ash both reached back to grab a wrist apiece and pull her away from the back.

“You just sit there and let us work,” Fiona said. Andy hadn’t gotten especially dressed up either. Even when he was doing book signings, he didn’t get too decked out, dressed in his usual jeans and a t-shirt. Fi and Piper weren’t going to take too much time with foreplay this time, tugging his cock out as they flanked him on either side of the couch, leaning their heads down to press their lips on either side of his shaft, kissing each other around his prick while they let their tongues smother his flesh.

As much as they clearly enjoyed making him squirm while they were blowing him, Fiona didn’t want to wait too much, and stood up before tugging her yoga pants only down far enough to her mid thighs before scooting back and just sliding herself up and onto his dick, her head leaning back as she let out a soft moan. “God, Andy, you always feel like… home…”

Andy could understand why there was a bit of thrill in this, being high in the sky, as Fiona shimmied up and down on his cock, her ass bouncing in his lap, as Piper leaned in and kissed him, her fingertips dragging firmly against the back of his neck. One of his hands held on to Fiona’s hip as Piper took his other hand and pushed it down the front of her yoga pants, sliding two of his fingers up inside of her pussy.

He wanted to savor the experience for as long as he could, but with Piper’s lips locked onto his own and Fiona’s weight bucking against him, he felt his release filling up Fiona’s cunt much faster than he would’ve liked, but thankfully, his orgasm set off her own, as it always did, and she leaned back against him, nestling her face against his neck as Piper’s lips finally broke from the kiss. “Remember, I got next,” Piper said to him.

“And Niko’s gonna make you squirm when you do,” Fiona purred.

There wasn’t a shower on the plane, but the three of them took turns using the sink to wipe down a little bit before making their way back into the main compartment of the plane, where Moira immediately high-fived Fiona, who had a sly grin on her face. “How was it, love?” Moira asked her.

“I don’t know if it’s the fact that we’re so high up or if it the feeling that we’re basically doing it in public, but it is a rush,” Fiona giggled, slumping down in a chair.

Things got quiet for a bit after that, with most of them watching movies on their various laptops. It was when they were somewhere over Nebraska that Andy’s phone rang, routed through the plane’s Wi-Fi. He chuckled a little bit, stood up and walked into the back of the plane as he took his first airborne phone call.

“Hey Trish, what’s up?” he said, having seen it was his agent on the caller ID.

“How set is your schedule tomorrow?”

“Well, the signing is set for 6, and I think it’s going to run about three hours, why?”

“If I needed you to do it from two to five instead, could you?”

Andy laughed, because he could sense there was a nervous excitement on the other end of the phone. “Trish, if there’s something you want me to do inst—”

“The Late Show With Stephen Colbert wants you to come by and do an interview. You and any of your partners who want to stop in. But they’d need you to be at their studio by 6:30-7 at the latest.”

“Are you kidding?” Andy said in amazement. “They want me?”

“Well, they want Em and Sarah, I think, but they also want you. It would be a nice easy conversation, unlike the long form interview with 60 Minutes, or the ones you’ve done since then,” Trish told him. “I think it’d be a good move, even if it’s just you. They don’t really have much turnout in terms of in-studio audience, so it’s in line with what you’re wanting to do in terms of giving good promotion, and they’ve got plenty of security, so it should be safe.”

“And if none of the girls wanted to do it? If it was just me, would they balk?”

“Nope, Stephen seems to think you’d be a great interview to have, even if it’s just you, and it would certainly get more people to turn out for your little signing tour. Can I tell them yes?” Trish’s voice was so heavily layered with eagerness, he didn’t want to tell her no. “I don’t ask for a lot from you, but this is one opportunity I think I’d have to strangle you if you didn’t want to take. Besides, I know you love Colbert. You were always asking what it would take to get him to invite you on. Now you know. So please, let me tell them yes.”

“Trish, you know I’m a fan of the guy. Of course, I’m going to let you say yes. We’ll get a little less sleep than originally intended, but sometimes you must move things around and make them work because the opportunity’s too good to pass up. I’ll get it set up on our end so we’re in and out of the hotel and the signing to make it to the Ed Sullivan Theater on time to get through make up and hop into the interview. You think you can do the prep work for them, so they have a baseline of whatever they want to know?”

“You know Stephen,” Trish told him. “He’s going to be eager to talk to you about a whole bunch of things. They want you and the rest of your Team to be the only guests for an entire show. They’ll have a very long interview with you and anyone else on your Team who wants to be part of it, so let the ladies know if they want to talk a bit, they just need to show up.”

“I’ll run it past them but tell Colbert’s people to expect at least a handful of the ladies are going to want to show up with me,” Andy said. “Anything else I should know about the tour dates?”

“Everything’s set up, and I sent Lexi the full list, as well as sending it over to that new General friend of yours,” she said, clearly trying to get him off the phone so she could call the television people. “Call me after the taping so I can hear how it went! Knock’em dead!”

Andy shook his head with a smile. He’d long ago learned not to take it personally when Trish hung up on him before they were actually done talking; she’d always been the first one to get out of any conversation if she felt like she had other things that needed doing. He walked up back towards the front of the plane and had a wry smirk on his face. “Anyone want to do The Late Show?” he said with a chuckle as he moved to take the one open seat, Sarah immediately climbing into his lap, kissing him.

“I’m fucking in! He’s always been super fucking nice to me.”

“I’ll go along as well, Andrew,” Emily said, sitting in the chair across from him. “It won’t hurt for us to reinforce the image of the family.”

“No way in hell you’re keepin’ me off the telly,” Aisling said with a playful grin. “Niko’s flyin’ right now, but I’m sure she’ll say the same.”

“We’ll all go do it, yeah?” Piper asked, only for the rest of the women to nod in agreement.

For the next few hours, people retreated to their devices, although Aisling and Andy moved back to the couch in the back to continue their slow watch of “Farscape,” with Sarah jumping in on the other side of him, nestling his body between the two redheads.

They were about an hour outside of New York City when Lexi wandered back to talk to them. “So we’ve got two suites at the Walker Hotel in Greenwich Village, each of which can fit five. They hadn’t really thought this new world through all too well yet, so we’ll just have to make do with what we can get our hands on. We’ll split into two rooms for the night, but you have to have at least Niko with you in the room at all times, because I’m not having you sleep without someone from security forces on you.”

Andy nodded. “I told you, whatever you ladies want me to do to keep myself safe, I’m going to listen to you.”

“Good. We’re going to touch down reasonably soon, and then we’ve got a trio of SUVs picking us up and transporting us to the hotel. I understand we’re shifting to do the signing earlier so we can stop off and do the Late Show,” she said with an amused look on her face. “You want to head back to the hotel afterwards or to the airport to fly down to Florida?”

“How long’s the flight down the coast?”

Lexi waved her hand in the air a bit. “Two and a half, maybe three hours, give or take. We can do it fine after the recording, as long as Piper’s family understands once we get there, we’re going straight to the hotel to crash, and we can see them in the morning. No late-night dinners or Cuban coffees, no matter how much they want to see her as soon as she get there.”

“That should work, unless you’d rather we do two nights at the Walker.”

Lexi shook her head. “Negatory. The more on the move we can stay, the easier my job’ll be. I like the idea of us being constantly in flux, staying ahead of anybody looking to pin us down.”

“Then away we’ll go,” Andy agreed. “And thanks again for going along with me on all this, Lexi. I know you’re still probably annoyed at how last minute it all is, but I think it’s important.”

Lexi smiled and shrugged a little bit. “Andy, stop apologizing. You’re the principal, I’m the bodyguard. Whatever the principal says needs to happen, it’s my job as the bodyguard to make it happen, so we’ll each stick to our roles and call it good, okay?”

“Couldn’t ask for a fairer deal.”

“Great. Now let me go see if I remember how to land an aircraft,” she said as she started heading back towards the cockpit.

“She’s kidding, isn’t she?” Sarah asked just a touch suspiciously.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Andy said. “Like, eighty to ninety percent sure.”

She punched him in the arm for that, and he probably deserved it.

Landing at the private airport outside of New York City was definitely a new experience, because Andy had to admit, not being forced to walk through metal detectors or stow things into overhead bins was a luxury he’d never imagined he’d have in his life.

The private airport wasn’t all that busy, but there were three SUVs waiting for them, each with their own driver, and Niko and Melody checked each of them, and then the vehicles, while Alexis parked the jet in the private storage hanger they were renting for the day. “Don’t lose our plane!” he teased Alexis as she headed back into it to park it. He could see her playfully flipping him off through the windshield.

Andy hadn’t even thought about things like temporary jet parking when he’d bought the plane, but it wasn’t like he could just fold it up and put it in his back pocket when he wasn’t using it, so they would rent storage places wherever they were staying over.

The drive into New York City wasn’t anywhere near as quiet as Andy had expected it to be, as his particular driver, Imani, had loads of questions. Andy, Niko, Sarah and Fiona had taken one car, and Imani had recognized both Sarah from her movies and Andy from his 60 Minutes interview.

“You mind me asking you a question Mister Rook?” she said to him a few minutes in.

“Andy, please. And go ahead.”

“What’re your thoughts about this whole MPA that Congress is talking about?”

Andy cocked his head to one side. “We’ve been in the air most of the day, Imani, so I’m not entirely sure what you’re talking about.”

“The Male Protection Act that Congress is starting to kick around,” she said. “They started talking about it this afternoon, and y’know, I agree we need to keep all y’all men safe, but some of it sounds, I dunno, like maybe dudes would take offense being told how to live their lives.”

“Tell me what you know.”

“Like, what they’re saying is that stuff that’s hazardous to men’s health would be forbidden from them. Like, y’all would have to stay in a certain degree of shape, couldn’t engage in dangerous activities, couldn’t do things designated unhealthy or perilous. Like, smoking would be right out and drinking alcohol would be regulated.”

“I don’t smoke, but I don’t know if I like the idea of the government telling me that I no longer have the right to,” Andy scowled. “And telling us we can only drink as much as they say sounds pretty suspicious to me.”

“You should look into it,” Imani said. “I mean, on one hand, I feel like it’s about time that all y’all dudes get your bodies legislated like y’all been trying to do to us women for centuries, what with all the abortion laws and shit, but on the other hand, if us women is dictating what men can do with their bodies, how’s that make us any better than the dudes we been complaining about all this time?”

“Yeah, I’ll definitely have to do some reading about all of this.”

As the cars made their way through the quiet late-night streets of New York City, Andy was looking up the news on his iPad, scrolling through to pick up as many of the highlights as he could. As Imani had suggested, Congress was starting to debate something called the Male Protection Act, which sounded like it would trample over a whole hell of a lot of men’s personal freedoms in order to keep them “safe” or protected. Exactly what was going to be in the MPA when it was presented was still being debated, but it ranged from limited caloric intake to essentially lo-jacking every male in America like they were prisoners under house arrest. Some of the earliest suggestions had already been struck down as “too prohibitive,” one of which would’ve forbidden men from leaving the country for any reason for the next ten years, but others, like men having to obtain specific permission to travel internationally were certainly being talked about like they were already a done deal. The whole thing made his stomach uneasy, even if he could see the root cause the women were trying to deal with.

With the survival of men and women so tangled up with one another, and so many men having died in the epidemic, the government was going through typical overreach paranoia and wanting to regulate as much “safety” as they could, in many cases going too far.

It was a little like speed limits, Andy felt. In principle, he understood them well enough, respected them and was in support of them generally. But like any other law forbidding people from doing things, they’d often been turned into a funding tool for the police in how they were enforced. Some basic measures to ensure men weren’t needlessly risking their lives, that was something he could certainly get behind, but if they were going to tell him he had to cut meat entirely out of his diet, well, they could pry his bacon cheeseburger from his cold dead hands.

Click! went the camera shutter as Fiona took a picture of him from the front seat, looking at his tablet in the back seat of the SUV with a slightly worried expression on his face. He looked up and offered the best smile he could as she snapped another one. Making a good impression on the nation was important, and if he was moping or scowling in all the photos, it wasn’t going to be good for anyone, much less selling the impression that America was open for business again.

“Jesus Christ, this is fucking ridiculous,” Andy muttered. “Mandatory therapy for all men? No high stress jobs? Requisite eight hours of sleep each and every day? Government run doctors check ups every six months? Intrusive much?”

“Remember, though, babe,” Niko told him. “You’ve got close to two dozen women whose lives depend on you staying safe. I think asking for a bit of common-sense protections isn’t too much, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I think we gotta be very careful how far down this line of conversation we go, before it starts becoming government mandated safety blankets,” Andy grumbled. “How’d you like it if the government started telling you what you could and couldn’t eat?”

“I’m sure you’ll get a chance to speak your mind about all of it at some point, Andy,” Fiona said. “What was that thing you said back in college? ‘Nobody’s an activist until it’s their butt on the line?’ I remember thinking how cynical it sounded back then.”

“A cynic’s just a realist who hasn’t had enough time to be proven right yet, Fi,” Andy snorted.

They reached the hotel not too much longer afterwards, and the plan was for the SUVs to come back and ferry them from the hotel to the bookstore, from the bookstore to the Ed Sullivan theater, and then back to the airport. Everyone was keeping their larger luggage on the plane, and just taking smaller bags so there wasn’t an avalanche of luggage everywhere they went, but it still felt like moving an army platoon.

At the hotel, Andy asked the front desk for an 11 am wake up call, explaining they were all going to be pretty jetlagged, and that they were going to do their best to adjust to the timezone shift, but also if they could have the wake-up call be room service bringing them all breakfast, it would be very much appreciated. All of them quickly placed an order for the morning, with Andy even thinking to order some pineapple juice so none of the girls would yell at him too much for having soda in the morning, even though many of them were putting in coffee orders.

When they got up to the suites, all the women took turns giving Andy goodnight hugs and kisses before they split for their separate rooms, with Ash, Niko, Em and Sarah taking the room with Andy, and Lexi, Melody, Fiona, Moira and Piper taking the other. Nobody was happy about sleeping apart from each other, but until the hotel rooms were equipped with larger beds, it was all they would be able to do.

Andy took care of brushing his teeth and washing his face first, and as soon as he was out, he was about to climb into bed when Emily sat down next to him, already in her pajamas, taking his hand nervously in her own.

“You’re still cross with me, aren’t you, Andrew? About the specifics regarding Mali? I want you to know that I had only the best of intentions.”

He sighed, nodding. “I am still cross, yes Em, simply because you waited until the last possible minute to tell me. And you did that intentionally. Meaning you knew it was going to cause friction, but you waited until I was right there at the site so I couldn’t even stop to think about the ramifications of what you were asking of me. I don’t like being ambushed, Em, especially by someone who’s supposed to be on my side.”

She sighed, starting to cry a little bit. “I know, Andrew. It was very wrong of me, but I was so desperately afraid you might tell me that we would need to pair her with someone else, and her story made me so sad, and she has been so kind to me in the face of adversity that we needed to help her.”

Andy gritted his teeth for a moment, then resolved to try and let the anger go. “And I would’ve come to that conclusion on my own as well, Emily, but it should’ve been something we decided as a family, not something that you just decided for us. The only way this is all going to work is if we all trust each other with our lives, and you didn’t even trust me to come to the same conclusion on this as you did.”

She threw her arms around him, the tears flowing a little stronger now as she clung to him tightly. “I cannot go back and fix the mistake this time, Andrew, but I can promise you that I shan’t do it again, that I will remember we’re all a family now, and that I need to act in a way that shows I’m putting the family’s needs ahead of my own petty fears.” She pulled back so that her puffy eyes could look into his own. “Can you forgive me, Andy?”

The fact that she was using the shortened version of his name meant she understood the weight of her mistake, and the fragility on her face made it impossible for him to hold onto his anger, not that he’d intended to. “Of course I can, Em, but let’s stop making a habit of deciding things for the whole house without talking it out, okay?”

She smiled a little bit and leaned up to kiss him as he wiped away the tears from her cherubic cheeks. “Thank you… I’m so used to having to think of just myself, or more recently, just myself and Sarah. But you are most assuredly correct—this should’ve been a House decision and I put myself above the House in making it for you all. I can’t promise I won’t ever do it again, but I’ll work very hard not to.”

“That’s all anyone can ask of you, Em,” he said just as the others were making their way over to the bed, everyone giving both him and Em a big bear hug, happy to see them having put their differences aside. “Now let’s get to sleep. Big day tomorrow.”

They all climbed into bed, Andy with his arms around Emily so she’d know he meant it when he said he forgave her, Sarah in Em’s arms, Niko holding onto his back and Ash holding onto Niko’s. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he felt Niko’s lips right over his ear, whispering into them, “You try and leave this hotel room without me, mister, and I’ll break both your legs.”

He knew she meant it affectionately.