“Moment of Weakness”
Joan looked up at the clock. It seemed to have stopped at 3:28, but that was probably just her imagination. Her watch also said 3:28. Mind you, she’d been pretty sure for a while that her watch had stopped too. Maybe both of them had stopped.
Time seemed to have been doing funny things to Joan all day. At some points, it had been going by unpleasantly quickly, sneaking past her when she wasn’t paying attention. Now, when she was just getting to the moment she’d been dreading for the last week, it had apparently decided to stop completely. She fidgeted in her chair, examined her reflection in the window for a moment and tucked a few stray strands of long black hair back into her ponytail, looked down at the small sheaf of papers, pushed her glasses up on her nose, and looked at the clock again. Still 3:28. It must have stopped. She stared at it more intently, trying to determine if it was moving. It didn’t have a second hand, so she had to watch the minute hand very closely...
When the intercom buzzed, Joan let out a tiny yelp of surprise before she realized what the sound actually was. She pressed the button. “Yes, Amy?” she asked, trying to compose herself.
“Doctor Eisen? It’s Lori Hilton, here for her 3:30 appointment.”
Joan nodded. Lifetime bad habit, but one she never could break. “Go ahead and send her in,” she said. She looked down again at the papers on her desk. Her hand ached with the desire to press the buzzer again, to tell her secretary to send Lori away. She just wanted to hide in her office for the rest of the day and then go see if she couldn’t find a bottle of liquor, a dark corner, and quite possibly a time machine. But she knew that the right thing to do was to see Lori and make amends.
Lori walked into the office, her curly blonde hair freshly permed, looking as always like she’d just stepped out of the pages of ‘Maxim’. “What’s up, doc?” she said with her usual dazzling smile. Same corny joke, but she told it every week. Joan usually laughed as much from the familiarity as any humor value. Today, she didn’t even crack a smile. She could barely bring herself to look at Lori.
She opened her mouth to speak, and had to spend a few moments swallowing before she got any words out. Finally, she managed a few words. “Lori, I...”
Lori sat down in the chair across from Joan’s desk, the one Joan would usually sit in as Lori took her position on the couch. Not today, though. Not ever again. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
Stunned amazement almost shocked Joan out of her misery. ‘What’s wrong?’ Did she honestly not understand? Did she not remember somehow, had she blocked it out of her memory due to trauma or shame or...or...had Joan imagined the whole thing, perhaps? She dearly wished she had, but...no. It was real. Joan had to deal with it, even if Lori apparently couldn’t. She stood up and took the papers from her desk, walking around to hand them directly to Lori.
“Here,” she said. “These are some recommendations for other hypnotherapists you can see, as well as contact information for the American Medical Association and the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis. If you want to bring up an ethics charge against me, I understand completely. I won’t fight it. What I did last week was...it was wrong, it was unethical, it was unprofessional, I should never have...have...” She trailed off, not sure how to put the enormity of her shame into words.
Lori seemed confused for a moment, but then understanding dawned on her. “Doctor Eisen...Joan...” she said. “You don’t have anything to feel bad about! I’m not upset with you. I enjoyed it.”
“That’s exactly the problem,” Joan said.
“Now, Lori,” Joan said, “I want you to watch the metronome, and as you do, I want you to remember all those sensations that you’ve felt so many times before. It’s very easy to drift into trance, and you’re going to find it happening just as easily and naturally as always.” She watched Lori’s eyes as they followed the swaying pendulum. Already, they were half-closed, and a wide, dreamy smile spread across Lori’s face as she relaxed into the couch cushions.
Lori was an excellent hypnotic subject, as always. That was half the problem. Some clients took weeks, even months of sessions before they could achieve a state of trance at all, but Lori would sink under for just about anything. Metronomes, pendants, watches, penlights...it didn’t matter what Joan used as the focus. She could probably just snap her fingers the second Lori walked into the room, and the girl would go into a trance right then and there. Joan tried very hard not to think about that. It only exacerbated things.
Lori let out a little whimpery sigh as her eyes closed. Joan stilled the metronome, trying not to think about the way that sigh sounded. She looked over again at the piece of paper on her desk, the one she’d been planning to give Lori before canceling this week’s session. The one she’d decided (again) to give her at the end of the session instead. Trying to keep her voice steady, she said, “Lori, I want you to relax and let yourself go deeper now. Just count down from ten to one, and let each number take you further into trance. If you lose track of where you were, or forget a number, that’s alright. That’s a sign that you’re going very deep. Just relax and count for me now.”
“ten,” Lori said, in that soft, purring voice. She wasn’t making any progress at all, Joan could tell just from her tone as she continued to count. “nine...eight...ssseven...” Lori slurred her words a little as her lips became too relaxed to enunciate clearly. “seven...six...three...”
Joan waited for a moment for more numbers, but it was pretty clear that Lori was too deep to remember how to count. She really had never seen a hypnotic subject as good as Lori. It wasn’t just natural susceptibility, of course. She’d had plenty of practice. “Lori,” Joan said, “we’re going to talk about your week now. You’re very deep, very relaxed, and you know I’m not going to judge you. I’m just going to listen, as you tell me openly and honestly about what’s been going on the last week. Let’s start with your last session. What happened after you left here?”
“i went into the restroom and masturbated,” Lori said. She didn’t even look ashamed. Hell, she looked thrilled. “i went into one of the stalls, and i pulled down my panties and i pulled up my skirt and i remembered how you’d hypnotized me, and how good it felt, and i just rubbed my clitty until i came all over my hand...”
“Alright, Lori,” Joan said. Part of her wanted to interrupt sooner, but she didn’t want to make Lori feel ashamed of sex. “Tell me about the rest of your week.” She just wished she could get the poor girl to disassociate sex from hypnosis. Joan looked down at her notebook, at the conclusions she’d come to over a month ago. ‘Patient shows no sign of improvement, or even of wanting to improve. Her hypnofetishism seems not to have abated at all in the six months she’s been in my care.’ Joan tried to push the words to the back of her mind as Lori began to speak.
“it was a nice week,” Lori said in a half-sigh. Joan knew what that meant. ‘Patient shows no signs of wanting to improve.’
“Lori,” Joan said, trying to keep reproval out of her voice, “did you let anyone hypnotize you this week?”
“uh-huh,” Lori said blissfully. Joan had learned by now to make sure to hypnotize her before asking her any of these questions. Lori might lie when she was awake, but her subconscious mind had been too deeply conditioned by too many successive hypnotists to be able to lie to Joan when she was in trance. “a boy was texting me when i was at my computer. we were talking about hypnosis, and he told me he could tell that i was a very good subject. he told me i would keep reading his words as they scrolled up the screen, and my eyes would just follow and i would go deeper...”
She was going deeper just remembering it, Joan knew. Lori had no hypnotic defenses at all. She’d go into trance for anyone. She wanted to go into trance for anyone. She got off on going into trance for anyone, and despite the fact that she’d come to Joan specifically to get help with that exact problem, seven months had gone by and she was still trancing for random strangers over the Internet.
“and he had me put on the headphones, and connect to him in voice chat...” So why did Joan keep doing this? Why didn’t she just hand over that list of other hypnotherapists to Lori and admit the obvious, that she wasn’t doing anything worthwhile to help the girl? (Assuming she wanted to be helped at all, which Joan had begun to doubt.) Joan looked down at the next sentence, the one she hadn’t wanted to read. ‘My sessions haven’t done anything to separate hypnosis and sex in her eyes. Instead, she’s begun associating me with the sexual pleasure she gets from hypnosis.’
“he just kept talking to me, telling me to sink deeper, and it felt so good that i had to obey...” She hadn’t ended the sessions because Lori was attracted to her. No. That was a lie. She hadn’t ended the sessions because she was attracted to Lori. Every time she thought about breaking off their therapeutic relationship, every time she made the resolution to send Lori somewhere else to get her help, or to get her fix, or whatever it was she was getting out of this...she remembered those soft, dreamy tones, the way Lori looked so sweetly helpless on the couch, all the intimate, erotic fantasies the girl confessed in trance, and she put it off another week. She hadn’t ended it because she wanted to keep trancing Lori. And knowing it was wrong hadn’t made it any easier to stop.
“...and he told me to turn on the webcam, and i did, and it felt so niiiice...it felt like his voice was caressing my mind, and i wanted to be naked for him so much...” Joan glanced over at Lori, embarrassed to have been woolgathering during a session. But what she saw embarrassed her even more. Lori wasn’t just remembering the hypnosis, she was reliving it. Her hands had unbuttoned her blouse of their own volition, and she squirmed on the couch obscenely, causing her dress to bunch up around her hips.
Lori hadn’t even bothered wearing panties today.
“Don’t you see, Lori? I took advantage of you. You were in a very vulnerable emotional state, and I...I...” Joan still had trouble finishing the sentence. She still couldn’t believe she’d done it. Five years of professional practice with both men and women, and now this...she only wished she had the courage to report herself. She deserved to have her licence stripped, she deserved disgrace and humiliation and ruination. But Lori just looked at her with that bright, beaming smile. That made it so much worse.
Lori put her hand on Joan’s shoulder. Joan tried not to flinch from the contact. “Joan,” she said, “you really don’t have anything to be ashamed of. I hadn’t wanted to say anything, but...well, I’ve been attracted to you for quite some time now.” Joan knew that very well; while under hypnosis, Lori had told Joan all about her bisexual urges, and about the fantasies of Joan hypnotizing her and...and...suddenly, Lori seemed very near. Joan ached to take a step back, but she seemed to have forgotten how to make her legs work.
“That’s just it, Lori,” she said instead. “Don’t you see? You’re attracted to me because I’m hypnotizing you every week. That’s exactly what you came to me to cure! When I took advantage of you, in my...my moment of weakness...I set your therapy back by months, perhaps years! I betrayed your trust in me, Lori. There’s no way we can continue in our professional relationship, not now that I’ve cemented your association between my hypnotizing you and sex. Every session from now on would be counter-productive, and that’s assuming that...” That it wouldn’t happen again. Because Joan couldn’t guarantee anymore that it wouldn’t. Even now, remembering Lori’s blank-eyed stare, the way she sank into trance so easily, Joan felt a rush of arousal between her legs.
Lori looked downcast. “You’re sure? You don’t think you can...can help me anymore?”
“I’m sure.” Joan tried to keep her voice firm. “I’m sorry. There’s a list of therapists in there. I’ve highlighted some of the ones that I think might be of particular help to you.” Like Jim Brewer, who’s been in a committed relationship with another man for six years now.
Lori nodded. “Alright, then,” she said. Instead of turning to leave, though, she stepped in closer to Joan. Too close. Close enough to smell her perfume, to feel the heat of her body. “Then if we’re not patient and doctor anymore...it’s alright for us to see each other now. Socially, I mean.”
Joan fought with her libido to try to make herself back away. It ended in a stalemate. She couldn’t move a muscle. “No!” she said. “Joan, our therapist/client relationship doesn’t end just because I’m referring you. These sessions have been very...intense...” Joan noticed another scent, a musky smell that made her mouth water. She really needed to end this, get Lori out of the room before she did something stupid again. “We can’t, we...we just can’t. Please.”
“Please?” Lori put her other hand on Joan’s arm. It looked almost like they were dancing, except that Joan’s arms were stiff at her sides and she didn’t dare move them because she didn’t trust where they would go if she tried. “You don’t have to say please to me, you know that.”
It took so much effort to keep from moving now. Joan felt like Lori had a gravitational pull, like she was fighting to keep from being drawn to her body and the way it felt and smelled and tasted... “I...Lori, please, we should...”
Lori’s smile had turned seductive, now. Her hands ran down Lori’s arms, slipped onto her hips. “You never have to say please to me, Joan. You know that. You can just...put me under. You know it’s easy. I know it’s easy. Put me under, tell me to stop, and you know I will. I’ll do anything you tell me to when I’m in trance, Joan.” She was so close now that Joan could feel Lori’s breath on her lips. “Anything.”
“I...can’t, I shouldn’t...” Because Joan felt her own wetness soaking through her panties. She knew that if she put Lori under, if she saw that dreamy, glassy look in Lori’s eyes, she wouldn’t tell her to stop. She’d tell her to do a lot of things, but stopping wasn’t one of them.
“I understand,” Lori said. Her right hand slid down Joan’s hip to her thigh, then back up again, skimming up and down the length of Joan’s oh-so-sensible business suit. “We’ll just keep playing, then, and all you need to do to make me stop...” Her left hand slipped into the waistband of Joan’s skirt. “...is hypnotize me.”
Joan arched her back as she felt Lori’s fingers slide into her damp panties. “Lori, please...”
“Please? Please stop?” Lori’s hand rubbed against the slick wetness of Joan’s cunt. Her knees felt weak, and she wasn’t even sure what she’d meant by ‘please’ anymore. “Please keep going?” She felt Lori’s finger inside of her, slipping in so easily, lubricated by Joan’s juices. “Please go into a deep, obedient trance?”
Joan panted, her hips bucking against that relentless hand, that perfect motion. She had stopped caring about her professional ethics at some point, stopped caring about how wrong it was or about how bad she would feel tomorrow or about anything except the orgasm that she could feel building as Lori touched her. “I, oh, I...Lori, please, just, unnnh...don’t stop, please, more, ohgod, oh, fuck...” She couldn’t help herself now, she needed it so bad, she pressed her body against Lori’s, feeling the weight of those full, heavy breasts against her own, crashing into the other girl as her resistance failed completely. “Please!” she whimpered.
Lori just kept sliding her finger in and out, slowing down as the other girl’s gasps turned to whimpers, speeding up as her breathing slowed. “I don’t know,” she said. “I kind of like you like this. All turned on, and needy. I might just keep you like this for hours.” Joan moaned. “I might keep you like this forever. I might never let you cum at all, Joan. Not as long as it’s up to me.”
Joan knew what Lori meant. She knew what Lori wanted, and she was too weak not to give it to her anymore. She looked into Lori’s eyes as Lori kept fingering her, and brought her hand up to eye level.
She snapped her fingers. And Lori went into a trance right then and there.
She was right there, right there with her pussy exposed and glistening and shaved and Joan remembered her mentioning that one of her old boyfriends had conditioned her to want to shave her pussy every single day. Joan had fingered herself for what seemed like hours that night, imagining Lori shaving her pussy with an empty, vacant stare on her face. That was when she’d made the list. But she hadn’t given it to Lori. And now she was right there.
She hadn’t stopped, either. She was unhooking her bra now, and any second she’d have her breasts exposed to Joan’s stare and Joan knew she should say something about it, but her voice just seemed to have dried up in her throat.
But Lori’s hadn’t. She just kept talking. “and when he had me all naked and obedient, he told me to rub and fondle my breasts,” and she matched the action to the words. Joan felt like she couldn’t look away. She should, she needed to, this was a total violation of her ethics as a therapist and it probably qualified as rape in a court of law, but...Lori’s nipples were so hard right now.
Alright. That was enough. She had to stop this. She really had to stop this. She really, really had to stop this right now. Joan stood up and reached over to pull Lori’s hands away from her breasts. “Lori,” she said, “I want you to stop remembering that now.”
“yes, ma’am,” Lori said breathily. Joan touched Lori’s hands. Lori took them in her own and pressed them against her tits.
They felt so soft under her fingers. She could feel the nipples pressing into her palms as Lori arched her back up into Joan’s touch. She hadn’t come out of trance, not even a little. Joan was fondling her tits and all it was doing was sending her deeper. Lori let out a soft, breathy moan and slid one hand between her legs. Her skirt was little more than a belt now.
Joan wanted to pull her hands away, but that skin felt so smooth under her fingers. Just a few moments more, she promised herself. It wouldn’t do any harm, Lori was so deep already that she’d probably write this off as a fantasy she’d had while in trance. Joan knew that Lori fantasized about her. She’d told her that last week. In detail. Joan hadn’t sent her away then either. She’d just waited until Lori had left and then pulled up her skirt and finger-fucked herself until she’d climaxed, right there in the office.
Joan looked over at the list. She knew she’d never be able to give it to her now, not now that she’d actually touched these beautiful breasts. She hated herself for it, and knew she’d hate herself worse once Lori had woken up and realized how Joan had betrayed her trust, but that was for later. Right now, she needed to keep touching. She needed more than that. “Lori,” she husked out, “t-take my skirt off.” The tremor she heard in her own voice aroused her even more.
“yes, ma’am.” It was the same response as before, and Joan shuddered to realize that no matter what she told Lori to do, no matter how depraved or lewd the request, Lori would reply with ‘yes, ma’am.’ Lori left a stain of her own juices on the skirt as she pulled it down to pool on the ground.
“Panties now.” Joan growled out the words in a haze of need, barely even coherent.
“yes, ma’am.” Oh, fuck, did that sound sexy as Lori peeled the panties away from Joan’s flesh, moisture making them cling to her body for an instant before they joined the other clothes on the floor.
“Lie back, Lori,” Joan said. Her cunt absolutely ached with need, worse this time than the last session, worse every time. How had she lasted this long before giving in to it?
“yes, ma’am.” Joan climbed onto the couch even as Lori said the words, straddling the other girl’s face with her thighs, facing towards Lori’s feet (and her tits and her thighs and her cunt...)
“Lick,” she said. She knew she didn’t need to say anything more, and it was such a turn-on to say it, to command Lori. The other girl’s words were muffled by Joan’s cunt, but she knew exactly what Lori was saying. She knew what Lori would always say when she was deeply hypnotized like this. Joan reached down and resumed fondling Lori’s tits.
Lori’s tongue just felt so perfect on her clit, and Joan knew she was smearing her juices all over Lori’s face. She pictured climbing off the other girl, seeing her docile, empty, cum-smeared face, and that pushed Lori right over the edge into her first orgasm. But Lori didn’t stop licking. Lori wouldn’t stop licking until Joan commanded her to. The power was intoxicating, almost more arousing than the sex. “Touch...oh, touch yourself. While you lick. Don’t stop.”
More muffled words, more hot breath on her cunt as Lori reached down between her own thighs and spread her legs. Joan had a perfect view of her pussy as she fingered it, sliding them in and out until her whole shaved pussy shone with her juices, and that drove Joan to her second orgasm.
But that didn’t sate her. Fuck it. If she was destroying her whole career, her life and her dignity and her sense of ethics as a human being for one afternoon of sex, she might as well make it a good one. She just kept riding Lori’s face, panting and gasping and moaning and so, so very glad that she’d scheduled Lori as the last appointment of the day again.
Finally, she gasped out, “Stop.” Her voice was unsteady with pleasure, her body very unsteady as she finally climbed off of Lori. The other girl’s face was exactly as Joan had pictured it, and she had to fight the urge to command Lori to finger her to one more orgasm. But she couldn’t take any more. The body could only stand so much pleasure. Joan was exhausted, her limbs were shaky and trembling and all she wanted to do was sink down into the chair and sleep for a year. She wished to hell she could stand more, though. She never wanted to stop.
She looked at Lori, vacant and empty and pliant and open to programming, and knew what she had to say next.
This time was different. This time she was already shaking with need, she didn’t need to say anything more than, “Make me cum.”
“yes, ma’am.” Just the words alone did it. Joan felt her cunt clench around Lori’s fingers, and she clutched the other girl for support as her orgasm hit. The two of them almost fell back onto the couch, the scent of sex heavy in the air as Joan thanked God that she’d decided to put Lori at the end of the day again. The sheaf of papers fell to the floor, forgotten, as Joan pressed her lips against Lori’s.
This time, Lori undressed Joan completely. Joan hadn’t deepened her the way she had last week, and Lori seemed to take Joan’s command creatively as she licked and sucked and nipped and pinched at Joan’s titties in a way nobody had ever done before, until finally Joan gasped as the orgasm was practically coaxed out of her.
Lori kissed her way down Joan’s body, leaving saliva behind to evaporate under the slight breeze of the air conditioner. Joan spread her legs, then wrapped them tightly around Lori’s head as the other girl found that perfect spot just around Joan’s clit and began to lick. Joan heard herself grunting in animal pleasure, but all her other senses seemed faint and unimportant next to the sensation of that tongue licking and licking and licking.
Joan knew then that she couldn’t give this up. It was wrong, it was terrible and she was weak to want it and weaker still to refuse to give it up, but all the denials in the world just melted under that soft, gentle, precise tongue. She couldn’t send Lori away, not now that she knew how good the other girl could make her feel, not now that she knew how good it felt to see her blank and obedient and so, so very willing to follow Joan’s commands. Another orgasm hit, leaving Joan breathless and shaking, and Joan finally gasped out, “Stop.”
Lori sat up. “yes, ma’am,” she said.
Joan sat there for a long moment, collecting her thoughts and letting her breathing slow. “Listen to me, Lori,” she said at last. “I want you to forget the papers I gave you at the beginning of our session today. I never gave you any papers, I never told you to find a different therapist. I never suggested any kind of change in our current relationship. We merely had a pleasant, unimportant conversation before the beginning of our session.”
“yes, ma’am,” Lori said. On any other person, that would never have worked. They’d resist such a blatant and unethical attempt to alter their memories. But Lori was the best hypnotic subject Joan had ever met, and she was used to getting suggestions like that. She’d do anything Joan said. Next week, she really would do anything Joan said. Joan felt another twinge from her conscience, but they were getting easier to ignore.
“You don’t need to worry about the fact that our sessions have begun to involve sex. That’s a...” She almost choked on the enormity of the lie, but thinking about the sex made it easier to say. “That’s a natural progression of our therapy, Lori. You don’t need to think about it when we’re outside this office, or mention it to anyone else. It’ll be our secret.”
“yes, ma’am.” Lori smiled happily, proud to be so obedient. No wonder so many people took advantage of her like this.
Joan looked at Lori, vacant and empty and pliant and open to programming, and knew what she had to say next. “We’re like a see-saw,” she said. “When you go up, I go down.” She tried to think about what the words meant and why they popped into her head so easily, but it suddenly seemed very hard to think and the couch felt so soft under her back and she just closed her eyes and relaxed into the cushions and waited to hear what Lori had to tell her.
“Good girl,” Lori said. “You’ve been such a good girl, today, and it felt so good, didn’t it, Joan?” Joan just nodded softly, a dreamy smile on her face. “That’s right, Joan. It felt so good to hypnotize me, so good to give in to your desires and make me your deep, obedient hypnotized slave. You tried to fight that, Joan, but what do you remember?”
Joan sighed out, “i am too weak to fight my desires.”
Lori stroked her hip gently. “Good girl.” Poor Joan hadn’t even seen it coming that first time, when Lori had lingered after their sessions a few months ago to ‘ask a few questions about hypnosis’. She hadn’t suspected that her new client might have picked up a little knowledge in all those years of being a subject. And that was the wonderful thing about hypnotists. They made such good subjects. “You can’t fight your desires. And what do you desire?”
Joan flushed slightly all over. “i desire to make you my deep, obedient, hypnotized slave.”
“Good girl.” Lori looked forward so much to the day when she didn’t need to condition Joan anymore, when Joan would be so deeply programmed that she’d take Lori completely, break her will and hypnotize her so thoroughly and so totally that Lori wouldn’t even remember how to brainwash her anymore. When she could finally have the true hypnodomme she’d craved for so long. “And you know you don’t need to remember being hypnotized at all, Joan. You don’t need to remember until it’s time to remember, until it’s time to be programmed again.” Joan nodded, and Lori sighed deeply as she remembered how it felt to be that deeply hypnotized as she began to finger herself. She wanted Joan to take her again, to take her forever, but she was willing to be patient.
Lori looked down at her hypnotized Mistress, and let her orgasm take her.