The Legacy of Mr. Brooks
By The Writer
Chapter 6
…Deep-conditioning is what I call it when I actually modify the subject’s deepest-held beliefs and convictions. I found it difficult to, for example, change a committed religious subject’s beliefs about God. In a number of experiments, some religionists could easily be made to be atheists, but a few were resistant. They would accept my statement that there was no God but it wouldn’t last. Within hours, sometimes minutes, they would question this new belief and find ways to rationalize their deeply held, core beliefs to overrule the new ones I was trying to teach them. This could be true of other things as well. Politics was another issue I experimented with. It was rare, most subjects just didn’t care about politics that much. But a few subjects held on to their beliefs even tighter than the religious subjects.
I eventually worked out that to change a subject’s core beliefs I had to use an interactive process. I had to explore their beliefs and change them one by one, being sure not to leave any untouched beliefs that could cause conflict with the new ones. It was also helpful to close with a command to not think about the new ideas too much.
Next, let me cover a little about ethics…
Krista took me literally about calling next week. Sunday morning, early, my phone was ringing. We had lunch again that day. It was pleasant, mostly small-talk, but interesting small-talk. No more tears.
When I got home, Myrna was waiting outside my apartment.
“Hi, Myrna, what’s up?”
“I was just about to knock,” she said. Yet, somehow, I think she had actually been standing there for a good while.
“Listen, something isn’t right,” she said. “I’m remembering things. I went to the zoo last year and I distinctly remember you going with me. We took pictures. I took some with you in them and you took some with me in them. All I can find are pictures of the animals. And one of me that I asked a guide to take. But the guide took it of us, and you’re not in it.”
How to handle this? My stomach was getting queasy.
“Let’s talk inside,” I opened the door and we went in.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been to the zoo, Myrna. Are you sure you went with me?”
“Of course, I’m sure! We had great sex in the Ladies room there! Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that part?”
“Myrna, I’m quite sure I’ve never had sex in a Ladies room.”
The confusion was evident on her face. “And something else. I can’t quite remember…”
“What is it?” I asked.
“That time on your couch. You remember that one, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“There was something about it…something you said. I remember you saying lots of things. Like, telling me everything we had done for the last two years. But I knew all that…but you were telling me. And you said to keep it a secret…but we’d always kept it a secret. Why did we keep it a secret?”
“Well, I’m not sure,” I hesitated, “I guess you didn’t want anyone to know.”
“No,” she said, sounding more sure. “It wasn’t me, it was you! You didn’t want anyone to know. But it was that afternoon, on your couch. It’s like, everything before that was because of that one fuck.”
“Myrna, I’m sure you’re imagining things.”
“I think I am imagining things. I think something’s happened to my memory. There’s other things; little things. Things that don’t match up to what I remember. I have a very good memory. Except when you’re involved.”
I didn’t know what to do. My guilty feelings were back in full force. If I hadn’t thrown out the drug, I’d use some to fix this. And maybe it’s good then that I did throw it out.
“Look, Myrna, I know you’re a little confused. You see, that afternoon, I…”
“Oh my God, you drugged me, didn’t you? You drugged me and made me think that I was your lover! That’s why you sucked in bed after that. It was never real before then! Oh my God, I’ve been raped!”
“Myrna, wait!”
She ran out of my apartment.
I stood in my living room for a minute before I had to go the bathroom to puke. I couldn’t sleep that night and all the next day at work I was sick to my stomach. What I had done to her had come back in full force. I also tried to figure out where I went wrong. I was an amateur trying to do what my grandfather had spent years becoming good at. I thought about going over to Maria’s to pick up the notebook. Maybe try and make more of the stuff and set this right. In the end, I did nothing that day but go home.
A knock at my door that evening interrupted my dinner. On the other side of the door was a policeman.
“Mr. Thompson?” he inquired.
“Yes?” I replied.
“I’m following up on a report we’ve had, do you mind if I come in?”
“Err…no,” I said, “Come in.” I opened the door wider for him.
He sighed. “Thanks. Really this is just routine. Do you know your neighbor, Myrna Solomon from 214?”
I felt like my heart was going to explode. I was glad the lighting was low – my face must have been quite red.
“Yeah, sure,” I said.
“And what’s your relationship with her?”
What to say, what to say? Do I say I barely know her? Do I tell him we’ve been seeing each other for a couple years? Do I tell him we became lovers a few weeks ago?
I made the decision to go with the last one.
“Uh, well, uh. I guess, we were lovers. We broke up last week.”
“I see,” he said. “And when did this relationship start?”
“Uh, a few weeks ago.”
“Ms. Solomon is saying that you drugged her and ‘mind-controlled’ her into being your lover.”
“Uh, okay. That’s a little weird.”
“Did you drug her, Mr. Thompson?”
“No, of course not!”
He stared at me for a while. “Well,” he eventually said, “we tested her blood but nothing showed. It wouldn’t, of course, if it was weeks ago like she’s claiming.”
“On the other hand,” he continued, “that fact that she continued to have a relationship with you for, what, four or five weeks?”
“Something like that.”
“That makes a drugging look pretty unlikely. She admits she continued to see you which pretty much says that she was here of her own free will.”
“So,” he continued, “I’m really just here to follow up. We get these sometimes, wackos who try to use us to get back at an ex. I think that’s all I need, have a nice day, Mr. Thompson.”
And with that, he was gone.
I thought that was the end of my worries. Put Myrna behind me. Certainly never touch the stuff ever again. I figured I’d give it a while, then I’d probably go destroy the notebook and never worry about it again.
And then there was Krista. Maybe there could be something there after all. Things were definitely getting better.
Little did I know. Had I but known that in a few days, my life would never again be normal.