The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

It didn’t start innocently, no, not at all. I was seventeen, a senior in high school. My parents’ marriage was falling apart. No, “falling apart” denotes a passive process; they were actively destroying their marriage, with me in the middle. The only family we have are my mom’s sister and brother living at the other end of the state, and my dad’s step-sister Beth who lives nearby. Aunt Beth is nine years younger than my dad; she’s 29 and really attractive.

You can stop reading now; you’ve probably figured out where this is going. Well, you’re right and you’re wrong. It’s a wild ride and it isn’t over yet.

Beth was having troubles with her new Mac. I’m the family computer geek and offered to help. One Friday night at dinner, mom broke the usual stone cold silence by telling me, “Your father and I have an appointment tomorrow. Aunt Beth will pick you up around nine; you can look at her computer. How does that sound?”

I could imagine what the appointment might be, yet I didn’t want to know. I was miffed they wouldn’t let me stay home alone; I was seventeen after all. “That’s fine with me,” I told her. I looked at my dad; he gave me a glance then looked down at the food on his plate again.

My stomach grumbled. Their fucking games were getting to me—the icy silence when I was around, the screaming after I went upstairs, the sounds of my mom crying. After dinner I cleaned up dishes and went upstairs to my room, putting on headphones and doing homework.

At least it hadn’t screwed up my grades—yet. I knew so many kids who fell apart when their parents split up. I knew that, more than ever, I needed to focus on grades, on scholarships. Luckily, as part of the school’s enrichment program I’d been taking classes at the local junior college since last year; this year I had second year calculus and second year college French. The high school administration was pissed about that; they’d wanted us to take stupid intro programs, but those of us in the program figured out real fast that the enrollment cards we had were good for whatever we wanted. Last year I’d gotten straight A’s in calculus, anthropology, and French. This year I’d lightened up; just calculus and French. The counselors at the college and both sets of teachers were all for it.

Oh well. Saturday morning I got up early, showered, ate breakfast, and got my stuff together. It looked as if it would be hot out again—it often goes into the high 80’s in late September in Southern California, so I wore shorts, sandals, and a T-shirt. Aunt Beth’s townhouse has air conditioning. Well, so do we, but my parents argue about using it.

Aunt Beth picked me up about a quarter to nine, smiling as usual when we got into her Volvo wagon. “How are you doing today, Andy?” she asked.

I sighed as I got into the front seat and buckled up. “Okay, I guess.”

She gave me a sympathetic look. “Your parents?”

I nodded. “Yup, what else. They’re off to see a counselor or something.”

She had a brief look of surprise. “They actually told you that?”

I smiled, more of a smirk. “No, they didn’t. But that’s the only thing I can imagine them doing together.”

She sighed as we pulled out of the driveway. “Very perceptive. I don’t know who they think they’re fooling.”

“I...” I started to say something, then changed my mind. I surprised myself; I had to clear my throat and wipe off some tears. “No, I’m not going there, not at all. What’s up with your computer?” I said, trying to put on a different voice.

She sighed and said, “Good for you.”

We talked about her new Mac. It sounded as if she was having teething pains. Someone had helped her move files from her very old Performa. She’d just gotten a cable modem and while it was set up, she wasn’t sure how things worked together. It sounded like just the thing for me to do today.

Her place was about twenty minutes down the freeway; it’s a nice small place. She had the computer set up in the guest room. She wrote down her passwords while the machine was starting up; the new flat panel displays sure are nice. She told me the manuals and all the packing materials were in the closet behind me; she hadn’t thrown anything out. There were soft drinks in the kitchen; she needed to run some errands and would be back in a couple of hours, then we could go out for lunch. That sounded good to me.

It happened about twenty minutes after she left. I’d started rearranging things and throwing out duplicates and old versions of software, once I was sure she had a good backup. The good news was that whoever helped her wrote a CDR of everything on her old machine. The bad news was that all of it, including the (very old) system folder, had been dumped onto the new machine.

I went to the closet to get a manual I needed. I opened the closet door and saw her incredibly soft full-length fake fur coat. I’d completely forgotten about that. I’d had a crush on her and especially that coat for years. I found the manual I needed on the nearby shelf, but then I found myself touching the coat. Pretty soon I had my face buried in it, my arm around it holding it to me, lost in the softness, the texture, and the faint smell of her perfume.

“Andrew?”

I turned and looked; she was standing in the doorway; I hadn’t heard her come in.

“Aunt Beth...” I stammered. “I...” I knew I had a huge erection. Another minute or so and I’d have dropped my shorts...

I really expected her to be mad, but she smiled. “It’s all right, I understand. Come with me.”

She took me by the hand and took me to her bedroom. She pointed to the bed. “Lay down and close your eyes.”

I gave her a questioning look.

“Please trust me, Andy.”

I sighed and lay down facing away from her, closing my eyes.

“No, roll over onto your back and scoot down toward the foot of the bed. I’ll just be a minute. Just close your eyes and breathe slow and deep.”

I heard her walk out of the room softly. What had I done? The only family in the area, the only person to treat me as an adult, as someone with feelings, and I’d betrayed her trust, and if she’d been a couple of minutes later.... I heard the toilet flush, heard her walking out of the bedroom, then after a bit heard her walking in again. I started to turn.

“Eyes still closed Andrew,” she said, somewhat stern, but with something more in her voice. I heard her moving again, sounds like something swishing, cloth?

I felt the bed move. Then I felt that fur on me, and the softness and warmth of her body. I gasped. I felt her hand go behind my head, and felt a nipple against my lips. I moaned and took it, sucking gently.

“Good. Now put your arms around me and hold me. Can you do that?”

I slid one arm under her, under the coat, and the other over her. We rolled a little so I was up on my side a bit and she was leaning on me, pressing her breast and that incredible coat into me, holding my head. I breathed deep through my nose, filling my head with her perfume, moaning again.

“That’s good. Now all you have to do is hold me, and suck on me if you want, and relax. I’m going to help you relax. Start by exhaling slowly, then taking a slow, deep breath. That’s good. Now when you exhale, let go of all your tension, let it all go, relax in my arms, I’ve got you. Good, take another deep breath and let go, relax in my arms.”

It felt so good to be in her arms, her hand cradling my head. I started to pull my head back and she held me gently but firmly to her breast, making me moan again. “Relax; let go and relax.”

She coached my breathing for a while, then started at the top of my head, telling me how relaxed the muscles in my scalp were. She moved to my forehead, my eyes, my face. I felt all the tension draining out of my head; it felt so good. She moved to my neck and it went limp; I remember her laughing softly, holding me to her breast, moving my head, letting me relax more and more with each breath, each beat of her heart, each time I sucked on her, letting me relax more and more.

It was so nice to go deeper, hearing her voice get far away somehow, feeling the tension flow out of my body. I was so relaxed, I felt so good floating in her arms.

She pulled away and that startled me; I started to move. Then her voice came back; it was close again. She spoke to me and I relaxed, floating, and her voice drifted into the distance again, far away yet so clear. I heard her voice; she was still speaking, but it must have been to someone else. I knew I didn’t have to worry about what she said, I didn’t have to remember, and I could relax and enjoy the sensations, all the sensations.

And after a while what sensations! I felt her weight and her warmth on top of me; I felt the fur, her skin, her perfume. My arms were so heavy and hard to lift, but I got them around her waist. I found a nipple again, started sucking and drifting away, then felt my cock sliding deep inside her.

I’d never had sex before, never made love. The sensations were incredible, with her voice filling me the whole time as we moved together, she moving on top of me, me moving underneath to meet her.

I’d never had sex before, but I certainly knew when I was going to come, and I moaned as the feeling filled me, stronger, more intense than it had ever been before. Her voice was there, leading, guiding me, and she held me to her and moved her hips slowly, strongly, and I moaned and came deep within her.

Still her voice filled me, led me. She told me to wake up, bringing me up, and I opened my eyes to see her smiling above me. Before I could speak she lowered herself back on to me, my eyes closed, and her voice took me away again.

This went on for I don’t know how long, opening my eyes, somewhat awake, then drifting down to her voice, or plunging down to a hand behind my head. I’d float in bliss at her nipple, then the touch of her hand on my cheek, caressing gently, would take me so deep. Some times she spoke with her voice, others with her touch, taking me to incredible places.

Then it was soft and deep, soft and deep, her voice so far away.

I woke up and stretched, opening my eyes to see her sitting by the edge of the bed putting on her bra. I didn’t know what to say; I sighed.

“How do you feel?” she asked with a smile.

I moved a hand over near her; she took it. “Incredible. I don’t know... What happened?”

She gave my hand a squeeze as she stood up, still naked from the waist down. Her waist was beautiful, the curls of her thatch so inviting.

She laughed a little and I blushed; I could feel other parts of me quickly waking up. I was naked; not surprising considering what had been going on, but I didn’t remember shedding my clothes.

“We’ll talk about it this afternoon. Are you ready for lunch?” she said.

I sat up slowly and grabbed my shirt. “You bet; I’m starved.” I looked over at the clock; it was half past eleven. Where had the last two hours gone? I was about to ask, but she’d walked out of the room.

I got up, picking up my underwear and shorts. As I slid them on I looked at my cock; I was no longer a virgin! What a trip!

I went into the guest room; she was sitting in front of the computer. I walked up cautiously, still unsure. I put a hand on her shoulder lightly. She turned slightly and smiled, taking my hand and pulling it down on to her chest, holding it there. I put my other hand on her other shoulder and stepped more behind the chair.

“That’s better,” she said, taking my other hand and leading it to her chest. She held my hands and leaned her head back against me. “Yes, that’s much better.”

She leaned back and I felt her, watched her head slowly moving back and forth, back and forth as she held my hands. I felt myself sliding back into that other world, the motion of her head leading me away. I closed my eyes and took a deep, slow breath in through my nose, then leaned down and kissed her on the head.

She laughed softly and squeezed my hands, holding them in one of hers as she moved the other to the mouse. “I like what you’ve done here—much more organized. What else did you do?”

That brought me back to the real world. I told her what I’d done, reorganizing and getting rid of old stuff. I told her I still had more to do. We talked about performance issues; I told her she really should install more RAM; it was easy, something I could do for her.

She stood up, holding my hands as she did, so they were behind her neck as she stood. She closed her eyes and moved her head nearer to mine... I closed my eyes and we kissed.

What a difference, kissing a mature woman! I held her as her arms went around me, holding me gently. Our tongues danced, gently, slowly, not at all like the few teen girls I’d kissed before. I moved one hand to the back of her neck and held her gently, then squeezed a little as she’d done to me. She moaned a little and held me tighter, her lips and body becoming more insistent and more compliant at the same time.

She ran a hand up my spine, sending shivers through me, touching the back of my neck. As she gently squeezed I felt my knees giving way and all the strength going out of my body.

She laughed and said, “Wake up Andy, fully awake and alert now...”

I shook my head and looked into her eyes, level with mine. Her hands were around my waist, our hips pressed together. I could feel my cock stirring, alert again as I looked into her eyes with wonder.

She wiggled and gave me a sly smile. “Do we need to make love again before lunch, or can you wait?”

I laughed and stepped back a bit. “I can wait. Thank you.”

She kissed me on the nose. “Good. Why don’t you use the small bathroom. I’ll be ready to go in a minute.”

We met again by the door. We went outside; it was hot out. I squinted. It had been so nice and cool inside. My stomach flipped suddenly.

“Andy, what is it?” She put a hand on my shoulder, she must have seen the sudden change on my face.

I sighed. “I don’t know. It’s hot out here, and it was so nice and cool inside. I guess it’s my parents again. They fight about everything, including whether or not to turn on the air conditioning.”

She sighed with me. “It’s okay to have those feelings. Please tell me about them. Holding them inside, bottling them up, isn’t good for you. Understand?”

I looked at her; she had such a look of concern on her face, changing to a soft smile.

“I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of it,” I told her.

She smiled a little more. “I’ll help you; I will.”

“Thank you,” I said, and I kissed her hand.

First Lessons

We got in her car and went to a local burger place. We ordered, then sat outside; the sun felt good, except for the glare.

“Forget your sunglasses?” she asked.

I frowned. “No.”

She raised an eyebrow, extended a hand and held one of mine. “Remember what I said—tell me, please.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to drag you through this; it’s bad enough I have to go through it, but you don’t need to.”

She shook her head, looking more determined. “That’s not how it works. You need to talk about it, for your own sake. I have been dragged into it, and let me tell you right now, I’m on your side, your side. Someone’s got to look out for your interests. Got it? Now tell me, please.” Her voice softened as she spoke, her last words barely audible over the traffic noise.

I nodded. “Okay, you’re right. I’ve seen friends at school get so screwed up... Well,” I took a deep breath. “This isn’t easy...”

She said, “I know,” holding my hand softly now.

“Well, a couple of weeks ago, one evening, I’d finished the dishes, my homework, and put my books and sunglasses on the table by the door. I could tell something was really brewing between them, so I went upstairs, put on my headphones, listened to music and read. I could hear screaming even with headphones on. When I went downstairs the next morning, my books were stacked differently, the other stuff on that table had been all moved. Hell, the whole table had moved. My sunglasses weren’t there; I saw them broken in a trashcan nearby.”

“And neither of them mentioned it, or offered to replace them?”

I grunted. “Of course not. None of this is happening, remember?”

She shook her head; a gal came by with our tray, picking up the plastic number we’d been given. I didn’t know if I was hungry or not. I looked up at Aunt Beth again. Then I sort of snorted and smiled.

“That was a good one. What was that?” she asked.

I sighed again. “You’re not just Aunt Beth anymore...”

She laughed, her head going back, exposing her neck. Mmmm, her neck looked nice.

She looked at me, smiling, still laughing. “Around other people, I am most certainly your Aunt Beth.” Then she softened as she continued. “But when we’re alone together....”

As we ate we talked about a lot of things. We talked a lot about school, how I was doing, and the people around me, especially the girls. I knew I was in that weird geek/brain group; one of a dozen or so that spent a third of the day at City College. We had some good teachers at the high school, but still it felt as if we were just putting in time. Even though I was taking second year calculus, I had to sit in a pre-calculus algebra class at high school; it was “required.”

The first day of class the teacher and I had a talk; he wanted to know why in the world I was there; he knew what I was doing at City. I told him coldly it was because it was required. He gave me a seat in the back; I’d do the work. He wouldn’t bother me and I wouldn’t bother him. French was sort of the same; I was taking high school French, and at the same time second year college French. Only both teachers knew each other, and neither was cutting me any slack—I had to be on my toes all the time.

The girls at school, a lot of them, that was a different story. I had a hard time relating to them. I’d tried, but I had a hard time fitting into their world. The girls in our group of brainy, geeky folks, our “gang of twelve,” were well attached or uninterested. Yes, Donna, one of the cheerleaders, was currently my lab partner in physics but I knew why. One of my friends told me why I had a football player as my lab partner last year in chemistry; I hadn’t figured it out. Once it was explained to me in blunt terms, I helped him as much as I could. Now that I think of it, it actually was pretty funny some times.

We finished lunch and got back in the car. We drove over to a local computer store that carries Macs. “This a good place for RAM?” she asked.

“Sure, as good as any,” I told her. We went in and she bought 128 Megs of ram without blinking an eye.

Back in the car she asked, “Do you still have that same computer?”

I laughed. “Yup, it’s a Power PC, but it’s an old slow 601 with 32 Megs of RAM.”

She nodded and sighed with me. We went next to a local mall. “What do we need here?” I asked.

She looked at me as we got out of the car. “I’m replacing your sunglasses. I don’t like you squinting, and I really don’t like the thought of you riding that bike without eye protection.”

I nodded. It was about a mile from the house to City College, and another two to the high school. While I’d taken the mandatory driver training class, my parents were too busy to help me with the next steps toward getting a driver’s license, so it was my bike or my friends.

We went in and I got a pair of cool Smith Sliders. “Thank you so much,” I told her as we walked back to the parking lot. She put an arm around my shoulder and said, “You’re welcome; you deserve better than you’re getting.”

I laughed a little at that.

“What? Remember, tell me.”

I stopped as we got to her car. “I can’t believe what’s happened today. I don’t know how to thank you.”

She gave me a sly smile and touched the end of my nose. “Don’t worry...”

We drove back to her place. Once inside, I shut down the computer, and installed the new memory; it’s a snap in the new models. As I was doing that, I heard the beep of her answering machine, then my mom’s voice letting us know they were home. I snapped the second ram chip into place and closed up the computer, stepping back out into the hall.

Beth was standing there, phone in hand. I don’t know what kind of look I gave her; I wasn’t sure how I felt, but it wasn’t pleasant. She smiled.

“Hi, this is Beth returning your call,” she said into the phone, she must have gotten the machine at the house. “Andy has more work to do on the computer, so I’ll probably bring him back after dinner. Let me know if there’s any problem, otherwise, we’ll see you around nine.”

She hung up the phone and gave me a questioning look.

“Oh Andy, what are we going to do; what are we going to do?”

I walked over to her and took her hands in mine. “Whatever you want me to do.”

Her look changed; she still had a smile, but it was different. Oh how I’d get to know that smile...

“Computer fixed?” she asked.

“Let’s see. I put in the RAM but haven’t powered things up yet.”

We went into the guest room and I hit the power key on the computer. It gave us a nice “bong” sound and started up.

“Success,” I told her as I pulled down the “About this computer” menu, showing a lot more RAM. “Want me to finish up on this?” I asked her.

She gave me that smile again. “No, it’s time for some education. Go to the bathroom, then meet me in the bedroom.”

I went to the small bathroom, went to the can, then washed my face and hands. I sat on the can again for a while, then washed a bit more, then laughed at myself. I was stalling. I walked into the bedroom.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, naked. There was a cushion on the floor in front of her. She pointed to it and said, “Have a seat.”

I sat down, looking right into heaven.

“Andy, I’m going to teach you something some men never learn; I’m going to teach you how to please a woman.”

She proceeded to give me a very hands-on introduction to female anatomy and sexuality. I learned what she liked, what she didn’t, and how to tell. I learned about the soft smooth spot on the inside of her thighs, and how to stroke her gently, softly, coaxing those wonderful sounds from deep within her.

She taught me, enticed me so well. Before I knew it, I was kissing my way up her thighs, moving in for my first taste of a woman.

And oh what a taste, what sensations; the warmth, the smell. As I kissed gently she coached me, her coaching interrupted every so often by a moan as I showed her what I’d learned. After a while I noticed she wasn’t talking much, and her hips were moving in time to my adoration. I slipped a finger inside her, hooking it back to tease that special spot inside her.

Her reaction was immediate and intense. She moaned deeper and her thighs closed around my head, her hips bucking more. I felt her hands on my head. The combination of her thighs squeezing me, and the touch of a hand, sent me back into that other world.

And I was in a world that was only her, her scent, her taste, her touch. I heard her moans from far away, muffled by her thighs holding me so well.

Eventually I heard her voice asking me to stop. I gave her a kiss and sat back, my head still spinning. She was saying something; her words went past me.

“Andy, wake up, awake and alert now.”

That I heard. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. She was on the edge of the bed, panting, her eyes a little wide and unfocused. “Take off your clothes and join me,” she said. My arms and legs were still recovering from I wasn’t sure what; I got undressed and crawled on to the bed with her, lying down by her side.

“Are you okay?” I asked, concerned.

She laughed as she ran fingers down my chest.

“Oh God yes,” she panted. “You learn fast...” Her hand slid down to my cock; as she touched it I moaned and my eyes started to close. Her hand closed around me and she pulled on me as she rolled to her back. “Come here. I need you inside me.”

I moved on top of her; she guided me inside. We slid together and our legs intertwined. We both moaned. Her head arched back and I leaned down, kissing and nibbling her neck, she was so delicious. She started laughing, her hands running over me, holding, touching. Our hips moved on their own—apart, together, apart, and together again. I slid my hands under her shoulders and pulled myself into her, feeling her shake, hearing her moan. That sound fanned the fire in me; I was just along for the ride now.

Her hands moved up to my head and lifted me. I paused momentarily, coming up on my arms, my head going back, feeling her hands on the sides of my head, my eyes closed.

“Look in my eyes Andy; look in my eyes.”

I looked into her eyes, beautiful blue gray. Her hands moved on my head to around my ears and the back of my neck. She squeezed gently and started speaking again, and I fell into her.

Every sensation was so intense, every touch, every motion. I heard her voice but didn’t understand her words; she was speaking to something deep within me. I felt the sensation build again, not the quick buildup and release I’d known on my own, but a slow buildup to inevitability, building and building, breath after breath. I became aware of the sounds I was making, falling further into her, our hips moving together and apart, together and apart.

She smiled, she squeezed my head, she spoke. I fell into the abyss, collapsing on top of her, my hips still moving on their own as I pumped into her.

I gradually became aware of her hand at the back of my head again, holding me, rocking me; became aware of her voice again, not speaking so much as cooing softly, almost singing. I nestled into her neck, kissing her gently and drifted off to her voice again.

I don’t remember rolling on to my back, but that’s where I woke up. I woke to her leaning over me, her hand on my chest.

“Welcome back,” she said with a smile.

I took a deep breath, looking at her in wonder. “What a trip...”

“Like to hear a story?” she asked.

“Only if it has a happy ending,” I told her. She laughed.

I knew she was a nurse, working for a small medical group. She’d been really happy when she’d gotten that position, freeing her from the weird long hours of hospital life.

The wife of one of the docs in the group was diagnosed with cancer, and had a very rough time. Through friends she went to a hypnotherapist, much to her husband’s initial disgust, but it helped immensely. Not only had this turned the doctors around, but Beth investigated as well, and after a while she enrolled at a local school and was well on her way to certification, as well as her Master’s degree in psychology. Beth had been worried about me for some time, worried about the fallout of my parent’s warfare. This morning had presented her with the opportunity she’d been looking for.

“Not that my instructors would necessarily approve of all I’ve done, but I’m very pleased with the results,” she told me, messing up my hair.

I sighed again; that was getting to be a habit around her. “So am I... When you squeezed my head between your thighs, then touched me with your hand, I was in that other world again, so peaceful...”

She gave me a tight smile. “I wondered about that—stimulus generalization at work. My primary goal is to help you deal with what you’re going through at home.”

I picked up her hand and kissed her fingers. “Thank you. I don’t want to go through it, but if I have to, I’ll take all the help I can get. I’ve seen what it does to too many others.”

“Good. You know the first rule now.”

“Tell you what I feel,” I said softly.

She nodded and smiled. “And what do you feel now?”

I closed my eyes momentarily. “I don’t know; it’s so mixed up. I feel hungry, yet full somehow. I feel so relaxed, so safe here, feeling you next to me. And yet there’s this whole mess out there, a mess I know I have to go back and deal with, and I don’t want to, yet I know I have to. Does that make sense?” I was looking into her eyes again, wanting so much to fall into them, into that peace, that tranquility.

She smiled and slowly sat up, one hand on my chest. “Yes, it makes sense. You’re doing well. You need to explore your feelings, and more importantly, to learn that those feelings aren’t you—they’re just feelings, and they’ll fade, they’re impermanent. Does that make sense?”

I nodded. It did make sense. “But it’s going to take a while for me to believe it, to know that down deep.”

She smiled and messed up my hair again. “Yes, it’s a never-ending process. But you’re on the way now. And, I’m here to help. And when I can’t help, I know people who can.”

She grabbed a top and put it on sans bra. “But now I’ve got reading to do, and you’ve got a computer to work on. I’ve got steaks for dinner. Feel like barbecuing for us?”

I sat up. “Sure; love to. I’m the one that does the cooking around the house anymore.”

“So I understand,” she said as she stood up. “I hear you’re getting to be a pretty good cook.”

I shook my head. Mom and dad both worked. “Somebody’s got to do it. I can’t take cold cereal and Kentucky Fried Colonel that often.”

We got dressed. Beth went into the living room to read, I went back to the computer. I continued to reorganize, worked over the cable modem setup. Damn, it was fast! She had bookmarks to a bunch of hypnosis and hypnotherapy sites, so I spent some time reading. I also saw some references to kids and divorce. I read a couple of those but stopped; I’d seen too much of that shit first hand.

I’d put in about two hours; my back was a little stiff from sitting. I got up and went to the bathroom. I still had Beth’s scent on my hands and face. I closed my eyes and let the memory run from my nose to wherever it wanted. As I inhaled slowly, I could feel the sensation going from my nose down the front of my body right to my balls and my cock, a deep stirring sensation. I splashed my face with cold water and washed my hands. I started walking back to the guest room, but had a better idea.

I walked into the living room. Beth was on the couch, a book in her lap, highlighter, notepad, and pen close at hand. I walked over to her and went down on my knees in front of her. She started to speak, but I put a finger to my lips. She smiled and put the book down, leaning back.

She was wearing shorts with undies underneath. I started stroking her thighs slowly, enjoying hearing her sigh as much as I enjoyed the sensation of her smooth warm skin.

I moved a little too quickly at one point, moving to her inner thighs and getting a sharp breath and her legs moving together a bit. I backed off and took my time, rewarded after a while by her legs softening and moving apart a little.

After a while longer I was working mostly on her inner thighs, moving up under her shorts. Her legs were opening up nicely. I glanced up at her face; she looked very relaxed, smiling, eyes closed.

I moved my hands up and pulled her shorts off gently; she helped a bit, lifting her bottom and allowing me to slide them off, along with her panties.

I returned to her thighs, starting near her knees again, going slow, and letting her open up on her own.

I felt and I watched, watching her nether lips fill, seeing the moisture glisten, sensing her aroma reaching my nose, feeling the heat radiate from her, stirring those deep fires within me. Her legs were wide now, one up against the back of the couch, one down on the floor. I was at that small soft spot on the inner thigh, occasionally brushing her lips, eliciting a moan, her hips starting to rock.

I wasn’t sure quite what to do next. I knew I wanted to go down on her, I just wasn’t sure how to do it comfortably for both of us. I started moving her outer leg and she moved slowly, sort of sitting up, both legs off the couch, her bottom sticking off the edge a bit.

“Thank you,” I said softly, moving between her legs. As I moved between them, she lifted them slightly and put them on my shoulders. As I moved in, closing my eyes, feeling them close around me, her weight felt so good. As my tongue touched her and her thighs held me tight I felt myself drifting. I knew now I was drifting into trance, and I let it happen, let myself drift, but kept more awareness.

I adored her gently, paying attention to the motion of her hips, to her vocalizations, bringing her to her climax. As she reached the edge, her body tensing, her cries more urgent, I backed off slightly, holding her there at the edge as she had done to me earlier. Her cries became more urgent, her hands pulling at my hair, so I plunged into her, hopefully pushing her over the edge.

She squeezed me and shook; I could hear her muffled cries. After a bit her grip loosened and she relaxed. I slipped out of her legs, kissing the inside of a knee. I closed her knees gently.

I sat at her feet and watched. I watched her breathe, still panting slightly at first, then deepening, then becoming a little shallower as she relaxed a little more. After a couple of minutes I started to get up, to go back to working on the computer.

She raised her head and said, “Oh no you don’t. Just where do you think you’re going?”

I sat down on the floor again and smiled as she sat up, shaking her head a little, rolling her shoulders.

She looked at me with fire in her eyes. “That’s what I get for teaching you... Okay, off with the clothes... Now!”

I peeled off my shirt, then shorts and underwear. I sat there with my erection sticking up proudly. The carpet felt a little strange underneath my balls, prickly and cool.

She moved off the couch and over to me on all fours. I started to lean back.

“No, stay sitting up,” she said.

She pulled my legs out a little then sort of sat in my lap, putting her arms around me. I put mine around her shoulders and neck and we started kissing. Her kissing was hungry, that’s the only way I can describe it. I’d experienced hungry kisses before, but this was the hunger of someone who knew exactly what she wanted.

She rocked her hips, pressing against me, making me harder by the moment if that was possible. Then she moved a little, up then down, taking me into her in one motion. The sensation was intense; my head dropped back and I would have fallen over if she hadn’t been holding on to me.

We started rocking together; gradually I leaned back, until I was on my back and she was on top of me once again. There was something about having her weight on top of me that was so satisfying.

She sat up and started rocking. I moved a hand to her thatch, looking for her button. “No,” she said, moving a hand behind her.

Her hand touching my balls cut off all thought. She was riding me, fondling me at the same time, and I was bucking underneath her. “Come when you want to; come when you want to,” she started to chant.

I felt it building and building, hearing myself moan, hearing myself as if it was another person somewhere. I opened my eyes, yearning for her nipples, so far away. I reached for them but was too late; I was coming deep inside her again, feeling something different this time, as if I was pushing against something with the tip of my cock.

As I came she ground her hips around slowly, her head back, both of us savoring the sensations.

She leaned forward and I got the nipple I wanted so much. I started sucking and my eyes were drifting closed when she said, “No, stay here with me, stay alert and awake.”

I moved to give her a nip with my teeth but thought better about it and just enjoyed the sensations, feeling her weight on top of me, so fulfilling.

I started slipping after a bit. She coughed, accelerating the process, moving off me.

There we were again, me on my back, her sitting next to me, hand on my chest.

“Hello again,” I said, “We seem to be meeting a lot like this recently.”

She laughed. “Yes, and it’s great.”

“What did I feel that time? It felt like I was pushing against something.”

She looked at me and sighed. “You were, lover, you were. You filled me up. You were pushing up against my cervix, and let me tell you, it’s an incredible sensation. Only one other man has ever done that.”

She called me a “man.”

“God, do you know how that makes me feel?” I said softly.

“What?” she said, now concerned.

“You called me a man,” I said, sitting up.

She smiled and moved closer, hugging me. I wrapped my arms around her to hug her back.

“You are,” she said. “You are a wonderful, intelligent, caring, gentle, and compassionate man. It’s your caring and compassionate side that’s causing you the pain.”

Suddenly I was overwhelmed with emotion, clutching at her desperately, crying.

“What’s wrong; what’s wrong Andy? Tell me. Tell me.”

It took me a while before I could talk. “I haven’t been hugged in so long. Touching, feeling, holding, being held...”

She held me, rocked me gently while I cried, saying softly, “I’ve got you; I’ve got you.”

It took me a while, but I finally sat up. She wiped my face with her top, kissing away some of the tears.

“Is this what growing up is about?” I asked, still with a choked voice.

She smiled softly; I could see the moisture in her eyes as well. “I’m afraid so, except you’re doing it faster and more intensely than most. But you’re also learning to let the feelings out, which some people never learn to do.”

“Like Dad,” I said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him show emotion, other than anger.”

She nodded her head. “Hold it in and it will tear you apart.” She held me close again. “Any time you need to be held, you need to cry, to talk to someone, I’m here.”

I held her close for a bit, then we moved apart.

“I feel older...” I said.

She put a hand on my knee. “Welcome to the real world. Sometimes it’s ugly; sometimes it’s beautiful. A lot of the time you can’t choose which.”

I sighed and looked over at the clock—a little after five. “Show me the barbecue, and I’ll get to work.”

She laughed a little and stood up. “That’s the approach; do what needs to be done; don’t dwell in the past. We should get dressed first.”

We did, and she showed me the barbecue, out on her porch. I got the charcoal started; it would take about 40 minutes the way I did it. The steaks were on the kitchen counter. I hunted for the pepper grinder and some garlic salt and seasoned them, then put together a salad.

Beth came into the kitchen, carrying a bottle of red wine and a book. “I like what you did with the computer,” she said, setting things down on the counter, then snitching a slice of radish from the salad bowl.

I looked at the book; “Thoughts Without a Thinker.”

“What’s this?” I asked.

She said, “Read it. It will help keep you sane, believe me.”

I looked at her, put an arm around her waist. “I need all the help I can get,” I said, and hugged her.

After we parted, she opened the wine bottle. “I want to pry, if you don’t mind,” she asked.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Your parents don’t hug you, or each other?”

I frowned. “I’m surprised they sleep in the same room any more. Dad never hugged me, that I can remember. Mom pretty much stopped a few years ago; I think Dad had something to do with it.”

She nodded sadly. “Your father and I came from a family that was never very physical or showed much affection; I got more hugs than he did growing up; he’s always held things so tight. Daniel was so affectionate, always touching, holding, hugging. He taught me so much.”

I felt the lump in my throat, saw the moisture and the far away look in her eyes; I moved to her and held her close. This was the first time in quite a while I’d heard her mention her husband. He’d died almost two years ago in a car crash. It had left her well off financially, but alone, so alone. Now I was beginning to understand how alone.

“I’ve got you; I’m here holding you,” I said softly, holding, rocking gently. Now it was her turn to cry. I held her quietly, holding her head to my shoulder, feeling her dampness wet my shirt and my skin, feeling my own tears move down my face. Two years ago she’d been at least a head taller then me; now I was a couple of inches taller than her, holding her, trying to comfort her.

I had questions I couldn’t ask. Was I her first lover since her husband? Oh, don’t go there, don’t even start. I held her tighter, concentrating on the feeling, just feeling, holding, rocking.

Eventually we both calmed down enough to step back. I dried her face; she dried mine.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“Thank you,” I replied, “I’ll do whatever I can, whatever you teach me.”

She smiled and held my hands. “What you just did can’t be taught.”

I gave her a kiss on the forehead; she did the same to me.

Then she reached for two wine glasses. I gave her a questioning look.

“Red meat needs red wine. You’re here to learn. I suppose you’ve never had a drink before?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Beer and some booze at parties, but you know Dad.”

She frowned. “Your father is a prude. I hope he learns some day, I really do. But he’s got his own path to walk, as do we all.”

With that, she poured two glasses and handed me one. I raised mine to hers. “As do we all,” I said.

I had a sip; it was good. She then showed me the fine art of tasting a wine; swirling, smelling, gargling, tasting. I had to laugh again.

“What now?”

“So many new sensations in one day, so many,” I told her.

She looked me in the eye. “I agree... How’s our fire going?”

I put down my glass as I looked at the clock. “Should be just about there. I’ll check.”

The coals were ready, so I set the grill in place. I cooked our steaks while Beth did garlic bread. When I brought our steaks inside, she’d set the table, even lit candles. I sat at her side.

We talked as we ate; I finished my glass of wine and switched to water. During the salad I suddenly stopped and stared at her, taking her hand and squeezing it.

“What is it, Andy?” she asked, putting down her fork.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve actually had a conversation with someone during dinner?”

She raised her eyebrows and nodded her head. “Those fools don’t know what they’re missing, do they?”

I shook my head. “They sure don’t. I don’t understand it, I really don’t.”

She sighed. “I don’t think anyone does.”

We finished dinner and cleaned up together. I told Beth, “I’m used to doing this by myself, while my parents go to opposite corners and build up venom.”

She put a hand on my shoulder. She didn’t need to say anything.

We talked more after dinner. We talked about school, how I felt, how I would deal with the feelings that came up. We talked about my parents; I knew they were headed for divorce; I was trying to figure out how to get through that experience with a minimum of damage, and still be able to go to college.

We paused for a moment; it was about seven thirty. “Go to the bathroom then come back here,” Beth told me.

I did that, returning to the couch. She had her notepad in her hand, reviewing something.

“Okay, on your back for me. I’d like to hypnotize you again and work with you to help you deal with what you’re going through. Would you like that?”

I looked at her; I was a bit apprehensive, even though I knew she’d hypnotized me so may times already in a single day.

“Yes, I would like that very much.”

She must have sensed my apprehension. “Relax, you’re very good at this already. Close your eyes and relax, let my voice carry you to that special place...” As she spoke, she ran her fingers down my arm. I wanted it so much; I let all the air out and sank away...

“Two, moving around again, taking another deep breath, and three, wide awake, refreshed, and alert.”

I opened my eyes, moving on the couch. I’d been crying. I looked at Beth; so had she. She straightened her shoulders and back. “How are you now?” she asked, professional cheer in her voice.

I put a hand on her knee. “Better. How about you?” There was concern in my voice, emotion.

She sighed, slumping forward a bit. “I’m not going to be able to fool you, am I?” she said.

I smiled. “Why would you want to? Don’t hold it in, remember?”

She chuckled. “You’re right. It was tough. I may not be the right person to do this; I’m close to you, and getting closer. But you need the help. Can you feel the difference?”

I closed my eyes momentarily, opening them again. “I can feel something. I feel stronger, I don’t know, more tolerant or something. But...” I moved slowly to sitting up.

“But what?” she said softly.

“Beth, I don’t know, even if you can’t help me this way, what we did the rest of the day...”

She gave me that wry smile; I saw her nostrils flare, something she’d taught me to watch for. She put her hands on my shoulders, around my neck and started pulling me to her.

“Don’t you worry, that’s not going to stop.”

We had one more long, soft kiss. The clock struck half past the hour: 8:30.

“Time to take you back to Beirut,” Beth said, only half jokingly.

I nodded. It was time to go.

We drove in silence. She went in with me. Surprisingly, my parents were actually sitting closer than fifteen feet apart; it actually looked as if they were sharing a bottle of wine. We got half smiles from them. I could tell Mom was worn out, probably from crying. Suddenly I felt sorry for them, both of them, but especially for Dad.

We talked for a few minutes. Beth told them I’d worked on her computer, even cooked steaks. She told them she’d gotten me a pair of sunglasses to thank me for the work I’d done. Dad twinged a little at that, and Mom sighed a little.

The silence grew cold again. I said to Beth, “I’m glad to help, Aunt Beth, thanks.” I went over to mom and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you. I’m going to bed.” I went over to dad, leaned over and kissed him on the forehead and said, “I love you, dad.” I would have looked him in the eye, but he glanced down, avoiding eye contact. I went upstairs, cleaned up, and went to bed.

School Daze

I hadn’t asked Beth when I’d see her again, when I’d be able to hold her again. Dad took off early Sunday morning. I fixed breakfast for mom and me, then took care of the lawns. I read; the library had gotten in some French literature I’d wanted. Every once in a while that afternoon I’d give mom a hug. Not a word spoken, just soft hugs.

Late in the afternoon I asked her, “Will dad be home for dinner?” She shrugged her shoulders. I barbecued chicken, fixing enough for all of us. He did show up. I made a rice dish I know he likes. We ate silently; I cleaned up afterwards and went up to my room without a sound. Meet me halfway...

The week fell into the usual routine; school, study, fix dinner, clean up, study, bed. Mom and dad had more “appointments” in the evenings; the screaming seemed to decrease. I began to get hopeful.

My first class in the morning is French at City College. From there I go to high school, for what’s called “study hall.” What a waste. I have to show up; I’ve told them I could be so much more productive anywhere else. No dice; be where you’re supposed to be. My friend Betty explained it as a funding issue: they got so many dollars per butt-hour. She’s good with a phrase. Just another butt-hour is what I felt like to the high school administration.

The next class was algebra. One of the gals in both study hall and algebra with me, also a senior and one of the cheerleaders, is Sherry. I’d tried talking to her before. I wasn’t in her world; it didn’t work. But I remembered what Beth told me: be yourself, don’t try to be someone else. Tuesday in study hall I saw her struggling with the algebra book. I went up to her and softly said, “I can help you with that if you’d like.”

She turned to me (on me, really) and gave me a nasty look. “What?” she said sharply.

I went down on one knee so we were at eye level. “If you’d like, I can help you with algebra. I’m offering to help. I didn’t mean to intrude.” I looked at her for a moment, watching emotions wash through her. I stood up and moved back to my seat at another table, back to my reading—Voltaire’s “Candide” in French.

I watched her in math that day; she was having problems. I’d made my offer. Once again, meet me halfway....

The next morning in study hall she actually came up to me. “Will you help me?”

I nodded, picked up my books and moved over next to her. I started where we were in the book, working through problems, explaining, asking her questions, explaining a little more, asking questions. It was tough work, and pretty soon the period was over.

The next period in math I paid more attention to what was going on, Ellis’s explanations, and Sherry’s reactions. I even took notes; I thought he could use better examples.

We worked together in study hall. I had a better feeling for what she didn’t know, which was a lot. I got her to actually ask me questions. Thursday in class she even put up her hand and asked Ellis a question. That shocked the hell out of Ellis, and gave me a warm feeling I can’t describe.

Friday morning he gave us a pop quiz. He told us we could leave once we’d finished. I looked it over; did it in about five minutes. Then I sat there. Sherry trembled; she took half an hour. She was one of the last to leave. Finally it was just Ellis and I in the room, the door closing behind the last student.

He looked at me. “Certainly that didn’t tax you, Mister Wilson.”

I walked up to his desk.

“No sir. I’ve been tutoring Sherry in study hall. I want to see how she did.”

He looked at me, then smiled. “You’ve been attentive these last few days; I’d wondered why.”

He dug through the sheets and found hers. It had a spot on one corner—it looked like a tear. I thought I was going to cry. We looked it over together. She had the idea, but made a lot of stupid errors.

We looked at each other again. I shook my head. He smiled, then laughed and held out his hand.

I raised mine slowly; he shook my hand. He said, “Congratulations. This is an incredible turnaround for her, the best she’s done by far.”

I was stunned. I sat on the corner of the desk. He looked at me again. “It’s only easy for a few of you. For a lot of these kids, they’ll never get it. You’ve helped her. Keep it up. Would you like to see the other quizzes as well, the first screening exam?”

I nodded my head. He’d given us a screening test at the beginning of the year. I’d finished it in about twenty minutes, making one bonehead arithmetic error. He fished through his case, pulled out the papers and put them in a folder.

He handed them to me. “Please don’t let anyone see these; bring them back when you’re finished. You’re making a difference. Hell, you got her to ask a question.”

I started chuckling at that. We talked for a while longer; he’d been talking to my instructor over at City College; he told me I was loafing and they both knew it, but that was going to change. I was about to ask him what that meant when the bell rang again; I had two minutes to get to class.

As I picked up my stuff hurriedly he asked, “What do you have next?”

“English with Murray,” I told him.

“She’s good people,” he said, “I’ll walk you over; you’re going to be late.”

“Thank you, sir,” I told him.

“No, thank you Mister Wilson. I’m very happy you’ve decided to help.”

I was thinking about her papers, what to do, as I rode up to the house that afternoon. I’d come straight home from math at City College. When I pulled around the corner on my bike, I saw Beth’s car in the driveway. My heart was already racing from the final push up the hill; now it really started going.

I pulled up to the garage door and waved; she was reading as usual. She put down her book and got out of the car, picking up a small box.

“Hi there. You got home early. I was expecting to wait a bit longer,” she said.

I was panting, probably grinning like a fool. I punched the code into the garage door keypad and the door opened. Dad didn’t trust me with a house key. As I parked my bike she asked, “Invite me in?”

I laughed, still panting a little as I leaned my bike against the wall and took off my helmet. “Of course, please come in.”

She walked in to the garage. I went in the door to the house and quickly turned off the burglar alarm. I heard the garage door closing, and turned to see Beth coming in the door behind me. She put the box down next to my bag on the washing machine.

We kissed and hugged passionately. She pushed me up against the wall, kissing me with her whole body.

“When do your parents get home?” she asked breathlessly.

“Not until five thirty at the earliest,” I said. That was in about an hour and a half.

We kissed again. We hurried upstairs to my room. It was hot and stuffy upstairs, so I paused in the hallway to turn on the air conditioning. I’d turn it off before my parents got home, but dammit, I wanted to be comfortable; I wanted us to be comfortable.

Beth was half undressed when I got into my room. Luckily, it was fairly clean. I quickly stripped and we kissed again, skin against skin. She pushed me back against the bed; I tried holding on to her so we’d fall on to it together, but she resisted. “Sit on the edge for me, Andy,” she panted.

I sat on the edge of my small bed. She gave me a look of lust and stepped forward, putting her hands on my head, drawing me slowly to her breast. My eyes started to close on their own; I was slipping fast, feeling her warmth, smelling her perfume, feeling her hands at the back of my head.

I made contact with her nipple and was lost in another world. We made love on my bed; she was on top of me. We were both so hungry. I found her button as she sat on top of me, bringing her quickly to a quivering climax. Then she lowered herself on top of me, put a hand behind my head holding me to a nipple, and I was in heaven.

Afterwards her voice took me deep, so deep again. She talked with someone for a while. I remember feelings, intense feelings, both good and bad. It was like watching a movie, things happening to someone else. I knew they were just sensations, impermanent, they would change. She let me drift for a while, floating in her embrace, in her softness and warmth.

I woke up to her getting dressed. “I needed that,” she told me.

I sighed. “So did I; so did I. What else happened?”

She laughed softly. “Some therapy as well. You’re doing well. I gave you some things to help.”

I looked at the clock as I got dressed; about an hour had passed. “I feel like I’ve had a long nap,” I told her.

We held each other, hip to hip. “So do I. It’s wonderful, so refreshing.”

We kissed again. Then she asked, “Walk me out?”

“Of course.”

I walked her back out to her car. Standing in the dark garage before I hit the opener button we hugged again. “Beth, oh Beth, hugs are so wonderful. Thank you so much.”

She squeezed me and sighed. “Andy, you’re so welcome. I need it as well. Oh, the box is for you.”

We exchanged quick kisses on the nose; I opened the garage door and saw her out. After she drove off, I closed the door and went back into the house. I put the chicken in the oven to roast; marinated chicken and garlic, roasted low and slow; it was an easy dinner and always good.

Back upstairs I opened the box; it was from a mail-order place, the invoice had been removed. Inside were a G3 processor upgrade card for my old Mac, and 128 Megs of RAM! It took about twenty minutes to install, and I was caught up to the modern world again, from 601 to G3! Things were so fast! I picked up the phone in my room; my parents had gotten me my own phone line—I used it mainly for the computer. I called Beth, but got her answering machine. I thanked her for the goodies. I was unsure of what else to say, so I just left it as being really happy to see her again.

I even remembered to turn off the air conditioning before my parents got home.

I didn’t get a chance to look at the Sherry’s math papers until after dinner. I took notes, putting together a plan of attack, started sketching out problems. Mom and dad went to another “appointment” Saturday morning, but left me home. Should I call Beth?

I worked out material for Sherry, spending a little too much time on it. I went over to a copy place Sunday afternoon and made copies of what I had for Ellis and my own use.

When I met Sherry in study hall Monday she saw me, and her head went down. I sat down next to her. She’d talk to me in study hall, but outside of that room, I didn’t exist. I’d walked right by her at lunch, she’d walked by me, not a word, not a glance. Oh well, that’s what I got. No problem. I remembered the feeling I had when she raised her hand and asked a question; that had been payback enough.

“What’s the matter?” I asked her softly.

“That quiz on Friday—I really fucked up.”

I shook my head and pulled out the stuff I’d put together. “Don’t talk like that. It took me quite a while to learn this. You’re doing fine.” I showed her what I’d put together and started going through it, step by step, starting pretty much at the beginning. Pretty soon the bell rang. We headed off to algebra; she managed to avoid walking close to me.

Ellis is a real piece of work in some respects. When he returns quizzes, he returns the highest paper first, and so on down the line. He never tells people what the other grades are, but you know just the same. We sat there waiting. He stood up.

“Guess who,” he called out. Some grumbling came from the crowd, but no surprise. Betty Chan and I both stood up, and looked at each other. Betty is three years younger than me; she’s skipped a few grades. If I’m smart, she’s scary smart. She’d be a junior next year, and be at City College for sure.

After we picked up ours, he continued down the list. After a bit he called out, “Miss Jennings.”

I looked up in shock. Sherry looked up in shock; she squeaked. A lot of the class looked up in shock. She was usually one of the last names called. She stood up and walked to the front of the room. Ellis handed her paper and said softly, “Congratulations. Keep it up.” On her way back to her desk she actually looked at me and smiled! I almost fell over. I looked across the room at Betty; she sat in the other back corner. She gave me a strange look and a smile.

We went over the quiz; I paid attention to Sherry. Ellis actually called on her to explain the solution to a problem. She started out hesitantly, but her voice got stronger as she went. She explained it pretty much the way I’d taught her, which was different from what Ellis or the book showed. He nodded to her and said, “Yes, that’s a very good approach.” Then he gave me a strange look.

When the bell rang for the end of class we went up and turned in our quiz papers. As I dropped mine on his desk he said, “Stick around, Mister Wilson.” I stopped. Actually, I wanted to talk to him anyway, so I hung back.

When everyone else was gone, I pulled the folder from my bag and handed it to him. He saw the quizzes, then the fifteen or so pages I’d put together. “What’s this?” he asked.

I told him it was what I’d put together for Sherry, and showed him how far we’d gotten that morning; I told him I welcomed his comments, as I wasn’t sure how to teach some of the material.

He looked me in the eye and said, “So this job is a maybe a little harder than it looks?”

I smiled. “Yes sir, much harder. Thank you for your dedication.”

We shook hands again. I left the room and headed off to English.

Lunch was about the same; at one point Sherry walked by with a group of her cheerleader friends; she never even looked at me.

But Betty stopped by, sitting down next to me, grinning through her glasses.

She sat close and whispered conspiratorially, “So you’ve been tutoring someone, I hear.”

I smiled and asked, “Just what do you hear?”

She giggled. “That you’ve been helping a certain cheerleader with math. It certainly shows. I was very surprised.”

“Well, outside of study hall she doesn’t know I exist, but I’m glad to see it helps.”

“What did Ellis want?”

I sighed again. “I’ve been talking to him about how to help. My opinion of him has changed; he’s a good guy.”

We talked about the class for a bit; how the book sucked, how it could be better if he skipped around a bit (as I was doing in my tutoring). Betty surprised me by telling me the sequence was mandated by the head of the math department; she’d complained about it as well. She asked me about the math teachers at City; which ones I liked, what books they used. Her mom was helping her through the first year Calculus book. I offered to help her, but told her I wasn’t sure if I could. She laughed and told me she’d like that, then took off to talk with some Asian friends.

What a trip. The rest of the week passed by. Ellis liked my “lesson plan” a lot. He told me I was optimistic about how quickly we’d get through it. He was right. But, Sherry caught on fast. She was even attentive in class, asking questions. It seemed to be contagious; some others were now asking questions as well. It felt good, almost as good as a hug from Beth.

Heaven and Hell

Another week and a half or so passed. I got home from school on a Wednesday and saw a note on the fridge in dad’s writing. It said, “Dinner for four.” No “please,” or “thanks,” let alone “love, dad.” What did I expect? Actually it was an improvement, I told myself, more communication than I’d had from him in a while.

The weather was turning cold, so I did a beef casserole with noodles. I had to ride over to the grocery store to get mushrooms and pearl onions. I put a cup of red wine in the sauce; it smelled great. I set the table for four, then sat at the kitchen table and did homework.

Mom got home first. “Mmmm, that smells wonderful. Thanks so much.” I got up and gave her a hug. She seemed to be smiling a little these days.

“Who’s coming for dinner?” I asked.

An eyebrow raised, she said, “Your father didn’t tell you?”

I pointed to the note on the fridge. She looked at it and sighed, shaking her head.

I laughed a bit and told her, “It’s okay mom, it’s the most he’s said to me in a while; it’s an improvement.”

She actually smiled a bit. “Yes, an improvement. Actually, his sister is coming over.”

I was shocked, surprised. But strangely, interestingly, calm immediately settled over me. I had the feeling if I closed my eyes and listened, I’d be able to hear Beth’s voice preparing me for such an occasion.

“It will be good to see her,” I said.

Mom looked at me expectantly, as if she was about to say something, then went upstairs.

Dad got home a little later. He came in through the kitchen; I was working on the salad.

He actually smiled a little and said, “Smells great son.” But he walked out of the room before I could say anything back to him.

I’d put three wine glasses on the table, pouring the rest of the bottle. I had a big glass of milk. Well, I’d had a few sips of the wine right from the bottle; it did go great with the dish I’d prepared.

Beth arrived shortly before dinner. I had a moment alone with her in the kitchen and asked quietly, “What the hell is going on?”

She smiled and said, “Don’t worry. Remember: calm and relaxed.” The way she said it, combined with touching me on the forehead, put that blanket of calm back over me. I knew it was for my benefit.

I nodded my head and said, “Thank you.”

We sat down to dinner; I served. Beth tried to get conversation going. It was easy with mom, and with me. Surprisingly, dad even spoke a little.

Dinner and the conversation wound down. I wished I’d had the time to bake a pie. At one point mom looked at dad questioningly. He nodded and looked at Beth, who just smiled. He then looked at me.

“Son, I know things haven’t been smooth around here lately.”

No shit, I thought. But I still had that blanket over me. I remembered Beth’s voice saying, “Calm and relaxed,” and that touch of her finger.

“Your mother and I have decided to take a vacation cruise together. We’ll be gone for two weeks. We’ve talked it over with Aunt Beth, and we want you to stay with her for that period.”

Calm and relaxed, calm and relaxed... What was that line about the duck? Calm and collected on the surface, paddling madly underneath?

I looked at him and with surprising calm said, “I’d be fine here by myself.”

I saw my mom smile but kept my attention on dad. “We’ve discussed that,” he said, “but we’d feel more comfortable if you were with Beth. We could put off the trip if you’d rather not.”

That had my mom shocked; he was giving me an opportunity to squirrel the whole deal; no dice, dad.

“No, I think it’s important for you to have the time together; you need a vacation. I’ll stay with Aunt Beth. When were you thinking of going?”

Dad looked at mom; he actually smiled a little. Was it forced? I wanted to think not, but it had been so long since I’d seen him smile.

Mom said, “We’re leaving this Saturday morning and will return Sunday two weeks later.”

Three days—wow. Calm and relaxed, calm and relaxed. I actually looked over at Beth. She had a poker face; I wondered if hers was supported the same way mine was. Two weeks living with her—I hoped she was as excited as I was.

“We’ll have to work out details on getting back and forth,” I told her.

She nodded and smiled a little. “I’m sure it won’t be a problem. We can talk about it after dinner.”

Calm and relaxed... Calm and relaxed... I leaned forward a bit so people couldn’t see my heart thumping madly. I nodded slowly, then picked up my water glass. I turned to mom and dad again and raised my glass. I saw Beth raise hers.

“Bon Voyage,” I said, and raised my glass a little higher. Mom and dad picked up their wine glasses and the four of us clinked our glasses together and drank a toast.

As we stood up, mom came over and gave me a hug, saying, “Thank you for understanding.”

Dad came over and before he could say anything, I gave him a hug. He said, “Thank you, son,” but didn’t hug me back. Ah well, some progress.

Surprisingly, they all helped me clear the table. Dad even picked up his dishes and took them into the kitchen. As we were doing this, Beth said, “Andy, we could take some things over tonight if you wanted, and talk about logistics.”

I looked at her: calm and relaxed, calm and relaxed. “That would be good. My buddy David usually gives me rides to and from City. I’ll see if he can help out. We’ve got pretty much the same schedule.”

Everyone thought that was a good idea. I got a cardboard box from the garage and went upstairs to load up some clothes. That didn’t take too long; I figured I’d have plenty of time and be making a few trips, probably spending the afternoons here between the time school got out and Beth got through work.

Beth and my mom were talking when I came downstairs. They stopped as I approached. I went by them and loaded the box into Beth’s car. Beth came out of the house, walking with my dad; he actually seemed to be smiling.

“Ready to go?” Beth asked.

“Guess so,” I said, my heart racing again. We got in the car. Beth called out, “We’ll probably stop for pie afterwards. See you in a couple of hours.” We drove away.

I was freaking out. Calm and relaxed wasn’t working very well, sitting next to her. We drove about three blocks and Beth pulled over to the side of the road, parking the car. I turned to her as she turned to me. We kissed hungrily, passionately, seat belts still holding us in place.

When we came up for air I said, “I don’t believe it. This is incredible.”

Beth laughed; I wanted to bite her neck as her head went back. “I know. I almost wet my pants when they called to ask me about it a few days ago.”

I ran my fingers over her thigh. “Thank you so much for calm and relaxed... You saved me—again.”

She sighed and looked at me, picking my hand up from her thigh. “I had a hunch that would come in useful. You’re teaching me to go with my intuition.” Then she started laughing, hard this time.

Finally I asked. “What is it? Please.”

She slowed down a little, wiping her eyes. “When you were coming downstairs, your mom and I talking?”

“Yes...”

“She asked me to give you the birds and the bees talk—she didn’t feel comfortable doing it, and she knew your father wouldn’t.”

I started laughing. “And so what did you tell her?”

She gave me a sudden somber look. “I told her I’d take care of it.”

I looked in her eyes. “There’s more to it than that...”

She smiled, patting my hand. “You’re right. We’ll talk about it later. Right now we have other things to do.”

We headed over to her place. On the way we talked schedules. Dropping me off at City College on her way to work in the morning wasn’t a problem. We could even put my bike on her car, or in the back. I suggested she could pick me up at the house after she got off work; she smiled and said she had some things to check on. I also told her I’d check with David about rides between the high school and City College; that would be important, especially if it rained. He usually gave me rides to the high school.

We pulled into her garage. I got the box and followed her in. I thought we’d make it to the bedroom. We didn’t; we ended up on the living room floor. We pulled off our clothes and I was on top of her, sliding into her, her legs wrapping around mine. We kissed as we humped hurriedly. I moved up on my elbows, pushing into her. She cried out, “Oh God, don’t stop now.” As her head arched back, I leaned down and kissed her neck. Her hands found my head, held me tight, and I came inside her.

She started laughing softly, rocking me back and forth. I held her, laughing as well. We kissed again.

“Sorry about the rush. I promise, I’ll do better,” I told her.

She hugged me again. “Oh Andy, this is going to be great. And I’m not complaining...”

I kissed her cheek. “Well, a little more foreplay would be nice...”

She sighed. “We’ll have time; we’ll have time.”

We sat up and got dressed. “So where should I put my things?” I asked, grinning.

She gave me a lusty look, her nostrils flaring. “Your clothes can go in the guest room, but you’re not sleeping there...”

I put a hand on hers. “You know what I’m looking forward to most?”

She smiled. “What?”

“Holding you after making love. Holding you and going to sleep holding you.”

She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “I’m looking forward to it as well. There’s only one problem.”

“What’s that?”

She shook her head slowly side to side, but she smiled. “You’re never going to want to sleep alone again.”

We hugged some more. “Let’s get you back to the house.”

“What, no pie?”

She swatted me on the rear. “You’ve had your dessert. Let’s go.”

We talked again Thursday afternoon; she’d arranged for a friend of hers to pick me up at City College after class and take me to her place. When I started to complain that was too much of a burden on people, she told me it wasn’t, and besides, she expected to come home to a wonderful meal every night.

I laughed and added my favorite cookbooks to my miscellaneous box of stuff. I’d take clothes, all the school stuff I’d need, even the computer; it would make life easier.

Friday night we took over a bigger load of stuff. We actually made two trips, with no funny business (well, not very much).

Bon Voyage

Saturday morning I fixed Eggs Benedict for the four of us, a Bon Voyage breakfast. We loaded the rest of my stuff, including my bike, into Beth’s car. We got mom and dad’s stuff loaded into theirs; they’d be leaving their car at the harbor. We pretty much all left together. I actually saw mom and dad holding hands!

We were just about to get on the freeway. “Damn—forgot my bike helmet.”

Beth looked around quickly and moved to the left lane. “No problem, we’re closer now than we will be.”

We doubled back to the house. She pulled into the driveway. I hopped out, opened the panel for the garage door opener, and punched in the number. Nothing happened. I punched it in again. Nothing. I tried a third time. The red light came on and it beeped; the panel was locked out for a minute or two. Then it dawned on me.

“Holy shit! The bastard locked me out of my own house!” I was hopping mad.

Beth got out of the car. “What’s the matter?”

I was furious. “The bastard changed the code for the garage door. He’s never trusted me with a house key. He locked me out!”

Beth tried to talk me down. We waited until the red light on the panel cleared and tried again. I hit the numbers slowly, 7—5—4—9. No green light, no door opening, and after the third attempt the red light came on again. I was so mad I was shaking. Then Beth put a hand on me and said something softly. The anger disappeared as I exhaled, and I felt calmer, softer. I turned and held her. “Thank you. I shouldn’t let such things bother me.”

We got in the car and headed off. I was calmer, but still shaking my head.

“Why would he do that?” she asked.

“I don’t know, I really don’t know. What if I need something important?”

Beth put a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry. Yesterday they came by my office and signed a power of attorney, and gave me copies of insurance and other important papers. The high school has been notified. We’ll get you a new helmet.”

We unloaded everything at her place and I got settled in, hooking up the computer, putting away clothes, books.

“I’m sure glad I got all my school stuff. Damn! I’ve got a library book due next week, and it’s locked up in that damn house!”

She put a hand on my shoulder again. “We can reach them through the cruise line.”

I shook my head and took a deep breath. “No, he doesn’t want me in that house. Sounds good to me.” I turned to her. She had a look of concern on her face. She took my hands in hers.

“You’re not there, you’re here. You’re here with me, remember? Right here, right now.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, took a breath, remembering what I’d read in the book she gave me. Let go of it.

I opened my eyes again. “Thank you. I wish them well. I wish them peace. I hope they can find an answer.”

We hugged for a bit. She started rocking me back and forth slowly. I nestled in and started unwinding; it felt so good to relax in her arms.

“Feel like a nap?” she asked.

“Afterwards?”

We went into the bedroom and undressed each other; that was special, something I hadn’t done before. We lay down on the bed and kissed again, exploring, rolling back and forth. After a while I went down on her, kissing, adoring, feeling those thighs squeezing my head, hearing her moan as she shook.

Then she was on top of me. I sighed as she lowered herself down, something so fulfilling about her weight on top of me. We made love gently, slowly. She took me to the edge and held me there, time after time, until I was so lost. Then she pushed me gently over the edge, kissing as I came.

We held each other, pulling the bedspread over us, I curled up to her back putting one arm under her neck, the other over her waist, holding her as we went to sleep.

I woke up and she held me to her breasts, my head between them, feeling her heart beating. After a while we got up; we had things to do.

We sat around naked planning meals. We were having a guest Sunday night for dinner; Beth wasn’t talking other than to say she was a friend and would be picking me up from school and bringing me back here. She also told me with a grin that she’d give me a key, when I had a pocket to put it in.

Eventually we got dressed. We did our grocery shopping, even picked up a new helmet for me, although it didn’t look like I’d be using it for a while. We’d try to barbecue that night, but it looked like rain, and we were probably going to have rain for the next few days. It was moving down from the North, so mom and dad should have a good cruise, going South to Mexico.

I had homework to do, and so did Beth—we agreed on a truce until after dinner.

I barbecued some lamb, and made a mint-chipotle sauce to go with it. It turned out great. We had a salad and red wine in addition. We cleaned up the kitchen together, then spent more time doing homework.

I looked up as I heard Beth close a book noisily. She stood up and stretched, catlike—very sexy catlike, especially the way she looked at me as she did it. I closed my stuff up.

“Ready?” she asked as she walked up to me.

I stood and put my hands on her waist. My heart was going fast. We cleaned up in the bathroom, and then went into the bedroom. She turned down the bed and we crawled in. I was almost giddy, dizzy from her perfume and from anticipation. We kissed, running our hands over each other, and made love gently but passionately.

She was on her back when I slid into her. That first contact is so intense, for both of us. She spread her legs, pulling her knees up a little. I moaned as I moved in and out of her.

“Oh Beth—help me please, or I’m going to come so quickly,” I pleaded.

She wrapped her legs around mine and started rocking underneath me. “No,” she whispered, her hands moving to my waist and bottom. I couldn’t hold back—my body took over and I quickly came inside her, collapsing down on top of her. She held me as my heart continued to pound.

“Oh Andy, that was nice. Sometimes you need to let go and let it happen.”

We slid apart after a while, and went to sleep snuggled up together.

Waking up in bed next to someone wasn’t what I’d expected—it was incredibly better—holding, snuggling, drifting off to sleep again. I also learned that lovemaking is more enjoyable on an empty bladder.

I fixed us breakfast, and we studied and read the paper. We went for a run together before lunch. It was turning dark and cloudy, threatening rain. We needed it—the run, and the rain. The temperature dropped a lot when we were just a few blocks from Beth’s place—we were both getting cold when we got to the door.

We knew just how to warm up, stripping quickly and rolling around on the bed. I was lost once I started sucking on a nipple, and ended up on my back. Beth held me to her as she spoke softly, sending me floating. Then she rode us both, bringing me to the edge and holding me there for so long, finally releasing me, rocking me to sleep in her embrace.

We showered together after our nap, another very enjoyable experience. Then I got to work on our dinner. I was being fairly ambitious—a curried lamb dish I hadn’t done before.

It continued to cool off outside, and the rain started about four. By five it was coming down in buckets.

The doorbell rang around five thirty—we both ran to get it, with Beth getting to the door first. She let in a woman in her early forties, wearing a raincoat, and carrying an umbrella.

“We need the rain, but not all at once!” she exclaimed. Beth laughed and helped her with umbrella and coat.

“Andy, this is my good friend Emily Carmichael. She will be picking you up at City in the afternoons and driving you here.”

I shook her hand. “I hope I’m not inconveniencing you,” I told her. She had a nice smile.

“Not at all, Andy. Beth told me a lot about you.”

Oh? I had to return to the kitchen to check dinner, but brought her a glass of wine.

“Thank you,” she said. “What do I smell cooking? It smells delicious.”

I smiled. “Curried lamb—dinner will be ready about six.”

I retired to the kitchen. Our nap had been longer than I’d planned, so I still had a lot to do. I’d wanted to do a strudel for dessert, but didn’t have enough time. Beth told me we would live without it.

We sat down to dinner with the storm raging outside. As we ate, our conversation drifted quickly from current events to school and how I was doing. Emily’s questions started getting more detailed.

She must have seen the look on my face. Emily looked at Beth, who said, “You didn’t want me to tell him.” That puzzled me all the more.

Emily looked at me and smiled. “Andy, I’m a psychiatrist, a therapist. I do a lot of work helping people like you. Beth has been talking to me for a while now. I want to work with you, not only to help you, but to learn from you. From the discussions I’ve had with Beth, and more important, from talking with you, you are very good at articulating things. I want to work with you so I can not only help you, but help others as well. What do you think?”

I stabbed my last piece of lamb. I’d gotten the curry just about right. Next time I’d dump in more raisins. I mopped up the sauce a little, then looked at her.

“Okay,” I said.

She was silent for a moment, looking at me with a slight smile.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Not very eloquent tonight, sorry.”

She and Beth laughed. Emily said, “That’s quite all right. This certainly was a delicious meal. How long have you been cooking?”

That was a lead in to family life. I did most of the talking, even as both of them helped me clean up. With the kitchen cleaned and the dishwasher loaded, we went into the living room.

Emily’s questioning became more intense, even though her voice was always soft and low-key. I don’t remember what she was asking about, but at one point, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath—it was getting intense.

I was sitting in Beth’s recliner. I leaned my head back, relaxing a bit. Going through this shit was hard, even talking about it.

Emily’s soft voice surprised me a bit at first. “That’s okay, Andy. Take a deep breath and relax, relaxing into trance if you want to. You’re safe and comfortable in the chair, feeling it supporting you, holding you as you relax into trance.”

I let go, feeling the tension in my shoulders and arms drop away. It got easier to talk, easier to answer her questions and describe things to her. It was almost like describing a movie to someone. I was watching things happen, and describing them. Some of the things we talked about I’d gone over with Beth. Other things we did from a different perspective.

She had me lie down in a hammock in a very serene garden, and rocking gently back and forth, I went deeper, and deeper.

When I opened my eyes, the recliner was tipped back. I blinked and looked at my hands, sitting up. Beth and Emily were there, smiling. Both were putting down notepads.

“How do you feel?” Emily asked.

I sighed. “Rested, yet tired.” I shook my head slowly. “I don’t want to drag anyone else through this shit. It’s tough enough for me. You don’t need it.”

Emily smiled more. “Ah, but it helps us all. The more you help me understand what you’re going through, the better we can help others.” She turned and looked to Beth. “I’d better be going—it’s getting late.”

I looked at the clock—almost ten. I had school tomorrow. Luckily, I’d packed already. I stood up, slowly, and helped Emily with her stuff.

“Andy, I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon at City College in front of the Library,” Emily told me.

Emily and Beth hugged briefly. Beth said something like, “Thank you so much, doctor.”

Emily headed off in the rain. We closed the door and hugged.

“Oh Andy,” Beth said, holding me.

I felt tired. “I’m beat. I need to be held.”

She held me tighter. “You’re in luck—I need to hold you. Let’s go to bed.”

We cleaned up and went to bed. We didn’t make love. She held me softly, I found a nipple, and I faded out.

Walking into French at City College the next morning, I felt different. I felt more solid, somehow. I felt older as well. I also felt far more relaxed. Class was fun—my memory was especially sharp. I met David in the parking lot afterwards, and we went to the high school, driving in the drizzle and light rain.

I looked at Sherry differently too. It was as if I could see more, feel more. I had more patience with her, although less with some of the kids screwing around near us. I also appreciated Ellis more—he had a tough job.

As Betty and I walked to our next classes out in the trailers, we talked, in French. I could feel her self-confidence. She told me I was different today, and I laughed. When we got to the end of the covered walkways, I put my jacket around her to shield her from the rain, and hustled us to her classroom. She went in laughing.

It was raining like hell again when I got out of Math at City College. I made it to the library as best I could. Emily was there, umbrella in hand. We walked to her car, parked in the faculty/staff lot.

When we got in the car, she looked at me for a moment, then smiled and started laughing.

“I guess it shows,” I told her.

“What shows?” she asked, still smiling.

“I feel different today.” I tried to explain to her how I felt, what I’d noticed, both in myself, and in others. She questioned me—hard questions. It was as if some of her questions didn’t have answers, but opened up doors inside me. When we got to Beth’s place, we sat and talked for another half hour. When I asked if she wanted to come in and talk, she said no, that was enough for today.

I sprinted through the rain to the door, and went in. I set my stuff down and started in on dinner—that’s what Beth expected. Well, I was going to give it to her.

She got home a little after six. I gave her time to unwind, and we had dinner. She asked about my day, and I laughed. I told her about being in a different world, and about talking with Emily on the way home. It was funny—talking with Emily was at once invigorating and tiring.

We talked about schedules. Beth had night classes Tuesday and Thursday from seven to ten. She’d be home around five thirty. I told her I’d have dinner ready.

We cleaned up afterwards. At one point I told her, “It’s so nice to have someone to talk to!” She laughed and hugged me.

We both did some studying. Around ten she announced, “It’s bed time.” Couldn’t argue with that. We made love gently, slowly, and held each other afterwards. We made love again in the morning, and had to rush to get to school. We’d have to set the alarm earlier in the morning.