Efficient
by Pan
Chapter 1
“Are you sure this will help me?” Katherine asked her brother.
Al sighed.
“What’s the biggest problem you’re having with school at the moment?”
“Time management,” she mumbled reluctantly.
“And what did I spend the last three months doing a course on?”
“Time management,” she repeated, slightly louder.
“So what do you think? Do you think I’ll be able to help?”
“Yes,” she sighed.
“Say it.”
“You’re going to help.”
“I can’t hear you,” he said, and made her admit it four times before he was satisfied.
“Good,” he said, and clapped his hands, making her jump. “Now, let’s get started.”
She looked around the room groggily.
“Hang on,” she said, “what time is it?”
“Four o’clock,” he said, crossing the room and gesturing for her to follow. “Boy, you really are bad at this…”
Katherine looked around, confused. She could have sworn it was just after lunch when she’d asked her brother the question.
“Okay!” Al said, looking around his sister’s room. “This is where it all starts.”
“In here?”
“Kathy,” her brother said, looking firmly into her eyes. “This isn’t going to work if you question every single suggestion I make. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” she said.
“Say it.”
“I won’t question every single suggestion you say.”
Al sighed.
“This is exactly your problem, you know that?”
Katherine narrowed her eyes.
“What is?”
“The trick to effective time management is efficiency, Kathy. You have to be efficient, efficient, efficient.”
“So you want me to…”
“You said ‘I won’t question every single suggestion you say.’ You used eight words, when four would do. Try again.”
“I won’t question…suggestions?”
“My suggestions, Kathy.”
“I won’t question your suggestions.”
She giggled at the rhyme.
“Four words. Come on, sis, you can do this.”
“I…”
Katherine bit her lip thoughtfully. Her eyes lit up as she realized what he was getting at.
“I won’t question you!”
“Good girl! Say it again.”
“I won’t question you.”
Again, Katherine’s brother made her repeat the mantra almost half a dozen times before he was happy. She considered raising the point that repeating it so often sort of defeated the point of making it shorter…but that, of course, would be questioning him, which she’d just promised not to do.
“Okay, next. Kathy, I want to make some changes…—“
“Katherine.”
Al paused, and turned to her.
“What?”
“You know I hate being called Katherine.”
“Oh my god, you really don’t get it, do you? How many syllables is Katherine?”
Katherine’s heart sank as she realized she was doing it again. She was questioning him. She shouldn’t question him.
“Three.”
“And how many is Kathy?”
“Two.”
“Right. So which is more efficient?”
“Kathy.”
“Good.”
With that, Al turned back to the wardrobe, and Kathy scolded herself for not trusting him. He was going to help her. She shouldn’t question him.
“Okay. Now, effective time management starts first thing in the morning, and continues throughout the whole day.”
He pulled out one of her outfits, and shook his head.
“Look at this,” he said dismissively, and Kathy tilted her head to the side. She wouldn’t question him…but at the same time, she didn’t understand. It was one of her favorites—a long-sleeved button-up shirt.
“All these buttons…think about how much time you spend in the a morning putting this on, and then again at night to take it off. Ridiculous.”
Without another word, he threw her shirt out into the hall. Kathy opened her mouth to say something…but closed it again almost immediately.
“I suppose,” she said slowly, “it’s not…efficient.”
“It’s not,” her brother nodded. “Good call.”
Kathy smiled.
“And these,” Al said, his voice rich with scorn. He was holding a pair of long black trousers she often wore to work.
“Uh…”
“Buttons,” he said, pointing to the fly, the only three buttons on the garment. “Waste of time.”
They also went into the hall.
Over the next half-hour, Al went through her entire wardrobe. He threw out anything with buttons, and kept anything with a zipper. He really seemed to like zippers. All of her jeans went (though they did have a fly, it was offset by the button) and in the end, she was left with T-shirts, tank-tops, singlets, and tube-tops. Al seemed to particularly like her three tube-tops; he commented a few times on how efficient they were.
“Now,” he said, moving onto her drawers. “Underwear.”
He surprised her by throwing her bras and panties into the hall.
“Uh, I need them!” she exclaimed.
“No you don’t,” he said, not even turning around.
“I promise,” Kathy repeated—she knew that she was questioning him, but…she really couldn’t go without underwear. “I do!”
Al turned to her, his eyes burning. He looked…not mad, but surprised. Surprised and disappointed.
“I’m hardly flat-chested,” Kathy said, and swallowed loudly. “I need my bras for support.”
“And these?” Al asked, holding up her panties.
“For…that time of the month,” Kathy said, looking away.
“Well that won’t be a problem,” Al said dismissively. “We’re going to get you on an IUD anyway.”
“What?”
“Periods are a huge time-suck. Birth control doubly so.”
Kathy’s eyes widened.
“An IUD is a single appointment that will fix all that,” Al continued, and Kathy gulped.
“I still need my panties.”
Al tilted his head to the side.
“For…”
Kathy mumbled the rest of her sentence.
“I’m sorry, you’ll have to speak louder than that.”
“Discharge!” Kathy repeated, almost in a shout. “For vaginal discharge.”
She was bright red, and her brother’s eyes widened slightly. They immediately narrowed, and he nodded.
“Okay,” he said, placing all the underwear back into the drawer. “Your panties stay.”
“Oh. Really?”
“Questioning…” he said softly, and Kathy’s blush somehow deepened.
“Sorry.”
“Do you see how much time we waste with these back-and-forths?”
“Yes,” she said, staring at the floor.
“In order to make sure that you really are saving time,” Al said thoughtfully, “here’s what we’re going to do. You wear panties every day, yes?”
“That’s right.”
“Well, then here’s a simple time-saving tool: on days when you don’t leave the house, don’t bother putting anything else on.”
Kathy recoiled slightly at the idea. Al rolled his eyes.
“Oh, don’t be like that. I’m your brother! And Mom and Dad won’t be bothered. I’ve had them on an efficiency regime for the last few weeks. Haven’t you wondered why they’re never loafing around the house any more?”
Kathy hadn’t noticed, but she nodded nonetheless.
“When it’s just family around, you don’t need to worry about dressing in anything more than a pair of panties. Do you understand?”
“But what about…”
She gestured to her top, and Al sighed. He marched into the hallway and returned a few seconds later, holding her three laciest bras.
“Look, if it’ll stop us wasting time on this ridiculous argument, you can keep these.”
“Thanks,” Kathy said softly. She still wasn’t sure about parading around in just a bra and panties, but she didn’t want to risk angering her brother.
He was doing this for her, after all.
“That’s all for today,” he said, and for the final time that day, Kathy failed to hold back a question.
“That’s it?”
“Yup!” he said cheerfully. “Baby steps. We’ll do some more tomorrow, okay? Until then, dispose of these clothes, and make an appointment to get an IUD, okay?”
“Okay,” Kathy said with a nod. Glancing at the time, she couldn’t believe it was so late—it certainly didn’t feel like she’d spent seven hours going through her wardrobe with her brother.
The next morning, Kathy got out of bed at the first sound of her alarm, and stood thoughtfully in front of her wardrobe. It wasn’t a school day, which meant she was going to be just around the house, which meant…underwear only.
That didn’t feel right, but Kathy wasn’t going to question her brother. He was there to help. And since it was just family, she knew she didn’t have to get dressed.
With a smile, she choose a pair of panties and one of her lacy bras, and headed downstairs to study. Her brother glanced at her approvingly.
“Looking good,” he said with a smile.
“Thanks,” she muttered. She still wasn’t sure why she’d agreed to stop wearing clothes around the house.
“Because it’s more efficient,” her brother reminded her. Crap. Had she said that out loud? “Are you ready for today’s lesson?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Say it.”
“What?”
“Tell me that you’re ready for today’s lesson.”
“I just did…”
“No,” her brother replied patiently. “Say the whole thing.”
“How on earth is this more efficient than…”
Don’t question Al, Kathy reminded herself, and took a deep breath.
“I’m ready for today’s lesson,” she said calmly.
“Again.”
“I’m ready for today’s lesson,” she repeated, trying to keep the tension out of her voice.
“Can you make that any shorter?”
“I’m ready,” Kathy said, after a moment of thought.
“Again.”
“I’m ready.”
After hearing her confirm her readiness eight more times, Kathy’s brother was finally ready to start showing her how to be more efficient. As she followed him upstairs, she glanced at a clock.
That’s weird, she thought. I must have set my alarm wrong.
“After you get dressed, what’s the next part of your morning routine?”
Kathy thought about it.
“I guess I just…start my day.”
“No make-up?” Al asked, sounding genuinely surprised. Kathy laughed.
“You can’t tell?”
“I guess not,” he replied thoughtfully.
“Then I guess I don’t need make-up,” she smiled back at him.
He raised his eyebrows.
“Are you flirting with me?”
“Al! Jesus. No. You weirdo”
“Okay,” he said, looking relieved. “Because flirting is enormously inefficient. But we’ll cover that later.”
Kathy’s eyebrows shot up. We will?
“Yes,” he said without looking at her. “Okay, no make-up. That’s good. Efficient. What do you do next?”
“I check my calendar and get started for the day.”
“This is all great,” Al said with a smile. Kathy felt a strange surge of pride. “What about your evening routine?”
“Well,” she said, biting her lip thoughtfully. “I brush my teeth, floss, and then go to bed.”
“And once you’re in bed?”
“I sleep.”
“Okay, no need to be patronizing. That’s all you do?”
“Yeah.”
There was a long pause, and Al stared at her. Kathy was tempted to call him out for being so inefficient, but she bit her tongue. Finally, he spoke.
“You don’t do anything else before you go to sleep?”
“I play on my phone a bit, I guess.”
“Doing what?”
“Facebook, twitter. Sometimes I read a little, on my Kindle app.”
“We’ll deal with that later. That’s all you do?”
“Yeah.”
Kathy knew she was blushing. Her brother sighed.
“If you lie to me, it makes it very difficult for me to help you.”
“I’m not…—“
“Kathy. It’s inefficient. We’re going to get to the truth eventually; please don’t lie.”
Again, there was a long pause as Kathy’s brother stared straight into her eyes.
Finally, she broke the silence.
“Sorry.”
“You’re going to stop lying to me?”
“Yes,” she said without hesitation.
“Promise me.”
“I promise, I won’t lie to you.”
“Again.”
“I won’t lie to you. I promise.”
“Again.”
Kathy repeated her promise ten more times before Al was satisfied. By the time she was done, the sun was in her eyes.
“Now,” he said slowly. “I’m going to ask again; what do you do before you go to sleep?”
Kathy mumbled the truth.
“Louder!”
“I masturbate,” she snapped.
“Good,” he said calmly. “No need to be embarrassed. Everyone does it.”
Yeah, Kathy thought, but they don’t normally talk about it with their siblings.
“How long does it take you?”
“I dunno. About five minutes? I’ve never timed.”
“How many hands do you use?”
“One,” she replied, crossing her fingers that he wouldn’t ask for any more details.
“Good,” he said, that thoughtful tone returning to his voice. “This seems like a great opportunity to be more efficient.”
Kathy kept silent as she waited for her brother to explain.
“You masturbate right before bed. It takes you about five minutes, and you only use one hand.”
She nodded.
“What else do you do with one hand, as part of your routine, for about five minutes?”
“Go on my phone?”
Al shook his head.
“We’re going to get rid of that. Waste of time.”
Kathy was forced to agree. She considered his question again.
“…Floss and brush my teeth?”
“Exactly!”
Her brother was beaming.
“Okay,” Kathy said slowly, processing the idea. “So each night, while I’m flossing and brushing my teeth…”
“You’ll get yourself off. Any questions?”
Try as she might, Kathy couldn’t see anything wrong with the suggestion. She had to agree: it would be more efficient.