Absolute Submission
4) Slim Chance
Jacob and Kelly spent the following evening at his place, and for the first time he cooked for her. His culinary repertoire was limited—three proper recipes at best—but he was at least good at the ones he knew.
While the sauce simmered away on the hob, Kelly spoke up. “You know your friend Bill…”
“I’m not sure he still is my friend, since I threw Rob to the wolves.”
“I don’t think he likes me very much.” Her tone was casual, but Jacob felt a twinge of unease. Bill hadn’t broken any of the company’s rules, or if he had, he’d been smart enough to keep quiet about it. If he decided to make trouble, dealing with him would be a lot trickier.
He gave the contents of the pan a vigorous stir. “Has he been up to something?”
“Just the usual. I didn’t tell Amelia what happened last night, but she figured it out anyway. Said I was looking particularly radiant this morning. And Bill was hovering nearby like the three of you used to when you were best buds, and he said that stars were radiant bodies too, and they were just bloated masses of overheated gas.”
Jacob spun round to properly face Kelly. “Damn him. Are you all right?”
She grinned. “Now I know I’m not reading too much into what he says, I can play too. I said, ‘Catch!’ and threw him one of those pencil-top erasers. You know the sort? About so big?” She held her thumb and forefinger about an inch apart.
Jacob nodded. “And…?”
“So he got confused, and asked, ‘What’s this for?’ and I told him, ‘It’s a little rubber thing that you put on the end of your pencil, so you won’t produce anything you don’t want to,’ and he just stood there, staring at it, like he got what I was implying, only he couldn’t believe I’d dared say something like that to him, and I said, ‘I’m sorry, is it too big for your pencil?’ and he noticed that some of the girls were trying not to laugh, ‘cause they definitely knew what I was talking about, and he went red and stomped off back to his desk.”
“Nice work.” He returned his attention to the sauce. “Now you’ve found your claws, I guess I won’t need to stand up for you any more.”
“Probably not at the office, no.” She stepped up behind him. “In the bedroom, mind you…”
She reached around and started to unzip him. Startled, he dropped the spoon into the sauce. “Fuck!”
“That’s the plan.” Her hand started to caress him through his boxers, and his cock hardened.
Not again! “But… now?”
“Just a little appetiser.” She licked his right earlobe. “And then more for dessert later.”
He had just enough presence of mind to turn down the cooker before succumbing to the heat she was building between his legs.
Kelly had a prior commitment the following evening, so Jacob spent it on his own. Free to do whatever he wanted. Only he found that what he wanted most of all was to be with Kelly.
The remnant of his old self that persisted tried to steer him back towards old habits, but after about ten minutes of unsuccessfully searching for pictures worth adding to the collection, he wound up googling a new recipe to try out instead.
For a while he struggled against the urge to text her and let her know that he was missing her. So needy. It’s pathetic. You’re pathetic. The sense of relief when he caved in and sent her a message suggesting a restaurant for Thursday evening was overwhelming, even arousing. As on so many recent nights, he masturbated to the thought of her, but now it felt unsatisfactory, and somehow shameful. He should be giving her pleasure, not just himself.
She liked the restaurant, and accompanied him home afterwards. Friday evening was another DVD session at her place, and for the first time they discussed the possibility of moving in together.
On the Saturday morning he woke to the sound of her singing in the shower. His imagination furnished an image to go with it, which simultaneously turned him on and turned his stomach.
Pulling on yesterday’s shirt, he padded off to the kitchen and started a fresh jug of coffee percolating. Just after he got back to the bedroom, Kelly emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a large crimson towel, her eyes wide. She threw her arms around him and kissed him hard on the mouth. His stomach churned and his dick grew harder.
Pulling back a little, she told him, “I’ve lost a couple of ounces.”
A drop in the ocean. But she was clearly delighted at this, so most of him was happy for her, and he hugged her back.
She gazed into his eyes. “Jacob… There’s a Weight Watchers group that meets in the community centre on Tuesdays. I’ve been thinking of joining them for some time, but never had the confidence before now. How would you feel about me going?”
Too little, too late. He took a deep breath, thought for a moment. “That depends on why you’re doing it. If you think it’ll be good for your health, or make you feel better about yourself, then go for it. But if it’s just because of mean things people have said to you, don’t feel like you have to change to please them. It’s what you want that matters.”
She hugged him tighter. “And it won’t… put you off, if I lose some weight?”
What the hell!? Does she think I might be a fucking chubby chaser? “Kelly, I love you for who you are. Lose weight, gain it, stay the same, my feelings for you won’t change, no matter what happens. Just as long as you’re happy. If doing this will boost your self-esteem, go ahead. If it’s going to stress you out, it’s not gonna be worth it. It’s your decision, and I promise you’ll have my support either way.”
She kissed him again, then dropped her arms to her sides. “Thank you.”
He let go of her. “Seriously. Do what’s best for you, and whatever you choose to do, I will be behind you one hundred percent.”
“Behind me, you say?” She turned around, dropped the towel, braced herself against the chest of drawers, and wiggled her backside at Jacob. “We’ve not tried that one yet, have we?”
The sight almost made him gag, but at the same time his arousal intensified to an overwhelming level. Stepping closer, he reached around to cup her tits and slid his rigid cock up into her eager hole.
Kelly made up her mind to attend a session and see how she felt after that. Jacob arranged to collect her from the community centre afterwards, and while she was there, he got on with something he’d concluded that he had to do.
Ms Maryse’s website appeared unchanged since his previous visit. Once the page had loaded, he sat in front of his monitor and waited, hoping that she was online, and that something would alert her to his having returned.
Minutes passed. Should he try clicking somewhere? Or would that seem impatient and disrespectful? He checked the time. Give it another five minutes, and if nothing had happened by then, he would… what? Leave? Start clicking? Set another deadline?
Before he could decide what action to take when the time ran out, her honeyed voice came through the speakers. “You again?” She sounded amused rather than angry. “So what brings you back here?”
“It’s… to do with my attitude to Kelly.”
“Your colleague?”
“So much more than that, now.”
“Do tell.”
“She’s my friend, my lover, my soulmate, my goddess…”
“I’m pleased to hear it. But there was no need to return to my domain just to tell me that.”
He took a deep breath. “But at the same time, deep down, there’s still a part of me that clings to my old attitude to her. That thinks… I can’t even bring myself to say the sort of hateful bile it keeps spewing into corners of my mind. It’s horrible, and I don’t want to be like that any more. At all.”
“You should be thankful that so little of your old self remains to rage against the man I turned you into. I could have made you act the same way you are now but remain inwardly unchanged, loathing every moment of your new life. Luckily for you, I’m not that cruel. But punishment isn’t supposed to be enjoyable, and don’t forget, this is your punishment for being a fool.”
He sighed. “I get that. But does she deserve to be punished for loving one?”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s not stupid. I don’t think she knows that every time we embrace or make love, there’s a part of me that recoils and thinks terrible things about her. Not yet. But no matter how deeply I bury it, if it’s still there, there’s always the possibility that it’ll show, somehow, and if she did find out, I think it would break her heart.
“Doesn’t a goddess deserve the complete, undivided adoration of her worshipper, with no hidden resentment?”
She paused before replying. “Tell me, do you remember what I said about there being two types of people who come to my website, fools and absolute submissives?”
“Yes. And I was a fool.”
“You were. But now you’ve graduated to the other category. Congratulations upon achieving absolute submission. You’ve done very well.”
Jacob remembered something else that Ms Maryse had said on his previous visit, and failed to suppress an alarmed gasp.
“What’s wrong?” Her voice had acquired an edge. “Do you think there’s something wrong with that?”
“N-no, I just… You said you didn’t want a fool for a slave, but if I’m not a fool any more, does that mean…”
“Aww, you darling little subbie. No, I’m not going to take you away from her, if that’s what you’re worried about. Like I said, I’m not a cruel woman, and to give her your love and devotion, and then snatch it away once you show signs of improvement would just be monstrous.
“You’ve made a compelling argument for having me get rid of that last little bit of the nasty piece of work you used to be, but it’s not that simple. I can’t just make it go away. What I can do, though, is try to redirect the hostility, so the left-over hatred focuses on something else instead of her. I can’t guarantee that it’ll work, but if there is something you’re willing to sacrifice in order to be able to love her without any reservations, that might do the trick. Any suggestions?”
Jacob greeted Kelly with a lingering kiss once she’d settled into the passenger seat.
“Wow!” She drew breath. “You’ve never kissed me like that before. What have you been up to?”
Thankful that he’d given some thought to the question, ‘What do I say if she notices any difference in me?’ during the drive, Jacob said, “When you chose to take action and make this change in your life, it got me thinking, and I realised it was time I dealt with an issue of my own. So tonight, while you were here, I… I got rid of my porn.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Your what?”
“I’ve got… I had a big collection of erotic photos. Spent years collecting it. But since I started seeing you, I’ve barely paid it any attention, and then I started thinking about what would happen if you found it, if you’d think I was comparing you to the women in the pictures, and get upset. And tonight I got to the point where it didn’t matter that I’d spent so much time finding them: they had to go.
“So I deleted the lot. Irrecoverably. Now there’s only you. I guess I must have been subconsciously holding something back until I made a total commitment, and now I have done, that restraint is gone.” He swallowed. “Sorry it took so long.”
She tilted her head to one side. “So if I’m now the sole focus of your libido, does that mean you’re gonna be wanting sex with me more often?”
“Not unless you want it too.”
Kelly grinned. “Well, they did say that regular exercise is important if you want to lose weight.” She put her hand on Jacob’s thigh and squeezed. “Let’s get home and burn some calories.”