All’s Well That Ends Well
“I don’t want to control you like this any more”
His words brought her world suddenly crashing down around her, crumbling thoughts raced through her mind, her heard dropped to the floor with a thud. She couldn’t speak, felt like she had been hit with a truck. Her head and chest pounded with emotion, as she choked back tears.
Stay strong, she thought. All my self confidence can’t be wrapped up in this silly online relationship with someone I’ve never even met. All the strength I have from this interaction has to be something more real. I can’t be dependent on being wanted like this. It’s ridiculous.
She was fighting a losing battle choking back tears, and she lowered her head into her arms for the tears that began to flow down her cheeks, as her body was racked with sobs.
“Tell me what you are thinking.” His calm, low voice requested.
“No,” she whispered, as she wept. “No.” But she wasn’t saying no to his request. She barely heard it. She was groaning out against what seemed like her worst nightmare. Begging that none of this could be true. She kept thinking he would drop her out of her misery and whisper to her that it was all a joke. But the drop didn’t come. She just kept crying. She felt his grey eyes watching over her through the monitor, but she couldn’t bring herself to look up and meet them.
This couldn’t be the end. It just couldn’t. Months of training and conditioning that brought her here and made her feel so content and satisfied. It all began innocently enough as she drifted through a sea of disturbing kinksters in an online forum. Just looking to play, and have some fun. Maybe find friendships, and people to ease her continual feeling of loneliness. Most of them were not worth a second conversation. Even the few that were, eventually turned out to be sad upset people with too many insecurities to truly dominate her. When she could pick holes in their mastery, she felt like that was a problem. Someone should be able to outpace her just enough to truly dominate her.
Then she met Him. He was regal, austere, handsome, genuine, funny, caring…so perfect. Always one or two steps ahead of her. Always leading the way when things seemed desperately wrong. Comforting, soothing, caressing, drawing her irresistibly into his words. She couldn’t even remember right now what any of them were. All the wonderful things he said to her were locked away inside her subconscious mind where she couldn’t see them.
At first it was more of a dare. Sure, she said. Control me, do anything you like. In the back of her mind she knew all the canned rhetoric about hypnosis….can’t make anyone do anything against their will, can always come back out of a trance if anything goes wrong, safeties, blah, blah, blah. She wasn’t really a doubter. She wanted it to be true, but no one had really been able to do it yet, so she had begun to give up on believing that someone could do it to her.
Yet, weeks in she began to realize that something was happening to her. She began to crave His control more than anything else in the world. To the point that she would give up almost anything to keep coming back for more. She began to notice that actual memories of trances with anyone else began to die. She knew that it had happened, but couldn’t actually remember it, like when someone is told that they used to do something as a child, and they know it is true, but have no actual memory to play back. The suggestions others had planted with her disappeared. She started feeling Him everywhere in her mind, and soon everywhere in her body. She felt different, but couldn’t describe why. She didn’t remember how she had felt before, just that this is how it is now.
She began to respond to commands that she was almost certain she wouldn’t have followed before; she began to crave more demands that pushed her beyond her perceived limits. She began to want only the things she was made to want. She felt more and more control slipping away, felt her mind becoming hostage to His will, felt Him overriding her wants and wishes, slowly and perfectly replacing them with new, better things that she found she wanted even more.
She began altering so many things about herself. Changing the way she looked, the way she acted, blossoming, becoming more like the person she wanted to be; or was it the person He wanted her to be? Her own wants became so intertwined with the things she was made to want that she couldn’t tell the difference any more.
At first she kept a list of the changes. Then she began to realize that when she looked back at the list, she insisted to herself that she had mistakenly put things on the list that she had always done, always wanted. Why were they even on the list? So she stopped checking the list and just went where He led her. She liked to be led, loved being dominated by someone who could take her places. Places she had never been before, experiences she enjoyed like nothing she could have imagined was possible.
She began to want things she could never have dreamed of wanting. His control over her body became stronger, and more overpowering. She could no longer orgasm or even want to without His command. She couldn’t resist His daily compulsions, or the things he told her to do. She could feel His power over her. It was absolute. Maybe He wouldn’t make her do anything extreme, or maybe He would. She knew He could do anything to her.
But now as she wept, reeling after the phrase he had spoken, she felt like everything she lived for was slipping away from her. The voice she loved so much said the words she was most afraid to hear. His voice. And he had just said he didn’t want to control her like this any more.
“Tell me what you are thinking” He repeated softly and patiently. Everything He said sounded syrupy and soothing, with notes of caramel and dark coffee. His voice was like a fine cologne, or a perfect cup of tea. He didn’t sound upset, or disturbed; just patient and calm, like always.
“I was thinking it’s s-s-s-o s-s-s-tupid if m-m-m-y self-c-c-c-onfidence is dependent on whether you w-w-want to control me or not.” she whimpered without raising her head. He was silent. She didn’t dare look up. “Please say something.” she whispered.
“How do you feel?”
This was so not fair! He knew she could only answer that one way. The way He had made her learn to answer it. “Deeply controlled.” She paused. “N-n-n-no! That is not right. I feel deeply let d-d-d-down. Please d-d-d-don’t do th-th-this to me. I want your c-c-c-control so much, why would y-y-y-you be so cruel?”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to control you.”
Her heart stopped and a little ray of hope shone in. She gasped and lifted her head just a little, and her tears slowly ceased to flow. “What?” she queried.
“I said I don’t want to control you like this any more.”
This time she raised her eyes to look at Him, her face still glistening with tear drops. Looking at Him made her feel good. Made her feel appreciated, wanted, aroused. “What do you mean?”
“I got a job offer near where you live. I don’t want to control you virtually any more. I want to come control you in person.”
All her fear melted away, and a huge feeling of relief washed over her. She was so happy she was speechless. She lowered her head and again began sobbing into her arms, knowing that He was watching her joy with His gorgeous grey eyes, looking down at her from the monitor in a way that He would soon be able to look at her in real life.
And then she felt that irresistible pull, drawn in as He spoke her drop trigger, those words she would never know, could never hear, never remember, never capture; then suddenly she opened her eyes before she realized she had been under. She didn’t know how long it had been, she would never know what he said…but there he was standing beside her, in an unfamiliar place, with his hand on her shoulder looking into her eyes, and asking her the question she could only answer one way, His way.
“How do you feel?”
“Deeply controlled.” She answered, sincerely.