That Look
by Pan
Chapter 1:
Janine and Jessa had never really gotten along.
Their father had died when they were three years old, and—though their mother had done her best—the family had struggled to get by. Only ten months apart (though often mistaken for twins), the two girls had been forced to share everything—clothes, toys, a bedroom.
Despite Janine being one grade ahead, the pair were constantly being compared at school. As soon as she was able to, Janine had dyed her hair black, just to differentiate herself from her kid sister.
So when their mother announced that she’d gotten married over the weekend, the sisters found themselves in an unexpected position of solidarity.
“What??” Jessa exclaimed, looking at her mother in shock.
“Are you kidding me?”
“No,” their mother said dreamily. Her tone was calm, as though her daughters had just asked what was for lunch. “It’s real. He’ll be moving in tonight.”
As she floated out of the room, her two teenage daughters exchanged a look.
“What. The. Hell.”
“I didn’t even know she was dating anyone!”
“Why the fuck didn’t she ask us??”
“Are we just meant to live with some stranger?”
Janine and Jessa fumed for the next hour—the longest they’d ever voluntarily spent time together without a fight—before running out of steam.
“Maybe it’s not so bad,” Jessa finally mumbled, trying desperately to find a ray of light.
“How?” Janine snorted.
“I mean, maybe he’s not so bad.”
“He married Mom without even meeting her daughters. What kind of a dickbag does that?”
“I dunno,” Jessa shrugged. “But I mean, like, he’s not marrying her for her money.”
“Yeah,” Janine nodded, glancing around their shared room. The walls were a sickly pink, and had needed repainting for more than a decade.
“…and maybe Mom will be less lonely.”
“Yeah,” Janine sighed. She’d never said anything to her children, but the girls were well-aware that she hadn’t been happy for many, many years. “She was actually smiling when she told us.”
“Been a while since I saw that.”
The sisters fell into silence, and soon into sleep.
All of their worst fears came to fruition the next morning, when their new step-father began moving his stuff into the house.
“Oh my god,” Janine muttered, looking out the window. “…he’s totally a creep.”
“Oh my god,” Jessa parroted—a habit that typically drove her older sister nuts. “He’s such a creep.”
“Why is Mom marrying such a creep? We’re going to have to live with him!”
Janine threw herself back onto the bed. “I am not going to shower while he’s in the house. He’s probably going to…I dunno, drill a hole in the wall and watch.”
“Yeah. Or set up a camera!”
“Ugh. We’re going to have to check for cameras everyday.”
“God,” Jessa sighed, continuing to stare out the window. “What a creep.”
“Girls,” their mother said, practically humming with energy. “This is your new step-father!”
“No,” Janine interrupted. “He’s your husband. That does not make him our step-father.”
“Well,” the strange man said with a grin. “Technically it does. I’d love it if you called me Dad.”
“Ew!” Jessa said, with a toss of her long blonde hair. “Not going to happen.”
“Girls!” their mother said, tutting her tongue. “You’re being very rude.”
“No no,” her new husband replied. “It’s fine. It sometimes takes people time to…get used to me. Remember when we first met?”
“Oh yes,” the middle-aged woman said, throwing back her head in laughter. “Yes indeed!”
As the newlyweds silently stared into each other’s eyes and reminisced, Janine and Jessa threw each other a look of disgust.
“Anyway,” the unwelcome addition to their life said, clapping his hands loudly. “I’m going to go and get the rest of my stuff. I’ll see you three gorgeous girls later.”
“Take your time,” Jessa muttered.
“Yeah,” Janine said, with a roll of her eyes. “Try not to roll your car into a ditch.”
“Girls!” their mother admonished…but neither Janine nor Jessa noticed.
For just as their mother was scolding them, the new man in their life had lowered his glasses, and—for the first time—given them the Look.
Jessa was sitting on the bed, hugging her legs, while Janine stormed up and down the room.
“God,” she said, flecks of spittle flying out of her mouth as she spoke. “I hate him.”
“I hate him,” Jessa repeated softly.
“He’s such a…can you believe he…”
Janine trailed off, her fury leaving her speechless.
“Yeah,” Jessa agreed. “And…and…”
The sister made eye-contact.
“That Look,” they said, simultaneously.
There was a long silence as they processed exactly what had happened. Their new step-father had been everything they’d feared, and worse. Creepy, rude, lecherous.
And then…he’d given them That Look.
Jessa shuddered at the memory of it. Janine’s legs went weak, and she was forced to sit beside her sister.
“What a fucker,” she said, shaking her head, trying to take control of her anger.
“Yeah,” Jessa repeated. “What a fucker.”
There was another long pause.
“…he’s kind of cute though.”
Janine’s mouth dropped open.
“What?”
“Well, I mean, obviously he’s a total creepazoid. And…you’re right, he’s totally the worst.”
“The worst,” Janine muttered.
“…but you have to admit, he’s kind of cute.”
Janine’s mouth flapped a few times, making her somewhat resemble a guppy. No matter how hard she tried, however, the denial wasn’t coming.
“…yeah,” she finally admitted. “Yeah, he’s kind of cute. God, that makes him even worse.”
“Yeah,” Jessa agreed fervently, though she wasn’t really sure why.
“It’s important to me,” their mother said. “I want us to sit down and eat together like a family.”
“We’re not a family,” Jessa replied, stamping one foot. “You and me and Janine are a family, but…he’s just some guy who lives with us!”
“He’s your father,” the married woman replied firmly.
“He’s not our father!” Janine said, practically shouting. “Our father is dead!”
“Do you think I don’t know that??”
The force of their mother’s response silenced the two girls.
“We all miss your father, and we have to live with that every day. But…please. I know he’s not a perfect replacement, but he’s all that we’ve got. So please, for me—just sit at the table and eat meals as a family.”
Embarrassed, the girls nodded their response. They’d thought that sitting across from him every day for meals was the worst thing they could imagine, but they’d been proven wrong.
Letting their mother down was worse.
“May I be excused?” Janine asked sullenly the next morning. She hadn’t realized she was signing up for multiple meals each day.
“Did you finish your vegetables?”
“I don’t have any vegetables,” Jessa said. She tried to glare at the man who was determined to play the role of their father, but found herself blushing instead. “You made bacon and eggs.”
“It was a joke, sweetie,” their mother said, staring lovingly at her new husband.
“Ha ha ha,” Janine said.
“You can go. You too, Jessa.”
“Thanks,” Janine replied, rolling her eyes so hard it almost hurt.
“Yeah,” Jessa repeated. “Thanks.”
As the two of them got up to leave, it happened again.
That Look.
“I hate him,” Janine panted, as soon as they were in their room with the door closed. “God. I hate him so much!”
“Mmmm,” Jessa moaned. Her entire body felt…heightened. Fuzzy. Like she’d accidentally leaned on an electric wire.
“I hate him,” her sister repeated. “I hate him I hate him I hate him.”
The more she said it, the more she wondered if she was expressing a feeling, or trying to convince herself.
“Yeah,” Jessa said. Her head felt light. The room was spinning, but not in a bad way.
She’d gotten tipsy several times, and drunk once. That was what it was. Jessa felt tipsy.
“I hate him,” Janine said once more. Her clothes felt heavy. She wanted to be naked, for some reason.
“He’s the worst,” Jessa said, sitting on her sister’s bed. The blanket felt soft under her fingertips. She ran her fingers across the bedspread, enjoying the sensation.
“And god,” Janine said, her voice a strangled cry. “Why does he have to be so hot?”
Jessa looked at her sister, shocked not by what she’d said, but…by the fact that she was right.
“Yeah,” she grumbled in response. “He’s so fucking sexy. God!”
“We have to go,” Janine said, glancing at the clock. “Come on.”
“Okay,” Jessa nodded, but she didn’t much want to.
“How was school?” he asked, as soon as the girls got home.
“Shut up,” Janine replied. It didn’t come out as the forceful shout that she’d expected—more of a whisper.
Her mother’s new husband raised his eyebrows.
“I bet your pardon?”
“Shut up,” Janine repeated softly. Her voice was gentle; demure. She tried to turn it into a whispered threat. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Yeah,” Jessa piped in, furiously blushing. “You’re not our Daddy.”
Whoops. She’d meant to say father.
She decided to run with it.
“You’re not our Daddy, and you don’t talk to us. Savvy?”
“Sure thing,” he said with a grin. “Not a word.”
For a moment, the sisters actually felt like they’d won.
Then, he gave them That Look.
“Janine…”
The girls were in their room. The door was closed. Janine was pacing back and forth, as if in a frenzy. She felt like she was on fire. She felt like she’d just downed an entire pot of coffee. She felt like her blood had been replaced by Red Bull.
“Shut up!” she shouted, and then almost began to laugh. Now she could shout, now that it was just her and her sister.
But she knew that if she started laughing, she might never stop.
“But…”
“No!”
Janine turned to her younger sister, her eyes flashing. Jessa cowered in response, and Janine realized how she must look. Her fist were balled, her blood was pumping. She felt like her teeth had grown into fangs.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she hissed, scared of herself, scared of how she was feeling. Jessa just nodded in response, and Janine was suddenly overcome with guilt. “God. I’m sorry, Jessa. It’s just…”
“I know,” her sister whispered in response. “He’s so cute.”
Janine shuddered.
“He’s so cute. God. I…”
Jessa let out a slight moan.
“…I don’t want to talk about it,” Janine repeated desperately.
To their surprise, the man who’d married their mother stayed true to his word. At dinner that night, he didn’t direct a single comment to the two sisters. For the entire meal, he spoke exclusively to their mother, asking about her day, laughing at her jokes, nodding along to her anecdotes.
The two girls ate in silence, staring at their food, letting the adults’ chatter wash over them. When they were done, they didn’t even ask for permission to leave—they stood up in unison, and took their plates to the sink.
“A miracle!” their mother joked. Over the course of the meal, she’d finished most of a bottle of wine, and was much more jovial than the girls could ever remember seeing them. “Next thing you know, they’ll even do the dishes!”
“I bet they will,” her husband replied. “All in good time.”
Something about his tone wasn’t quite right, and the two girls instinctively glanced over at him—and instantly regretted it.
He was giving them That Look.
Jessa couldn’t stop clenching and unclenching her fists. She was full of an energy, unlike any that she’d ever felt.
Her eyes widened as she realized what it was.
Sexual energy.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Janine said, rubbing her thighs together.
Jessa met her sister’s eyes. “He’s so hot,” she said, unable to help herself.
“Yes,” Janine moaned. “God. Jessa. He’s so fucking hot.”
Their eyes widened in unison.
“Let’s not talk about it,” Jessa mumbled.
“Yes,” Janine said firmly. “Please. Please…”
The teenage girl’s tone was desperate. Pleading.
“Please…” she said again, and Jessa nodded.
“We don’t have to talk,” she replied, sitting beside her sister. Their faces were so close.
So close.
“We don’t have to talk,” she repeated.
“Please…”
“Let’s not talk,” Jessa said. Her nose was almost touching Janine’s. Their eyes were inches away. She could feel her sister’s breath on her lips.
“Please…”
“He’s so hot.”
Her sister’s mouth was soft and warm. Janine’s lips parted. Their tongues met.
“Daddy…” Janine moaned, before gently pushing her sister onto the bed.