Prequel Part 4: Prequel
* * *Caitlyn stepped out of the shower and stood there, dripping.
The silver band clung to her left bicep, little rivulets of water running down over it from her shoulder. She wore it always now, even in the shower. The silver panties were on the edge of the sink—she wore those always too, except when in the shower.
The collar, thick and heavy and polished, was a weight on her neck. The chain hung down her back, dangling just above the curve of her ass.
Thinking about that made her wet.
She was not to towel off. Lexi liked to do that herself. So Caitlyn stood, eyes forward, as goosebumps rose on her skin and her nipples hardened.
She shivered.
The spectral coin hovered a foot in front of her eyes as always and she focused on it and withdrew into herself to make the shaking stop, or to at least become unaware of it. Her mind left the room while her body remained, balancing itself with primitive motor functions.
She imagined that Lexi was trying to hypnotize her and she was trying to resist. She pictured herself standing there, resolute, unfazed by the touches and whispers and commands. But the same thing happened that always did.
She imagined what it would be like to try and fail, and from there the scene would end quickly, and always in the same way: she would lose her grip, forget what was happening, go under, and wake up damp.
The fact that it all felt natural—and somehow right—had scared her at one point but didn’t any longer. It was no longer like her mind was being coaxed into places that were strange and alien. It was like she was being shown the path to a place she’d always been trying to get to without knowing it.
The door opened behind her.
Her back got extra straight and her chest hitched a tiny bit in excitement. Lexi tugged her chain. It caused a sensation that was somewhere between pleasure and adrenaline to jolt through her.
She raised her chin as she was toweled off and clenched her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering, but let the rest of her body shiver.
Lexi liked to feel her tremble. That was the point.
She knelt on the bedroom floor, her legs folded beneath her in two graceful curves. Her arms were cuffed behind her in two places, at the wrists and at the elbows. Her chain was attached to the foot of the bed, and since it was barely long enough to reach her ass in the first place, it was a tight fit. She had no room to move.
The bonds were symbolic of the fact that she was property. They weren’t necessary, but Lexi liked putting them on her and she liked having them on her. She found them comforting.
Property had no responsibilities. It didn’t have to think. In fact, if a CD player started thinking for itself and making its own decisions, its owner might rightly be cheesed off.
She was no more complicated than a toaster.
She had no more free will than a can opener did.
She functioned as simply as an air conditioner—she did what she did when she was turned on.
These ideas were simple and very, very right.
Lexi seemed to sense her thoughts, like she sensed so many other things that were supposed to be inner. She crouched beside Caitlyn and drew a hand over her eyes to close them, and Caitlyn withdrew into the dark paths of her own mind.
“Lift your left leg.”
Caitlyn leaned to the right, lifting her left knee off of the floor. Lexi placed something underneath it.
“Back down.”
She returned to her position, legs folded. Something crackled under her left knee, something thin. A... piece of paper?
“This afternoon, you’ll be my paperweight. I’m going out for a few hours.” Lexi kissed her on the ear and got up.
Caitlyn brimmed. She had a Purpose. She was a paperweight.
The door closed behind her and then she was alone, her back straight, chained to her own bed, staring at nothing.
She didn’t move.
The sun crept across the floor and she didn’t move. For a moment she was hungry, but paperweights didn’t get hungry, so she wasn’t. She wondered what would happen if she had to pee. She supposed that, if it came down to it, she would have to go right there on the carpet. It wouldn’t be her fault. Objects had no control over the things that happened to them. But she would try to avoid it.
Lexi was patting her cheek and whispering urgently.
“Wake up! Quick!”
Pat, pat.
Caitlyn drifted. She started making her way back to the surface.
Slap.
She blinked, confused. Lexi was kneeling in front of her with an expression that seemed alien on her face: fear.
“Whuzzh?”
“Your mother’s home!“
A voice called up the stairs: “Caitlyn?”
For a split second they froze like that, staring at each other. Then Lexi dove across the room to the dresser and fumbled for the keys.
“Caitlyn? Where are you?” Footsteps, coming up the stairs.
“One second!” she called. There was a creak from the end of the hall, which she recognized as the squeaky board that was the second step from the top. Lexi ran back, sliding to a crouch, giving both of her knees a carpet burn. She unlocked the padlock that attached Caitlyn’s chain to the bed.
Footsteps, coming down the hall.
Her hands were still cuffed. No time.
Lexi dropped the keys, grabbed her under the arms, and hauled her to her feet—her legs were asleep, she’d been sitting on them for hours—and the both of them barreled into the bathroom. The door slammed shut behind them an instant before the bedroom door opened. They leaned against it, breathing and looking at each other.
“Caitlyn?” From the other side of the door.
“I’m in the bathroom! What’s up?”
“Have you seen my sunglasses?”
Caitlyn took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a long moment. Yes, she had seen her mother’s sunglasses. She could see them right now.
They were on the edge of the sink.
She’d found them yesterday on the kitchen table and had picked them up, imagining what they would look like on Secret Service Agent Lexi. And they’d stayed in her hand as she walked around and daydreamed, until she’d come to the bathroom and put them down.
“Um, I dunno!” she called. “Why?”
“I’ve got a showing in Hampton, I want them for the drive up. Did you borrow them? They were in the kitchen.”
“Yeah! Hang on!”
She nodded towards the sink. Lexi cocked her head, confused. Caitlyn rolled her eyes and walked over to the sink and pointed at the sunglasses with her nose.
Oh!
Open the door and hand them to her, Caitlyn mouthed.
What?
Give... them... to... her!
“Caitlyn, I’m really in a hurry.”
“Ok, Mom, gimme a second! Geeze!” Feigning anger to hide a position of vulnerability: now, Caitlyn thought, I am a woman.
I can’t! Lexi mouthed.
Why?
Lexi held her hands up, palms in. They were smaller and whiter than Caitlyn’s hands, but the real giveaway was that her nails were painted black. Caitlyn didn’t even own black nail polish. In no universe could Lexi’s hands pass for Caitlyn’s.
Well maybe stay behind the door and hold them out just far enough for her to reach in and get them?
What?
Hold them so they stick out past the door but she can’t see—
“Caitlyn! I. Have. No. Time. What is going on in there?”
“Coming!”
Lexi got the glasses and stood behind the door. With one hand she opened it about six inches, and with the other, she held the glasses in that gap, keeping her fingers hidden. They held their breath.
“Um,” Caitlyn’s mother said.
“Take-them-quick-I-have-to-pee!”
“Are you all right?”
“Come on Mom!”
The glasses disappeared through the crack in the door and Lexi closed it and locked it. They didn’t move. Caitlyn’s Mom-sense told her that her mother was still standing right outside, and it was right.
Finally Caitlyn said, “What?”
“People keep telling me that you must be some kind of genius to have gotten an almost perfect score on your SATs like you did. I’m just reminding myself of that so that I don’t have the urge to open this door and find out what you’re hiding in there.”
Lexi grinned and slipped a hand around her waist. Then slipped it lower, under the silver panties, and squeezed her ass.
“After the showing I’m going out to dinner with Janine, so I won’t be back until late,” her mother said.
“Ok!” Lexi’s other hand found its way under the front of the panties. Caitlyn bit her lip and kept biting it until she heard the squeak on the stairs which meant her mother was leaving, and only then did she release the breath she’d been holding.
“Heh,” Lexi said. “Close one.”
Adrenaline hammered in Caitlyn’s chest. She was awake, wide awake, for maybe the first time since they’d met. She was suddenly very aware of the metal on her wrists, of her own nakedness, of the engine of her mother’s car starting up outside.
“Be right back,” Lexi said. “Got a surprise for you.” She tugged on the silver panties one more time and went out.
Caitlyn looked around the bathroom as if seeing it for the first time. Everything was as it should be—shampoo bottles on the tub, knickknacks on the sink, little fuzzy carpet on the tile—everything was the way it was supposed to be except for the naked and handcuffed.
She had what Jules Winnfield would refer to as a moment of clarity.
She imagined what would have happened if her mother had caught them. Found her own daughter chained to a bed. Staring. Not even hearing her shriek, not at first. Then down on her knees on the carpet calling her name over and over.
A fresh rush of adrenaline, squirting through her veins.
She tried to pull her hands free, as if simply waking up would have made the cuffs go away. Metal bit into her wrists. She had the stark realization that no matter how hard she pulled, she would never, ever be able to break them.
She had to get out of them.
She couldn’t control herself when she was around Lexi. Not at all, not even half. It was more than some stupid schoolgirl romance. Or she thought. Maybe everyone thought that. Maybe Bonnie and Clyde thought that. Maybe Patty Hearst thought that. Maybe every small town girl with a crush who drives off in a pickup truck with the mechanic’s son thought that.
It didn’t matter. Her self control, which had always been a constant and guiding force, simply left the room when Lexi looked at her. She wasn’t as smart as people thought she was. She had above average intelligence, but so did millions of people in the country. Billions in the world. She’d gotten as far as she had with self discipline, and in the last week, she’d had none.
The keys.
She nudged the bathroom door open with her elbow, saw them on the floor, went for them, stumbling across the room then turning around and sitting down so she could grab them. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to get the elbow cuffs off, but they weren’t as tight, and with her wrists free, she thought she might be able to wiggle them off.
The carpet was coarse on her fingers. She couldn’t find the keys. Picking up something behind your back with your hands cuffed was harder than it sounded. She looked over her shoulder, wiggled her ass—something cool, against her left index finger. The keys. She scooped them up and transferred them to her right hand.
Now, the problem of getting them into the keyhole.
She stood and visualized her hands. The cuffs, where the keyhole was. If she bent her right hand enough—there, not the keyhole, but the key was touching the opposing cuff—she dragged it across the smooth metal, searching for the—
“Whatcha doin.”
Lexi, standing in the doorway.
The keys slipped through Caitlyn’s fingers and landed with a soft pat behind her.
“Nothing,” she said.
“Hm.” Lexi approached with slow, meaningful steps. Her eyes flicked to the keys, back up. They were like blue magnets.
“I had to go to the bathroom,” Caitlyn whispered—but her voice faltered.
Lexi didn’t say anything. She stared for a very long moment, standing very close. Her hair was neat, pulled back, the two purple streaks like racing stripes that passed just above her ears. She didn’t look angry. She didn’t look like anything. Trying to read her eyes was like trying to stare down a mailbox.
“Lexi—”
Lexi pushed her backwards onto the bed.
She bounced once, the cuffs digging into her back, and then Lexi was on her, straddling her.
There wasn’t any struggle. Caitlyn felt her body want to buck and controlled it. There was nothing she could do in that position. Nothing. Lexi could kill her as easily as moving her weight upwards, onto her chest, or by putting a pillow over her face, or by squeezing her neck, or by simply covering her mouth and nose with her hands. In each case, the only thing she would be able to do was thrash uselessly until it was over. She knew none of those things would happen but she was aware in a primal, visceral way, as one animal caught in the grip of another, that if they did, she would be utterly helpless to stop it.
“So,” Lexi said, “What’s up.”
The afternoon light played in her hair.
Caitlyn took a breath.
“I think,” she whispered, the words feeling like death, “I need a break from this. To think. Just a little time to—”
“No.”
Well that settled that, then.
“Lexi—”
“Every time you start a sentence with my name it freaks me out. You never did that till just now.”
“It was too close. With my mother. I can’t do that. If she’d—if you hadn’t came in just then—”
“I know. I was awesome, right?” She grinned. “Scooped the damsel right up and swept her away, I did.”
Caitlyn felt a laugh try to well up in her chest, sudden and inappropriate like a clown at a funeral. She pushed it back.
“I can’t,” she said.
“You can and you will.” Lexi bent and kissed the line of her jaw. “And there are going to be more close calls like that. You’re going to have to trust me to get you out of them. And I will. Every single time. I see you in trouble and I turn into fucking Batgirl. Kicking in windows and shit. All latex and claws and righteous whoopins.”
A helpless bemused half-giggle escaped Caitlyn’s throat before she could stop it.
“We’re lucky,” Lexi said in her ear. “We’re so lucky it hurts. How many people meet their exact opposite in high school? Or ever? How many people ever know what they are? You’re good with math. You get me some statistics on that one. I’m no good with numbers but I think we may be the luckiest people in the city. Maybe the state.”
Light little kisses, like butterflies.
“You got spooked. That’s all. It was my own fault; it was too soon to leave you alone like that. I’m learning just like you.”
The idea that Lexi was new to this was strange. She was made for it. Somewhere in the back of Caitlyn’s mind she thought that Lexi had been born with a whip in her hand, with a panda tattoo on her ankle. It did not occur to her how perfect she herself was for her own role. Her mind, even her inner mind, looked outwards.
The adrenaline dissipated; the hard acidy feeling in her tendons melted away, went someplace. It was just the two of them again.
“So whaddaya say?” Lexi kissed her ear. “You ok, or do I have to hold you down like this for the rest of the day? Cause I will. I was actually looking forward to it.”
Caitlyn looked up, at a beauty mark on Lexi’s shoulder, then past that, to the ceiling. It was white plaster. She felt Lexi’s body on hers, the softness of her breasts and legs. There were worse sensations one could have.
A sudden sureness settled onto her.
It was like a tingle at the base of the spine. Like the forming of an idea that is new but also somehow ancient. She didn’t have any words for it but as she looked at the ceiling the cracks and grooves seemed to form an infinite roadmap, and she imagined a warm cosmos beyond it, pink and blue stars whirling, and before she’d finished the thought she knew what she was going to do.
“Latex and claws is Catwoman, not Batgirl,” Caitlyn mumbled. Lexi’s cheek stretched into a smile against her neck.
“There she is,” Lexi said. “There she is.”
Later that night.
They were in her bed. In their pajamas. The night light cast a warm glow over the room, sending long shadows everywhere, but softly, like from the glow of a Christmas tree. A line of light under the door was a reminder that her mother was still awake, across the hall, reading her grocery store paperbacks.
Lexi’s head disappeared beneath the sheets. A moment later, Caitlyn felt her pajama bottoms being tugged down.
The ceramic unicorn on the dresser was staring at her. It wouldn’t understand; it was from a simpler time. She pulled the downy comforter up over her own head too, and that’s how they did it.
Under the covers.
In their pajamas.
Quiet as mouses.