Dick Jones
copyright © 2004 by Imagineer.
epilogue
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“Check please.”
The parking lot was empty, except for his car and the one next to the dumpster—probably the cook. He knew the waitress walked—he’d offered to give her a ride enough times. She probably thought he was coming on to her. That’s okay. She didn’t know. He wouldn’t accept a ride from a guy like him either.
A lone sodium lamp lit the entire lot from atop a pole in the far corner. Its buzz was louder than the invertebrate inhabitants of a midwestern field on a warm summer evening.
So loud he didn’t hear the other car until it scrabbled to a halt beside him.
“Hey, watch...”
He turned around to find a gun in his face.
“...it.”
With a very hard-looking man staring down the barrel.
“Turn around. Hands on top of the car.”
“Hey, I’m sorry. Next time I’ll order more than coffee.”
He was frisked. Thoroughly.
Very thoroughly.
Funny. The frisker’s hands seemed a little small...
He felt a hand squeeze his member. “Hey!” he squeaked. “I’ve got a permit for that.”
“You don’t need one for that small a caliber.” The voice was higher-pitched than Mr. Turn Around, but still masculine. Sort of.
“Cut it out, James.” That voice was female. Young. Familiar...
He heard something like a radar detector.
Like a radar detector at a Sheriff’s convention.
Frisker: “Fuck me, you were right.”
“Of course. I’m always right.” The female’s voice. It sounded like... no.
Mr. Turn Around: “Turn around slowly, and keep your hands where I can see them.”
He turned around.
And his dick twitched.
“Bet you thought you’d never see me again.”
Rebecca.
She walked right up to him and wrapped him up in a bear hug.
He felt like he was in a vice. She was strong. Like her arms were made of steel. He remembered her legs were even stronger...
She poked him in the side. “Putting on a little weight there, tiger.”
“Didn’t think I had a reason to keep it off.”
“We need to go.” Mr. Hardass With The Gun.
He nodded toward the gunman. “Bruno?”
“No,” Rebecca answered, “Bruno’s back home. I needed the A Team for this one.”
That was the extent of the introductions.
There was someone else in the back seat. Sleeping, apparently. To his chagrin, Rebecca took shotgun, and Frisker made it three in back.
“Where to?”
“The old rock quarry.”
They drove for a half-hour. It wasn’t a leisurely cruise. If he’d eaten lunch, he would have lost it.
Finally they pulled into a pitch-black canyon. He’d never been this far out of the city before.
It occurred to him that this would be a really good place to kill someone.
“Now what?” Not-Bruno.
Rebecca seemed to be in charge. “Out of the car, James.”
She got in the back seat next to me. Frisker went around to the other side, crouching outside the open door, next to the coma patient.
They started talking like he wasn’t there.
Gun: “This is a bad idea.”
Gay: “We don’t have a choice. It’s either this or we lose him again.”
Gun: “Kay will—”
Girl: “Kay can suck my dick!”
He couldn’t help but interject. “Uh, Rebecca, is there something you’re not telling me?”
“I haven’t had an operation, if that’s what you’re asking.” She grabbed his hand, shoving it up her skirt.
Definitely no dick.
He felt himself blush as he pulled his hand away.
Gay: “Aw, he’s shy.”
“Come on, we’re out of time,” Rebecca said. “Check him, James.”
Gay—James? James—checked the sleeping man from the other side. “He’s still under.”
Rebecca slid into the back seat. “Okay, baby, do your thing.”
“Huh?”
“Touch him.”
“Um, I don’t swing that way.”
“I didn’t say blow him. Just put your hand on his forehead or something.”
Suddenly he understood. And it sounded like a Really Bad Idea. He felt a shrinking in his pants. No, we don’t want Him again. “Is he—?”
“Dick Jones? No. Dick Jones is gone.”
He looked at Rebecca with fearful suspicion.
“Trust me.”
He looked to James, who rolled his eyes. Trust her?
“Don’t listen to them,” Rebecca said. “They don’t know you like I do.” Ahem.
“Touch him,” she prodded again.
So he did. He put his hand to the sedated man’s forehead.
“Feel anything?” Rebecca asked.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to- urgkk!”
Holy shit. He knew that feeling. It felt just like that fateful night in the park. Only sober.
“Now how do you feel?”
“Like I just got married,” he deadpanned.
“Good,” Rebecca said. To James: “Check him.”
He saw the radar detector this time. James pointed it at him. It went completely berzerk.
James’ jaw dropped. “Motherfucker...”
“I told you,” Rebecca said.
He motioned to the silent passenger. “Is he...?” comatose? a vegetable? dead?
“He’ll be all right in a few hours when the sedative wears off,” James assurred. He closed the door and ran around to the front passenger side. Scary Gun Man still behind the wheel.
That meant Rebecca would be riding in back with him. He’d take whatever small comfort he could get.
Scary Gun Man checked the mirror. (Why? They were in the middle of freakin’ nowhere.) “If we hurry, we can catch the 10 o’clock and be back at the shop by 8.”
“Good,” Rebecca said as she slammed the door shut behind her.
He was always the last to know. “Uh, where are we going?”
Not-Bruno gave him the evil eye. “We should sedate him.”
“No,” James cautioned. “We don’t know what that’ll do.”
“And if he can’t hold the package?”
“Fuck, good point.”
He hated being ignored. “Umm, guys? I’m right here?”
“What should we tell him?”
“He knows too much already.”
“Like we’re gonna turn him loose anyway.”
That sounded bad.
“Boys!” Rebecca barked. “Out of the car.”
“Becky—”
The look of hot death said that was a forbidden nickname. James hustled out and closed the door. Gun hesitated.
“One minute,” Rebecca soothed. “Just give me one minute.” Gun got out.
Now it was just him, Rebecca, and Sleepy.
Rebecca took his hand in hers. “In a minute I’m gonna have to sedate you. It’s a precaution. To protect us. In case... in case I’m wrong about you.”
“Wrong about me how?”
“What you just did is... well, it’s supposed to be impossible. You’re holding a fugitive, someone I’ve been chasing a long time. If you hadn’t pulled him out of poor Hector here, we would have lost him again.”
“What the hell? You mean you just tricked me into putting another Dick inside me?” Wait, that didn’t come out right... oh, forget it. “You know how much trouble the last one caused?”
“I’m sorry. If we’re lucky, we won’t have to leave him in there for long. I’m sorry I used you, but I had to. He has information about the war. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
That would take some doing.
Waitaminute, war? “I thought the war was over.”
“Not that war. I don’t have time to get into that now. Anyway, if I’m right about you, you’ll be able to help us find out what he knows. And when we’re done with him, you and I just might be able to send him back where he came from.”
“And if you’re wrong?”
“Then either we let you release him, the way you did with Dick, or...”
“...or you have to kill me.”
“Don’t worry. I’m never wrong.”
The driver door opened. “We’re out of time.”
“All right.” Suddenly James was back at the left passenger door. Rebecca nodded. “Shoot him.”
“Wait!” Shpunk. Damn...
James squeezed his arm. Either the drug was already starting to work, or James was being too friendly again. “You’ll be out in about ninety seconds. Don’t worry, it’s painless.”
Everyone got back in the car.
He had a question. He tapped a floppy hand on James’ shoulder to get his attention. “Hey, is she ever wrong?”
“All the time.” Gulp. “But lucky for you, I think she’s due.”
He wasn’t sure that was much comfort.
Gun started the car. Checked the lights. Adjusted the mirrors. Precision.
Deadly precision, no doubt.
This was going to be... interesting.
Something occurred to him. “How did you know I could... do... ?”
Rebecca smiled. “Well, I eventually ran into Dick again. His... Ability was to move from person to person freely through sexual contact. Usually several moves a day.”
“So, what, did he like me, or hate me? Why me for three months?”
“He never wanted to be in you in the first place. You sucked him in. And you wouldn’t let go.”
Great. So all along he’d just been desperate for Dick.
“Why didn’t he just make me let him go?”
“He couldn’t. That’s the other thing. He never could. We thought he was this big powerful... one, but it turned out he just arouses his host.”
But that meant... “The rest of it was...” Him. A mind controller.
He had an idea. “Everyone out of the car,” in his most commanding voice.
“That’s why we sedated you.”
Damn.
“We don’t know if it’s just you, or you with one of them in you, or you when you’re... happy, or what. But we’ll find out. Together.”
Rebecca leaned up against him, her breath hot in his ear. Her hand squeezed his thigh. “So how do you feel, tiger?”
“Horny.”
“That’s what I want to hear.”
She grabbed his head in her hands. They stared into each other’s eyes.
A person could get lost in those eyes.
Without looking away, she issued her orders.
“All right, boys, let’s get him home so I can fuck his brains out.”