At the airport, they had a wheelchair waiting for me. And it was a good thing, too. Soon after I sat down, I felt another one come. I shut my eyes and just hoped people wouldn’t notice, prayed that women would just keep behaving normally. The really interesting thing was that it worked. I guessed it was like transmitting the dream.
(I found out later that’s exactly what was happening. The first few times I had a seizure, I wasn’t expecting anything. Marissa, the twins, even Sonia all acted more-or-less normal, although they were receptive to my suggestions and had glassy eyes. Once I started having expectations, I imagined the Svengali victims, hypnotized blank robots, so that’s what they became. Once I changed my expectations and started thinking ‘normal’ then girls started acting normally again, if a little dazed. At least it made the trip home a little more pleasant, since I wouldn’t be filling the airports with crowds of blank-faced zombies.)
Zoners
Chapter 8: Airborne
Flight from Naples to Frankfurt
We sat in the back of the plane, next to a blonde German businesswoman who looked like a Barbie doll dressed up like a librarian, complete with her hair pulled back in a bun and glasses. She typed furiously on a laptop. Edward elbowed me and gestured at her, waggling his eyebrows. I let him sit next to her, so at least her typing would be safe from any violent seizure of mine.
Then I leaned over Edward and said to her, “Hello, I’m Eric.”
She looked at me, confused. “Hello. My name is Elise.” She had a very noticeable accent.
“I’m suffering from uncontrollable seizures. If you see me start twitching or moving around in my seat, don’t worry or panic. It’s not contagious, and I’m flying to a doctor to get it treated.” I tried to give a comforting smile. “Didn’t want to worry you.”
She smiled back. “Thank you, Eric.”
Edward just looked at me in astonishment. He whispered, “Dude, she’s hot. And you talked to her! You didn’t stammer or stutter or anything.”
I shrugged. “So? I didn’t try to pick her up. I’ve always been more comfortable with warning labels than with advertisement.”
He laughed. “Still, dude. You grew some balls. Congratulations.”
Elise gave him a dirty look. I just smiled an apology at her. She shook her head and went back to typing furiously.
Just as the plane was taking off, I started to have another episode. Elise looked over, her typing slowed, a concerned look on her face, but Edward just told her it was okay, it was what always happens. I just nodded an affirmative, gasping a little. They were getting stronger, more painful. I tried to keep silent, not wanting to accidentally alter her mind with a few words. I remembered how a few slips with the twins turned into a worrisome situation.
“Oh,” Edward said to me. “Thanks for helping out with Ingrid. Greatest gift ever.” He grinned, beaming, then leaned in and kissed me.
It was incredibly uncomfortable and unpleasant. If the seizure hadn’t taken so much out of me, I might have pushed him off instead of just making small refusal grunts. I’m sure my eyes went wide in shock. After a few moments, Edward seemed to realize what he was doing, and he pulled away. He laughed, awkwardly. “Uh, sorry to get all gay on you, dude.” He shook his head, bewildered by his behaviour. “I don’t know what came over me.”
After recovering from the shock, I said. “I think I do, Ward.” I ran my hands through my hair, frazzled. “Hell, I think I did.”
Edward made a whooshing sound as he passed a hand over his head. “Dude, you lost me.”
“I told you about Rami, right? The brother of the shopgirl?”
He shook his head no, so I filled him in.
“Okay, so the dude’s a perv and is okay with you screwing his sister. What’s the problem?”
“That’s the problem! He should be protective, especially with that culture, especially as devout as he appeared to be. Don’t you see?”
“Nope!” He shook his head. “Not following.”
“I’m saying I think men are affected too. It’s not just the girls.” I shrugged. “Obviously, guys aren’t getting all glassy-eyed, but between Rami’s uncharacteristic behaviour, and then you kissing me...”
“Oh! I get it, dude.” He scrunched his face up. “At least, I think so.”
“Seriously, Ward. Think about it.
He opened up a packet of free peanuts. “Nah.” He threw some in his mouth. “You know I think that’s a bad habit.” He grinned. “Thinking’s like a drug. It’s addictive, and it’ll ruin your life. Peanut?”
“No thanks.”
I spent most of the two hour flight chewing on the implications. When we landed, I had another episode.
As I was being wheeled out into the airport, Elise came up to me and wordlessly gave me her card—Elise Barbie it said. The company’s name—ILYSKN was embossed on the card in gold lettering, as was an hourglass beside it. An international number was on the card, as well as a website and her email address. “Thanks,” I said. She just smiled and walked away.
Edward leaned over to me. “What was that about?”
I watched Elise walk off. “I have no idea.”
He chuckled. “Lucky dog.”
Frankfurt Airport
The layover at Frankfurt was three hours. They had a train to take us from our arrival gate to our departure gate. It was all very modern and futuristic. Edward insisted I stay in the wheelchair.
I turned the business card Elise gave me over and over in my hands, contemplating it. Once we reached our departure gate, I got up and started looking around for the nearest pay phone.
Edward was a bit startled by my sudden movement. “Dude, sit down.” Then he saw me looking around. “What’s up?”
“Just looking for a phone.” I waved the card.
“Dude,” he laughed. “You’re supposed to wait 3 days before you call.”
I shrugged. “I’m curious. It’s her work number, anyway. I doubt she went straight there, so she won’t be around to answer.”
“Okay, dude.”
“Want to come listen?”
“Sure.” He glanced around. “Oh hey, there’s one!”
So we headed to the booth. I pulled out the calling card I’d bought to call home from Italy—I didn’t need it anymore. I dialed, then as it was ringing Edward and I held it up to our ears. Three rings, then I experienced a high-pitched whining noise. It filled my head; it felt like I’d bleed out of my ears. I dropped the phone and held my hands up to my ears.
Edward grabbed the phone. “Dude! What’s wrong? Is it another seizure?”
I almost shouted. “Don’t you hear that!?”
“Hear what?”
“Hang it up!”
He did. I heard the ‘click’ as the phone was returned to its cradle. “Thank you,” I said. “What was that?”
“What was what? Three rings, then a click, then silence.” He shrugged. “Except for you freaking out.”
I grabbed my calling card and the business card from the floor where I’d dropped them, and put them in my wallet. I pulled out a 10-euro bill and gestured to a nearby pretzel stand. “You hungry?”
“Hell yeah,” he said. “Just get in the damn chair.”
“Fine,” I laughed, and sat down again. He wheeled me on over. Soon enough, we were munching on pretzels and wursts. Edward even found a group of students from Oxford to chat up while we waited for our planes. Embarrassingly, I choked on a sausage in front of them as another episode overtook me. At least half the terminal didn’t turn into zombies. Finally, it was time to board.
Flight from Frankfurt to Atlanta
Because of the urgency of our trip, the tickets we got were only standby. The seats we managed to get were scattered through the plane, but Edward insisted on sitting near me. If it wasn’t for Olivia and Jessica, he wouldn’t have even managed to get the seat across the aisle from me. But between the four of us, we managed to talk someone into changing seats. Unfortunately, I sat next to a woman and her little angel. The mother wanted the window seat, so I got put next to the kid, a precocious little girl maybe six years old. Both spoke in a strong English accent. “My name’s Candace Carolyn Cambridge, but everyone calls me CeeCee. This is my mommy.”
Her mother gave me a wan smile, one of those indulgently apologetic ones only parents (and pet owners) seem to have.
“I’m five years old,” CeeCee said. “I’m turning six this month. On the 25th, I’ll be a big girl.”
I laughed. “I’m sure you will be.” Then I smiled. “June 25th? That’s my birthday.” First Bobbie, now this little girl. It was eerie how many people I was meeting with my birthday on this trip. Of course, that’s the trick of the birthday paradox, right?
“Nuh-uh,” CeeCee said. “It’s mine.”
Her mother just gave her an indulgent smile. “Of course it is, sweetie” she said. “But it can be this gentleman’s too.” She held out her hand. “I’m Lorelei.” She reminded me a little of Kate, the character from Lost.
“I’m Eric,” I said to her, and then started describing what they might expect. Lorelei was an RN, so when I did my whole spiel about my seizures, she was more than understanding. It took the two of us to explain it more clearly for CeeCee. In the process I learned that the father was out of the picture—apparently, he died of an aneurysm in the brain—so the phrase “like daddy” came up quite a few times.
Finally, the plane started taxiing out of the airport. we got to watch Olivia and Jessica tell us where the exit doors were, and how to buckle our seatbelts, and all the rest of that rigamarole. I laughed at their banter and antics. I can’t say whether or not the additional stresses of takeoffs and landing triggered seizures, but that’s what appeared to be happening. Of course, I only went up three times before it all ended. Either way, once the plane took off, I had another episode.
CeeCee looked at me, concerned. “Mister Eric? Are you okay?” She looked at Lorelei, tears in her eyes. “This looks like what happened to Daddy.”
Gasping and catching my breath, I glanced at them and nodded. “Yeah,” I said.
“You didn’t panic, CeeCee,” Lorelei said. “You were a good girl today.”
CeeCee beamed. I nodded. “Yeah. You were a very good girl.”
She nodded fervently and smiled a glassy smile. “A good girl.” I winced, realizing what I’d done. Well, I hoped that’d make Lorelei’s job a little easier as a mother. Lorelei smiled at us and said, “Yes, she is a good girl.” She looked proud of her daughter. Then she looked at me with a smoldering expression and said, “Just like her mother.” Now, I’ve never been all that skilled at picking up signals from women—oblivious, one might charitably say. So imagine how blatant the heat must have been coming from her for me to notice it. I just bit my tongue, waiting for the effect to pass.
Finally, the glassy look left their eyes. Lorelei excused herself, saying she needed to go to the bathroom. She ran her hand along my arm as she passed me, then looked at Edward and said, “Keep an eye on my daughter, will ya?”
Edward leaned over and whispered, “Go on, dude!” At my questioning look, he said, “Dude, do you need an engraved invitation?” He shook his head in disbelief. “You’re about to join the mile high club if you just follow her!”
“What’s the mile high club?” CeeCee asked. “Can I join?”
I gave Edward a dirty look. Then I patted CeeCee on the head. “Sorry, CeeCee. It’s a grown-up club. No kids allowed.” I wrestled myself out of the chair and staggered toward the bathroom. I knocked, briefly. The door opened, a manicured hand reached out and pulled me inside.
The bathroom on an airplane is 7 feet high, 4 feet deep and 3 feet wide. That’s not even 100 cubic feet. It’s cramped enough for one person, not to mention two people doing something a bit more vigorous than sitting on the toilet. At least Lorelei had prepared (slightly) before I followed—she’d slipped her panties off, had unbuttoned the front of her dress, and even managed to unhook her bra.
She struck a pose after she shut the door, sitting on the little counter with the sink, crossing her legs and jutting her chest forward. “Well?” She looked at me, locking eyes. “Like what you see?”
I did. Her breasts just tumbled out of her dress, hanging there like gravity wasn’t an issue. Her legs were open, invitingly, her pussy glistening wet. She reached out to my shorts and pulled them down, revealing the erection. “Looks like you do,” she observed. “Now come here.” She pulled me closer, and before I knew it I was sliding into her. She was tighter than I’d expected a mother to be.
I leaned in for a kiss—she tasted like strawberries. “Why me?” I asked.
“Why not?” She shrugged and kissed me back, then pushed me back on the small toilet. She then contorted herself down on her knees, bringing her mouth to my cock.
“Wait, what are you doing?”
She looked up at me. “Good girls swallow, right?” she said, winking. Then she took me into her mouth. Her technique was impressive. She did this thing with her tongue that just drove me crazy. I moaned, pushing her head down into my cock.
I heard Jessica banging on the door, shouting something like, “Shut up in there, y’all. Have some decency!” Soon Olivia had gotten the lock unlatched. They flung open the door. At that moment, two things happened simultaneously—I was startled into an orgasm, pumping my semen down Lorelei’s throat—and she was right, she swallowed. I looked up to see both Olivia and Jessica standing there, jaws dropped, in shock.
Oh, right. Olivia and Jessica. I never introduced them. They were our flight attendants. Olivia was German, although her accent was much lighter than Elise’s. She had a Teutonic look about her, harsh German features that shone when she smiled, and deeply dark red hair. Jessica was from Alabama. She was statuesque, Her hair was ebony, her skin was the color of molasses (and nearly as sweet). They were more or less my age—they’d been stewardesses for almost a decade, both starting almost as soon as they graduated high school.
The second thing that happened was another seizure. Remember earlier, when I discovered that my mindset was perhaps the strongest variable influencing the reactions of women during the seizure’s after-effects? My mindset at that moment, cumming into Lorelei’s mouth, startled by the two young stewardesses, was definitely not the ‘expectation of ‘normal’ I was striving to keep. I later learned that every female on the plane just melted into her seat with a mind-blowing orgasm. So much for staying off the radar.
Olivia and Jessica were hit the hardest, probably because they were in my mind’s eye when I had the seizure. They immediately started pawing at each other. So I’d turned them into... lesbians? No, bisexuals—after passionately ravishing each other, they turned their attention to my companion and me in the cramped bathroom.
“Come with us,” Olivia said, imperiously.
Jessica giggled, holding out her hand. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s get somewhere more comfortable.”
Apparently, in every jumbo jet, there’s a ‘crew rest’ area, unseen (and generally inaccessible) by the passengers. There’s even a secret passageway to get to them. Some of these are incredibly cramped and claustrophobic, a few seats crammed into a tiny area. The airplane we were on had something slightly more inviting—it looked like a set of three fold-away hospital beds shoved together, with curtains to separate them. After Lorelei and I were led through the secret hatch, Olivia and Jessica pulled us onto the beds.
We separated into pairs. Jessica pulled me onto the left hand mattress, while Olivia dragged Lorelei onto the right. And that’s how it went—Jessica and Olivia took turns on me, while the other used Lorelei. Finally, the two of them egged me on taking Lorelei, while they took care of each other. When I finally came in Lorelei, the three of them all came with me—that was surreal, the ‘magic penis’ transmitting in the middle of fucking. On the bright side, it left the three of them panting happily. It is impossible for a normal man to pleasure three women simultaneously. But obviously, normal things weren’t happening to me.
We flopped back onto the beddings in a tangle of four bodies. I was treated to three breathless wows. Lorelei looked up at me in wonder. Jessica, on top of Olivia, looked over and me and said, “How didya do that?”
I just laughed. “It’s my magic penis.”
Lorelei piped up, “You got that right.”
Olivia stayed quiet. She seemed to be pondering something, lost in thought. “What have we done?” She shook her head. She looked at Jessica. “This is not like us.”
Jessica giggled. “Yeah,” she said, dipping in for a kiss. “All that time living together, I never knew how fun it would be to have you in bed.”
Olivia shook her head. “But you are not gay. We are not gay!” I swear she would have stomped her feet in frustration, if she’d been standing. “And this is against regulations!”
Jessica looked over at me. “Honey, I don’t think we’re gay.” She shrugged. “Bi, maybe.”
Lorelei sighed. “Yeah, this isn’t like me, either.” She stretched, luxuriating. “But it feels so right.” Then she shot up. “Bloody hell! CeeCee!” She shimmied back into her dress. “I can’t believe I left her alone.” She gave me a kiss. “See you later, lover.” Then she shot out of the bed and out the hatch.
Jessica crawled over to me. “So, yeah. Why’re we bisexual all of a sudden?” She met my gaze, her eyes smoldering. “I have a feeling that you had something to do with it, Mister.”
“Can you change us back?” Olivia was looking concerned.
I sighed. “I don’t know,” I said to Olivia. Then I turned to Jessica and said, “You know the seizures? This seems to be a side effect.”
“Crazy,” Jessica said.
Olivia “Impossible! I do not believe it.”
“Neither do I.”
She put a determined look on her face. “I will not let this make me a bisexual.”
Jessica pouted. “Too bad.”
“We should get back to work,” Olivia said, clambering off the beds.
Jessica put her finger on my nose. “And you, mister, need to get back to your seat.”
Compared to that, the rest of the flight was pretty uneventful. Of course, I had another seizure when the plane landed. At least that one was low impact.
Atlanta Airport
I gave the three girls my card, so they could find me again. I invited them to have lunch, or dinner, or whatever meal it was. Lorelei turned me down, saying she wanted to get her daughter home, but Olivia and Jessica were up for it. Their shift was over, they had nobody waiting for them.
I remember we ate in the food court, getting slices of those absurdly large pizzas they have there. “So,” Edward said to us, as we sat down with our trays, “where did you all disappear to up there?”
“Ward!” I laughed. “Have a little decency. Don’t be so crass.”
“Hey,” he said around the food he was chewing, “I didn’t ask you on the plane because of the little girl. I bit my tongue. But you gotta tell me now.” He looked at Olivia and Jessica. “He got to you, didn’t he?”
Jessica giggled. “Oh yeah,” she said. “He says he’s got a magic cock.” She turned to her friend. “Right, Liv?”
Olivia blushed and looked down. “I do not want to talk about it.” She looked at me, pleadingly. “Please don’t make me talk about it.”
“Give them a little privacy, Ward.” I shook my head and kept eating. “It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it.” She let out a relieved sigh. I tried to give her a comforting smile.
“So,” Edward said around another bite of pizza, “do you two live around here?”
Olivia nodded, shyly, a little withdrawn.
Jessica said, “Yeah! We’ve got a little apartment out here, and another one in Frankfurt. We’re regulars on that route.” She giggled. “That way we can entertain visitors in either city.” She winked and elbowed her roommate. “I’m right, Liv, ain’t I?”
Olivia kept eating, blushing and avoiding everyone’s eyes. ”Ja,” she said. “You are right.”
“We met on the route,” Jessica put her arm around Olivia, who suddenly tensed up. “Eventually we decided to move in together. We make a good team, don’t you think?”
Edward laughed. “I’d say you do. But I don’t have Eric’s experience.”
“Shut up, Ward!”
“Hey, what can I say?” He shrugged. “I’m jealous. They’re beautiful.”
“Gee, thanks.” Jessica blushed and smiled. “I appreciate it, Ward.”
“Eddie, please,” he smiled his movie star smile.
She giggled. “Okay. Eddie, then.”
Olivia slipped out of Jessica’s arms and kept eating. She was clearly getting more uncomfortable the more this conversation went on.
“Olivia?” Her face shot up as she looked at me. “Are you okay?”
She shook her head ‘no.’ “Please take this away from me,” she begged. “Please?” She sighed. “I do not wish to lust after my friend anymore.” She blushed, furiously, as she looked at Jessica. “I can’t do this.”
Jessica reached out for her, taking her hand. “Oh, sweetie. It’s not too bad. We can get through it.”
Olivia pulled her hand away. “No! Don’t... don’t touch me.” She whispered, “I don’t think I can resist you.”
Jessica leaned in to her friend for a kiss. “Why should you?” Olivia just let out a moan before returning the kiss. Jessica broke the kiss and said, “See?” She wiped a tear from Olivia’s face.
“Ja, liebchen“ Olivia said before pulling her back for another kiss.
Edward looked at me, a huge grin on his face. I shook my head at him, then went back to my pizza. Let them have their moment.
After some more friendly conversation, we exchanged promises to keep in touch. Those had to be brief, as we missed the time and had to rush to our next gate. I still get postcards from Olivia and Jessica, but I’ve lost track of Lorelei. Maybe I’ll try looking her up when I go out there to visit Olivia and Jessica for my birthday. They’ve promised me a good time.
Flight from Atlanta to Phoenix
The flight to Phoenix wasn’t all that remarkable. Five hours of Edward and me talking to each other. Sure, I had a seizure on take-off and another on landing, but I didn’t get jumped by any passengers or flight attendants. Nobody gave me strange business cards. I remember tears coming to my eyes when I looked out the window and recognized the city I called home. I remember watching the sun setting over the desert as the plane set down.
Phoenix Airport
My father and my sister were both there to greet me and take me to the hospital. Edward wheeled me out of the gate.
My sister, peered at me and said, “You don’t look so bad.” Edward simply stared—my sister is almost the spitting image of Carla Gugino at 24.
“Hey!” I punched his shoulder. “Stop staring. That’s my sister.” Then I turned to look at her. “Just wait until I have another seizure.”
“Don’t listen to her,” my dad said, putting a hand on my shoulder. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks,” I said. I pulled out the paper I was given, the hospital Dr. San Angelo recommended. “We should go here,” I said insistently.
Dad took the card. “Why?”
Soon I was bundled into the back of Dad’s old Cadillac. He patted the dashboard. “Don’t worry, son. Cruella will get us to the emergency room.” He chuckled—he’d been proud of that name for years. My sister just rolled her eyes. We drove off to to the hospital.