Thinking of Nothing
“I think it’s time for another lesson, darling.” She began.
“No. Not right now.” I replied. “I mean … no, not ever again.” I hoped against hope she wouldn’t hear the trembling excitement in my voice. Her silky laugh suggested that was not the case.
“Oh, you entertain me so very much, darling! I love it when you pretend you can resist.” She said, playfully. “But we both know you’re ready for another lesson. You’ve already set aside time for me. I know you enjoy being reminded every so often that your mind is mine to play with as I wish. That your body is mine to do with as I please. Now listen to me carefully.”
There was something in her voice when she began; a confidence that bordered on indifference. Boredom. It always made her words a statement of fact rather than intent, and it gave me a little shiver of fear. I shifted in my seat and blinked, knowing full well what was going to happen next.
“Think of coming for your Mistress.”
“No. You’re not going to make me come. Not this time. And you’re not my Mistress.” I tried to make my voice sound full of steel. She giggled in reply.
“Oh, we both know that’s not true, darling. I am your Mistress. And only your Mistress can make you come. Right now you’re already thinking about giving in to my voice and spilling your sticky seed for me, aren’t you?”
“No!” I squeaked.
“Oh.” She sounded almost disappointed. “Trying to fight me again, are you? Very well. Don’t think about weakly submitting to your Mistress, then. I want you to think of nothing instead.”
At that I laughed out loud with relief. It sounded so silly I knew I was safe from her wiles. This time.
“I’m serious!” She said, but I could hear the pout in her voice. She continued with her ridiculous gambit nevertheless.
“I really want you to think about nothing at all. Push all thoughts of coming for me, of submitting to me, of being my slave forever, push all those slutty thoughts out of your mind and just think of nothing. It’s such an easy thing to do. Such a simple thing to do, even if it might sound silly. After all, how can you think about nothing? You’re always thinking about something, aren’t you? But thinking about nothing, well you do that all the time, you just don’t realise it. You find yourself daydreaming and then you suddenly snap yourself back to attention, and you realise your mind had wandered, had drifted into nothingness for just a moment.”
I concentrated on following her words, determined to think about them, instead of nothing. Of nothingness. I filled my mind with thoughts. Of what I’d had for breakfast. Of the last television show I’d watched. Of trees, their branches, of the sun and the moon … but definitely not of orgasming. Anything but that. I let out a long, exaggerated sigh, letting her know she wasn’t going to win. Ignoring me, she spoke once more.
“Yes, in those moments you think about nothing. And in those precious moments between wakefulness and sleep, in that space between lucid thought and unconsciousness, you think about nothing. So try to picture those moments in your mind now, those moments of nothingness.”
Despite myself, I was thinking of when I allowed my mind to drift off to sleep, of those wonderful moments when my head lies on my pillow and I relax into nothingness. I fought against it and graspingly filled my mind with images of something, anything.
“So as you relax more and more now, thinking of nothing, you may find your mind relaxing. Because when you think about nothing, you simply must allow yourself to relax completely. Relax and let your mind drift away. Let every single thought that enters your mind to slip out gently, to drift out on their own, as though they were soft waves lapping on the beach. Notice each thought that isn’t about nothing.”
I didn’t want to notice each thought. I tried to concentrate on thinking of nothing, to force myself to be blank, so I wouldn’t succumb to her words. I breathed as softly as I could. I relaxed, knowing she wasn’t gaining a foothold in my mind.
“Letting each thought float into your mind with every breath you take in now, and let each one float away as you breath out. There’s no need to do anything but let them relax you as you do. Each breath in sucks in more thoughts of nothing, of a wonderful relaxing feeling of peace that fills your body with nothingness.”
I struggled to hold anything in my mind. I breathed deeply and decided whatever she was saying, it was better than nothing.
“Each breath out lets all those other thoughts drift out, filling the world around you with nothing at all. Nothing but the sound of my voice. Embrace that feeling of nothing on your skin, as though you were naked right now, as though there were nothing between you and that wonderful nothingness and my voice and allowing that nothing to fill your mind and your body. The sensation of nothing against your skin, as you relax more and more deeply for me now. More and more comfortable, as you wrap yourself in nothing. Wrap yourself in nothing as you fall more heavily into trance now, thinking of nothing, doing nothing, being unable to doing anything but listen to my voice. Doing nothing, feeling nothing, relaxing, and thinking about nothing, feels so, so wonderful. Allowing your mind to fill with nothing is so deeply relaxing. It feels incredibly good to drift away into nothing. Just relaxing and breathing, listening to my words with some other part of your mind, some distant, back part of your mind, that can take care of things like listening and remembering while the rest of your mind is floating freely, drifting, dreaming of nothing. That’s right darling, it’s so easy to think of nothing. So easy to just relax and allow me to do your thinking for you.”
I thought of her voice and just how good it felt to think of nothing, to simply listen … to let her think for me … wait … what was I meant to think about? My head was suddenly spinning.
“And now I’m doing your thinking for you, I am thinking of filling your cock with the desire to submit to me.”
“Nn … nhhh” I heard a distant voice groan, before realising it was my own. Would it feel so much better to pretend I was under her spell? So much easier to pretend she really was thinking for me and I couldn’t stop myself. I did hear another voice, an unwanted guest that had invaded my head and was now doing all my thinking for me. It was overwhelming. I felt sweat prickle across my forehead.
“Think now of how horny it makes you when you do as you are told when you are in trance. Think of submitting to me when you orgasm. You can feel your willpower melting away when you do. Your resistance is already crumbling. Perhaps you can even feel deep inside, under my voice that is thinking for you, another voice where everything is calm and quiet that speaks to you in your own voice, telling that you obey. Listen to that voice now. You do want to obey it. It’s in your nature to be obedient to me. It’s something you just can’t help. You are a helpless servant to my wishes and commands. You will immediately obey any order from me, no matter what it is. You cannot stop yourself from obeying. You must obey. And every time you obey that voice inside your mind, you will find yourself more and more horny. More and more aroused and obedient. It feels so good and right to obey me. Now, unbutton your trousers.”
I tried, through a thick fog, to shake my head. My head and shoulders felt heavy, my body limp and useless. My hands moved as they obeyed that voice, that voice that might have been hers or might have been mine, it no longer seemed to matter. My hands unbuttoned my trousers, allowing my already hard cock to spring free.
“You will listen to that voice. You will obey it. You will do this because deep down you know you want to. You know you want to obey. And knowing how much you need, how much you crave, how easy it is to indulge a desire as deep as this one, you find it easy to give in. Your voice is my voice. It’s so fucking easy to refuse to resist what you need. Your need is all that matters. All that you care about. Your need is the only thing you can focus on. You need this with more desperation and intensity you’ve ever known. My voice is your voice. Now tease your cock, just like I’ve taught you. That’s right, one finger round and round the head of your cock. Round and round and round.”
I fan my finger over my throbbing hardness. My cock was so hard, so horny. It was all I could concentrate upon. My slutty cock and my singular need, and the thoughts in my mind making it so.
“This is what you want. What you’ve always wanted. This is what you need. There is no room for denial. No way to refuse. Up and down the shaft with that finger now. Up and down and up and down.”
I couldn’t help but do as I was told.
“Your brain filled with nothing except my voice … and your slutty cock filled with the desire to submit. My words are your thoughts and you know it. Stroking now, stroking now, slower and slower, deeper and deeper into trance.”
“Uh … hhh …” I gasped as I fully held my shaft in my hand and stroked, letting those words fill my whole body with arousal. I did as I was told. Oh god, she was right, her words were in my mind making my decisions for me … and I needed it so much … I was desperate …
“So hot, so horny, my words burning through your mind, blazing down your body, building in your cock. So hard, so stiff. The physical proof of my control over you. Your arousal building now as you admit you cannot do anything except surrender. Faster now, stroke faster for your Mistress. Cock hard and thick and stroking faster now.”
I gripped my shaft harder and began pumping with determination, my arousal so slickly voluminous that I was wetly stroking up and down, frictionless … mindless.
“That’s right, darling. Each stroke, each tug dragging you further down into trance, further down into submission. You cannot stop this from happening. You don’t want to stop this happening. Give in, stop pretending that you have control when you have no control. Think of coming for your Mistress.”
It was all I could think of. Shaking and shuddering and moaning out loud.
“Stop stroking, darling.” She commanded.
My hands fell to my sides as though they were boneless. It felt so easy to obey. It felt so good. My erect cock jumped and pulsed, desperate to be touched again. But I couldn’t. I was told to stop so that’s what I did. I listened desperately for my next instruction. But she said nothing.
The muscles around my penis clenched involuntarily, making it twitch violently. My buttocks tightened. I could feel the tension in my belly grow as my hips thrust upward. The sensations built and built and I felt I couldn’t take any more. I needed just one more word. One more command. So urgently needy, needy for the words that would grant me release.
“Mmm … I love you like this, darling. You know I could keep you here forever if I felt like it? My slutty little slave … my mindless fuck-toy.”
I was now begging out loud for release. Or was I babbling in agreement? All that escaped my lips were gurgling vowels. After an eternity I heard what I longed for.
“Now, come for your Mistress.”
My orgasm was so powerful it was painful, an agonising expression of my submission to her power. It flowed down from my head and into my body, pulse after pulse of willpower flooding through me, up from the tips of my toes to my groin, and out, out it came, exploding through my cock and spurting, spurting, spurting, all my pent-up desire, all my thoughts of nothing and everything and all for her. I thought I heard a voice crying out, “Mistress! Mistress!”
I remembered just how good she made me feel when I came for her. Every orgasm was another tribute. I loved it. My addiction, my surrender … my Mistress.
As I floated back down from my blissful cloud of nothingness, I heard her sweet voice penetrate my mind once more.
“Who owns your cock?” She asked, patiently.
With the sticky evidence of my surrender splashed obscenely over my thighs, I could do nothing else but admit the truth yet again, as I had done so many times before.
“You do, Mistress.” I gasped, spent and useless.
“I know, darling. Now, would you like to learn another lesson?”
“Yes please, Mistress.”