Tears of a Clown
Part VII — Silly
Kinsey was getting desperate. She hadn’t noticed it at first but every day, it was getting harder and harder for her mind to shake off the effects of what the clowns were trying to do to her. Why just the night before, those ass holes ...
Kinsey stopped herself and she took a deep breath and then she took another. Not ass holes, she corrected herself, and even if that was what they were, she shouldn’t let herself think of them that way. It was just making her angry all over again.
Yeah, but—
No, Kinsey stopped herself. No! She couldn’t do this. Just the night before, they’d made her up to be an angry clown, and yet even with the make-up removed, the effects lingered. She couldn’t let this happen to her.
But—
No! She wasn’t going to do this. She wasn’t going to let them do this to her.
But dammit. She was still angry.
Take it easy, the teen told herself. Take it easy.
Kinsey growled to herself. She didn’t want anyone to tell her to take it easy, even if the person telling her that was she herself.
Calm down. Take a breath. That’s it. Take another.
Kinsey could feel the edge coming off of her. It wasn’t a big deal, she told herself. It wasn’t even like she had to worry about going to school today. It was Sunday and that meant she could take the day off.
“Kinsey,” her mom yelled.
“Yeah, mom. What is it?”
“Can you come here? I want to talk to you.”
Kinsey grumbled to herself. Her mom probably wanted someone to eat her pussy. Not that she wouldn’t mind doing it, Kinsey thought.
Now, cut that out, the girl told herself. She wasn’t supposed to have thoughts like that. It was just that sometimes, she was kind of curious.
The teen walked into the kitchen where her mom was waiting for her. “Yeah, mom?”
“I was wondering if you could run to the store for me, honey. I forgot to pick up some eggplant for dinner tonight.”
“Aw, mom. Why do I have to do it?”
Her mother looked at her sternly. “Now listen here, young lady. I don’t want to hear that sort of tone from you.”
Yeah, you probably just want me to shove you up against the bar and start licking away at your pussy, don’t you?
What the hell was wrong with her, Kinsey asked herself.
“Sure, mom. Whatever you say. Just tell me what you need.”
“I already wrote it down for you,” her mother said, “and honey, don’t dawdle. I need you to hurry right back.”
“Yeah, mom, yeah.”
“I mean it. I want you to hurry back.”
“Yeah, mom.”
Kinsey went to her room to get her purse. Was it any wonder that she was mad all the time, she asked herself. Look at this. Here she was. She was eighteen years old and her parents were still treating her like she was a kid. If getting this stuff from the store was so damned important, why didn’t her mom do it herself?
Kinsey picked up her cell phone and then she thought about it. She looked at the phone and she breathed a sigh of relief. There were no messages there from those stupid clowns. That was a relief.
Kinsey dialed a number. “Hey,” she said when a voice answered. “It’s me.”
“I was wondering when you were going to call,” said the voice on the other end of the line.
Kinsey growled to herself. I’ll bet you were, she said to herself, and then to her friend, she said, “My mom wants me to go to the store and get something for her. You want to come?”
“Sure.”
“You want to pick me up?”
“Sure. When?”
“Mom says she wants it now so can you get me now?”
“Sure. Not a problem. I can be over there in about ten minutes.”
“That sounds good. See you then.”
Kinsey picked up her purse and headed back out towards the kitchen. “Kins, are you still here? I thought you went to the store.”
“I’m on my way now, mom.”
“Okay, hurry back.”
A honk on a horn told Kinsey that her ride was here. “Got to go, mom,” she said, and with that, she dashed out the door to the waiting car.
“What are we getting?” Debbie asked.
“Mom says she needs some eggplant.”
“Yeah? I know what I need.”
Kinsey looked at her friend. “Listen. About what happened the other night, that was a fluke, okay?”
“Didn’t seem like a fluke to me. What were you doing dressed up like a clown?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Okay so why did you eat my pussy and don’t tell me that’s none of my business. It’s my pussy, remember?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why not?”
“I just don’t.”
“Fine.”
And it would have been fine, Kinsey thought, if she really believed her friend was willing to leave it at that, but she was sure Debbie was looking at her, and she could feel her anger flaring back to life. Who was her friend to judge her, she wanted to know.
The two girls bought the eggplant and then they were once more back in Debbie’s car and on their way back to Kinsey’s house and Kinsey could feel herself getting more and more angry. “Do you really want to know why I did what I did?” she asked finally.
“Yeah.”
What was she going to say, Kinsey wondered. She couldn’t tell her friend that she didn’t know why she did the things she did because that would make her look weak and Kinsey realized she didn’t want to look weak.
“So what’s the reason?” Debbie asked.
“I did it because I wanted to,” Kinsey lied. “I did it because I wanted to make you crave me eating out your pussy.” There, Kinsey thought. She’d surprised even herself with that answer. Let the bitch chew on that and then maybe she’d learn to not be so curious.
“Well, it worked.”
“Huh?”
“It worked just the way you said it would. I really want to eat your pussy.”
“But ... but I was kidding.”
“I’m not.”
“So what do you want me to do about it?” Kinsey asked angrily.
“You know what I want you to do.”
“What? Oh. No way.”
“Oh come on. Why not?”
“Because I’m not like that.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“I said no.”
“You seem tense.”
“Yeah, so?
“So I can help you take the edge off.”
“What? Oh wait. No way.”
“Don’t say no. Say yes.”
Kinsey was sure what she was going to say. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind, but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out.
“Don’t say no,” Debbie said. “Say yes, or better yet,” and here the girl leaned in to give her friend a kiss on the lips, “better yet, don’t say anything at all.”
Why couldn’t she say what she wanted to say, Kinsey wondered and even as she thought it, there was Debbie kissing her again.
Oh my God. She’d just kissed her back. She hadn’t meant to do that.
Debbie pulled back for just a moment and she grinned at her friend. “I was hoping you’d see it my way,” she said and with that, she was moving in to kiss Kinsey again.
This was so wrong, Kinsey told herself and yet even as she told herself, she could feel herself kissing her friend back. Oh geez, this was wrong.
Oh but geez, it felt so right.
And that’s when she felt Debbie sliding down. That’s when she felt Debbie pushing her skirt up and then she felt Debbie pulling down her panties. Without even thinking about it, her legs opened and it was just a moment too late that she realized what she’d done.
Oh no, the teen told herself. She could already feel her friend sliding between her legs and then her friend’s tongue was right there on her clit and Kinsey couldn’t help but moan lustily as Debbie’s tongue did its dirty work.
Her hands came up and her hands squeezed her tits. “Oh my God,” she moaned. “Oh my God.”
It wasn’t fair, Kinsey told herself. It wasn’t fair. Her friend really shouldn’t be that good at licking a pussy, and then she stopped thinking at all and she just laid back and let it happen. It didn’t really matter why Debbie was as good as she was. What mattered was she was so very good.
And then it was her turn. Why am I doing this, Kinsey asked herself even as she settled between her friend’s legs. Why the hell am I doing this?
Because I’m returning a favor, Kinsey told herself, only ... only that wasn’t exactly it.
So why am I doing this, Kinsey asked herself as her friend’s body started to writhe on her bed.
Kinsey still wasn’t sure she had an answer to that but what she did know was that if Debbie’s moans were any indication, she was pretty good at it. What Kinsey couldn’t figure out was if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Debbie stayed for almost two hours and when she left, she said they’d have to do it again real soon. Kinsey wasn’t sure she wanted that, but then she wasn’t sure if that was even allowed.
Debbie had hardly been gone more than a minute when Kinsey’s phone buzzed. By that time, it was hardly a surprise. If anything, it was almost expected. “did you enjoy yourself,” the message said.
Kinsey grinned with relief. “u shouldn’t be texting and driving,” she sent back to her friend.
“im not. im still parked out front. i just wanted to know if u enjoyed yourself”
Kinsey wasn’t sure how to answer that. “yeah,” she said finally.
“u want to do it tomorrow”
“go home,” Kinsey texted back.
“no. i want to know”
“go home”
“u haven’t answered my question”
“i know. go home”
“i still want to know”
“i know. go home”
There was a pause, and then another message. “did u enjoy yourself”
Kinsey gripped the phone. This was not from a number she recognized. This most definitely was not from her friend.
“u should look at your computer”
“why,” Kinsey texted back.
There was no response.
“why,” Kinsey texted again.
Still no response.
Kinsey didn’t want to but she didn’t feel like she had a choice. She logged on to her computer.
It was right there in her email, just like she’d thought it would be. The email had a simple subject. “Sexy wants it all,” it said.
Even then, even knowing what she knew, she harbored thoughts that she might be able to turn away from it, that she wouldn’t have to look at it, that she could look away if she wanted to, but even as she had these thoughts, she knew they weren’t true. She knew she had to look.
She opened the message and just as she’d come to expect, there was a video clip waiting for her inside.
Telling herself that she didn’t have to open the message, that at least seemed believable, but now with the message open and with the clip there in front of her, she knew there was no turning back.
She opened the clip and there was a picture of a clown girl with an angry face.
There was a man on a bar stool and his pants were down around his ankles. She had her back to him, but that didn’t keep the girl from pushing herself back and rubbing herself against the man’s body.
Of course, the man wasn’t passive either. His hands were reaching around and he was grabbing the girl’s tits even as she continued to push her body up against his.
Of course, he wasn’t the only guy around her. In fact, there were lots of guys, all watching the girl with the angry clown face as she pressed herself against the man.
The camera moved in, going tighter and tighter on the girl until just her face was there on the screen and below the picture were the words “Sexy and demanding.”
Kinsey couldn’t help but stare at the clown girl on the screen. She certainly looked that way.
But wait. There was something missing. Had she missed it?
She looked at the email again. It wasn’t there.
She looked at her text messages. It wasn’t there either.
She wasn’t sure why she was doing this, but she had the feeling something was missing, and as much as she didn’t want to give in to what the clowns wanted her to be, she also knew what could happen if she didn’t do what they wanted her to do.
So where the hell was it?
Every time before, they’d sent her a message, telling her where to go and when to be there, but they hadn’t done that this time. Did that mean she was off the hook?
Kinsey was sure that wasn’t the case.
But if that wasn’t the case, where was the message, Kinsey fretted. She didn’t want to be late.
They’d probably tell her later, the girl told herself. That was the way it had to be.
But if that was the way it was, there was still no message forthcoming.
So what the hell was she supposed to do?
It was dinner time and still there hadn’t been a message and instead of finding herself being more at ease, Kinsey found herself growing more and more agitated. This wasn’t right, she told herself. This wasn’t right. They would have told her something.
She was going to have to go see, Kinsey told herself, and she hated herself for doing it. The stupid clowns had her so well trained that now she was coming to them without even being told to, but what if she’d missed the message. She just couldn’t risk that. She’d already been late once before and she wasn’t going to be that way again.
When she arrived at the club, she found the place was dark. Okay, she thought. Maybe that was why she hadn’t gotten a message. Maybe there wasn’t a show tonight. Maybe that was why they hadn’t wanted her to come here.
But somehow, somehow that didn’t feel right. Kinsey crept around to the back of the club to where she knew the door was.
The metal of the handle was cold as she wrapped her hand around it but when she gave it a pull, the door wouldn’t budge.
No, this was wrong, she told herself. She was supposed to be here. She was sure of it. She was supposed to be here.
She pulled on the handle again and again, the result was the same.
She stepped back and she looked at the club. Something was wrong. She was sure of it. She just had to figure out just what it was.
She walked all the way around the club but aside from the door in the back and the entrance in the front, there was no way in. She went to the door at the front and she grabbed its handle but like the door in the back, it was locked and yet ... and yet, Kinsey couldn’t get over the feeling that something was wrong.
Once more, she went to the back of the club and once more, she wrapped her hand around the door’s handle. It had to open, she told herself. It just had to open, but when she gave it a pull, the door remained closed.
“Are you looking for something?”
Kinsey turned to find herself staring at three homeless men. “It looks like she’s looking for something,” the man in the center informed the others.
“Yeah,” said one of the other men. “Whatcha looking for?”
“Nothing,” Kinsey said. “It’s none of your business.”
“I don’t know,” said the first man. “What are you looking for?”
“I’m trying to get in here,” Kinsey said.
“Why you trying to get in there,” the first man said. “That place has been closed down for months.”
“I think she’s trying to break in,” said the second man.
“I am not trying to break in. Wait! What do you mean it’s been closed down for months. I was just in there last night.”
The first man shook his head. “Couldn’t be. They closed that place down what was it, three ... no four months ago.”
Kinsey shook her head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” the teen told the man. “I’m telling you, I was in there last night.”
“Sure. If you say so.”
Kinsey took a step forward. Who the hell were these guys to question her? They were just a bunch of bums. “I’m telling you the truth.”
“Sure, sure. We know you are,” the man said although everything in his voice seemed to say he didn’t really believe her.
Kinsey took another step forward and then another. “I’m telling the truth,” she said again in a haughty voice.
“Sure, we believe you,” the man said and even as he did, Kinsey realized there was something in the man’s voice, something she recognized, but it was a moment too late. His voice was the same as that of the primary speaker for the clowns and that meant ...
The last of the homeless men, the one who hadn’t spoken yet, that man grabbed her and he was putting a hand over her mouth.
“We believe you,” said the man who’d been doing most of the talking. “Really, we do.”
What are you doing to me, Kinsey wanted to say but nothing came out but a few muffled grunts and a futile struggle.
It was only then that Kinsey realized the man with his hand over her face was holding a cloth and ...
And it wasn’t like the cloth was making her feel good. In fact, the cloth was making her head swim.
No wait. This couldn’t be happening to her. She tried to struggle but the more she struggled, the more she seemed to breathe in whatever was in the cloth.
Unconsciousness was inevitable. Her struggles became more and more feeble and then they dwindled away to nothing at all.
When she once more regained consciousness, Kinsey found herself being held in a sitting position. In times past when she’d met these three, she’d found herself sitting in front of a vanity but that wasn’t exactly where she was now. Gone was the comfy seat that she’d rested on before and in its place was something hard, something that felt like a steel drum.
There was still a mirror in front of her but lights no longer ringed its perimeter. Instead the mirror was something old and cracked and it was dirty, too.
Kinsey started to struggle almost as soon as she became aware of where she was. “Let me go,” she cried out. “Let me go you creeps.”
“Take it easy,” said one of the men. “Take it easy.”
“Don’t tell me to take it easy,” Kinsey protested. “Let me go.”
“But Kinsey, you don’t understand. We’re almost done with you but the longer you fight, the longer you drag this out. What you do is all up to you.”
Kinsey was still struggling but not quite as much. “You mean it,” she asked suspiciously. “You’re going to let me go?”
“Something like that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, we can’t just let you go.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kinsey asked again but already, she could see one of the men holding the jar of make-up and her voice changed. “No,” she whimpered. “No, I don’t want to do it. No.”
“You don’t have a choice.”
Kinsey tried to struggle but one of the men pushed her down again and this time, the man with the jar started once more to apply the make-up and almost as soon as the white base coat touched her skin, Kinsey felt her mind start to go numb. They could do whatever they wanted with her, she realized, and she was powerless to resist.
Already, she could feel her mind slowing down as the make-up was spread over her face. “Why are you doing this to me,” she whimpered.
“Oh, Kinsey,” said the spokesman of the group.
“W-what,” the girl said, her voice already slow and lethargic.
“That’s the sort of question you should have asked a long time ago. It’s too late now.”
It’s too late? Kinsey wasn’t sure if she’d actually said it or if she’d just thought it but it was pleasant just to sit there and watch as more and more of her face disappeared in a field of white.
The base coat was quickly applied and then the man who was preparing her picked up the more of the paints. Unlike in times past, there seemed to be no hesitancy in what he was going to paint on her face. Instead, he just went right to work.
She looked silly, she thought. Silly and horny. It was like she didn’t have a thought in her head and it was like she couldn’t care less that that was the way she was.
Wait a minute. That wasn’t right. There were two little spots painted on her cheeks. Two spots of pink that she knew would get even deeper every time she did something stupid. Being stupid embarrassed her and yet she seemed unable to keep from doing stupid things.
“You understand now.”
Sexy was still looking at herself in the mirror. Understand, she thought. How could she understand anything? She was too stupid to understand.
Not that that was her fault of course. After all, it was just the way she was. It was just that she hated being stupid all the time.
She giggled vapidly.
Of course, that was stupid of her. If she was stupid, she was stupid. She couldn’t really change the way she was and that was stupid of her to think she could.
God, she hated being so stupid.
And of course, that was why she was so stupid.
“Do you understand?” the man asked again.
Sexy just stared at herself in the mirror before she realized that the man had asked her something. Understand, she thought. Had she missed something? Was there something she was supposed to understand?
“I think we’ll take that as a yes,” the man said.
Take what as a yes, Sexy thought.
“I think you’re ready to meet your fans.”
What fans? Sexy was so confused but then she had a feeling that was hardly new for her. It seemed as if she was always confused. It seemed as if she was confused all the time.
“Shouldn’t I ... shouldn’t I be wearing a costume or something,” the girl asked hesitantly.
“Oh, my dear,” the lead clown said, “you already are wearing a costume.”
“I don’t get it,” the girl said.
The clown grinned at her. “You don’t have to get it,” he said. “In fact, even if I explained it to you, I’m not sure you’d get it.”
“Hey,” the girl protested, “you can’t talk to me like that. I’m not dumb, you know. I know things.”
“Oh, Sexy,” the man said. “I know you do,” and yet even as he said it, everything in his voice seemed to say he didn’t really believe it. About the only thing he didn’t do was pat her condescendingly on the head.
“I still don’t understand,” the girl said. “The club’s closed down. What are we going to do for a stage?”
“We’re not going to do anything. Tonight, you’re going on all by yourself.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Why don’t you go down the sidewalk here and see if you can find some guy. Bring him back here and let’s see if you can put on a show for him.”
“I still don’t understand,” the girl said.
“You don’t have to understand,” the clown said. “You just have to do it.”
It was clear that the girl didn’t know what the man was talking about but it was also clear that she wasn’t going to say no either. As she walked down the alley, her ability to speak seemed to ebb away even as her IQ dropped with every step she took.
She might have asked herself what she was doing here Sexy thought as she finally stepped out onto the sidewalk but by the time she got there, she was incapable of saying anything.
She was confused. She wasn’t sure what to do. A man walked by and he looked at her before passing by.
What the heck was she supposed to do, the clown girl wondered.
Another man walked by her and he looked at her and Sexy couldn’t help but hear the man mutter something under his breath, something that sounded a whole lot like, “Freak.”
Sexy felt out of sorts. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do. This would be a whole lot more fun if someone would tell her what she was supposed to do.
Yet another man came by. He was about to pass her by when he suddenly stopped. “What’s your name?” he asked.
Sexy shook her head. She couldn’t even say who she was.
The man just shook his head.
This was silly. She felt so stupid. She didn’t know what to do.
And maybe that was the point, she thought. Maybe, she was supposed to surrender to what the make-up wanted her to be.
But she didn’t want to do it. She didn’t want to surrender. She didn’t want to be silly.
On the other hand, it would be so easy. It would be so easy to surrender to what the make-up wanted her to be. In fact, now that she thought about it, it might be fun.
She couldn’t help but giggle. This was all so silly.
No, she corrected herself. She was silly.
No, wait. No, that was wrong, but now that the thought was in her head, it was hard to get rid of. It was so easy to be silly. It was so easy going around without a thought in her head. Guys liked that.
She giggled again.
No, she told herself. No, don’t give into it.
The only thing was it was hard not to remember what she wasn’t supposed to give in to. Something about, um ... something about getting a guy to fuck ... or something like that.
There was still a part of her mind that was trying to object but as empty as her mind was, it was still hard to hear what that part of her mind had to say.
She giggled again. It was so funny sitting here trying to think, the girl thought. This was embarrassing and she could almost feel the red dots on her cheeks begin to glow. It was like she needed to fuck and she didn’t know how.
No wait. That wasn’t right. She knew how.
She grabbed another passerby. “I want you to fuck me,” she said.
He was kind of a nerdish kind of guy and he was clearly taken aback by the offer. “Wh-what,” he stammered.
Sexy grabbed his hand and she ticked her words off on his fingers. “I ... want ... you ... to ... fuck—”
Oopsy. She’d run out of fingers. She looked at the boy and then she looked him in the eyes.
“Me,” she said and then without further ado, she sucked one of his fingers into her mouth.
“Oh fuck,” the boy groaned.
Sexy sucked on the boy’s finger and then she pulled his finger from her mouth and she led his hand between her legs.
“I want you to fuck me,” she said again.
The man, boy, whatever groaned and Sexy couldn’t help but giggle. This was so much fun.
“I want you to fuck me,” she said yet again.
“Where,” the boy groaned.
The girl couldn’t help but giggle again. That was certainly a silly question. After all, she already had his fingers between her legs. Wasn’t it obvious where she wanted him to fuck her and just to make sure he knew what she meant, she told him exactly what she was thinking.
The man shook his head. “That’s not what I meant,” he said. “I meant where did you want to do it?”
Oopsy. She’d misunderstood. That was so silly of her and yet she wasn’t as embarrassed as she should have been. “We could do it right here,” she said.
“We could do it where?” the man asked.
But Sexy was already pulling the man behind her as she backed into the alley. “We could do it here,” she kept saying. “We could do it here.”
“Where?” the man asked again.
But already, the girl was hiking up her skirt and she was bending over a trash can. “We could do it here.”
No way, the man thought. This was crazy, and yet, this seemed to be exactly what the girl wanted. He looked down at her little, round bottom. This couldn’t be right, he told himself. This couldn’t be what she wanted, and yet he felt himself being drawn forward and then he was unzipping his pants and pushing them down and suddenly he was sliding in between her legs.
“Oh yeah,” Sexy moaned as she felt the man’s cock slide between her legs. “Oh yeah. We could do it here. Oh yeah. We could do it here.”
She kept telling herself that something was wrong, that she shouldn’t be doing something, but every time she tried to wrap her head around that thought, the man’s cock would slide inside her and whatever thoughts were there would just slip away and Sexy would burble along happily as that cock continued to fuck her.
“Oh geez,” the man groaned. “Oh geez.”
For a moment, Sexy was worried but then that cock slid inside her yet again and in that instant, whatever thoughts were in her head disappeared.
“Oh fuck,” the man groaned and then he groaned again. “Oh fuck. I’m going to cum.”
Oh, Sexy thought. That was good. She wanted him to cum.
“Oh fuck,” the man groaned and that’s when Sexy felt it. He was cumming inside her and even as she felt it, she could feel her pussy cumming, too. She liked being fucked like this.
Kinsey woke up the next morning with the realization that something was wrong.
Something was wrong, but what?
And then she giggled and in an instant, it all came back to her, everything that she’d done the night before. She’d been such a fucking airhead. She wasn’t a bimbo slut, was she?
Was she?
She giggled again and then she realized something. She looked under her covers. Yep, she was naked.
But of course she was naked. She liked being naked. It was so much fun when she was naked.
No wait. That wasn’t right.
Of course, it was right, she told herself. It was so right. She liked being naked.
And that was when it all seemed to come together for her. She could be startled when a man gave her a cock to suck but she always did. She could be sad when there wasn’t a cock to fuck and she could be happy when there was. She was always curious to try new things and she could be scared she wasn’t getting enough cock or angry that the boys wouldn’t fuck her like she knew she needed to be fucked. But most of all, she was always just a silly little girl called Kinsey who always needed to be fucked.