Sweet and Sour Apfel (part 8)
Apfel remained Mengele’s mistress until 1945, when he finally dumped her and reportedly returned to Guenzburg to work for the family business. Other than that, he never contacted her again. She fled Germany after the war out of fear of being lynched for being Mengele’s lover, and lived underground in London under the name “Sarah”—eventually starting a new life.
Apfel was absolutely crushed as well as enraged. How could he just dump her like that? It wasn’t right in her mind. For the first time in her life she felt very, very alone and loveless. Everyday she pined for Mengele, although she knew that he’d never come back to her. There was a huge, empty hole in her life that was the result of a broken heart. Her life seemed uneventful and boring. Apfel had attempted suicide at one point, but couldn’t go through with it. She suffered from depression and often cried in her apartment, prompting her to stay under the care of a psychiatrist for years and seek solace and forgiveness in prayer.
That was all that she could do now.
December, 2003:
Ninety-two year-old Apfel sat in the taxi as it drove to Guenzburg. She was going back there for the first time in 65 years, back to the White Stag Inn. She spotted the inn and motioned for the driver to stop, which he did. The man helped her out of the taxi, and she thanked and paid him. He asked, “Do you need any help going inside?”
“Oh no,” she said, “but thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said warmly, “take care of yourself Frau.”
“I will,” she said.
With her cane, she walked into the inn and the receptionist said, “Hello and welcome to the White Stag Inn.”
“Hello,” the old woman said, “my name is Apfel Knopf.”
“Knopf?", the woman asked, “are you by chance related to Emil and Rachel Knopf?”
“Yes. They’re my parents, and they owned this inn. Also, I was born here in 1911, my brother was born in 1913, and my niece Ellie in 1938.”
“That’s very interesting Frau Knopf,” the receptionist said-amazed.
“Please, call me Apfel. That’s what my papa named me.”
“Apfel, you are our honored guest and anything you eat and drink is on us.”
“Thank you,” she said, “by the way, I’d like to take a look around. Is that okay?”
“Of course,” the receptionist said, “but I’ll call an aide to help you get around.”
“I’d appreciate it,” Apfel said.
The woman rang for some assistance and in a few minutes, a man came to the front desk.
“This guest would like some help getting around,” she said, “this is Apfel Knopf-the daughter of the inn’s
original owners.”
“Hello Frau Knopf.”
“Please, call me Apfel.”
“Okay Apfel,” he said, “where would you like to go first?”
“I’d like to go upstairs,” she said.
“Very well then.”
They went upstairs and he swiped a card in the door to open it.
“Oh, that’s what you use now. When I worked here in 1938, we used keys.”
“We started using computerized cards a few years ago, plus we’ve expanded the inn to include more rooms and also use computers for hotel check-ins and check-outs.”
The two went into a room and Apfel was amazed.
“You have TV and modern telephones now!", she exclaimed
“Yes we do,” the man said-beaming, “would you like to watch something? We’ve have color and cable.”
“Oh, no thanks,” she said, “but that’s very kind of you. I’d like to go downstairs now.”
“Certainly,” he said and they slowly went out of the room and down the stairs.
“Would you like something to eat or drink, Apfel?”
“Yes, please.”
They went to the bar and Apfel sat down. The bartender asked, “What can I get you today?”
“Well, it’s been a long while but I’d like some wine.”
“White or red?”
“Red,” she said.
The bartender began washing the glass and Apfel had a flashback.
1938:
“Oh this glass is a little dirty. Sit. I will get you a drink.”
With a bit of regretful reluctance, Apfel took the other seat at Mengele’s table. She looked at him curiously as he darted behind the counter and washed the glass in the bartender’s inks.
2003:
Apfel came back to the present and the bartender handed her the wine.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome,” the bartender said, “everything is on us. I’ve already been informed of who you are.”
She sipped the drink and had another flashback-
1938-
Apfel drank the wine Mengele gave her and began to feel ill, as a result of the urine he put in it. It made her throw up, causing her to become weak and tired.
In the present, the bartender was watching Apfel and noticed her reaction to the wine.
“What’s wrong?", he asked-concerned.
“Nothing. I just remembered what it was like drinking wine over 60 years ago.”
“It’s not horrible is it?", he asked, “because we want to satisfy you here.”
Apfel took another sip and said, “No. Actually, this wine is better than anything I’ve tasted in the past.”
The bartender beamed, then went back behind the counter. Apfel enjoyed the rest of the wine, then got up and slowly left the bar. She went back to the front desk and the receptionist asked, “Did you mention your brother earlier?”
“Yes. His name is Rolf Knopf. Is he okay? He hasn’t died, has he?”
“No he hasn’t died,” she said, “but I found out earlier through records that he is no longer in the country. In fact, he moved to the US in 1945 with his wife and daughter.”
“Do you know where in the US he is?", Apfel asked.
“Yes. He lives in Madison, Wisconsin.”
“Thank you,” Apfel said, “incidentally, I’d like to take my leave now. Can you please call a taxi?”
“Of course,” the woman said and reached for the phone, “will you be returning?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Okay then. Have a safe trip and we’ll see you when we get back. I’ll let the company know that we’ll be paying the cab fare for your return trip. They can bill us.”
Apfel just smiled.
The taxi came and Apfel got in. They drove through the city and then came to a large house that she recognized: it was the estate that she lived in with Mengele in 1939.
“Driver, stop here please. I want to go inside,” Apfel said.
“Do you want me to wait or should I pick you up later?”
“Wait here. I shouldn’t be too long.”
“Okay,” the driver said.
Apfel went to the door of the estate and knocked on it. A man answered it.
“Hello. May I help you with something?”
“Oh, I see Irene Mengele doesn’t live here anymore.”
“No, she passed away years ago. What is your name?”
“My name is Apfel Knopf,” she said.
The man’s eyes widened and he asked, “Were you connected with Dr. Josef Mengele?”
“Why yes,” she said, “I lived with him here in 1938.”
“By all means, come in! I have something to give you.”
“I can’t imagine you do,” she said.
“Trust me, I do.
She went into the house and the man said, “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, but hurry. I’ve got a taxi waiting outside.”
The man came back and said, “I found this journal some time ago. I hope you don’t mind that I looked through it. It was written by Dr. Mengele detailing experiments that he performed on you, and what he did to your brother Rolf.”
“Experiments? That’s impossible! How could that be?”
“I don’t know Frau, but I really think you should have it. I found this journal hidden in a basement. I don’t think Irene even knew about it.”
Apfel took the journal and said, “Thank you, young man. I really appreciate it. How much do you want as payment?”
“Oh, nothing Frau. I’m just glad to be rid of it at last.”
“Well, thank you again. I really need to be going now,” Apfel said.
“Would you like anything to eat? My wife can make you something.”
“Oh, no thank you but that’s sweet.”
He followed her to the door, opened it and said, “Thank you so much for stopping by.”
“It was my pleasure,” Apfel said and walked out.
She went to the taxi, got in and said, “I’m ready to go back to the inn now.”
“Yes Frau. As you wish.”
They got back to the inn where Apfel was given a card, and helped into one of the rooms. Once there, she opened the journal (written in German) and started reading it. She was shocked to learn that Mengele had used starvation to condition and control her.
Flashback, 1938:
Mengele had gone into an inn, had a quick meal of bread and meat, and came out empty-handed. Apfel was furious.
“Where’s the food? I’m starving!”
“Oh I’m sorry,” Mengele said, “I completely forgot.”
“Forgot? You’re so inconsiderate!”
“Apfel, I don’t appreciate your defiance. Because of that outburst, there will be no sex for you.”
“Josef, please. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it. I wish I’d never said anything.”
He started the car and Apfel crouched in the back, softly sobbing.
“You don’t love me,” she said-still sobbing. Mengele ignored her and kept driving.
“Nobody loves me!", she exclaimed.
Apfel was both horrified and enraged. It took strength to keep her from throwing the journal across the room. She couldn’t believe that Mengele had been able to manipulate her like that-the bastard!
“How could I have been that stupid and naïve?", she asked herself, “I was so blind!”
She read on, this time about a sleep-deprivation experiment that was performed on her. Another flashback was occurring:
1938:
“Stay awake. Stay awake while I talk to you.”
Apfel desperately tried to stay awake-trying hard to fight the sleepiness.
“Let me close my eyes for a while. I’m ...very...sleepy.” Then she closed them.
Mengele clapped his hands loudly and her eyes shot open again.
“Apfel, you need to stay awake and listen to me. You must listen to me.
“Okay,” she said-still sleepy.
Oh those horrible memories!", she exclaimed, “I wish I’d never met Josef! Why did I get involved with such a horrible, horrible man!?”
Apfel remembered that the man mentioned something about Rolf. She flipped through the journal and found her brother’s name. Reading the passage, she found that Mengele had admitted to poisoning him, as well as turning her family against her.
Flashback, 1938:
“I didn’t poison him!", Apfel exclaimed.
“He said that you gave him the drink,” Rachel said.
“That’s true, but I didn’t put the poison in it.”
“Then who did?", Emil asked.
“Dr. Mengele may have done it. He fixed the drink.”
“I was right all along!", she happily exclaimed, “and thanks to this entry, my name will finally be cleared!”
Apfel then knew that she had to go to Madison, seek out her brother, and prove to him that Mengele was behind his poisoning and blindness; then they could reconcile and have a loving relationship again. She hoped that Rolf was still living there, otherwise the trip would’ve been a complete waste.
The next morning, Apfel went to the front desk and asked, “Can I use your phone to make a long distance call?”
“Of course,” the woman said, “where to?”
“Madison, Wisconsin.”
“I can call international directory assistance for you,” she said, “and give you the phone.”
She dialed the number and the operator said, “International directory assistance.”
The phone was turned over to Apfel who asked, “Hello?”
“Hello. What country please?”
“United States,” she said.
“Thank you. What city, state and who are you looking for?”
“Madison, Wisconsin and I’m looking for Rolf Knopf.”
“Thank you. One moment please.”
“Is that Rolf with or without an e?", the operator asked.
“Without.”
“Okay, and how do you spell his last name?”
“K-N-O-P-F.”
The operator punched the information into the computer and said, “I have a listing. Do you want a number or an address?”
“Address please,” Apfel said.
“32 Jefferson Way,” the operator said.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No, thank you.”
“Well then, thank you for calling and have a nice day.”
“You too.”
The operator disconnected the line and Apfel handed the phone back to the receptionist.
“I’m leaving for Madison today,” she said, “in fact, please call a taxi to take me to the airport.”
“Well, we will miss you Apfel but you’ve certainly graced us with your presence. Would you like to take anything with you in case you get hungry?”
“Oh no, but I appreciate it.”
“In any case, please take this basket of apples as our gift to you.”
“Oh thank you!", she exclaimed as she took the basket of shiny, red apples.
“You’re welcome, and we wish you a safe trip to the US.”
“Thank you. Fortunately, I have enough to buy a two-way ticket.”
The receptionist called the taxi company and afterwards she said, “The driver will be here in 30 minutes. Will that be enough time to get your things?”
“Yes,” Apfel said.
“Okay then. I trust you won’t need help getting up to your room.”
“As long as I don’t slip,” she said, “but I’m sure I’ll be okay. However, I may need some assistance with my things.”
“Certainly. I’ll send someone up there right away.”
Apfel carefully made her way up to her room and packed her things; then she and the assistant came down with her bags, and Apfel went out the door with them. The taxi was waiting for her and after she got in, the driver helped her with her things.
“Where’s the airport?", she asked.
“Berlin,” he said.
Flashback, 1938:
Apfel was silent but indignant. She got into the car with Mengele and he drove out of the parking lot and into the street. It was 248 miles to Berlin from Guenzburg, so it would take 3 1/2 hours to get there.
“It’s a long way to Berlin, Apfel,” Mengele said.
“Really? I’ve never been there.”
“Never? It’s a nice city.”
“I’ve always stayed in Guenzburg, but unfortunately that’s not my home anymore.”
Apfel told the driver, “This is my second time leaving Guenzburg.”
“Really?", he asked.
“Yes. I lived in Berlin for 6 years, and 58 years later I’m going back. Actually, I’m heading to the airport so I can go to America.”
“We should be there in 3 1/2 hours. I hope you’re patient,” he said.
“Well I hope you don’t mind if we talk, otherwise I’ll just fall asleep,” she said.
“Of course we can talk,” the driver said, “you seem like an interesting person.”
“You know when I was young, I wanted to got to Paris. I was buying a one-way ticket there, but then I got my purse stolen.”
“You did? How horrible!", he exclaimed.
“I was hysterical and sobbing, but eventually it was recovered.”
“That’s good, Frau. Did you go to Paris after that?”
“No, I ended up staying in Berlin for 6 years. I never went to Paris, but moved to London. I was there from 1945 until this year.”
“I see. Did you ever marry?”
“No, but I have a sister-in-law and a niece. However, I did have a longtime love affair with Dr. Josef Mengele.”
“Really?", the driver asked, “the Josef Mengele?”
“Yes, but I really don’t care to discuss it.”
“Okay, I will respect your privacy.”
The two talked and laughed for 3 1/2 hours until they got to the airport. Once there, the driver helped her get her luggage out of the car and onto a cart. This let her carry her basket and cane.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome. Goodbye and have a good trip.”
“Goodbye.”
Apfel walked into the airport and bought a two-way ticket to Madison, and in an hour she boarded a plane.
It was 4,409 miles to Madison from Berlin, and while on the plane she was served lunch and dinner. When she got to the city, Apfel checked into a hotel for the night because it was too late to try to locate Rolf.
The next morning, a taxi took Apfel to 32 Jefferson Way and she paid with cash. She went to the door with her belongings and nervously knocked on it. A beautiful young woman answered the door.
“May I help you?", she asked.
“Does Rolf Knopf live here? I’m his sister, Apfel.”
“Yes, he lives here. Do you want me to go get him?”
“Yes, please. I must speak with him. May I come in?”
“Of course,” she said.
“Thank you.”
The young woman let her in and said, “I’m his granddaughter Sabrina. Wait just a moment, and I’ll go get him.”
“I’ll wait,” Apfel said.
Sabrina went to the backyard to get Rolf, and led him back to the living room. She told Apfel, “My grandfather can’t see. He was blinded when he was a young man.”
“I know,” Apfel said, “it’s very unfortunate.”
“Grandfather, this is Apfel. She says that she is your sister.”
“Apfel?", he asked, “is that really you?”
“Yes,” she said, “I came all the way from Germany to see you.”
She gently took his hand and he said, “Your touch feels so good to me.”
Apfel smiled and asked, “Sabrina, can we have some time alone? Rolf and I really need to talk.”
“Of course,” she said, “I’ll just go grocery shopping.”
After Sabrina was gone Apfel said, “Rolf, I have proof that I didn’t put the poison in the drink that made you blind. I have written proof that Dr. Mengele did it.”
“Where is that proof?”
“It’s in a journal that was given to me.”
“Do you have it?”
“Yes, it’s in my bag. I’ll get it right now.”
“Okay, I’ll wait.”
Apfel reached into her bag and got the journal. She flipped it to where Rolf’s name was mentioned, and read him the passage that stated that Mengele was behind the poisoning and blindness. After hearing it Rolf exclaimed, “Oh, Apfel, I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry that I accused you. I should have believed you!” Then they embraced.
“It’s okay,” Apfel said, “you had every right to be angry. I’m just glad that we’re not bitte towards each other. The night I told everyone I hated them, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean it. Mengele turned you all against me.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Rolf said, “that was all his fault.”
“Then papa said that if I ever came back, I would be arrested.”
“He didn’t mean it Apfel,” he said, “in fact, he immediately regretted it after you left. In fact, it’s a regret that he took to the grave. You could’ve come home anytime, because he never would’ve acted on that threat.”
“Oh my God!", she exclaimed-sobbing, “I could’ve gone home! I never got to go home!”
Rolf comforted her until she stopped crying. Then he said, “Mama died in 1980 and papa died in 1985.”
“What about Sarah and Ellie?”
“Sarah died seven years ago, and Ellie lives with her husband in another state. Sabrina is my only granddaughter, and she lives here with me now.”
“She’s very beautiful,” Apfel said.
“Yes, she is.”
There was a silence and Apfel said, “Rolf, ever since I left the inn I’ve had a life full of regrets, tragedy and fear. I’ve gotten into too much trouble-helping to destroy people’s lives, not to mention having become a victim to manipulation. It took me 65 years to realize that my life was never my own. In the end, he never really loved me. Mengele just used me for his own sick purposes. How could I have been that stupid?”
“Apfel, you were never stupid. You were a good girl caught up in his sick, twisted schemes. Mengele was a complete bastard who took advantage of you. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I was so desperate back then. I wanted to be loved so much, but now I realized that his feelings towards me weren’t real.”
“But you were always loved by us,” Rolf said, “and now I know that you would’ve never done anything to hurt me.”
“You were always my best friend and still are,” Apfel said.
He just gently squeezed her hand and smiled. She kissed his cheek, and Rolf kissed hers in return.
Their relationship was renewed.