Saving My Marriage
“Where are you?!” I sternly questioned RJ over the phone.
We had been married a long time now and he had been difficult to track down recently. Its unclear to me why he thinks he’s so special that he can just go out and do what he wants whenever he wants. I mean, here I am trying to put some supper together to get the kids something to eat and he is off doing who knows what.
“I’m on my way back, I’ll be there in 40 minutes,” he replied trying to sound casual about it.
“40 minutes is not okay, hurry up!”
I threw together a simple meal with some rice and fish. Its important to eat right, and eating right means eating healthy. Convincing the kids to eat what I gave them on the other hand was another story. They played and ran around and sometimes with a lot of convincing would finally get around to eating.
60 minutes later (not 40) RJ came in through the door. “Hey kids!” he said.
“Daddy!” Our children ran right up to him, spoiling all the effort I’d put into getting them to sit down and eat.
“You’re late.” I looked at him darkly.
“I know”, he said holding his hands out wide. “I’ve got a long commute and a busy job. Anyhow, I’m not particularly hungry. So let me get the kids ready for bed.”
Why do I even bother making supper at all.
When he was available he was such a sweet guy with the kids. I sank down into the large chair and closed my eyes.
We both had busy careers. Add the child care onto that and you have a recipe for two exhausted parents.
Since no one was eating anymore, I called up the table clearing bot on my WCI. I don’t know how people survived before the wearable computer interface. The bot cleared the table and threw out the food and scrubbed the dishes clean.
My husband eyes looked up toward his WCI and rapidly back. “Bathtub on. Warm water for the kids.” he said as we heard the tub start to fill with warm water.
He got the kids clean, read them a story and put them to bed.
Normally, by the time this was all done I’d be asleep myself. But my older sister called so we were chatting in the bedroom for a while. She was such a free spirit. She regaled me with her adventures at school. Being in grad school at the older age of 38 seemed like a crazy idea to me. However, she’d always found a way to switch fields and try something new. Now she was studying relationships and why some didn’t work out.
I finished up the call. Exhausted I pulled the covers over myself when RJ interrupted what would have been an instant lights out.
“Hey honey. How about a little loving” he suggested.
“Awe, I’m really tired can’t we do it later.”
“Do you know when was the last time we did it?” He asked.
Well I had to think, as I wasn’t really sure. I know its been a while but I hadn’t really been counting the days.
“4 months” he said in a matter of fact tone.
“No that can’t be right.”
“Oh, I’ve counted.”
I suppose I had been a little negligent in seeing to his needs. I really loved RJ, but more importantly I really loved sleep.
“OK.” I said, “but can we make it quick.”
His face darkened, “you are not at all romantic.”
“Well, I’m really tired!” I realized that we had now started in to what might become an argument. I might not be sleeping now. He was really being inconsiderate of my needs.
“Look Jess,” he started, “I just can’t do this anymore. This part of our relationship makes me really unhappy.”
“Well alright.” I said. I thought I might as well get this over with. I leaned over to kiss him but he pulled back.
“No,” he said. “I’ve had enough. You don’t understand how this makes me feel. I hate begging and I hate counting. I hate it!”
I hadn’t managed to avoid the argument after all. Really he was being such a child.
“Can’t this wait until tomorrow, I just want to sleep.”
“No,” again. “You know what Jess. You know where I was tonight?”
I stared.
“I was at the red light district.”
Ever since the government had legalized prostitution the red light district was where a lot of men went to hire prostitutes. You could also have an encounter with a robotic ones, though I didn’t know much about what went on there. Unlike in the past, it was considered fairly safe. Almost all stds had been eradicated or controlled. Birth control for men and women was also available so the chances of unwanted pregnancy was nil, though there were unconfirmed stories.
“Oh is that what it is,” I snapped. “You think you can just go out whoring and leave me alone with the kids.” My face had started to get red. I was getting angry. He can’t just leave me alone to do that. We were in a faithful marriage and I couldn’t believe at all what I was hearing.
“No, it isn’t that.” he said. “I went there but I didn’t have any sex. I wanted to, but I didn’t.”
“What! Well then what were you doing, just soaking in the sites.”
“Well, I was thinking. Having more than a friend in a wife is really something that’s important to me. My parents spent the last 40 years of their marriage in different beds. I don’t want that. I spent the whole time thinking”.
Then he dropped a bomb shell on me.
“I want a divorce.”
My jaw dropped. What the hell was this. He can’t divorce me. We have children and a house. It wasn’t like we were sleeping in different beds. We were in the same bed.
“I’ve really been thinking about this for a long time. Making love for you is a chore. I can feel it and it brings neither one of us joy. I know what I really need in a partner and you’re not it anymore. I’ll still take care of the children, we can negotiate on that, and we can remain good friends. But if I’m going to have any joy in my sex life, we need to be officially divorced so that I can fulfill my needs without cheating on you.”
“No” I sat upright. “No No No No”
He picked up his stuff and just went into the guest bedroom to sleep. I went to follow him. I had some things to say but he locked the door. I started banging on it, when one of our children woke.
“Mommy whats wrong?” I stopped banging.
“Nothing dear, go back to bed.” I did too. This would have to wait until tomorrow.
Why hadn’t I seen this coming? I’d thought that our marriage was great. Sure we didn’t have much time to talk, but that was just because between work and family we were busy. And yes, I knew that I’d been inattentive in bed, but isn’t bed really about sleeping. Selfish! Selfish! He was so selfish. If he thinks he can divorce me, he has got anything think coming.
Well now he’d done it. I stirred in the bed, not able to sleep at all. Thinking and thinking. I decided we’d talk about this tomorrow as I drifted into a fitful sleep. He would have to reconsider. I woke the next morning still quite tired.