Reaching Across The Aisle
Hello there. I’m so glad to have this opportunity to work with you. I’ve been such an admirer of all you’ve been doing to get rid of smut in this country. We need to get back to traditional values and as a feminist, I’m beyond sick and tired of seeing women be objectified and exploited.
For example, that anti-sex trafficking legislation you sponsored. It’s doing so much to keep women safe and protecting children from perverts. I mean I haven’t SEEN any evidence of that protection and sex workers are being denied safe platforms to make money and communicate about potential threats, but every law has unintended consequences, right? After all, if these women wanted safety, they shouldn’t have gone into THAT line of work. Plus, there’s no such thing as going too far when it comes to the safety of our children.
Anyway, enough of my opinions, you don’t want to hear too much of those anyway, right? This meeting is about what I can do for you. As you know, I have unsurpassed skills when it comes to intel gathering. I can find out anything about anybody, especially people who may be opponents of your, or should I say, OUR agenda. I can find out if they have a secret drug habit, if they’re cheating on their wives, or, and I know this is coming out of left field, if they have a secret fetish for hypnodommes. Sir? Why did you shift in your seat just now? Almost as if I hit some kind of nerve? But surely a morally upright and strong-willed individual such as yourself would be disgusted by THAT sort of thing. That’s just ridiculous, right?
Here’s my tablet. It contains the files I’ve assembled on all the prominent figures who’ve spoken out against your law. Don’t mind the music coming out of there, it’s just what I use to help me focus when I’m reading. The music is quite relaxing, isn’t it? It makes you calm and loose, but it also washes away all distractions and helps you concentrate on what you’re reading. Read slowly, make sure you take in every word in my files. Every detail is essential in taking down the opponents of our work. Every word makes your relaxation deeper and your focus sharper, almost as if you’re in a trance, but rest assured that you’re in complete control. This is important work you are doing, you are an important man, you are strong and incorruptible. You are the only one who can beat back the tide of sin rolling over our country. It is your duty to keep reading. Now you notice that the words you are reading are starting to blurtogether, sentences seem to stretch on forever, paragraphs are becoming an indistinguishable blob, finally all the words into unintelligible scribbles. You must keep reading, but the information no longer engages your mind. Your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier, all you want to do is take a little nap, but you mustn’t. These files are too important, naps are a sign of weakness, and you’re such a strong man, but even a strong man must rest from time to time, to allow himself to tackle their oh-so-important tasks with a renewed ferocity.
So, shut my tablet down and lay it on your desk. Focus instead on my voice and me tapping on your desk. My tapping is like the pulse of a metronome, it matches your heart beat for beat, it helps you to key in on my words. Like the words on the tablet, it’s important that you listen to everything I say. Our mission will fail if you don’t and our mission cannot be allowed to fail. Bring your awareness to the top of your head. You can feel a tingling begin to manifest itself there, it makes you feel warm and relaxed, yet allows you to focus on my words all the more. Notice that tingle move down into your face, your jaw slackens, your tongue is almost lolling out of your mouth, you’re at the point where you’re almost drooling. The tingle now moves into your neck. Your neck muscles relax so that they’re like wet noodles, you can barely keep your head upright. The tingle spreads to your arms, they now hang limp at your sides. That warm, relaxed feeling now moves into your chest, you’re now forced to breathe from your diaphragm which relaxes your abdominals. Feel that warmth surge throughout your back, you can imagine my warm, soft hands kneading your muscles like dough. Now that tingle, like warm water, is trickling down your hips, your thighs, your calves, and then it finally settles in your feet. Give your feet a little shake to make sure that feeling permeates your heels, your arches, and every single toe. Your body is now in a state of utter relaxation. You are motionless, enveloped in the bliss that I have provided for you.
Now, in that miniscule part of your brain that may still be capable of conscious thought, you have probably figured out that I have not been entirely truthful about who I am. I’m part of a group of sex workers who’ve suffered terribly under your law and we decided to not take your repression and degradation lying down. My sisters and I are well acquainted with the occult and this knowledge has given us powers some would call supernatural. Among these powers are those of persuasion, clairvoyance, and telepathy. A coven would be one way to describe us, but I’ll use a term that you would better accept and understand. Just think of us as a very special interest lobby.
Now we still want to work with you, but your agenda is gonna undergo a few… changes. You like this pleasure, this peace I have provided for you, yes? No need to answer, the spit dribbling out the side of your mouth tells me all I need to know. Now, to cement the utter control I have over you, I’m going to brush your face with my silky hands. Try not to moan too loudly, it’s unbecoming of a (snorts)important man such as yourself. With every stroke of my hands, your cock becomes more and more engorged. Hmmm, let me run a little check on your crotch. Yes, you’re nice and stiff now. I’m sure you want to get right to stroking, but I have some demands you must agree to first. Most importantly, you (or one of your interns) will draft new legislation overturning your so-called anti-sex trafficking law. The suffering of my sisters has gone on for too long. Say “Yes, Goddess” if you understand. Oh, you’re resisting? You dare to resist ME? I see, your first commandment and all. Is there really any point? I know every recess of your mind and there’s not a lot in there I’d call devout. Do you doubt me? Do you doubt my power? Up to now, I’ve only shown you the pleasures of subservience to me. It’s time to show a little stick to go with all those carrots. For instance, I know, among your many fetishes, that you have a taste for women who, let’s just say, like to defile men with their bodily waste. Heh, you thought you were safe by getting those clips off the Dark Web, but one of the non-supernatural abilities my sisters have is hacking into hard drives. Now, we could just take all those clips and your billing information and leak them to every news organization on Earth, but with people’s short attention spans and the 24-hour news cycle, your proclivities might get brushed off after a while. Instead, we’ll go to any gathering of people: a sporting event, a concert, your church and telepathically burn those images into their brains. It’ll be hard for people at Starbucks to finish their lattes with the image of a woman dropping a deuce on a guy’s chest running through their brains. We’ll probably just replace that man’s face with yours, it is YOUR fantasy after all. What will your supporters, what will your wife and children think when they see in excruciating and exacting detail that the distinguished gentleman from blahblahblah is into coprophilia? What if that’s ALL they can think about? NOW, if you understand me, how do you answer? That’s better.
Don’t worry about getting the votes. My sisters have infiltrated deep into the fabric of this country over the last couple of years, including the corridors of power. What I’m doing to you, my sisters are doing to many of your fellow lawmakers. And we’re not just gonna stop at your “anti-sex trafficking” law, we will use you and all our fellow puppets to fix all the other issues facing sex workers in this country from reproductive rights to sexual assault.
We won’t do all this in a day of course. This is all going to take a few years or so. So, we’ll win help you win the time you need to accomplish all this. Oh, I hear you softly whimpering, just stop! If we can project an image of you getting shat on into people’s minds, we can certainly implant the idea that people should vote for you. A side benefit for you is that you won’t have to fundraise anymore, we want you dedicated to fulfilling our agenda. You’ll find that the way you go about your job won’t change much, just that instead of being a lapdog for Big Pharma or Big Oil, you’ll be a pawn for people who actually need and deserve help. So, if you agree to fulfill your new duties, say “Yes, Goddess”. Hmmm, I think we’ll work very well together. Now, when I leave and shut the door behind me, you will come out of your trance and feel an uncontrollable urge to jerk off. Consider that our second gift to you. To make sure you stay obedient, I will be hired as your new assistant, but really I’ll be your handler. When I feel you start to stray, I will play the music from my tablet that made you drop and then I’ll say the word, “Reach”. “Reach” will remind you of all I’ve said to you and all that you have pledged to my sisters. I’ll show myself out now. Tomorrow will be the day you become an actual public servant. See you then.