Ole Time Curios
Chapter 3: A Blown Opportunity
Artemis knew Lacey very well. Through the course of being roommates, she knew Lacey to be one of those people who will just always land on their feet—not through luck—but preparation. It was kind of annoying sometimes, but in a good way. You can’t hate someone who gets accolades when you know the work they put in to get it.
So what she was expecting to hear when Lacey got back from her job interview was this:
“Nailed it! They offered me a position on the spot, I’m going to be rollin in duckets, totes blinged out bitch!” Actually no, she might have said that if she was Lacey.
Perhaps what she was really expecting was this:
“How did it go? Well, you can’t always know. I feel like I did the best I could, there was one thing I think I could have done better. I don’t know. I just hope it’s a good fit and that they liked me. We’ll see.” Of course, two days later, there’d be a letter or a phone call and squealing with glee.
What she did not expect was this:
“Wine. I need wine.”
“Hey there roomie, how’d—” Artemis cut off her thought mid-sentence at the sight of a disheveled and flushed Lacey Dupree. Her hair was in disarray, her hands had black ink marks all over them,
“Holy—is someone throwing a rager and nobody told me?”
Lacey sneered at her for a half step, then stopped placing her hands out with straight serious intention and communicated her talking point as a political leader might, “Artemis, I need you to focus, I have a need, and that is wine, please tell me you have wine.”
She shook her head.
Lacey sighed, then demanded with an edge of annoyance, “Fine, then break out your vodka.”
Artemis got up, and edged over to the door to the dorm conspicuously adding, “I don’t have any of that either—” she closed the door and hissed, “Dub Tee Eff, Lacey, are you trying to get me busted?”
Lacey’s face was stern and angry then suddenly it melted into tears and sobbing.
“Oh honey, no, no, what happened.”
Lacey was jelly kneed and Artemis led her to the couch. She all but crumbled onto Artemis’ shoulder, “I- screw-d it- up,” she let let out between sobs.
“Okay, okay, do you wanna talk about it.” She’d not seen Lacey for a while. She never got like this about guys, hell the last time was the ‘D+’ incident. A while back, one of her project papers was eaten by the hard drive or something and she’d ended up having to turn in an unrevised and incomplete back up draft, and her teacher accused her of lying about it. Lacey just kept sobbing. “Tell you what, I’ll go make a screwdriver and we’ll have a drink, and then we’ll talk, K? Sound good?”
She managed to coax a nod out of her friend.
As it turned out it had been a disaster. Apparently, Lacey explained, she’d gotten there just a minute late, but others were waiting, so they interviewed others instead, so she ended up sitting there waiting. Everyone else who was there and totally more prepared, by the way she’d described it, they’d brought easels, props, Power Point presentations and Visio graphs. They were all judging her for having gotten there late. When they came out to get her, she was eating her hair. Apparently that’s a thing.
“I haven’t chewed on my hair since I was like 4, and only when I’m nervous or scared, but there I was just munching away, I must have looked like a total special needs. But that wasn’t the bad part, I mean well, sitting there while everyone was judging me was horrible, but it was worse when I got in the interview. She asked me questions and I had things rehearsed, but I just choked. I forgot everything.”
“So like what’d you say?”
“First, I was like a deer in headlights, God I must have looked like an idiot, but then she asked me a question and I just was totally completely unfiltered honest. It was bad—like so bad. Really bad. Like at one point, she asked something like: what was your worst moment in a scholastic or professional setting and how did you overcome it, and do you know what I said?”
“What?”
“I said, ‘besides right now?’ Like what was I thinking? I actually said that, then instead of telling that story about how someone forgot to bring the shovels on volunteer day like I planned, I was all, I never really had a job, uhm, and she goes, ‘Scholastic experiences is fine.’ Eventually, I try to turn it around and I say, ‘Well, I’m sure if I get this job I’ll have great experience to answer this question.’ She—well she just smirked and said, ‘I’m sure that’s true.’”
“Oh..”
“Yeah, which is basically code for, ‘Ahum, I know you’re a fuck up.’ So from there it was all downhill, I mean I tried to recover, and ended up going overboard trying to answer a question by writing on the white board, but I ended up making all over my hands cause I was fidgeting with the marker, and it wasn’t until she like physically stopped me that I realized I was writing on the white board with a permanent ink sharpie.” Lacey looked up at Artemis’ silence to see her smirk turn into a sputter of laughter. “It’s not funny!”
“I’m sorry, it totally is!”
Lacey gaped.
“Lacey, hun, come on, it was one interview, and sure, you blew it up in EPIC style, but it’s not the end of the world. It happens to everyone.” She continued past Lacey’s increasingly infuriated stammers, “Not every day is going to be perfect, but so what?”
Lacey was finally able to put words to her boiling blood, “Maybe it happens to SOME people, but not me. I’m better than this, and this is a big deal.”
Artemis glared at her roommate, “Oh, you’re better than some people, huh?”
Lacey glared back, though she was already regretting the tone she’d taken.
Artemis’ voice went serious and controlled. “You know what, Lace, I’m going to give you a pass on this, cause clearly, your shit,” she gestured waving her hand in a circle, “Is the opposite of put together.”
Lacey curled her knees up to her chest and hugged herself, “I- I’m sorry.”
Artemis sighed, “It’s okay, just. Look you’re not getting any booze tonight, come out with us this weekend, and we’ll get wrecked out in the woods, but not here. Not now, ’kay?”
Lacey nodded.
Now highly composed Artemis continued, “Look, besides, you already got a job in town, right? So all’s not lost. Just focus on the positive. You’ll get the next one, alright?”
Lacey nodded.
After a little more comforting and saying good night to her roomie, Artemis shook her head to herself. Lacey was always so put together, now she was being so meek. When Artemis told her to go wash up and get ready for bed, she did, but something about her demeanor was just off. It was a weird role reversal. Now Artemis felt like the nurturing mom, like Lacey was obeying her like a little girl. It wasn’t crazy weird, just it was a side of Lacey she hadn’t ever seen.