I was driving. I’m not totally sure how or when I got in the car... it’s all foggy. Yet, as if on auto pilot, I was weaving through the streets headed to Anderson drive. I knew where I was going, though I didn’t know when I had decided to go. But now there was a burning desire within me to see him. I want him. I need him. I am his. I thought aloud as I drove. “It must have been 20 minutes ago. Or 30? I’m all the way on this side of town… did I leave from my apartment?” I couldn’t remember, but 2019 Anderson drive was still blocks away. I could almost hear him laughing as I thought about what I would say when I arrived.
But what was I doing? It had been weeks since we had last seen each other, what if he moved on? What if he no longer needs me? I shook the thought out of my head. “He has to need me like I need him. I am his.” But my heart beat a little faster in my chest, as I made my final turn. I shivered with anticipation of his touch. But would he touch me? Would he know my desire when I arrived? He always seemed to know when I want him, like he could read my thoughts, he always knows my exact desires and wants. Not that it would be hard...my desires and wants were always him.
I slid out of my SUV and took a self-inventory. Mini Skirt, bikini top, oversized tank over that. Maybe I could ask him if he wanted to join me on the beach. That seemed reasonable enough. “People do that right?” I thought. “Friends can…, I mean lovers can, No I mean.. frien…”
I was knocking on his door; this piece of white wood was standing between me and my desire. “Damn this door,” I muttered under my breath. I knew I was being irrational, and didn’t care. “How can a door be so damn frustrating?” I thought. It was in the way. I HATED it. All the way until it swung open.
There. There he was. I breathed out a deep breath of relief at the sight of him. I was trying to hide the fact that it seemed like the first time I’d had air in weeks. I subconsciously ran my hands over skirt to straighten it, desperately trying to cover my nerves. I heard the smile in his voice, even though I couldn’t meet his eyes to see it. “Well, hello.”
“Hey” I breathed. “So um...” I looked up coyly, and when I met his eyes my smile matched his. I could see the heat in his eyes; they told me that these might be the last word that I spoke all night. I lost myself. The heat rose in my body beginning under my skirt.
But before I could gather my thought or finish my sentence, he pulled me into him and kissed me. His lips caressed my mouth. One arm held my lower back, pressing me into his body. His other hand held my chin, firm, but gentle and loving. I felt held and safe. It was the perfect kiss, but commanding. It was tightly controlled, and through it, I was controlled. I was being reminded with this kiss… that I was his, and as he held me there was only one thought in my mind; “Why had I been away from my desire for so long?”
When the kiss ended I instinctively bowed my head. And waited.
“You’ve been away for awhile.” His voice hung over me. I could feel the weight of my guilt for disappointing him. I wanted to please him; I want him, I need him, I am his. I said nothing. I couldn’t unscramble my thoughts. I wanted to explain why I had been apart from him, the things I had been thinking but my emotions and thoughts were a blur. I couldn’t tell him because... because I didn’t know.
The only thought that was clear was that steady, rhythmic phrase: “I am his, I am his, I am his.” It was all that I needed. I banished my thoughts in favor to these words and breathed out deeply again. I began to feel more safe, more whole. Clarity came into my mind, I knew why I had returned to him.
Suddenly, I was moving through the door, slamming it shut and with two handfuls of his shirt I pulled him to me, kissing him again. He reacted in kind, and pressed me against the door as his tongue slipped into my mouth. All I could do was hold on as he pressed into me. Passion was pouring from his mouth to mine. One of his hands found its way to my hip, and with the lightest touch he placed his finger into my hip bone and squeezed. This slight pressure made me instantaneously wet. “I need him inside me,” I thought. His fingers found their way up my shirt, moving up my ribcage, lingering for a moment, as if searching for something, until, traveling a bit farther, they found what they were looking for.
His kisses moved from my mouth to my neck, desire still building within me, but the speed in which he touched me was changed. He kissed down my neck and across my collar bone to my shoulder. Meticulous kisses. Thoughtful kisses. As if he knew right where I desired every one, his pauses seemed to be asking “Here?” Kiss. “Here?” Kiss. His hand never moving from my chest. I watched him as he kissed me, his eyes never leaving mine. I could hear his questions in my mind. Then suddenly his eyes narrowed.
I was moving again, I had his hand in mine and I was tearing through the house. Was I fueled by my need for him or something else? I burst into his bedroom, to find the most beautiful sight. His pristine white king-sized bed made for the perfect eaglet playground for our afternoon. Seeing the bed changed this yearning into fulfillment and I smiled. I stood staring at the place that would sweep way all other thoughts.
Close enough that I cloud feel him breathing he stood behind me, his hands slid under my shirt and pulled it over my head. He shifted my long hair over my shoulder and kissed the back of my neck. We moved him behind me towards the bed perfectly in step, mechanical almost. As if he was moving me without words. He pushed me over the bed my feet still on the floor, I pressed my chest against the pillow top mattress. He smiled. I could feel it. “I want him, I need him, I am his…”
His palm ran up my spine, pressing me to the mattress. He kissed my back again, this time at random, I was unsure where he would kiss next, the anticipation of how he would touch me next had me wet to the point I knew he could slip into me at any moment. He slid his hands up both my sides as he kissed up my spine, he pressed his chest into me holding me against the mattress. I turned my head to try and see him, and our eyes locked once more. “I want him.” My thoughts swirled around the phrase. “I need him.” And I did, more than anything, I pushed up on my toes in order to push myself into his pelvis to show him that I wanted him. “I am his.”
He slid back and reached under my skirt, pulling my bikini bottoms so that they dropped around my ankles, I heard his jeans unzip and felt the pulsating desire deep within me. His hands gently grazed my vagina to test for wetness. His chuckle helped me to know that he approved. He pressed behind me, and I could feel that he wanted me, too. As I looked over my shoulder at him I thought, “ I need you,” and then he thrust into me. A gasp of relief and pleasure ran across me. I turned my face to the mattress and he pushed inside me again and again. At this angle I was struggling to scream with pleasure and breathe with the motions. The sound that came out of me was a primal purr, a guttural reaction to the extreme pleasure he was pressing deep with in me. I wanted to speak the words I had been thinking but with each attempt I only purred. These gasping primal sounds were so new to me, but I needed to see him. I looked over my shoulder once again to meet his eyes. I want him, I need him, I am his.
He stopped for a moment, and turning I pulled him onto the bed. Naturally, as if he knew what I wanted to do for him, he laid on his back. I wet my dry lips from the gasping with my tongue, our eyes never parted as I took him into my mouth. His back arched, I massaged him with my mouth and hands, knowing every desire he had for this treatment. It seemed as though I could hear his every desire, and I was fulfilling them, making slight adjustments as his shifted under my tongue. He was growing closer and closer to climaxing and I was so happy to be pleasing him, his desires were my desires. I knew this was what he wanted. I knew I … his eyes narrowed again and he raised suddenly, his eyes commanding me to lay on my back.
Without missing a beat he was sliding inside me, slowly again. Our eyes locked in an intense stare. “ I want you….. I need you… I am yours…” The phrase pressed into my mind, came out my lips. And in that moment, all other lingering thoughts disappeared. I collapsed into the phrase. “I want you, I need you, I am yours.” As he pushed deep inside me I knew I was drawing ever closer to the point of sheer pleasure, and I knew this phrase was the answer.
As he pushed inside me I said aloud. “I want you…” He pressed so deep inside me I could feel the completion on the thought connected with his thrust. He lingered there for a moment. Allowing the pleasure to build.
He pulled out slowly and began pressing deep again, “I need you,” I said, our eyes never loosening their gaze. Again he pressed so deep inside me so strong that I felt the feeling and the thought connect.
“I am yours!” I gasped. I was at the peak, pushed to the ultimate desires of my mind. I gasped at anticipation of what was next as very muscle in my body began to tighten. I felt closer to him than I had ever felt to anything in my life. I gave over completely to this feeling.
And then, for the first time since he opened the door, he spoke. “Mine...” he whispered into my ear as he thrust into me. The orgasm came like a title wave, I began to tremble underneath him.
“Yours...” I gasped, my voice weak where his was strong.
Again he drove deep within me. “MINE...” he said again, stronger. I couldn’t respond... the feeling had taken my voice away. I shook like a leaf in the wind from the sheer, overwhelming pleasure of it all, cumming again every time he took me, every time he claimed me. “MINE... MINE... MINE...”
As the words and the pleasure broke over me, I basked in the sensations I was receiving from him. I knew that I would never be apart from him again, could never be apart from him again. I want him. I need him. I am his. Forever.