The Mask becomes You
Part 20
“Do everything I say,” Felicity instructs us both calmly. I feel myself relax into a mindset of obedience. Thankfully, I don’t have to fight or try to decide things anymore. I would do everything Felicity said, gladly.
“So this is what it feels like?” she marvels as I stare enraptured at her beautiful mask-covered face. She looks the picture of a Goddess, her blonde hair cascading over her shoulders like a golden river. Her dazzling green eyes sparkle like emeralds, capturing my gaze with impossible allure.
I listen with my full attention, even as a dreamy smile floats on my lips. It feels so right to stare into Felicity’s eyes. I know that whatever words she speaks, I will obey, and that knowledge is a soothing comfort after the turmoil I have so recently felt.
Felicity will be the Goddess now, and I don’t have to worry about it. I don’t have to worry about anything ever again.
“Stacy, you just stand there and stay quiet. I need to talk to Tara,” Felicity instructs before returning her attention to me.
She gazes at me with such adoration in her eyes. Walking up to me, she lays one cool hand on my flushed cheek and speaks to me in a soft voice, barely above a whisper.
“Is this how I looked to you the first time you placed me under your spell?” she inquires, her voice dripping with reverence. “So enamoured? So full of longing?”
“You were scared at first,” I replied, feeling a slight part of my focus come back as I recall the memory. “You were scared right up to the moment where I made you worship me.”
“That…” Felicity begins as she thinks back on her enslavement, “that was the best, the happiest moment in my life…” She spins around and laughs gleefully.
“I was terrified! I remember now,” she says, much louder, coming back up to me and stroking my hair out of my eyes. “I had always dreamed of finding someone I could surrender the entirety of my being to. I had just assumed I’d eventually find a husband into BDSM or something. The feeling of being trapped by the mask’s power—your power—was terrifying at first, until I knew what it was, and then it was wonderful.” Her lips now an inch from mine, she whispers, “Are you scared now, Tara?”
“No,” I reply honestly. Her scent is intoxicating, and I feel an urge to drop to my knees and worship her naked body. Instead, I stand there frozen, gazing into her amazing eyes.
“Really?” Felicity smiles. “How come?”
“Because I know what’s going to happen. You will enslave me and be my new Goddess.” A warm flush spreads through my body as I say those words. I feel ready to serve, ready to obey.
“What? No!” Felicity shakes her head vigorously before grabbing both of my shoulders. “I’m not going be the goddess! You are!”
I was too stunned to reply, my heart sinking. Felicity is wearing the mask, she should be the one everyone bows to…
“You’re just saying that because the Mask is in your head…” Felicity purrs into my ear. “Don’t worry, we’ll fix you…”
I open my mouth, but before I can speak, Felicity’s face is directly in front of mine again, her gaze locked on me. My world shrinks around me as all I can focus on is those incredible green eyes.
“Every instruction the Mask gave to you, you no longer obey,” Felicity whispers. “Every thought it planted in you, you see now as fake and completely distinct from your own. Every compulsion it weaved through your mind now dissolves away. You’re free, you’re in control.”
I gasp, my eyes wide with fear as I feel my mind swarm with overwhelming thoughts. It feels as if the tendrils of the Mask are being siphoned out of my head via a thousand pinpricks in my skull. The room spins. My ears ring. I struggle to breathe as I try to stave off panic. It feels like my brain is swirling around, warping under the stress of all the entangled thoughts being ripped apart like velcro. I grit my teeth and strain for several seconds, but then scream out a pained cry as I drop to my hands and knees, feeling like my head has exploded.
A few strained, deep breaths and at least half a minute of staring at the carpet later, I feel a freshness in my head that is almost alien to me. It feels like returning home after spending years away. It feels like stepping into a spring meadow as if one were plucked out of a dream. It feels like my mother hugging me close, or my father swinging me up in his arms. It feels like my nervous first day of college, feeling terribly relieved to have Stacy by my side. It feels like agonising nights spent thinking romantically about Stacy, and doing my best to bury those emotions. It feels like endless confusion over why I never go on second dates, why I barely have any other friends, and yet why I’ve never felt lonely in my life. It feels like fantasizing about the hipster boy and the sexy redhead TA in my philosophy class, though never daring to dream about anything coming of it. It feels like gnawing uncertainty over who I am, and who I want to be.
My name is Tara Miller, and I’m myself again.
I’m also very suddenly aware that I’m naked. I raise my head and am greeted by the sight of bare feet belonging to an also-naked Felicity. I gulp nervously, tilting my head farther to look at her face.
Wearing the mask, she smiles down at me.
“You’re back!” she declares happily.
I’m instantly drawn towards her glimmering emerald eyes and I start to feel a wash of warm calm flow over my mind.
“No, Tara it’s okay!” Felicity shakes her head. “Don’t get drawn into the mask. Just be yourself.”
The fuzziness washes away as quickly as it came on, and my head is once again crystal clear. I can feel the ghost of my hangover somewhere in there, but compared to my newfound mental freedom, I feel like I’m on top of the world.
“Felicity… You… You did it!” I stammer in disbelief as I pick myself up off the floor. The moment I get to my feet, her arms are around me, embracing me in a tight hug.
“Welcome back, Goddess,” she whispers in my ear. The words send a shiver down my spine. Felicity’s naked skin feels warm against my own. It’s soft and smooth and feeling her makes me tingle inside. She reeks of sex and stale sweat, yet the powerful musk is bizarrely invigorating.
“Tha- thank you.” I blush before shrinking back from her. Hearing soft breathing behind me, I turn to see Stacy standing to my side. She too is completely naked and standing idly. Her eyes are locked on the Mask as she hangs on Felicity’s every word, waiting poised for any command meant for her. My gaze travels up from her bare feet, slowly drinking in her soft skin and graceful figure. My cheeks burn red as I think about everything we said to each other. The influence of the mask may be gone from my mind, but the memory of everything that’s happened burns bright.
The kiss I shared with Stacy had been beyond a dream.
“Felicity…” I say, turning back to the blonde. “I don’t know what to say… you saved me.” I then motion to Stacy. “Us, even. I don’t know how I could ever thank you.”
I can see Felicity’s barely contained excitement. “You can thank me by making my your slave again!” she says with wide eyes as she takes the mask off and thrusts it into my hands.
I almost flinch as the mask touches my skin.
“I… I…” I stare down at the mask, and I can’t speak the words.
I don’t want it.
I hate it.
I want to destroy it.
My mind is my own again for the first time since I wore the mask. The moment it had touched my face, it poured its insidious thoughts into me, making me think I was the one who desired enslaving all those around me. The Mask is pure evil and brings out the worst in me. Tears form in my eyes as I start to sob softly. Because while I cannot deny my hate, it’s also not alone. I stare at the mask as several terrifying thoughts drip through my brain.
I want it.
I crave feeling the power.
I want to be the one in control, able to manipulate any situation to my desires.
I feel a horrified panic surge within me. Those thoughts are a hundred percent my own. The ideas and manipulations the mask weaved through my mind have been torn out, leaving me feeling frayed but with a much deeper understanding of my own desires.
I like having my way. I like being in control. I prefer it when people shut up and let me decide what we’re all going to do. The mask took that seed within me and grew it into a gnarled, twisted monster of domination.
But as my quiet sobs turn into howling tears, I realise that I liked being the monster. Having that power on the tip of my tongue, being able to mold whomever I liked into whatever I wanted… For the few days I had the mask, I truly was a goddess and had never felt more incredible.
My tears splash down onto the surface of the mask, it’s cold, empty eye sockets staring mockingly up at me.
Wearing the mask lets me live out my fantasies without having to work for them. I don’t have to earn the trust or obedience of anyone who I snare, I simply take what I want… Worse still, when it becomes so easy to completely enslave a mind, it leaves me with a craving for more, and the act of enslaving soon becomes an addiction.
The mask warps my thoughts, corrupts my soul, and will always try to take over if I give it the slightest chance.
The power comes at a cost. I’ve already come so close to losing everything… Am I truly willing to risk it all again when I know what’s going to happen? Am I driven by my base instincts and primal desires, or by my better judgement and my compassion?
I look up to see Felicity staring at me with concern, discomfort clearly etched on her features. Of course, she’s not used to seeing her “Goddess” weep like a human.
“Are you okay, Tara?” she asks nervously. “Is there anything I should do?”
“You’ve already done enough,” I say with a smile as I wipe my eyes with my free hand. I know what I need to do now, I just hope Felicity doesn’t take it too badly. “You freed me, Felicity...” I explain warmly, “Now it’s time for me to free everyone else.”
My plan is clear in my head. Wear the mask just enough to undo all the damage I did before. Erase some memories here, remove some suggestions there, and I can make it seem like the whole last week or so had never happened. I plan to keep the mask, and to use it. But I will do so sparingly, and I will only wear it when I know exactly what I’m going to say. The mask won’t control me again. I will be a Goddess again, but on my own terms, and in my own time.
I let out a deep breath, set in my conviction, and, gripping the mask tightly, put it-
“Wait.” Felicity’s voice sounds cold and demanding, and cuts through my mind like an icy knife.
My hands freeze, the mask inches from my face. I try to finish putting it on, but my hands won’t obey me. My heart leaps in fear as I look up to see Felicity staring at me angrily.
“What do you mean ‘free everyone,’ Tara?” she demands.
“What? Nothing!” I panic, fumbling in my head for ideas. “Just let me put the mask on, and I’ll explain everything…”
Oh shit. I instantly realise how stupid my words were as Felicity pries the mask from my rigid fingers.
“I don’t think so,” she says grimly. “Now tell me what you meant by that, Tara.”
I need to get the mask back! I frantically try to will myself to move, but Felicity told me to wait, so I really don’t want to move. The gut wrenching realisation hits me that although Felicity removed all the thoughts and impulses planted by the mask itself, I’m still being controlled by its power, and Felicity told me to listen very closely and do everything she says.
“I was going to fix everything!” I plead. “Give me the mask, Felicity, please. I’m begging you!”
Felicity steps back and looks at me with growing disgust. Fuck, that had been such a stupid choice of words.
“I think I’m starting to understand why we never got to know each other before you found the mask…” Felicity says, looking down at the sleek mask in her hands, then up at me, as if trying to spot a resemblance.
“Felicity, I…” I can’t find the words, and Felicity snorts in derision.
“Unbelievable!” she berates me. “You’re not the Tara who tore my will away and turned me into her slave! You’re so weak… was everything I loved about you... was all of that from the mask?”
“N- N- No!” I stammer, simultaneously terrified of Felicity and furious at myself. I had the mask in my hands. I had been so close to being able to put everything right, and now it all stood on a knife edge. I have to calm myself the fuck down! If I can reason with Felicity, convince her that I’m right, then I can take the mask back. Then it doesn’t matter what I said. I could fix her with everyone else. I heave a deep breath in and do my best to relax as I exhale.
“Felicity, look…” I say, my voice more tempered now. “The Mask was taking things too far. It took my desires and twisted them out of proportion. It isn’t right to take peoples’ freedoms away. Come on, you know this!”
Felicity just glares at me. “So what, you were just going to put me back to the way I was before?”
“I… Uh…” I stare at the intense fury growing in Felicity’s eyes and feel that the heat might soon start to burn me. This isn’t going well. I need to choose my words more carefully. What does she want to hear? Of course she doesn’t want to go back, she embraced her slavery more than anyone I entranced. I need to placate her. I mean, having her as a slave to have at my beck and call? I could do that. Couldn’t I? It feels like such a strange thing to think now that the mask is no longer driving my thoughts. But honestly, Felicity is sexy, loyal, and smart. I want to be with Stacy, but maybe I can find some way to make it work.
“Don’t lie to me, Tara!” Felicity snaps. “What were you going to do to me?”
“I was going to change you back!” The admission spills out of me like a guilty flood of words. Felicity’s fists clench and I quickly add, “But I don’t have to! I can make you into anything you want! I could make you my slave, you know? We could see how that goes…”
“See how that goes?” she asks incredulously.
“Well, yeah…” I trail off. I can’t help it, the truth is burning through my mind, and after Felicity’s command, I can’t lie to her.
“It’s just, I want to be with Stacy. I want to put everyone back to how they were and for us to have a fresh start of being together, without the mask, without all of this crazy shit going on. I’m sorry that’s a disappointment to you, Felicity, but I don’t want to be the way I was. I want to make Katie a nicer roommate the way I intended to back when all this started, and then if I ever use the mask again, it’ll be for little things that don’t hurt anyone.”
I blink in surprise at my own words. Is that it? I suppose it must be, having been compelled to tell the truth. I guess knowing now how dark and twisted the mask made me gives me a new appreciation for the virtue of a light touch. Having felt what the corruption flowing through my veins feels like, I’ve been given a second chance to do things differently, and deep down I don’t want to let the mask corrupt me again. The first time it happened, I didn’t know it would. Were I to repeat things, I would be responsible this time, and I don’t think I’m ready to accept that.
“But look, Felicity…” I explain nervously. “I get you’re not happy with that, and I understand why. I only was a slave to the mask for minutes, and it felt like nothing I’ve ever experienced.” I pause, as I let the memories flow through my head. Kneeling in obedience… Knowing without a shadow of a shred of a doubt what my purpose was in life and existence… It had been a serenity I never knew could exist. It was like a dream… But it wasn’t my dream. “The only reason I don’t want it now is that I know it wasn’t me submitting to the mask,” I continued. “I want to be myself.”
“Well it was me, Tara,” Felicity snaps back. “You weren’t you kneeling to the mask, but I was me. I felt the most free to be myself than I ever have before. I can’t go back. I won’t let you make me. I’ll fix you. I’ll make you like before.”
She starts to raise the mask to her face. “No!” I cry out in panic. Felicity pauses to look at me skeptically. I scramble over myself to find something to stall her, something to make her stop. “We can still do that! You, I mean! I don’t have to turn you back! I see that now, you can stay like this! I promise. Just don’t put on the mask.”
“Oh, so I can be some forgotten thing you ignore while you have a regular relationship with Stacy? I don’t think so…” Felicity scoffs, and the mask moves closer still to her face.
“W- W- Wait!” I stammer, the terror strangling my words. “Aileen! Or Grace!” I manage to blurt out.
Felicity pauses at this, and she lowers the mask ever so slightly so she can just see me above its rim. “What do you mean?”
“I mean we can make it so you serve someone!” I propose, grateful for the scant few seconds I bought but desperate for more. “Someone who will be your perfect Goddess and take care of you!”
“So what? You’ll just pawn me off on someone else? Well don’t I feel treasured now…”
“Felicity, please, I’m begging you… Let me turn you back to how you were before I first used the mask on you. I swear if you feel the same as you do now, I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll be whatever you want!”
Felicity scoffs, and, ignoring my desperate pleading protests, places the mask back on her face.
I can’t look away. I know that I should, but I feel like a leaf caught in a storm, terrified and lost.
Felicity’s glittering emerald eyes pierce into my own. Once more, the power of the mask bores into my mind. I can feel the power spread throughout, infesting every inch of my brain with its dark tendrils, ready to re-write me at any moment.
My breaths are sharp and fast as every muscle in my body tenses.
“When you put the mask on, you will become the goddess you know you can be… The goddess you know you want to be. You won’t have doubts, or fear of reprisal for your actions. You will take what you want and what you deserve. And all of the time, it will be you in control of the mask, not the other way around. Its thoughts and attempts to influence you will be easy to see and resist. It will be your slave the same as anyone else whose will you take away.”
My mind swarms with this information. I can feel the tendrils pouring their instructions into every inch of my brain. The moment the mask touches my face, I will be undone. I won’t become like I was before when I wore the mask for the first time. No, Felicity was distilling my traits, discarding the ones she saw as weak. I wouldn’t be me. I don’t know who I would be.
“Felicity… Please…” I rasp. “Don’t do this, you don’t know what might happen, what I’d be capable of! I’ll wear the mask. I’ll be your Goddess again. Just let me stay myself, don’t turn me into… I don’t want to go.”
Tears pour down my face, but I can’t blink, and I can’t look away.
Felicity then turns to Stacy. “Stacy, you will forget everything from the moment you walked into this room today up until the moment you leave it. Understand?”
“Yes,” Stacy said sleepily.
I wanted to clench my firsts and tear Felicity’s head off. How dare she manipulate Stacy’s thoughts! Felicity takes no notice of my anger and instead takes the mask off.
“This isn’t over, Felicity,” I say through gritted teeth. “This isn’t serving your Goddess, this is serving yourself!”
“I’m sorry, Tara…” Felicity sighs as she holds the mask in her hands. “But I think you’ll disagree in just a moment. I must serve my Goddess, and you are not her.”
She places the mask back in my frozen hands, wrapping my fingers around the frame with her own.
“Put the mask on now, Tara,” Felicity commands, watching me with reverence and barely contained anticipation.
I strain with every last reserve of willpower I have and try with all my might to lower the mask away from my face. It feels like trying to move the world, and no matter how hard I strain, all I manage to do is make my hands tremble. As the mask closes the last few inches to my face, I realise that this is it. This is the last moment I have with my mind being my own.
“I love you Stacy!” I call out, even though I know she’s right beside me. “I’ll always—“
Then the mask touches my face, and my whole universe changes.