LOOK BOTH WAYS
27
He stood on the corner leaning against the traffic light pole. The rain made rivulets, which ran down his spine and into his underwear, as it was force-fed through his coat and his shirt and his trousers to his skin. He looked at the dark early evening sky and smiled, wondering if he had been deserted, or whether he was going to be followed around by rain clouds for the rest of his life. People walked past him and stared and shook their heads, but at least the traffic wasn’t dodging him with the angry fists and eyes of their drivers, he mused.
‘What, are you doing?’ Sounded a woman’s voice behind him.
‘Getting wet,’ he grinned boyishly and said, before he turned to face the woman policeman, who stood with her cap and raincoat on. She wasn’t getting wet.
‘Did you lose your marbles, with everything else in your life?’ She asked dryly, and not smiling, as the rain ran harmlessly off her cap and rain-coated shoulders.
‘Nope,’ he grinned sheepishly.
She stared hard at him for several long seconds. Then she shook her head sadly, before finally sighing deeply.
‘Shit!’ Her female sighed. ‘Come on then. I’ll dry you and feed you, but then you’re on your way. Got it?’
‘Yep,’ he grinned, then followed her to the police car. He got in the passenger side and wiped the water from his face with his right hand, as he watched her slide like a big graceful cat, down into the seat behind the wheel. She turned and stared hard at him again, then shook her head slowly and started the police car. She drove no slower than her partner did, he mused, as he reached for the seat belt and buckled himself in tightly.
Her house was a house. It was not a home. It took a female to make a house into a home. He knew that, and what she was not, yet. She took him inside and showed him the bathroom.
‘I’ll bring you something to wear, while I run your things through the dryer,’ she said, pointing to his wet clothes. ‘Drop them outside the door.’
‘Yep,’ he answered, then stepped inside the scented bathroom. He undressed completely and opened the door, then dropped his wet clothes. They landed with a squelch. A strong-looking hand then reached through, just as he was about to close the door. It dropped a pair of jeans, white boxer underwear and a shirt. He grinned. Perfect. He thought warmly toward her.
She was just perfect. When he opened the bathroom door again, after showering and shaving with a razor he had found there, the first thing he did was smell bacon and eggs. Then he saw them on a plate on the table that had four chairs. He wondered then how many people lived in the house with her?
He wore the clothes that she had given him. They were a bit loose, all of them. In fact, they were very loose, but he liked them.
‘They were my father’s,’ she said, as he walked up to the table and sat down. ‘At least they’re dry.’
‘Thanks,’ he answered with a smile. ‘For everything.’
‘That’s okay,’ she said with a sigh. Then the woman policeman came back. ‘But remember, I don’t take in stray dogs or cats, and I certainly don’t take in stray humans.’
‘Yep,’ was all he said. He got the message, wondering if her female was getting his.
‘Dig in. I’m going to get dry, too,’ she said over her shoulder, after she turned and began walking toward the bathroom. He did, and, it was great.
He finished them quickly and sat back in the chair. Then he looked both ways and then all about the house he could see before him, and wondered about the families that had lived there in the past, and the family that lived there now. He wondered if it was a family of one.
And then he thought about nature, and human nature and how natural and happy they were when brought together.
The part of the house he could see was tastefully decorated and definitely feminine. He smiled softly. At least, she allowed her female a hand in something, he mused. The ceiling of the lounge room was a soft green and matched perfectly the light shade of cream on the walls.
He glanced upward. The whole effect contrasted impressively with the four exposed roof beams, which ran lengthways across and about six inches below the ceiling. Then he grinned.
What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder, he thought and smiled, knowing that the essence of the joining was the joining of the flesh, and so natural consummation between male and female is assured always, especially when brought into close proximity to one and the other to be one… One flesh.
The sound of her voice talking before she had even reached him signalled her arrival back into his living thoughts. He smiled at her, as she walked past him without looking and went through to the kitchen and began clattering. He could not see her.
‘Coffee?’ She yelled.
‘Yes,’ he smiled loudly, feeling a sense of having been in the same situation before.
‘How do you take it?’ she yelled again.
He wondered if it had been she who had made his coffee at the police station.
‘Same as you,’ he yelled back to her, then grinned, hoping she wasn’t the same coffee maker.
‘Are you married?’ She yelled again.
He glanced down at the white band on his finger. ‘Nope,’ he yelled back to her, wondering why he wasn’t, or if he was or had ever been.
Any female who shares with me the act of consummation is my wife, he pondered then, for when a virgin male or female come together with the other they marry. He stirred physically beneath the loose and baggy boxer shorts. Consummation is not force, he thought next. There is no adultery, other than by men and women, and I and My Father did never say the opposite.
She went into the kitchen talking when she left and she came from the kitchen still talking when she arrived. He smiled sadly. She talked about nothing, for company.
Handing him one of the cups she sat down opposite him. She wore blue jeans, as he did, a checked shirt and bare feet. Her face was set in its policeman personality, but in the eyes of her latent female within he knew she waited patiently, curious… about him.
‘Divorced, huh?’ She said, indicating the white band on his finger.
‘Maybe,’ he stated idly, truthfully, with an honest smile. It was not a question. If he was married, he wondered who she was, and then again, what his name was and where he had once lived.
‘Feel better?’ she asked, her blonde hair neatly combed and still wet.
‘Yes. Thanks,’ he answered graciously and grinned, glancing at her full shirt-covered breasts for several seconds, before looking up at her watching him. He did not feel shame. He did not feel guilt, and it was she who broke their gaze next, but she had said nothing of his looking.
The hour has come for the Son of man to be glorified, the thought came to him. He stirred physically again beneath the baggy trousers, and wondered if her female knew. She was not smiling when next he caught her gaze. She was not there.
‘Are you?’ He asked quietly, and not smiling himself.
‘What?’
‘Married?’ He said.
For the briefest of moments her female appeared back in her eyes, and then she was gone. She glanced at the floor. When she looked up again the woman policeman was back, with a vengeance.
‘Almost,’ she replied, with a setting of her jaw. ‘But I got smart before it was too late.’
‘What happened?’ he asked softly, knowing everybody had their own unique and sad story to tell, if only they could find someone to listen. He was a good listener.
‘Nothing,’ she said curtly and he smiled. ‘Saw him for what he was. That was that. All the same, you lot. Don’t get it, you’re gone. Don’t need you,’ she finished, with a look in her eyes and the set in her jaw of a lumberjack.
He nodded compassionately, feeling her pain and her sadness at a natural female life lost and missed. He stirred strongly for her female and wondered.
‘Why did you put the cuffs on me?’ he asked with a grin. ‘And hit me with that thing?’ For the first time, then, she smiled, sort of. ‘Really?’ He added then, when he noticed a slight embarrassment to her half-coy smile.
‘I knew they wouldn’t stay,’ she said sheepishly. ‘You looked too decent to be anyone who would really need them.’
He grinned. ‘Then why did you cuff me when your boss walked away?’ he asked. ‘I wasn’t going anywhere, and I came along peaceable, didn’t I? And why hit me?’
‘Peaceably? Well, I guess so,’ she admitted. ‘I guess I—’
‘Did your boss tell you to cuff me and hit me?’
‘Err-not really,’ she hesitated. ‘It was a judgement call, I guess.’
‘Really? Then you thought I really was someone who needed to be cuffed and hit?’
‘No. I told you I didn’t.’
‘Then why did you cuff and hit me at all? Really?’
‘Okay,’ she said with a sigh and an embarrassed smile, defeated only momentarily. ‘For the hell of it. Okay? Just for the hell of it.’
He smiled warmly at her, showing he had no hard feelings, because of her belated honesty. ‘Okay,’ he said with a little-boy grin, then sipped his coffee, while she left the table without a word and went back to the kitchen. She returned a few minutes later with a fresh cup of coffee. She had not offered him one. He allowed her the first sip before he spoke.
‘It wasn’t very nice,’ he said quietly, not nastily, just as a stated fact.
‘The Coffee?’ she queried.
‘The cuffs and the night-stick.’
She looked away for a few seconds. ‘Sorry. Okay?’ she said somewhat apologetically.
‘Sure,’ he said, smiling softly. ‘But you wouldn’t know, really.’
He noted the blaze flash through her eyes immediately.
‘Look, I said I was sorry. Okay? What do you want, a fax?’
He chuckled brightly, and, after a few seconds, so did she, and her female was back and was truly beautiful.
‘No,’ he smiled finally. ‘I don’t need a fax.’ A comfortable silence developed quickly. Then she held his gaze again. ‘But your apology can only be a paper word, though, can’t it, since you really don’t know? But it’s a nice one, so I guess the depth of your apology doesn’t really matter. Does it?’
He smiled again softly. His eyes were warm and honest with her female, while she remained, which wasn’t long.
Her smile faded quickly. She looked away and then shifted in her chair, as if she was uncomfortable. When she returned her eyes to him they were womanly, and vengeful.
‘Look,’ she began. ‘I said I was sorry and I meant it. Okay? I don’t know what else I can do, except apologise, and I’m not gonna sit here all night doing it, over and over again.’
He smiled patronisingly, and then looked away, grinning, and knowing she was getting steamed, and also knowing that his smile and the look on his face would raise her temperature even more so.
‘That’s okay,’ he said, looking back at her blazing eyes. ‘It doesn’t matter anyway. Who cares, really? I’ll be gone soon and nobody will ever know. Will they?’
‘Good,’ she snapped, and then sighed, finishing the matter in her mind. She lifted her cup to her lips and sipped.
‘But you shouldn’t say you know how I felt, when you don’t have a clue,’ he added insult to injury.
‘Jesus!’ She fumed, spilling some of her coffee with her sudden outburst. She stared bloody murder at him then for several seconds, during which time he held her drilling gaze evenly, along with a knowing smile, just to keep her temperature up. Suddenly, she slammed down her cup onto the table, which spilled even more coffee onto the pink cloth.
Then she stood up and walked quickly to her bedroom. He grinned.
Give the stars to the heavens and give your prayers to God, he thought, and give me, what is mine.
She returned inside thirty seconds. Her right hand held the silver handcuffs. She stopped in front of him. He turned fully in his chair, seeing that she was staring smugly and angrily down at him. She slapped the key down loudly onto the table and stepped back about three feet from him.
He grinned annoyingly up at her. Her eyes narrowed and she scowled. Suddenly she snapped one of the silver bracelets closed around her left wrist. She froze and looked quickly up at him for only a second with the finality of the metal locking sound. Then she looked down again at the tight metal enclosing her wrist. She was about to lock the other silver manacle closed over her other wrist when he spoke.
‘You cuffed me from behind,’ was all he had to say, a little sullenly.
‘Jesus!’ She fumed, taking the silver cuff from her right wrist and placing both hands behind her back.
He smiled, as she leaned her upper torso forward a little, then snapped the metal lock into place. Then she straightened up and stared angrily and smugly down at him, her hands manacled securely behind her back. Her eyes blazed defiance, righteousness and final victory over him.
‘There! Happy?’ She snapped. ‘Now I know what it feels like. Okay? I damn well know!’
He raised his face to hers and smiled warmly to her in her hostility toward him, knowing she was too angry to really know what being cuffed felt like.
‘So, what does it feel like?’ He asked quietly, but smugly.
‘Good!’ She snapped. ‘It feels, bloody, great!’
He burst into laughter instantly at her outburst and the ridiculousness of her answer and supposed victory. At first her steam began to instantly build again, as he watched her face and eyes, but then she cottoned on to why he was laughing. Then she laughed, too. She looked beautiful when she did, he thought. They laughed spasmodically on and off then for a couple of minutes before finally quieting.
‘It feels good?’ He asked quietly, with a smile.
‘Yes,’ her female pouted adamantly, still seemingly delighted to play the game, now that her tension had left her.
‘It feels great?’ he asked
‘Yes,’ she pouted again.
‘It feels, bloody, great?’
‘Yes,’ she grinned.
‘And now you know how I really felt?’
‘Yes,’ she pouted adamantly again.
‘Okay then. Now I accept your apology,’ he said, and then smiled honestly at her with his eyes.
‘Good,’ she grinned. ‘Now get that key and unlock me. They damn well hurt.’ Then she chuckled.
His gaze never left hers, as he spoke. ‘Key?’ He queried, still smiling. ‘What key?’
Come, she that is manifest in her deeds, he silently encouraged her female, while she was still there, somewhere. Come, she who gives joy and rest unto them that are joined to her first time.
But the female had gone. In her stead was left only the woman, and, she wasn’t smiling. Her eyes darted from the tabletop to his eyes, to the floor, to her pockets, and then back to him.
Come, O perfect compassion, he thought silently, encouraging her female to return.
Her gaze raced back and forth, back and forth, from the table to him, to the floor, and to the pockets of her clothes again.
Come, O fellowship of the male, he thought silently, while he grinned smugly up at her, hoping her female would return with his visual looks.
Then her head abruptly stopped turning. Her eyes ceased their rapid scanning and searching movements about herself and narrowed. Her eyes blazed.
Come, he further encouraged her latent female, she that knows the mysteries of him before her and knows that she has been chosen.
She took one step menacingly closer to him than she had been; her hands still manacled securely behind her back. Then she remembered that and stopped herself from taking another. Her eyes blazed. Her nostrils flared.
Come, he said silently in thought, that her female might finally hear, she that has part in all the combats of the noble champion,
He watched, smiling softly up at her, as her lungs drew quickly to their fullest capacity.
Come, he thought finally to her female, as a life preserver is thrown to a drowning man, you holy dove that bears the twin young.
But before she could spew out her woman’s venom he jumped quickly up from his chair and grabbed her by the face with both hands and kissed her hard and fully on her mouth.
And he held that kiss for a long time, even until she breathed his air and he breathed her anger, and even through her mighty struggles, until she began to become breathless, and even began to become limp under his grip.
Finally, he broke the deep kiss and released her breathless to stand shaking and trembling on her feet, as she gasped deeply for air. His intense male gaze never left hers, as he left her presence and sat back down in his chair.
Come, hidden mother, he smiled up to her gasping female then.
And then, as his smile faded into her confused, yet still-blazing eyes glaring down at him, he looked both ways, then relaxed back into the chair and waited to see if it was going to be a short or a long courtship.
To this male’s body your belly will rise, he thought stirringly, for I shall be ever eager above you.
Then he set his jaw and held her gaze, his smile vanishing, as if it had never been.
I am not what you made of me, he thought then, and as the Son of my Father, I was never, but was always the son of the female. I am, but a link to who you really are, and I am your first chosen male.