I Love Him, But… part 1
There are two things you should know about me. My name is Rob and I’ve been in love with my best friend Ryan for three and a half years, ever since I met him our freshman year of college. He and I were completely inseparable from the moment we met in our Acting 101 class. Both of us being theatre majors, football fans, and gamers, we had enough in common to become fast friends. Other than our sexuality. So while he was dating incredibly lucky ladies, I was wishing I was one of those lucky ladies.
Ryan was a walking wet dream for me: short dark black hair; beautiful sparkling green eyes; a permanent five o’clock shadow; a perfectly respectable build with a nice nest of chest hair; manly, hairy in all the right places, strong hands; with amazing loyalty and a killer sense of humor. Oh, and when he smiled! It lit up the room.
I, on the other hand, have short brown hair, average face, average build, fairly hairless, and endlessly awkward. Our friendship was really the only thing that brought me any kind of social interaction as he was also outgoing, friendly, and quite popular with guys and girls alike. And the fact that we moved in together our senior year of college really helped me spread my wings a little further. Why he reached out to me and befriended me, I’ll never know.
Now, I hate to back up before I’ve even started my amazing story, but you should know a couple things about me and my relationship with Ryan. First, Ryan and I were and are amazing friends. I care about him more than I’ve cared for anyone else…I just happen to also be in love with him. And being so close, I naturally let him know how I felt. While he was flattered, he was more concerned about whether or not it would be difficult for me to still be friends. See what I mean about how great he is? That is exactly why I would NEVER want to do anything to hurt him or to take him off of his path. While I’d practically kill to be with him, I know it’s not in the cards. It just really wouldn’t hurt to make out, suck each other, and fuck every now and again and then let him go off and do a chick if that’s what he wants.
Second, I’m a bit of a tech geek. I’m the kid that got a Nintendo, tore it apart, looked at all the pieces, and then put the thing back together again. I have electronic upon computer upon appliance broken apart and stashed in my room. I’m a bit of a Frankenstein when it comes to my building: always experimenting and putting stuff back together again in weird ways; just to see what might happen. Over the years a made a solar powered auto-pen, a water powered computer, and portable x-ray glasses. Yeah, rather science fiction, but I should also mention that they didn’t work very well. At all. It’s really just a hobby, however, so I never minded that most of my inventions puttered and failed miserably.
Lastly, I’m by no means chaste. I’ve had my fair share of guys. I just can’t find one that makes me feel all warm and gooey like Ryan can. Despite doing ok with guys (usually all met on-line and one night stands), I just never feel happier than when I’m near my best friend. This is why I agreed when he asked me to move in with him for our final year of college.
And this is where my story really starts. I had been living with him for a couple months and during which time, I had been working with a torn apart microwave, speaker, and megaphone. As with most of my stuff, I really didn’t know what it would do, just focused on making it do something.
“You wanna go out with Kyra and me? We’re gonna go to a movie, if you’re up to it,” Ryan shouted from the living room one Friday evening in November. Kyra was his girlfriend of the past month or so. And while I was jealous of her, I got along with her just fine.
“No thanks bud. I think I’ll stick around here and work on this megaphone thing.”
“Ok. I gotta go pick her up, but I’ll see you later!”
I heard the door slam from my room as I continued tinkering with my machine. With this particular machine, I had put the trigger from the megaphone, energy source from the microwave and the output section of the speaker into a weird little gun-like thing. It was essentially still a megaphone, just with, well, some microwave parts in the middle. It wasn’t my best invention by any means, but it did make your voice sound kind of cool.
“I come in peace,” I said into my new machine.
Feeling rather hungry after working in my room all day, I walked out towards the kitchen, set the Megawave, as I named it, down on an end table in the living room, and made myself a sandwich in the kitchen. Afterwards, I decided to watch some TV and relax after a long day.
“Wake up, wake up, wake up!” shouted a sudden low, powerful voice.
I launched off the couch and nearly jumped out of my skin from the eruption of noise in the apartment.
“What the hell!” I screamed.
There in front of me was Ryan laughing his ass, holding my Megawave.
“Dude, you nearly pissed yourself!”
“Fuck off,” I growled, shooting him an angry glare. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I saw that it was 6:57. I must have dozed off.
“Sorry, I had to do it. Kyra and I decided to skip the movie and just get some dinner, so I got home a little earlier than planned. So what is this supposed to be?” Ryan asked while looking my Megawave over, sitting next to me on our couch.
“I don’t know, it’s like a megaphone, I suppose. Nothing special,” I replied, finally gaining my breath after the sudden scare. TV still blaring in the background, Ryan asked, “Well, do you even know what you wanted this to do? It looks kinda cool. Like a Speaker-megaphone. Does it make my voice really loud? All I noticed was my voice got really low.”
“Eh, it kind of makes your voice sound garbled and low. That’s about as far as I know,” I laughed, clearly not impressed with this particular invention. My inventions varied from machine to machine, and this one ranked as about as cool as a beeper. As Ryan investigated me new machine, I took the time to feel his body heat next to me, one of those little things I always did when I was around him. With all his focus on my invention, he didn’t notice or care that our arms were touching. This was as close to sex with him as I ever got!
“Blah blah blah, la de da de da, doop doop doop doop. Bleep blah bloo,” Ryan said into the Megawave. “Wow, it does make my voice a little deeper. Cool! My voice is deeper. My voice is deeper.”
Rolling my eyes at his dorkiness, I couldn’t help but notice that he was right. His voice was a lot deeper. Almost commanding and dominant.
“Say hello to my little friend!”
“Hello,” I replied to the Megawave.
Ryan put down the Megawave. “No, nerd. I was saying that line from Scarface,” Ryan laughed.
“Oh. Yeah. Duh,” I was slightly taken aback by how obvious that was. Of course it was just from the movie. But I couldn’t help but feel like I had to say hello. It was instinctual. I didn’t even feel weird about the fact that I’d said it. It just felt right.
“You honestly..haha..sounded like you were greeting the machine!”
“Shut it, ass!” I grabbed the Megawave from him. Still laughing his ass off, I put the Megawave up to my mouth and as in the best Darth Vader voice I could muster, “Stop laughing!”
Ryan stopped laughing instantly.
Dumbfounded, I took the Megawave away from my mouth and stared at him. “Well that was sudden.”
“Haha, I guess. Just felt like it wasn’t funny anymore. So I stopped laughing. It just felt right.”
That response was weird to me. When he told me to say hello, I did, even though it was just a movie quote. I know that I thought the exact same thing: it just felt right. I wasn’t embarrassed about it in the least and it didn’t deserve all the laughing, to me at least. And he felt the same way about his bizarre end to his laughter. It was strange that he would just suddenly stop laughing to me, but to him, it was completely natural.
That got me thinking.
Putting the Megawave back up to my mouth, I said, “Get up, jump up and down five times, and sit back down.”
Ryan got up, jumped up and down five times, and sat back down.
I kept the Megawave up to my mouth as I questioned, “Ryan, you did exactly what I just said. Tell me why?
“Well, it just felt like I should. It just felt right. No big deal.”
What had I created? When I talked into my machine, it somehow created a force that wired directly into the brain and caused compliance with my requests. I wondered if it would work if I upped the ante.
“Ryan, take off your shirt.”
Ryan immediately shed his shirt. There I was, sitting next to my straight best friend and roommate, him shirtless. Displaying his wonderfully hairy pecs, strong arms, and tempting treasure trail, I couldn’t help but feel my shorts tighten. And realizing he was shirtless because I merely suggested it made my shorts tighten even more.
Ryan, for his part, didn’t seem fazed in the least. He just sat there next to me watching TV.
“Ryan, tell me how you feel.”
“I feel kind of warm, happy, content, relaxed, and at home.”
Well that was detailed, I thought.
“Ryan, tell me how you feel about me.”
“You’re my best friend and I love you. I feel like you and I will be friends forever. I feel like I can tell you anything without judgment, lean on you when I need to, and I feel completely comfortable and trusting of you.”
“Ryan, tell me how you feel about my love for you.”
“It worried me at first because I didn’t want you to feel like I led you on and I didn’t want to hurt you because I’m straight. But after a while I realized that you respected me and our friendship meant everything to you.”
That really hit me directly to the heart. He truly loves and trusts me completely. And here I am, taking advantage of him. Sure, I only had him take his shirt off. And sure, it made me harder than I’d ever been. But was I hard because he was shirtless? Or was I hard because of the possibilities? Sure, he touched my heart. But, man, I really wanted to touch his penis.
“Ryan, know that I love you very much.”
Ryan smiled.
“Ryan, know that I would never hurt you.”
Ryan smiled.
“Ryan, take off your pants and socks.”
Ryan stood up and began to remove his belt. As he unlatched the buckle, I couldn’t help but feel unbelievable shame at what I was doing. Here I was taking advantage of my best friend; how just ten seconds ago he told me how much he trusted and loved me. But then he unbuttoned the pants and pulled them down. All that shame disappeared as I saw his tight white boxer briefs cradle his wonderfully round ass. When he bent over to remove his socks, I swear to all that is holy, I couldn’t remember my own name; all that mattered was that glorious ass. And then he sat down next to me casually, as if nothing was different in the slightest.
Now, I’ve seen Ryan in his underwear. We lived together! But knowing that he was sitting next to me, completely relaxed, and that it was all because I had made him do it; I nearly shot my load in my pants. There was one very thin layer of fabric between me and the unknown. Being straight, he was never too free with his nudity, so I’d never seen his package. And as shameful as it made me, I REALLY wanted to see his more than likely beautiful dick.
But first, I had to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary in his head.
“Ryan, how do you feel?”
“I feel kind of cold, happy, content, relaxed, and at home.”
Ok, so other than the obvious temperature change, he didn’t even notice the changes I was making.
I took in a deep breath, contained my excitement, and stated as calmly as I could.
“Ryan, take off your underwear.”
The man of dreams, the man I had fantasized over for four years, stood up, almost as though he were a robot, grabbed the elastic bands on both sides, and pushed down.
His penis was gorgeous. Sure, it was soft, but even then, it was 4 inches. Chances are he was a grower. His two hairy testicles dangled freely below his shaft, unshaved. The black forest of pubic hair was just right. He clearly trimmed the area, but left enough to emphasize his package. His ass was two almost hairless (who knew) mounds of beauty. They were globes of deliciousness that begged to be touched, teased, and licked.
And just like that, he sat back down next to me, as though nothing in the world were wrong or out of the ordinary. I, on the other hand, knew that this was a very special evening. This was the evening that I would finally get a taste of the man I loved. At this moment, it wasn’t even about my own physical pleasure; it was all about finally being allowed to view, and maybe even touch, this god of a man.
But then I had that surge of guilt crawl back into my mind. How can I be playing with my best friends mind like this? How can I use him like a puppet when he told me so clearly that he trusted me completely? Does this make me a horrible person? Fuck that, I told myself. Just enjoy the evening. Breath, focus on him, and we’ll deal with that shame in the morning.
I took that golden moment to really process what I happening. His face was glued to the TV so I could really soak in the view in front of me. His chest, toned and perfect without effort, was rising and falling slowly. His demeanor, to my delight and surprise, hadn’t changed in the least. His arms rested at either sides of him. Strong arms with ample dark hair down to his strong, veiny hands. His hands had always been a feature on him that I had admired. They looked like they had been earned through hard work, veins protruding and tough skin. They looked even better when viewed next to his package, which up to now, had only been a figure of speculation. But now, it rested between his legs brilliantly displayed to me, lying without a twitch upon his hairy scrotum. His legs lay out before him, crossed at the ankles. He had hairy, manly legs that led to size 12 feet which I had always longed to rub. Feet that were so close to my being putty in my hands.
“Ryan, you want nothing more than a foot rub right now. Ask me to give you a foot rub.”
“Hey Rob, my feet are killing me today. Would you rub them for me?”
“Of course buddy! Anything for you.” Well anything for me, I thought to myself.
I kneeled down in front of him and grabbed his right foot and began rubbing my thumb into the meat of his heel. Slowly, I moved my thumb towards his toes while my other fingers massaged the hair on the top of his foot.
“Oh, Rob. That feels amazing.”
I grabbed the Megawave, “It feels so good, Ryan, that you’re getting hard because of the pleasure.”
As I gathered and continued rubbing the manly foot my straight friend had willingly offered me, his cock began to grow before me. The blood pumping to his shaft made it bounce a bit as it elongated. I noticed a single vein on its underside that made my mouth water. I had to tickle that vein with my tongue before the night was over. And just fifteen seconds after I told him to get hard, it was rock solid. Bent a little towards his left, I marveled at his 8 ½ inches intoxicating my every sense. I shuttered as it teased me while I grabbed his left foot and began to repeat the treatment his right foot had just received.
Ryan moaned as I continued his foot rub, but slowly, I started moving up his leg. His ankle, his lower thigh, and then his upper thigh. It was there that Ryan shouted at me hastily and angrily.
“What are you doing? I asked for a foot rub and you’re making this weird. Rob, I love you man, but respect my boundaries!” He kicked his leg from my hands.
Shit, I didn’t tell him to be ok with it. But even with my stupid move, I couldn’t help but laugh at my straight friend shouting at me about rubbing his thigh while he sat there, hard and nude, in front of me. His attention moved back to the TV while I grabbed for the Megawave.
“Ryan, you’re ok with me touching you where ever. In fact, Ryan, you want me to touch you with my hands and tongue. Tell me that you’re sorry and that you want my hands all over you. You figure out a reason why you overreacted like that.”
This should be good.
“Oh damn it, Rob, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. The truth is, I really want you to touch my thigh. What I mean to say is…well, actually, I want you to touch me everywhere. I guess I’ve just lied to myself for so long about that. I know you love me, and I’m not into you that way; don’t get the wrong idea, but man, I just want your hands and, well, your tongue on my body. You know, as friends. So, like massages and stuff. Just don’t get the wrong idea. Please don’t think I’m using you or leading you on.” He looked pleadingly into my eyes. He clearly was worried that I would be mad at his requests.
I giggled a bit to myself, “Oh no, Ryan, I understand. Thanks for being honest with me. Do you mind if I start by licking your nipples?”
“That sounds great man. Thanks for understanding. I’m so sorry again.”
“Oh, Ryan, don’t feel bad. It’s perfectly ok.”
And so, due only to the fact that he wanted it (of course) I began to lick his nipple. I sat beside him on the couch and leaned in and put his left nipple upon my lips. I kissed his nipple, feeling it harden under my mouth, and slipped it between my lips, lightly nibbling on the small flesh. His hair was nestling into the side of my face and chin, cradling me into his pec. For his part, Ryan began moaning, clearing enjoying the feeling he was experiencing. And I, well I was in heaven. Here I was, sucking and nibbling on the unrequited love-of-my-life’s nipple.
And that was when Kyra came in the front door.