Headphones
There was something funny about the headphones. They had some very odd properties. Sometimes I would hear what was going on around me and other times I’d only hear what was coming out of her recording. And I think it was somehow controlled by the recording—as if she knew she would be talking to me when it started.
At first it was like that RJDJ iPhone app—that repeatedly played ambient sounds back to you with some delay. If someone said “hello” you’d first hear it repeated, softer, in your left ear. And then a few moments later in your right ear. And finally, softer still you’d hear the reverberation in the back of your skull. It was a very trippy sound to hear.
But her headphones sometimes did that and sometimes not. When I first put them on I heard her talk with the wierd reverb.
“Can you hear me hear me?", with a giggle. Then with a silly grin and a booming TV-hypnotist voice she goofiliy intoned “I am gooooing to hiiipnotize yooou...”
She continued more seriously, “Do you hear the birds chirp and how it seems to echo in your head? I think its really neat. Try it lying down.”
I started to protest—or resist—but she chided “C’mon! Try it. Wuss!”
This last was with a wicked grin. I find it hard to say no to a woman who insists I lie in her bed. It did feel nicer.
“Now that wasn’t so bad, now was it?” she teased with her smile looming over me. And her breasts. Looking very nice at that angle.
She bustled about and got me a blanket. “Now just relax. I’ll be right back.”
But she wasn’t. And so I listened to the music playing in the next room. The headphones echo effect made it sound especially trippy. Her voice then, from what sounded like a long echoey distance.
“Would you like some what? My voice is so dry; let me try that again. Would you like some water? Oh right—you’re hearing it twice. I’ll just get you some. Some.” I hear two water glasses fill up. Or did I hear it four times? My mouth was dry. I craved water.
Then I hear the funny fake hypnotist voice. “Clooose yoor eeeyes... you’re getting sleeepy.” It sounded, again, very far away; but moving closer. And of course it was repeated again in each ear and the back of my skull. It really did sound funny. I could listen to this sort of reverb-sound all day long, if the sounds were good. I closed my eyes, then chuckled that a little part of my brain worried that she was really going to hypnotize me. How easily those fears come up, after years of watching movies and TV where the bad gal hypnotized the good guy. It was kind of a thrill—I always thought those gals in the movies were really sexy.
Smiling, I listened to the music, seeming to waver louder and softer. Maybe it was a trick of the headphones and maybe not. I focused on it. Her voice echoed less and less in the background. I felt kind of floaty as I continued to hear her voice, from such a great distance “Yoou aarre uunder myyy commmaaand” and “oooobeeey”
How long had she carried on that hypno act? Her kitchen wasn’t that far away. I opened my eyes as she sat on the edge of the bed. The room appeared softer, like a bright light had been turned off. I blinked.
“You OK? You were really out for a minute.”
There was warmth and concern in her voice. Echoed again (left) and again (right) and again (back). Warmly. She took my hands in hers. They were cool, and soft. “Its all right. If you’re going to faint its best to do it when you’re already lying down.” She ruefully smiled.
She didn’t have to look so concerned! I dazedly smiled back at her. But I was hearing a vague sighing noise, like the ocean, and a few more soft near-indistinguishable echos. I strained to hear the echos of her voice through the now roaring—now sighing—noise of the ocean. I caught just a few words that seemed to stand out of the din. “sleepy”. “command”. “eye”. “feel”. “obey”. “close”. sleep. command. lie down. rest.
feel better. “You don’t have to keep them open if you don’t want to. Blink a bit.” she blinked at me. “They’ll feel better.” drift. relax. close your eyes.
Yes, it did. It did feel better. There was less roaring and echos. I heard her voice, sweet and near. “You know, once when I was a girl. I got this spacey feeling and half sat down and half just fell asleep.” sleep. “And at first I tried to get up but my body felt very weak”. weak. “So I just lay there for a little ways”. obey. “And I had this really vivid dream”. dream. dream. dream.
Her words seemed be coming farther and farther apart, like I was down a deep echoey well. “That I was lying down on something soft”. lie down. “and I didn’t know where I was staying”. stay. “but it didn’t matter”. nothing matters. “because I was in front of a web page that just said, ‘its ok’ with a submit button below it.” its ok to submit. “For some reason the web page made me feel OK”. ok. to submit. “Just said ok with submit, which I found really comforting.” comfort. submit. “I could accept it.". accept. “Everything was ok.” ok to submit.
I must have drifted off. Her voice was very sweet. Usually. But sometimes it came sharply and I dreamt that I had displeased her. Must please her. I didn’t know how I had displeased her. attend. listen. obey. The echoes seemed to go on forever, exhorting my obedience. reminding me so serve. giving me commands. ok to submit. calm. wake when you hear “you’re mine”. obey. submit. serve. you want to please me. obey. accept. submit. ok. comforting to obey. You are mine.
Then my eyes opened to sunlight, watching her lips move, mouthing “you’re mine” as she pulled the headphones away. A shock went through me. Was she in my head? In my dream?
“You look fine!” she said loudly. With relief I realized she must have been saying “fine”—not “mine”! But that wouldn’t have been so bad anyway. its ok. I guess the mind works in strange ways when waking from a dream. Often incorporating sounds that occurred outside the dream into the dream. But maybe getting them wrong. Probably got them wrong. Was something wrong with me?
Physically I felt great. ok to submit. Calm and relaxed. ok. yes, I felt quite ok. my brain buzzed a bit. Wierd dream. How could I ever have been concerned about her? She was so generous. I just wanted to do something for her. Anything. I felt muddle-headed. Couldn’t find anything to say. Just looked at her. She was so beautiful I wanted nothing more than to look at her.
She searched my eyes. I waited. Must speak only when spoken to. “Wow. You look completely smitten. Enthralled.” she said with a goofy grin. When my eyes widened she smiled and said “C’mon! Lets make some breakfast. Better yet, you can serve me breakfast! You owe me one after I took care of you last night”. Oh yes, I so owe you. I can never repay you. I am not worthy.
I followed her to the kitchen where she promptly sat on a stool. “I would like two eggs, over easy with some toast. and just a little butter and strawberry jam.” she said mischievously. She was so beautiful when she teased me. I could just sit and stare at her. But I had work to do. Unfamiliar with her kitchen. I started quickly looking in cabinets and fridge for pans, eggs, spatula, butter, butter knife and bread.
“Relax. You don’t have to move so fast. You will have plenty of time to learn my kitchen.” With relief I smiled sheepishly and slowed my pace, looking beyond what I was immediately looking for at how she had arranged the kitchen. A pattern emerged but that I’d have to study more in the future. It would be a beautiful pattern, for she was beautiful. I strived to learn where everything was. That would please her. I wanted to please her. What more could I want?
“After you wash up from breakfast you can do some chores and then later, if you’re good, I’ll let you listen again. You’ll like that.”
It hadn’t occurred to me before but yes, I would like to listen again. And if I had to do some chores first then so be it. It was only fair. She had done so much for me. How could I ever repay her? If she wanted me to do chores then I would gladly do them. That was how she wanted it. It was right. She was right. I sighed with content. How had I been so lucky to find her?