Dumber Switch
by Moe Wallace
Chapter 1: Sparks Fly
“Are you sure you’re using the properly rated wiring for that?”
Lenny groaned audibly as he turned to the castrating bitch that had been ragging on him throughout this whole job. She wouldn’t let him do anything without questioning it. “Yes, ma’am. I am a certified electrician in good standing. You checked my licenses and references three times before you hired me.”
Not that they meant anything, by the way you’ve been riding me, he thought. What had seemed like a quick in-and-out “make a buck” job when he’d snatched it off the board at the office was turning out to be a two day long nightmare. How this lady’s husband put up with her was one of the world’s great mysteries. She probably critiqued the way he took a dump.
“Honey, how’s it going in here? I brought us some ice water. Would you like some, Mr. Botts?”
“Sur—” Lenny began, but was abruptly cut off.
“He doesn’t need water. He’s indoors, and hardly breaking a sweat.”
Her husband, Walter, set the glasses down on the table in the breakfast nook. They’d hired him to install a dimmer switch on the nook’s light fixture, a small chandelier. He was so flustered by the tall blonde with the imperious scowl breathing down his neck that he slipped his screwdriver and hit a live wire by mistake. The lights in the room went out.
“You incompetent plebeian!” she screamed, and stormed off to find the breaker box. The husband stayed, offering a conciliatory frown and a glass of cold water.
Lenny thanked him and sighed. He didn’t want to say anything to the guy, but he seemed nice enough. “Is she like this all the time?”
It was Walter’s turn to sigh. “Mostly. I swear, sometimes I think she’s too smart for her own good. Always second-guessing people. I wish she had a dimmer switch, you know? Something to dial her down a notch?” Both men laughed. It was a welcome change for Lenny.
The rest of the job went about as smoothly as a root canal. The wife finally went off to run some errands and left Walter to pay the bill. As he was writing the check, Walter apologized again for her behavior.
“You know,” Lenny said, lowering his voice conspiratorily even though no one else was around, “I might be able to help you out with that.”
Walter was confused as he handed Lenny the check. “What do you mean, Mr. Botts?”
“I, um... my brother-in-law is a research scientist. He works on some crazy gadgets at his lab. Brought one home one time and showed it to me. Claims it’s some sort of prototype, works on brain waves. I dunno. Seemed to whip my no-good sister into shape.”
“I don’t know, Mr. Botts. That sounds kind of shady to me.”
“Oh, it’s safe, he tells me. Sis has been right as rain for a while now. You want me to see if I can pull some strings?”
“Umm.. I guess. Okay.”
“Great! Give me a few days.”
Chapter 2—Knobs
This guy is freaking nuts. Walter thought, as he showed the electrician out the door. He’d agreed to this little device or whatever it was just to get the guy to leave. Brain wave gadget? What was this, Star Trek? All thoughts of the conversation vanished as he heard the garage door open. Katie was back from her shopping, and by the sound of the car doors slamming, someone hadn’t fit her idea of customer service.
A nondescript brown box sat at the door a few days later, and Walter picked it up on his way in from work. He tossed his keys on the counter and dropped the rest of the mail on the coffee table. It had no return address. He figured it was just a kitchen gadget his wife had ordered months ago, but his curiosity got the best of him. He slit open the tape holding the lid shut and pulled out what looked like some sort of heavy duty, Caddillac model garage door opener.
It was about the size of his cell phone, matte black, with ports on the bottom and one side like it was supposed to plug into something. There was an LCD panel in the middle, several buttons on either side and a small knob underneath. The knob was numbered zero to ten.
He flipped what looked like a power switch on the top and the LCD lit up. All it said was “Searching...”
Maybe it’s got Bluetooth or something, he wondered, and set the curious device down on the table next to the mail. He went about his usual afternoon activities and eventually forgot it was there. When his wife came in through the door to the garage he said hello and kissed her. “How was your day?”
“Oh, you wouldn’t believe the asinine crap people try to pull with their insurance claims. Today a lady called in a claim and while I had her on hold she started bragging to her boyfriend about faking the whole thing!” She went on, but Walter had learned over the years to just tune it out. She didn’t want him to say anything or offer advice; she just wanted to vent.
He looked at his wife thoughtfully. She was quite beautiful, physically at least. It’s what had first attracted him to her. She had long, shapely legs and a liberal set of curves without being overweight. Her tummy was firm but not overly muscular, her hair a lustrous blonde (natural, he could attest) that ended just above her nicely-rounded ass. She had a modest chest, enough to fill out an evening dress but not enough to make a corset look good. Overall she was quite beautiful.
If only she had a personality to match, he thought ruefully. At this point, he mused, he would probably have just settled for less personality all together. She was intelligent, and she knew it. Would it really hurt her to not talk down to everyone?
He sat down at the table and noticed the gadget again. The LCD screen had changed from “Searching...” to “Acquired!” He picked it up and pressed one of the buttons. The screen read, “Make adjustments? Y/N” He hit the button next to the Y and the LCD said “INT Selected. Turn to adjust.”
Meanwhile Katie was just starting her tirade about one of her coworkers who had just received breast implants. “You should see this woman, Walter! She has the most ridiculously proportioned chest I’ve ever seen!”
Walter absent-mindedly turned the knob from 10 to 5. He was startled when his wife suddenly stopped talking. She had a bewildered look on her face.
“What’s wrong honey?”
“I...uh.. what was I saying?” She looked quite confused, and rubbed her temples.
“About Cindy’s operation.”
Her eyes lit up, “Oh yeah! God, her boobies are huge!” She stared off into space, as if there were nothing more to say.
“Does that bother you honey?” He couldn’t remember ever hearing her say the word “boobies” before. She was generally very precise with her terms. Breast, vagina, penis. It was almost clinical. She wasn’t exactly the type to talk dirty.
She was playing with some strands of her hair and seemed not to hear him. He asked again. She started, then answered, “Nah. Are my boobies good?” She punctuated it by thrusting her chest out toward him, hands on either side. He was so startled by it he didn’t answer right away.
“Umm.. sure honey. They’re great.”
“Cool.” She gave them a quick squeeze, one in each hand, and actually skipped into the living room. Katie doesn’t skip, he thought. He looked at the device in his hand.
He walked into the living room and found her flopped down on the couch, shoes off, rubbing her feet. Walter did enjoy rubbing her feet. She had the cutest little toes. Unfortunately Katie had stopped letting him do it as of late. She said it was “low class and weird.”
“Are you feeling okay, honey?” Walter sat down across from her, device in hand. His wife looked at him and smiled.
“Oh sure. Had a headache for a minute. My feet hurt. Can you rub them?”
He set the device on the coffee table and went to town, rubbing like he hadn’t had a chance to in months (and he hadn’t). Katie leaned back and closed her eyes, moaning quietly. She seemed awfully content all of a sudden.
When he was done, Katie sat up and turned on the TV. He took that as his cue she was also done with him and went back to his remote. He hit another unmarked button and the LCD changed. He had no idea what the options meant. He could adjust INT, LBI, BRS, SKI, AZ, and HC. On a whim, he picked SKI.
“SKI selected. Turn to adjust.” He saw that the knob had been set automatically to 4 this time. He turned it up to 7, and just about dropped it when he looked at his wife. She’d stretched out on the couch, feet tucked under her ass and arms behind her head, paying more attention to the TV than him. That wasn’t what caught his attention. Her normally pale skin had become Mediterranean brown. She looked like she’d stepped off a beach in Greece. It looked odd with her still blonde hair.
“Umm. How are you feeling, Katie dear?”
She yawned a bit and looked at him, a lazy smile on her lips. “I’m fine, stud. You?”
Apparently she was oblivious. He stammered, “F-fine. Just fine. Watch your TV, babe.”
She turned back to the TV and he adjusted the knob to 1. Now it looked like he’d married an Albino. Her skin was a doll-like porcelain white from head to toe, without so much as a freckle anywhere he could see.
Unsettled, he moved the knob back to 4, and sighed in relief when she looked just as she should again. Something in the back of his mind was screaming at him to throw the thing in the garbage or smash it to bits, or at least call that electrician and ask just what the HELL he’d sent him.
That part of his brain was overridden by a sheer morbid curiosity, and he cycled through the menu again. This time he selected BRS. The knob set itself to 3. He thought about turning it slowly for affect, but instead just went for broke and jacked it up to 8. He heard Katie moan, followed by a loud SNAP and the unmistakable sound of ripping clothes.
His wife sat on her side of the couch, now completely topless and sporting a pair of breasts that would make Pamela Anderson jealous. Her conservative blouse and matching bra were in tatters on either side of her and she nonchalantly shrugged them off, tossing the mass of clothing on the floor. She still seemed unfazed, now watching television naked from the waist up.
Walter turned the dial down to 1, slowly, and watched as her prodigious melons became a nice rack, then a good handful, then mosquito bites. She almost looked like she was regressing to her early teens. He figured zero was flat as a board and didn’t bother, instead ratcheting them up to 10.
His wife’s breasts ballooned like they were being filled with water until they dominated her front. He could no longer see her tummy at all. Her now enormous knockers rested on her lap, a healthy size JJ if he was estimating correctly. He settled on 8, and they receded a bit to sit pert and large.
He was pretty sure this was some sort of bizarre dream, and as he always did when he realized he was dreaming, he decided to screw it and enjoy it while it lasted. He looked at the menu again. He chose “AZ.”
The dial set itself to 3. He watched her closely as he turned it up to 7. Katie squirmed, seemingly uncomfortable. She swung her feet out and stood for a moment, arms stretching above her head. Her bare breasts swung enticingly, but Walter noticed something else. Her previously loose pantsuit was practically bursting at the seams in the back.
“Honey,” he said, figuring it was worth a shot. “I think there’s something on the leg of your pants. In the front.” His wife looked at him, then bent at the waist to inspect her pants. Sure enough, the back seam gave and they fell to the floor, leaving his wife staring at her bare shins and wearing nothing but a now very tight thong.
Walter had been watching this all with great anticipation, and “little” Walter was at full attention by now. His erection was painful as he watched his wife shrug off the exploding pants and sit back down, one foot under her expanded ass and the other dangling enticingly off the end of the couch.
Not really sure what to play with next, Walter went back to the INT option (now at 5) and dialed it to 3. He decided to rid himself of his pants while he was at it. Katie looked over at him and smiled.
“What’s that, mister?” She gestured to the tent in his boxers. He motioned that she come over to him, and she scooted over to his side of the couch. Her hands were tentative as she pulled down the band of his shorts and got a good grip on his manhood.
“Ooooh,” she practically purred, “Your thingy is big, mister.”
Walter laughed. “Do you like it, Katie?”
She looked at him, a little confused. “Who’s Katie?”
He frowned. “It’s you, honey. You’re Katie.”
Her eyes lit up, “Ooooh! Okay. I’m Katie. Who are you, mister?”
Walter had an evil thought. “You can call me Daddy.”
“Okay, Daddy. Katie wants to suck on your thingy. Can I?”
“Go right ahead, Katie.”
His now voluptuous and apparently dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks wife cooed and pulled his boxers off, and wasted no time practically inhaling him from tip to balls. Real Katie had never given him a blowjob. It disgusted her. Dream Katie seemed to like it just fine. She jerked him with her right hand and rubbed her newly-expanded mammories with the other.
Walter leaned back and enjoyed the view, Katie’s blissful face sucking and licking him as it bobbed up and down. He lent her a hand and massaged one heavy breast as she did it. With this other hand, he fiddle with the remote.
Selecting LBI, he turned the dial from 6 to 10. His cock vibrated as the bobbing head that engulfed it moaned low and loud. Dream Katie let go of his cock with a loud POP and stood. She fidgeted like she had to pee and pawed at her skin-tight thong. Her eyes were rolled back in her head and she mewled like a cat.
“Mmmmmmm...” she said as she practically ripped her thong off of her, snapping one piece and letting the rest fall to the floor. “Katie wants to fuck, Daddy. Fuck Katie, pleeeeeeeeease.” She shoved her hand into her pussy and rubbed furiously. Walter noticed that she was dripping down her leg.
He stood and got rid of the rest of his clothing, bending Dream Katie over so her feet were flat on the floor and her hands flat on the coffee table. He gave her no warning, just shoved into her waiting pussy as quickly as he could. She squealed in delight and backed into him, pushing him deeper.
As her wetness coated him he slipped in and out easier and picked up the pace. Dream Katie bucked against him, slamming her soft ass cheeks against his midsection with every thrust, breasts dangling and slapping up against her chin as she moaned, then outright screamed in pleasure.
Walter felt himself getting close, so he pulled out and grabbed Katie’s shoulders, whipping her around to face him and making her sink to her knees in front of the couch. He sat, and brought her pillowy breasts up to either side of his cock.
She got the idea and began to rub him between them, smiling in what seemed like complete adoration at her husband, her breasts shiny with his lubrication. At his urging she picked up the pace, holding her breasts together with one hand and fingering herself in rhythm with the other.
Walter felt himself coming, and grabbed the back of Dream Katie’s head. She engulfed him completely with her warm mouth, tongue massaging his dick as he went in. He felt himself unload against the back of her throat.
She coughed a little, then he felt her swallow. She spent the next five minutes licking every inch of him until his spent dick gleamed, shiny and clean. Walter could have collapsed right there. She got up and laid her head on his lap, cock rubbing against her cheek. “Thank you, Daddy.”
Chapter 3: Good Morning, Good Morning
Walter expected to wake up with either a raging hard-on or a wet spot in the bed and his usual not-interested-in-that wife the next morning. Instead he woke to a voluptuous blonde with killer curves on her knees next to him on the bed, her mouth wrapped lovingly around his cock. Well, I was right about the hard-on, he mused.
After bringing him to climax (which she swallowed down greedily), she kissed him on the cheek and bounced into the bathroom to take a shower. As she was getting a towel, Walter reached for his watch to see what time it was and accidentally hit the remote.
Katie (still looking like a dream) moaned and he heard a thump. He rushed into the bathroom and saw his wife on the floor in the middle of a growing yellow puddle. She looked around and waved at him, murmuring gibberish and slapping the puddle with her hands.
Walter ran back to the nightstand and grabbed the remote. The menu said INT and the dial had been knocked down to zero. He gasped and in his confusion turned it up to 10. He heard Katie in the other room yell, “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!”
She stood suddenly and he saw her through the doorway of the bathroom. Her entire body turned beet red and she lept into the shower and turned on the water. By the sounds she was making, he figured she was scrubbing herself furiously.
After a very thorough shower she came back into the bedroom in her bathrobe (which he noticed with some amusement didn’t quite close all the way) and tried to give him a scowl. She seemed a little shaken up and it came across more desperate than mean. “What the FUCK happened last night? And why did I just piss myself in the bathroom?”
Walter smiled, shrugged, and turned the dial back down to 3. He’d have to remember to thank that electrician one day.