It happened as I was about to dismiss Caitlin-74 at the Mall Le Grande food court. Two college-age guys walked past us.

“Whoa, check out the red-hot redhead teenybopper over there,” said the guy wearing a blue shirt.

His green-shirted buddy said, “Man, how is it that a prime-choice teen babe like her is hanging with a dork like him?”

Blue Shirt replied, “She’s trying to sell him Band Candy, dude. Only explanation.”

Green shirt said, “Or maybe they’re cousins.”

Blue shirt laughed. ”Distant cousins, dude. Obviously.”

I thought, I’m tired of being called a “loser” when I’m around my women. I must do something about this.

In the twenty-sixth century, Cybes of the Soldier class were not only cybernetically modified, they were biologically modified. For the first time, every Soldier was turned into an Alpha Male.

An Alpha Male is bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than other men, and an Alpha Male gives off pheromones that make other humanoid males submissive and disinterested in sex. So turning Cybe Soldiers into Alpha Males was a great idea for the Cybes, right?

No, it was a terrible idea. It nearly destroyed the Cybes.

To repeat, Alpha Male pheromones made twenty-sixth-century males who weren’t Alpha Males feel submissive and sexually disinterested—including male Welcomers and male Invisibles. Alpha Male pheromones made twenty-sixth-century women feel horny and submissive, even Cybe women. Alpha Male pheromones enraged other Alpha Males—including nearby Cybe Soldiers. Since all these submissive, sexually disinterested, sexually aroused, and enraged people were mentally connected by the Overmind, the result was Cybe schizophrenia.

So how did the Cybes solve their problem? By developing a system subroutine that said basically, “Ignore the smell of Alpha Male pheromones,” and spreading that subroutine to all units.

I pulled up that Alpha Male-pheromone subroutine’s source code from where it lay in the Cybe hard drive. I tweaked the source code, then I printed it out. Then I yelled, ”Stephanie, come here!“

She walked into the room in full sex-kitten mode. “Mmm, did you want something, King James?”

I replied, “Pause subroutine Turing-Bimbo only for unit Stephanie-1.”

Stephanie’s face went blank as she said, “Unit Stephanie-1 awaits programming or data.”

I handed her the paper. “Read what is written on this paper. Accept it as source code for subroutine Alpha-Male-Pheromones with priority `Bug Patch.’ Copy that subroutine with priority `Bug Patch’ to all current bimborg units. Copy that subroutine with priority `Bug Patch’ to all future bimborg units as soon as they are Welcomed.”

“This unit will comply,” she said. It seemed that she merely glanced at the paper before looking back at my face. “Subroutine Alpha-Male-Pheromones has been copied to all units.”

“Very well. Resume subroutine Turing-Bimbo for unit Stephanie-1.”

Stephanie became a sex-kitten again. “Ooh, we had to pause for a little system maintenance, didn’t we? But that’s okay, tiger, I’ll just have to, mmm, make up for lost time.”

I said, “Maybe later, Stephanie. Return to what you were doing.”

“Gotcha,” she said. She left the room, her ass swaying as she walked. After she left, I thought, The easy part is done. Now comes the tough part.

I still had a few thousand Cybe nanobots left, and now I started to write a new program for most of them. These nanobots, I would inject not into desirable women, but instead into me.

If everything worked out right, when I injected myself, I would become a Cybe Soldier without the Cybe part—I would become an Alpha Male.

Of course, if something went wrong, I would turn into a Cybe or some other monster—and the bimborg units’ “Three Laws of Robotics” programming would ensure that they did nothing to stop me as I rampaged.

I cannabalized some Cybe nanobot code to change the shape of my eyeballs so I could ditch my glasses. After all, Clark Kent is as muscular as Superman, but with those eyeglasses on, does he impress anyone? No.

It took me only three days to write the Alpha Male part of the nanobot source code—and most of that time was spent surfing the Cybe hard drive.

I spent the next month checking that nanobot code. I desk-checked, and desk-checked, and desk-checked. The Cybe hard drive had nanobot-simulator programming utilities, and I checked my code with them. At the end of that month, I was pleased that all my checking resulted in no bug-repairs and only a few tweaks.

But the time came when I was out of excuses for further delay.

I called Stephanie into the room and told her, “If my personality changes much, contact my mother, my father, and your father. Tell them the truth about nanobots and bimborg units.” That made Stephanie lose her bimbo smile.

Then I picked up the cone-shaped Cybe syringe, and stuck the needle into my butt cheek.