I joined the guys from accounting for lunch one day and they were all talking about the gorgeous woman in actuary. I had been by that department on several occasions and had never seen any hot women. I said, “Where does she sit?”
Jim said, “She sits in the last cubicle on the second row. Isn’t she awesome?”
I said, “You mean the skinny girl with the stringy brown hair and the glasses?”
They looked at me like I had just committed a capital offense. Then one of them said, “Dude, you must be talking about someone else. No one could ever describe Sarah Egley using those terms.”
Jim then said, “Yah, I think you’re talking about Candice in the next cube over. I have dated Sarah a few times and she just gets better looking every time I see her.”
Not knowing who is whom I said, “Okay, I’ll take a closer look next time I go by.”
I wasted no time in going by and immediately went over to where actuary sits in our building. I had a brief chat with the sales VP and then I walked right up to the nameplate that had Sarah’s name on it and looked down. The girl with stringy brown hair who I had described earlier said, “Can I help you with something?” I said, “No, I’m just lost.” I pretended to look confused and then glanced around like I was looking for someone or something.
She looked around as if to see if anyone was looking or listening and said, “No you’re not. You are trying to figure out why all the guys in accounting are in love with me. You probably think they need glasses or their eyes checked don’t you?”
I looked at this plain Jane and lied, “No not at all. Where did you get that idea?”
I could feel the blood rushing to my face from embarrassment. One of those guys at lunch had already managed to tell her what I thought. Her voice was deep but feminine and had a very soothing sound. Her perfume was Obsession and while I usually did not care for that scent I found it very erotic on her skin. She was not attractive but she did have a certain sex appeal. I wondered if the guys from accounting were confusing sex appeal with sheer beauty.
I had thrown my lie out there and hoped she would buy off on it. She said, “Really? Then you must have come over to ask me out for Friday night. I’m sorry but I’m busy Friday night but I am open Saturday night. What time did you want to pick me up?”
My mind was on her perfume and trying to put on a good act and unfortunately not on our conversation. I said, “Huh? Time? How about seven o’clock if that isn’t too early?”
She smiled and said, “Seven sounds wonderful. I’ll e-mail you directions to my house.”
I said, “Okay. By the way, my name is Ron Chamras.”
She said, “I know who you are. I’ve had my eye on you since you started here. Why do you think I said yes to your invitation? I am very selective about who I date. After all, I can afford to be when every guy in the company loves me. I meant to say, everyone except you.”
I wandered back to my office in a daze wondering how I had managed to end up making a date with her. I walked right by my secretary and as I did she said, “Are you okay Ron? You look, you look confused or disoriented.”
I said, “I’m not sure. Maybe I’m losing my mind.”
She laughed and said, “Happens to the best of us. I’ll hold your calls for a little while.”
As I walked into my office I realized that I was looking forward to our date. I went to my desk, took a bottle of water and splashed it on my face. Then I asked myself, “How did she get inside my head and get me to ask her on a date and get me to look forward to it? What the hell just happened? Did I go blind too?”
I was looking out the window of my corner office still thinking about my strange encounter with Sarah when I thought to check my e-mail. I get something like forty e-mails and hour and have to be very selective about what I spend my time reading and what I need to just forward to one of my people but I immediately spotted her e-mail. I opened it right away and read it.
She gave me very specific directions to her house from the office so I had to equate that into directions from my home. As I was glancing over her directions trying to get a feel for where she lives I saw her little postscript at the bottom of her e-mail. It simply read, “Don’t waste your time trying to figure out why you’re so excited about dating me. Spend your time figuring out where you’re going to take me. I have exotic and expensive tastes so be creative.”
As I read her e-mail part of me was really excited that I was going to be the lucky guy who got to date the woman that everyone else wanted. But then I got annoyed. Her presumptuous attitude and her comment about expensive tastes kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I reminded myself, once again, that she was just a plain Jane. There just wasn’t a single outstanding feature about her appearance and I needed to keep that in mind. Then my secretary knocked.
She opened my door and said, “Some woman from actuary dropped this off. She said it would help you make your decision about this Saturday.” She handed me the sealed envelope, paused for a moment and then said, “You tell me everything so tell me, what are you doing Saturday night?”
I said, “I’m going out with that woman who dropped off the envelope.”
My secretary said, “Ron, I’ve always been honest with you right?” Before I could answer she said, “Are you blind?”
I said, “Please don’t start on me. I heard about this fantastic looking woman so I went to investigate. All I saw was that plain looking woman who just dropped off the envelope and wondered if everyone was taking drugs. She looked up, saw me looking at her and somehow tricked me into asking her out. That was why I told you I was losing my mind.”
My secretary said, “Well then just be a gentleman and get the date over with as quickly as possible. But you already know that don’t you?” I put my head in my hands and said, “Yes, I already know that. Sometimes I wonder how I get myself into these situations.”
She left and I opened the envelope wondering what could possibly be in there. It was a blank piece of paper. I looked at it and said, “Huh?” Then I realized she had sprayed her perfume onto the paper. When the scent first hit me I smiled and thought she was a peculiar woman. Then I felt the need to enjoy her scent a little more and pressed it to my nose. I inhaled through my nose to get the full effect and then dreamily smiled as I realized how much I was looking forward to our date.
I grabbed a few of the men’s magazines I subscribe to that I had saved that had romantic ideas for dates. I scoured through them until I found the perfect date. I read over the idea a couple of times then I called to make my reservations. As I waited on hold I looked at the article on dating called 50 Perfect Dates and thought, “The perfect date for the perfect girl.”
My blood ran cold as I this thought went through my head. Was that it? Was her secret as easy as the perfume she wore? That couldn’t be it. I had dated women who wore Obsession and I had not become obsessed. I had not really even cared for the scent that much prior to today. I pulled out the piece of paper I had folded and took another sniff. I suddenly envisioned myself kissing her at her doorstep and hoping she would invite me in and said, “That’s it, it is her perfume.”
I decided to keep the date since I had not been on a date in awhile. I swung by a gag gift shop on my way home and picked up some sneezing powder. I would be fully clogged up and would ensure her perfume had no effect on me.
I did not see her or hear from her on Friday and was relieved. I went out to my car and didn’t notice that my door handle was moist. I hit the unlock button and opened my door only then noticing that my fingers were moist. I thought it was gasoline or oil or something automobile related and swiftly brought my hand to my face to smell the substance. It was her perfume. She had obviously snuck into the executive parking lot or maybe just convinced the guard to let her in and had sprayed my door handle with her perfume.
I stood motionless breathing in her scent and began to imagine myself making love to her. As I realized how badly I wanted her I knew I had to use the sneezing powder or I would end up as madly in love with that plain looking Sarah as the rest of the men in our building.
Saturday night arrived and I picked her up promptly at 7 PM. I had purposely exposed myself to the sneezing powder multiple times until I was so congested that even the sneezing powder did not work. When I spoke she said, “Oh no you sound really congested. Are you sick?”
I said, “Allergies. I always get them this time of year.”
She said, “I’m so sorry. Do you want to reschedule our date for a time when you can smell, I mean when you feel better?”
I slyly said, “No, I’ve been looking forward to our date ever since I asked you. Besides, we have reservations at the Gaming Room.”
She beamed from ear to ear and said, “Ooh I love that place. Now that’s exotic. Well done Ron, well done.”
We had a lovely dinner and while she flirted with me, batted her eyes at me and generally did her best to hold my interest without the perfume she really held no power over me. I mused at her inability to seduce me and wondered what was so damn special about her perfume. I paid the bill and said, “So are you ready for part two of our date?”
Part two of our date was supposed to be taking her to a race track. I told her we were going to watch some racing but I had actually paid for a solo run around the track for a few laps in a professional race car. But something funny happened on the way to the track. My nose started to clear up.
I first noticed it when I started looking over at her and thinking that she was beautiful. I said inside my head, “What the hell is wrong with you? She is plain.” But when I looked at her again I found nothing but beauty. I looked over, smiled and said, “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”
She opened her purse, sprayed her wrist with her perfume, reached out touching my face and said, “Actually yes, I see it worked.”
I said, “What worked?”
She smiled at me and said, “I put a decongestant in your martini when you weren’t looking. We couldn’t have you congested like that. After all, none of my flirting was having any impact on you and you are the grand prize. Now why don’t you pull over so I can kiss you?”
I pulled over at the curb, put the car in park and said, “What do you mean grand?” I didn’t finish the sentence as her arms wrapped around me and pulled me into her lips. We kissed and kissed and when we were done I wanted nothing more in the whole world than to have her.
She said, “Ron, would you do me a small favor?”
Before I could answer she kissed me again. The smell of her perfume permeated my mind and I said, “Of course Sarah, I would do anything for a beautiful woman like you.”
Common sense said she was not beautiful but there was no denying that I was on cloud nine and enjoying this date more than any other date I had ever been on. My senses were overriding common sense and did so again because I whole heartedly agreed when she said, “Do me a small favor and let me hypnotize you. It will be fun. I promise.”
I asked what I had to do and she said all I had to do was lean back in my seat, close my eyes and she would do the rest. I did and the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes. I said, “What happened? I thought you were going to hypnotize me?”
Sarah laughed and said, “You are a silly man but that’s why I love you. Look at your watch.”
As I looked down at my watch I said, “I love you too. That’s why I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” It was four hours after we had eaten dinner. I said, “Holy cow, you really did hypnotize me. What did I do for so long?”
She said, “First of all you told me how you had figured out that my perfume was rigged. I commend you for that because none of your male counterparts ever did. Then you crafty little devil, then you told me how you bought sneezing powder to counter my perfume. Then you told me how you call me plain Jane before you finally admitted how badly you want to make love to me. Then we explored your desire to submit completely to a woman and then decided that woman was me. Then I woke you up.”
I said, “So let me understand this. Your perfume was something more than just over the counter perfume? It made me want you and want you bad enough to allow you to hypnotize me. Then once I was hypnotized you were able to get out of me that I have always wanted to a woman to submit to and to worship? That’s incredible. I didn’t even know I wanted to submit to and worship a woman. But how did you know I was going to use sneezing powder?”
My beautifully enchanting Sarah then replied, “I didn’t. I always carry decongestant with me because if a man isn’t responding to me he usually has a clogged nose. When you were as congested as you were I suspected you had done something to make yourself plugged up but I had no idea you had used sneezing powder. I have to admit I expected some type of tactic to fight the effects of my perfume because it was brains that got you to the corner office.”
I said, “I love when you compliment me. I really don’t deserve as wonderful and as beautiful a woman as you. How did you know to explore my mind and find out I needed a woman like you to spend my life serving?”
She just smiled, gave me a little kiss and said, “Most men want that and just don’t know it. All I do is hypnotize them and help them to embrace that desire. Only this time I got the grand prize.”
I said, “I started to ask you what you meant by that earlier but you kissed me. What did you mean by grand prize?”
She said, “The sexiest guy in the company who also happens to be one of the top paid executives makes you the grand prize. When Jim and the other men told you how beautiful I was and sent you over to see me they were just obeying my orders. I had my sights set on you all along. But you get the grand prize too and I saved it just for you.”
I said, “You?”
She said, “Yes me. Now take me home and make love to me. I’ll inform the company we began dating and give my two week notice on Monday.”
I drove the love of my life to my house and made love to her all weekend. She is the most beautiful woman in the world and anyone that cannot see that must be blind.